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IRL AND INSTAGRAM!
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↳ ❝HAVE YOU EVER
BEEN IN LOVE?❞

The day had dawned, marked by a sense of apprehension that settled heavily in Chris's chest. Today was the day, the one he had been both looking forward to and dreading. The long-awaited visit from Lovette's friends had finally arrived, and 'nervous' didn't even begin to encapsulate the emotions swirling within him. He had spent nights rehearsing conversations in his mind, going over potential scenarios until exhaustion pulled him into an uneasy sleep.

Yes, Lovette had provided him with details about her friends, insights into their personalities that should have calmed his nerves. He had absorbed her descriptions with a mix of genuine interest and an almost pathological need to please. He had tried his best to internalize the information Lovette had given him, each tidbit of their preferences and quirks etching into his memory like lines of code in a program.

Her friends were staying for almost two weeks, an elongated stretch of time that felt both daunting and promising. He desperately wanted to make a good impression, to blend seamlessly into their group, to not be the odd piece out. He had mentally recited jokes, amusing anecdotes, and a repertoire of interesting stories, hoping to weave himself into their conversations with ease.

Yet, as he stood in Lovette's foyer, the faint echo of boisterous voices carrying from her living room, his stomach felt like a pit of writhing snakes. The confident façade he often presented to the world was cracking at the edges, revealing the raw vulnerability he rarely let others see. Each laugh and animated chatter from the other room sent a spike of anxiety through him, making his heart race like a runaway train.

Sensing his tension, Lovette's hand found his, her fingers interlocking with his own. Her touch was a lifeline, grounding him in the reality of the moment. "They're gonna like you. Cause I like you," she whispered, her words a soothing balm to his frayed nerves.

He wished he could believe her without reservation, to trust her judgment implicitly, but the tendrils of doubt had already taken root.

As her reassurance washed over him, he fought to keep his insecurities in check. Lovette's unwavering support was something he clung to, her presence a beacon of light in the storm of his self-doubt. He had never felt so vulnerable, so exposed to the possibility of rejection, and it was a sensation that unsettled him to his core.

He managed a tight smile in response to Lovette's assurance, his fingers tightening around hers as he sought solace in her touch. In her presence, he felt a semblance of calm, a respite from the storm that raged within him. He knew he couldn't predict the outcome of this encounter, couldn't control the perceptions of others. But he could hold onto the fact that Lovette believed in him, that she saw something worth cherishing.

As they approached the living room, the sounds of laughter growing louder, Chris's grip on Lovette's hand remained firm. The challenge ahead was daunting, and the weight of his insecurities threatened to drag him under. But for Lovette's sake, and for the chance of forging a connection with the people she held dear, he was willing to face the tempest within and put his vulnerabilities on display.

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The evening sun painted the room with warm hues as laughter filled the air. Lovette's living room was alive with the chatter of friends. Chris took note of the distinct personalities of Lovette and Levi's friends. Imani, with her infectious laughter, exuded warmth, while Eli's expressive sign language painted the air with an energy that needed no sound. Imani's animated stories often prompted lively discussions, which Eli followed with a keen interest. His hands moved gracefully, weaving a tapestry of silent gestures that danced in the air. Each member of the group seemed attuned to these visual conversations, their own hands occasionally joining the symphony of communication that flowed in a language understood by all: American Sign Language (ASL).

Amidst this exchange, Chris watched with a mix of fascination and determination. He had taken it upon himself to learn ASL before this gathering, recognizing the significance of making a genuine connection with Lovette's friends. He had spent hours practicing the signs, driven by a desire to bridge the gap and immerse himself in their world of communication.

As Eli and Imani exchanged a particularly spirited conversation (with the occasional interjection by Levi), Chris's eyes flickered between their hands, gradually discerning the words and expressions woven within their movements. While his grasp of ASL was far from perfect, his commitment to understanding and connecting was undeniable.

When Lovette noticed his gaze shifting between Eli and Imani, she moved closer to him, her voice softening as she leaned in. "Everyone here knows ASL because of him."

Chris nodded, his eyes reflecting his respect for Eli's presence and the shared language that bound this close-knit circle. "I've been learning some ASL too, just to communicate better," he admitted, his voice carrying a touch of humility.

