*ੈ✩‧₊˚
IRL
*ੈ✩‧₊˚

↳ ❝WE WEREN'T SPEAKING,
WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO?❞

Chris can't shake the feeling that Mateo is shooting him the infamous stink eye. As they return from a walk, he discovers Mateo and Levi in the living room. Lovette steps away briefly to fetch her driver's license for their last-minute outing. Normally, their exchanges are easygoing, but this time, an unmistakable tension hangs in the air—a tension that mirrors the strained conversations Chris often had with Layla.

He chooses to ignore it, only needing a few minutes before his girlfriend gets back.

Just as Chris hopes for a moment of peace, Maeve calls Levi upstairs. The room clears, leaving Chris and Mateo alone.

Chris, still perplexed by Mateo's apparent discomfort, attempts to break the ice. "Everything okay, man?"

Mateo hesitates, choosing his words carefully. "Just wondering how you're handling the long-distance thing with Lovette. It's been a while since you two have been in the same city, and, you know, she seemed pretty shaken up about it before."

Chris raises an eyebrow, a mix of surprise and concern coloring his features. "Shaken up? What do you mean?"

Mateo, downplaying the situation, waves it off. "Oh, you know, the whole distance topic. She was just venting, I guess."

An internal alarm rings in Chris's mind, a signal that something significant might be afoot. He searches Mateo's face for clues but finds only a practiced nonchalance. The air becomes charged with a palpable tension as the unspoken conversation dances on the periphery of their words. Chris senses there's more to Lovette's distress than Mateo is letting on, yet the conversation takes a detour, leaving Chris in a state of disquiet.

Mateo glances around as if to make sure no one is listening, then leans in conspiratorially. "Sometimes, words don't do justice to what someone's going through. Actions speak louder, right?"

Chris, intrigued and slightly wary, nods. "Sure, but what are you getting at?"

Mateo takes a breath, preparing to share a revelation. "When you called her a couple of days ago, she was crying after. Like really crying."

The words hang in the air, creating a charged silence. Chris, caught off guard, feels a mix of emotions—confusion, disbelief, and a hint of anger. He doesn't say much in response but instead finds his way to Lovette's room. He knocks once and waits for her voice to tell him to come in. She's seated on her bed, wrapped in his hoodie, a sight that would typically bring comfort but now adds an extra layer of complexity.

"I need to talk to you," Chris begins, looking at her intently as he closes the door.

Lovette tilts her head, "What's up?"

Chris hesitates, his emotions swirling within. "Mateo mentioned something about you being upset last time we called. Why didn't you tell me?"

A flicker of discomfort passes through Lovette's eyes, but she quickly masks it. "Mateo told you?"

"Yeah, he did," Chris replies, his tone a mix of hurt and frustration. "Why didn't you come to me? We're supposed to be able to talk about these things."

Lovette shifts, her gaze avoiding his. "We weren't speaking, what did you want me to do?"

His expression hardens. "Not speaking doesn't mean you can't come to me when you're upset."

She sighs, her frustration evident. "And when would I have been able to talk to you? You're busy and I didn't want to burden you."

"Burden me?" Chris responds, his voice rising slightly. "We're in this together. Your problems are my problems. I want to be there for you, but I can't do that if you shut me out."

Lovette's eyes flash with a mix of guilt and defensiveness. "I didn't shut you out."

Chris, now fully agitated, paces the room. "I need you to talk to me, Lovette. I can't handle finding out about your struggles from someone else. It hurts and it's embarrassing."

She stands, a fire in her eyes. "You want me to talk? Fine. I was crying because it felt like we were falling apart. You're in L.A., and I'm here. Our calls are getting shorter, and sometimes you don't even respond. I needed you, but you're so caught up in your new life that you didn't notice."

"I don't want to feel like I'm just a fan of yours," Lovette voices the concerns that have been lingering in her heart. The admission is raw and vulnerable, laying bare the apprehensions she's harboured. "I don't want to be getting life updates from a vlog, Chris."

Chris absorbs her words, each one a carefully aimed arrow that pierces through his defences. The room becomes a battleground of emotions as their frustrations collide. Lovette's words linger in the air, a stark reminder of the growing emotional chasm between them.

Chris, torn between hurt and defensiveness, retorts, "I'm trying to make things work here, Lovette. The move to L.A. wasn't easy for me either. I thought we understood that this was a challenge, but it's like you're blaming me for everything."

Lovette's jaw tightens. "Jesus Christ, I'm not blaming you for everything, Chris!"

"Do you know how dismissive and invalidating that is?" Chris counters, frustration etched on his face. "You can't just tell me my feelings are wrong."

"I'm not trying to!" Lovette fires back, her voice rising in frustration. The room becomes a crucible of conflicting emotions, their words sharp and cutting, each feeling misunderstood and unheard.

Chris paces, a ball of frustration in his chest. "I want us to work, but it's hard when I feel like you're not seeing how challenging this is for me too. You're not the only one making sacrifices here."

Lovette, equally agitated, retorts, "I never said I was! But every time I try to talk about how I feel, it's like you brush it off. I can't keep pretending everything is fine when it's not."

The intensity in the room escalates, and both of them are caught in the whirlwind of emotions. Lovette, hurt and vulnerable, meets Chris's gaze. "I love you, Chris, but I can't keep feeling like I'm the only one fighting for 'us.'"

Chris, grappling with the weight of Lovette's words, tries to find common ground. "I'm sorry if I've made you feel that way. I just need you to understand that I'm doing my best here. This isn't easy for me either."

Lovette, tears welling in her eyes, softens. "Chris, I know it's hard for you too. I just want us to be okay."

Chris, grappling with the weight of Lovette's words, tries to find common ground. "I want that too, but I just need you to understand that I'm doing my best here. This isn't easy for me either. Look, maybe we're both stressed. It's a big change, and we're adjusting in our own ways."

Lovette met his gaze, her expression a mix of weariness and resignation. "Yeah, maybe."

"Let's just take a step back, okay?" Chris suggested, reaching out to gently cup her face. "We love each other. We can figure this out."

A fragile peace settled over them. Lovette nodded, and Chris pressed a tender kiss to her lips, a silent promise of understanding.

"How long are you in Massachusetts for?" Lovette asked, enjoying the feeling of his hand on her face.

Chris uses his thumb to swipe at her cheeks, "A week."

He notices that she remains silent, instead moving to hug him instead. Chris felt the comfort of Lovette's embrace, the warmth of her presence momentarily pushing away the chaos that lurked beneath the surface. As they held each other, he relished in the serenity of the moment, like finding shelter in the eye of a storm.

Yet, beneath the calm exterior, an insidious shadow whispered through his mind. It was like a distant storm cloud on a sunny day, casting a subtle gloom over his tranquillity. The feeling crept in, a quiet undercurrent threatening to pull him into the depths of uncertainty.

It was as if he stood on the edge of a vast ocean, the waves of doubt and inadequacy lapping at the shores of his consciousness. The weight of being the boyfriend he thought Lovette deserved felt like an anchor, and, despite the outward appearance of calm waters, a storm brewed within him. As he pressed into the hug, he couldn't help but feel that he was navigating treacherous terrain, trying to keep the ship afloat in the face of an approaching storm.

The sinking feeling persisted, subtle yet undeniable, leaving Chris to grapple with the fear that he was failing at being the partner Lovette needed.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:
such a short chapter i apologize

please please comment ur thoughts i love hearing what you guys think

i hope you liked this chapter!

until next time<3!