There are alot of things you don't know about me. My life is pretty good, I just have some of those bumps in the road we all come across at some point in life. Sometimes I don't get life. I don't understand why people have to be so rotten all the time towards others, just because they're different, or for no reason at all. I've been called names, pushed, mentally hurt, and treated with disrespect many times; even when they don't mean it. Some people may or may not know this, but I am one of the most sensitive people you can meet. I may not always show or voice that I was hurt, but it does happen. You could say the smallest thing to me, like "You have a pimple on your chin" or "There is a hole in your shirt", and I could get offended or start to feel anxious and insecure. That will change my mood to a sour one for the rest of the day. And the worst part is; I know they weren't trying to hurt my feelings, they were just pointing a flaw out to me and letting me know. The one problem I have with that, is that pointing out a flaw to me like that will make me aware--if not further aware of it. I start to get self-conscious about myself or my body, and my mind goes dark. I start to think about every flaw I have, and it weighs me down like a huge stone on my back. I wish I could cry at the moment, but I refrain in fear of judgement. The smallest things could get to me, and I don't know how to block it out yet.
School also stresses me out. I have nothing but school on Monday, Tuesday I have Spanish Club, Wednesday I have Beta Club, Thursday I have nothing, and Friday I have Choir practice. I also have hula practice on Friday night, so I always get home late. I also used to play softball every day, but things got so chaotic that I almost broke down and had to quit softball (after finishing my season of coarse). It was the HARDEST decision I've yet to make, and it hurt to leave the one thing that kept me healthy and physically active. I got supper sad. School never helped at all because the expectations I set for myself, along with the school work, advanced 8 grade math in 7 grade, after school, solo and ensemble, home, grades, my future, and whatever else was left of my social life. My sanity couldn't take it anymore. I know this may sound very little to you, but trust me when I say, it feels like too much in my shoes. In my shoes, I can't see the light clearly. It seemed like I'll never be happy. It seemed like everything is going down hill. I can't help but feel like a failure.
   
                                         Love,
                                              (@zion2417)