Jack excitedly straightened up and turned away to snatch a binder off the bedside table. Laying it across the bed, Jack began to say aloud. "What are you in the mood for? Something from the hotel or do you want to have something delivered from a local restaurant?" Mark propped his head up with his hand more comfortably, watching Jack flip through the laminated papers to find the right pages. Smiling just a little, Mark honestly told him. "I don't care. Whatever you want." Jack rolled his eyes, mumbling out. "That's not helpful. I want something we both will enjoy." Reaching out, Mark tapped Jack's arm with the back of his finger. Jack glanced at his arm, looking up to see Mark's cool expression. Staring at him for a moment, Jack asked him a little uneasy. "Mark? What's with the-?" Mark dropped the hand propping up his head to push himself up. Cupping Jack's cheek, he gently pressed his lips to Jack's. Jack made a soft startled sound but returned the kiss. Mark kept the kiss brief. Pulling away shortly after to calm his racing heart. Jack leaned in for more, but Mark turned his head slightly to keep his lips away.

Jack pressed his forehead to Mark's, asking in a soft whisper. "Mark? Something wrong?" Mark leaned into Jack, replying under his breath. "No. I just... It's weird being alone like this. I'm... I'm worried about the kids." Jack leaned back, clearly a little upset with his answer as he told him shortly. "They're fine, Mark. Let yourself relax." Mark looked back at Jack, telling him honestly. "I'm trying. But they've depended on me for so long... It's like I've been reset to 'daddy mode' and I... I don't know how to behave without them around." Jack's bright blue eyes met his, whispering to him lovingly. "Can't you remember the fun we used to have together?" Mark sat up more to lean back against the headboard as he answered a bit bluntly. "Of course, I remember. But I'm not that young kid anymore... I can't be reckless. I have to change to set a good example for the kids. Their first few years are crucial to setting up their behaviors and habits. And you know I'm the king of bad habits..."

Jack rolled his eyes, saying under his own breath as he began to look over the binder again. "Mark, you are not that bad. Your only enemy is the pressure YOU put on yourself. You're always running around and forcing yourself to do more than the year before. It's ok to relax every once in a while." Mark tilted his head back, saying a bit gruffly. "I just want to do all that I can... before..." Mark drifted off as his dad came to mind. Loosing his dad had been so sudden. Jack looked at him, causing Mark to fling the covers off his legs to turn away. Leaning forward, he ran his hands through his hair to calm himself down. He was so emotionally unstable lately. Jack put a hand on his back, asking him in a gentle voice. "Before what? Mark, are you not telling me something?" Pushing off the bed, Mark stormed off to the bathroom, but told him in a collected tone. "No. I'm fine. Just order pizza." Mark slipped into the bathroom and shut the door. His hand hovered over the lock, but he curled his fingers back from it.

Going to the sink, Mark leaned over it to splash his face. Taking deep breaths, he gripped the edges of the sink and wondered if he was going to throw up. There was a soft click behind him, and he looked up into the mirror to see Jack slowly inching inside. Sniffling, Mark grabbed a red hand towel to dry his face as he mumbled out. "You don't need to worry about me." Jack leaned back against the doorframe, telling him in a loving voice. "I've never seen you like this, Mark. So yes... I'm worried." Mark tossed the towel on the counter, slowly turning around to face him. Leaning his hips back on the counter, he grabbed the edges of the sink and told him without looking at him. "I think I'm still tired." Jack stepped up closer, putting his hands on Mark's chest to say in a soothing voice. "Mark, what is it going to take for you to open up to me?" Mark raised a hand to lift Jack's chin a bit more, whispering over his lips softly. "It's just been a stressful year. I'm sorry." Jack kissed Mark, then pulled away to tell him firmly. "Fill the tub. I'll help you relax." Mark nodded, obediently.