A warm smile graced Lovette's lips as she reached for his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "That's amazing, Chris. Eli will appreciate it."

While he had already spoken to Eli, their conversations had been verbal, thanks to Eli's cochlear implant. Despite that, Chris found Eli easy to talk to and was struck by his sense of humour.

Deciding to break away for a moment, Chris sighed and turned to Lovette. "I'm going to grab a Pepsi from the kitchen."

She nodded, giving him a smile before immersing herself in the conversation among Imani, Eli, and Levi. Chris observed her fondly before making his way to the kitchen. The knot of nervousness in his stomach seemed to loosen as he stepped inside. However, the atmosphere he encountered wasn't as tranquil as he had hoped.

In a corner, Mateo and Layla were engaged in a hushed conversation. As Chris entered, he felt an undercurrent of tension, the atmosphere fraught with subtle signals and unspoken dynamics. Conversations paused, glances were exchanged, and he felt the weight of scrutiny even as Mateo appeared welcoming.

He couldn't shake the feeling that he had walked into a situation, especially with Layla's intense brow and the hint of frustration flashing across her face. Meanwhile, Mateo seemed to visibly relax at the sight of Chris, quickly excusing himself from his conversation with Layla.

Mateo leaned against the kitchen island, focusing his brown eyes on Chris. "You good?"

Lovette had mentioned that Mateo was her figure skating partner for years, but Chris hadn't yet had a one-on-one conversation with him. "Yeah, just getting a drink," Chris replied.

The tranquillity of the moment was short-lived as Mateo's phone rang, causing him to step away. Suddenly, Chris found himself alone in the kitchen with Layla. Although Lovette's friends had been friendly, there was an unspoken chill in Layla's demeanour.

While her tone remained courteous, her eyes rarely met his, and her conversations with him seemed forced and strained. Each encounter left Chris puzzled, a silent question lingering on his lips. Chris's inner monologue swirled with uncertainty. Was he reading too much into it? Were Layla's feelings genuine or imagined? He grappled with his need to fit in while fearing that his presence was causing unease among Lovette's friend group.

Mateo's absence left Chris somewhat vulnerable. "Where did Mateo go?" he asked Layla, trying to bridge the awkwardness.

Her response was curt, her eyes avoiding his gaze. "He's taking a call from his mom."

An awkward silence settled between them, made more pointed by Layla's British accent, each word carrying an unintentional edge. Layla stood by the counter, her arms crossed, and her gaze bore into him like a laser. Her lips curled into a tight smile that barely masked the resentment simmering beneath the surface.

He hesitated, the tension palpable as he grabbed a soda from the fridge. The awkward silence weighed on him, like a storm brewing on the horizon.

His lips tightened, the heavy silence pressing down on him like a weight. He could feel the heat creeping up his neck, his heart hammering in his chest. The room seemed to shrink around him, and he struggled to maintain his composure. He placed his drink on the counter, his unease growing. "So, how did you meet Lovette and Levi?"

He had hoped steering the conversation toward her might ease the tension. After all, people usually enjoy talking about themselves.

Layla's gaze bore into him, her eyes narrowing as if sizing him up. She leaned forward slightly, her body language clearly confrontational. "School. Met them in 8th grade," she replied tersely, her fingers tapping rhythmically on the countertop.

Chris's shoulders tensed. He felt like he was walking on thin ice, unsure of what had triggered Layla's hostility. He decided to probe further, hoping to diffuse the situation. "What did you guys do together?"

Her response was cutting, and her eyes remained locked on his, a challenge in every word. "We didn't film ourselves doing stupid shit for the internet."

Chris clenched his jaw, struggling to maintain his composure. The room seemed to close in around him, and he could feel the weight of Layla's scrutiny pressing down on him.

The tension between them escalated, each word exchanged adding fuel to the fire. Chris had to fight to choose his words carefully, but Layla's relentless barrage left him feeling defenseless.

In the confines of the kitchen, Layla's arms crossed as she spoke with a blunt honesty that made him feel like he was in the hot seat. "I don't think you're the right fit for Lovette."

Her words hit him like an unexpected blow. Her frankness caught him off guard, especially given her prior reluctance to speak to him. Suddenly, insecurity crept in, gnawing at his confidence.

"Excuse me?" he questioned, still trying to wrap his head around her comment.

She disregarded his reaction, her gaze challenging. "You don't even really know her. Or bloody deserve her for that matter."

The statement stung, igniting a spark of anger within him. He widened his eyes at her candidness, wrestling with his rising emotions. "And who does?"

The way she responded signalled that she had someone in mind. "Pretty much anyone else but some Youtuber."

Rage simmered beneath the surface, and Chris fought to choose his words carefully. Maintaining his composure was crucial; he didn't want to create a scene, especially with Lovette's friend. Yet, Layla's tone dripped with condescension, scraping at his patience.

He began, trying to keep his voice steady, "I'm not sure who you think you're talking to, but—"

Layla scoffed, cutting him off with an exasperated gesture, her eyes never leaving his. "Lovette was in California a couple of weeks ago, right? You even know why? Did she bother to tell you? Did you even ask?"

Chris's mouth snapped shut. Her words struck a nerve, making him question his own ignorance. He had never pressed Lovette for details about her trip, taking her words at face value.

Shaking her head in disdain, Layla turned to leave the kitchen, her body language exuding a finality that left Chris reeling. "Exactly. You don't really know her. And from where I stand, she doesn't really trust you either."

Chris felt the weight of Layla's words like an anchor around his neck. He watched her walk away, her words echoing in his mind. The kitchen seemed to close in around him, and he swallowed hard, struggling to find his voice. Doubt clouded his mind as he thought about his relationship with Lovette. Had he been blind to her feelings? Was there a chasm of trust he hadn't noticed?

His stomach churned, a maelstrom of emotions swirling within him. He wanted to confront Layla, to defend himself and his connection with Lovette. But he couldn't ignore the creeping self-doubt that had been triggered by her words.

He had always prided himself on his laid-back attitude, on being someone who could easily connect with others. But this encounter had thrown him off balance, revealing the cracks in his confidence.

Is she keeping something from me? The question gnawed at his thoughts. Is there a part of her life that she's not sharing?

He thought about Lovette, about their moments together, the shared laughter, the stolen glances. He had believed that they were building something real, something based on understanding and affection.

Do I really know her? Chris questioned himself. Do I understand her as well as I thought?

The weight of his insecurities pressed down on him, and he found himself grappling with a surge of vulnerability he hadn't anticipated. As much as he wanted to shake off Layla's words, they had planted a seed of uncertainty that now threatened to bloom into full-blown doubt.

What if I'm not the right person for her? What if she doesn't trust me?

When he made his way back to Lovette, who was unaware of the conversation that had transpired, Chris forced a smile onto his face. He wanted to appear unaffected, to reassure her and to keep the peace. But beneath that mask, a storm of emotions raged, leaving him grappling with his own insecurities and the nagging fear that Layla's words might hold more truth than he was willing to admit.

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Lovette quietly navigated the corridors of her spacious house, a final round of goodnight wishes to each of her friends. With enough rooms to accommodate them all, Levi and she were fortunate to have this comfortable space. While she had already exchanged pleasantries with everyone, there was one person left on her list: Eli. She pushed his door open slightly, just enough for her fingers to reach in and tap the light switch off and on, casting a soft glow across the room to signal her presence.

Inside, Eli was sitting on his bed, engrossed in his phone. As she entered, he looked up, a warm smile spreading across his face.

"Hey," she signed to him, her hands moving gracefully, "just wanted to wish you goodnight."

He responded swiftly with his own signs, his hands moving with practiced fluidity. "Chris left?"

"Yeah, he just headed out," she signed back, sighing slightly.

A mischievous grin tugged at Eli's lips as his fingers formed the signs for, "You love him."

She couldn't help but laugh at his teasing, her own hands forming the signs for, "How do you even know that?"

"I'm deaf, not blind," he signed with a smirk.

Her laughter rang through the room as she playfully signed, "Fuck you."