Jack backed up, then began to leave the bathroom. Mark stepped up beside the tub, asking him curiously. "Where are you going?" Jack glanced back with a smirk, sarcastically piping out. "I'm going to order us some pizza." Mark sat down on the edge of the tub and chuckled lightly to himself. Starting to turn on the water, Mark shot back over the noise. "Make mine a meat lovers and don't you dare get pineapple anywhere near mine!" From the other room, Jack stated out with fake innocence. "What?! Sorry, I can't hear you!" Rolling his eyes, Mark grumbled out to himself. "You and your fucking sweet tooth..." As the tub filled, Mark stayed by it. It took a few minutes to fill with how big the tub was, but he entertained himself by grazing his fingers across the clear surface. When it was halfway, Jack entered to hand him a blue bottle. Mark accepted it and read it aloud before Jack left. "Johnson's baby bubble bath? Why do you have this? Did you take it from the baby bag that you were supposed to leave with my mother?"

Jack stopped in the doorway, chuckling back. "I did. And it's because your mom already had a morning and bedtime version that she likes better." Mark rolled his eyes, grumbling out. "Of course, she does." Popping off the lid, Mark poured the contents under the faucet, grumbling out lightly. "She's never given me a bubble bath in her life... It's not fair." Jack snorted, trotting back in to kiss his cheek before whispering to him sweetly. "Oh, stop bitching. I'll give you one." Mark pouted, starting to say. "That's not the point. My mother-" Someone knocked on the door, causing Jack to hold up a finger at him, before rushing out to answer it. Mark spread the bubbles around the tub, asking aloud after he heard the door close. "Are we going to bathe before or after we eat? Because I prefer my pizza hot." When Mark didn't get an answer, he scooted down the edge of the tub a bit to glance out of the open door. Outside, he saw a hotel tray with a pizza box and some fancy looking covered plates. Getting up, he moved to the bathroom door. Jumping back a bit as Jack stepped out from the side, he found himself looking him over.

Jack was a little out of breath and had clearly changed his clothes. He'd been wearing pajamas one minute and now he was in a fuzzy red robe. Mark reached out to pull the front out a bit, chuckling to see Jack was shirtless beneath it. Swatting his hand away, Jack held up two wine glasses, and panted out to him. "Thirsty?" Mark's eyes trailed down to Jack's bare legs, before asking him with a chuckle. "Wardrobe malfunction? Or... something else?" Jack blushed, backing up to grab the bottle of pink champagne off the bedside table. Taking a deep breath, Jack calmly mumbled out shyly. "Something else... I mean, we were going to bathe together, right? I can't do that with my clothes on. And... I thought maybe you'd relax if I... did things a little... different." Lowering his eyes to the floor, Jack mumbled out. "Do you not like it?" Mark reached out to grab the belt of his robe, pulling him closer as he purred out to him in a deep voice. "I love it." Jack blushed more, leaning against him to rest his cheek against his shoulder. Hugging him, Mark told him sweetly. "Go ahead and pour me a glass."

Pulling away, Mark went over to the pizza box and lifted the lid. Seeing that half was meat lover and half was pineapple, he rolled his eyes. Behind him, Jack chuckled and told him swiftly. "Don't give me that shite. I got what you wanted." Mark smirked, reaching to lift the lid off a silver tray, but Jack rushed over to stop him. Pushing the lid down, Jack blushed out. "That's for later. No peeking. Here." Mark accepted the wine glass, narrowing his eyes on Jack. Jack flashed him a grin, then gestured for him to move away from the cart. Swiping a slice of pizza, Mark began to eat as he walked back to the bathroom. Jack lingered by the bathroom door, softly mumbling out. "Get in when you're ready." Mark finished his slice of pizza. Then downed his drink before saying through a chuckle. "You really believe this will help me relax?" Jack nodded, inching closer as he said sweetly. "Ya, I do. When was the last time you just... sat in the water?" Mark shrugged, answering as he put the glass down on the tub edge. "I don't remember. A while."