Eli chuckled, their unspoken conversations always carrying a sense of familiarity that was unique to them. Despite his lack of hearing, he had an ability to read people, to sense emotions beneath the surface.

It was moments like these that Lovette cherished, the ability to communicate with Eli in their own silent language. While words weren't spoken aloud, the connection between them was stronger than ever.

Lovette settled in a nearby chair, her hands forming graceful motions. "Have you ever been in love?"

Eli leaned back on the bed as he signed, "Once or twice."

A pause followed, an unspoken query lingering in his gaze as he signed, "Why are you asking?"

Lovette's heart dipped a little at the question, her fingers faltering for a moment before she regained her composure. "Just wondering," she signed back, her expression carefully neutral.

It was a weak attempt, and they both knew it. They had been friends for years, and her attempts at hiding her emotions rarely succeeded with him.

He raised an eyebrow, a faint furrow marring his brow as he signed, "Is it Chris?"

The directness of his question caught her off guard, her fingers hesitating in the midst of forming a response. She debated deflecting, sidestepping the issue as she often did. But with Eli, evasion was an exercise in futility.

With a sigh, Lovette nodded, her fingers forming the signs with a touch of resignation, "I like him more than he likes me."

Eli's gaze held a mixture of understanding and concern as he watched her. He waited, patient as ever, giving her space to voice the turmoil that was undoubtedly swirling within her.

Leaning back against the chair, Lovette tried to find the right words to convey her internal struggle. "It's just... I've been cheated on before," her fingers moved with a hint of vulnerability, "and it's made me question whether I'm just seeing things that aren't there. Sometimes, I feel like I'm investing more in this... in us, than he is."

Eli's gaze never wavered, his understanding evident in his eyes. He was a silent pillar of support, giving her the space to share her thoughts without judgment.

She looked down at her hands, a trace of sadness in her eyes. "It's like I'm afraid to be the one who cares more, who puts in more effort. Because that's when you become vulnerable, right?"

Eli's response was gentle, his signs filled with empathy, "But vulnerability isn't a weakness, Lovette. It's a sign of courage."

She offered a small smile, grateful for his understanding. "You always know what to say."

Eli's hands danced in the air with a playful flourish, "Years of practice."

Eli's words lingered in the air, a balm to her anxieties. Yet, despite his reassurance, Lovette couldn't entirely shake off the tendrils of insecurity that had taken root within her. She wished she could muster the courage to voice those lingering doubts, to seek validation and understanding. But some battles were fought in the quiet corners of her mind, and for now, she chose to keep this one there.

As the conversation naturally dwindled, Eli's warm smile met hers. He signed his farewell, "Goodnight, Lovette."

"Goodnight, Eli," she signed back, her fingers moving with a mixture of gratitude and fondness.

With one last shared smile, Lovette turned to leave his room, the door closing softly behind her. The hallway was dimly lit, the house settling into the hush of the night. As she walked away, her thoughts remained a swirl of conflicting emotions. She wanted to believe in the budding connection she shared with Chris, to trust in the sincerity of his feelings. But past wounds had left their mark, and healing was a process that took time.

@LOVETTEJARMON JUST POSTED!

tagged: mateomartinez

tagged:elijah_jackson

tagged: laylarose

tagged: imani.brown

tagged: levijarmon
liked by imani.brown, laylarose, and elijah_jackson
lovettejarmon: gangs all here :)

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imani.brown: MISSED YOU LIKE CRAZY
╰─▸ lovettejarmon: STOP I MISSED U WAY MORE
     ╰─▸ imani.brown: that's not possible 😭

laylarose: i <3 karaoke nights
╰─▸ elijah_jackson: you sound like a dying cat
     ╰─▸ laylarose: you sounded worse 😐
            ╰─▸elijah_jackson: I'm the second coming of beyonce wdym??

mateomartinez: i look so delectable
╰─▸ lovettejarmon: 😭

levijarmon: of course you pick the one with my eyes closed
╰─▸ lovettejarmon: 🤭

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

sooooo.. how do we feel

layla is definitely more of an elitist when it comes to certain things if you can't tell (you'll see that later on)

i hope u liked it cause its gonna get more angsty

until next time <3!