Jack set his glass down by Mark's, before sliding his hands around Mark's waist. Kissing the back of his shoulder, Jack whispered against his skin. "Exactly." Mark closed his eyes, putting his hands over Jack's to stroke them. He loved when Jack snuggled against him. It made him feel loved and wanted. Jack's hands drifted down to grab the hem of his underwear, tentatively sliding the hem off his hips. Grabbing Jack's wrists in a light grip, he asked him curiously. "Why are you so nervous?" Against his shoulder, Jack mumbled out a bit coy. "I just... I don't know if this is what you want." Mark smirked, pushing Jack's hands down to finish pushing his underwear down. Jack released them, stepping back to let Mark step out of them on his own. Tossing them aside, Mark grabbing the safety bar and stepped carefully into the tub. The water was hot, but he liked it. Easing himself in, he played with the bubbles and asked Jack with a smile. "Are you going to join me?" Jack licked his lips, moving to sit on the edge, when he told him sweetly. "In a bit. Turn away from me."

Mark crossed his legs, turning to put his back to Jack. Jack's hands dipped into the water on either side of him, scooping up some soapy water to drizzle over his back and shoulders. Mark moaned a bit. He had not realized how tense his shoulders were until the hot water hit them. Jack's soft hands grabbed his shoulders, his thumbs rubbing circles along his spine, while his fingers light kneaded his muscles. Flexing his shoulders, Mark moaned out pleasantly. "Where did you learn to do that?" Jack chuckled, telling him honestly. "From you. You've done it to me enough that... I picked it up a little. If I'm doing it wrong, don't be afraid to tell me..." Mark leaned back more, purring out. "It's good." Jack continued to rub his back for a bit, until Mark felt his tension melt away. Taking one of Jack's wrists to stop him, Mark glanced back and beckoned him with his free hand. When Jack leaned over his shoulder, Mark cupped his cheek and kissed him more passionately. Taking his time to savor the kiss, he let Jack tell him when he wanted to stop.

The kiss lasted long enough that when Jack was forced to pull away to breathe, Jack grinned brightly. Running his hand through Jack's hair, Mark whispered to him lovingly. "I'm sorry that I've been so distant lately. You're right... I should be able to talk to you. But I'm afraid of why I'm thinking like this in the first place..." Jack rubbed Mark's chest to sooth him, gently prodding in a wispy whisper. "I'm listening." Mark inhaled slowly to collect himself, then answered honestly. "The reason I can't seem to slow down and why I'm so... lost. Is because taking care of the kids... reminds me of my dad." Mark sniffled, tilting his head back a bit to try to keep the tears from falling. When he swallowed down the knot building in his throat, he told him shakily. "It reminds me of how young I was when I lost him. And... with how many times I've been to the hospital... I worry that... I won't see them grow up. I worry that I'm not doing enough... That I'm not the father he was." Unable to hold it back anymore, Mark leaned forward and began to cry.

Jack wrapped his arms around his neck, hugging him as he said seriously. "Oh, Mark... Why are you trying to fill someone else's shoes?" Mark sniffled, shifting his legs up to hug them as he told him a bit choked up. "I can't help it. There is so much of my life that he has missed... So, much that I never got to tell him. Things I'll never be able to ask him..." Shuffling his feet a bit, Mark strained out. "I miss him... and knowing he's never going to see them or you... I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Everything hurts... and I don't understand it. I lost him years ago... but it feels like I just lost him." Jack stripped off his robe, setting it down on the edge of the tub as he slid in with him. Hugging him close, Jack ran his fingers through his hair and warmly comforted him by saying gently. "I never should have left you to do this on your own... I didn't... I think that this ripped open an old wound." Mark leaned into Jack more, choking out. "But this wound healed a long time ago."

Jack shook his head, kissing Mark's forehead as he said gently. "Parts of it healed... but you've always said that you avoided it for a long time too. You were young. You didn't think about... how his loss would affect you at this stage in your life." Mark buried his face in Jack's shoulder to cry. Jack rubbed his back, telling him warmly. "Oh, Mark... Why didn't you just tell me this?" Mark clung to Jack, unable to answer. In his mind, he answered that he didn't want to burden him with this. He needed Jack's child like warmth and light to chase the cold shadows of his mind away. He had always been strong enough to keep his own demons at bay... but this one he just wasn't strong enough to face alone. Jack kissed his neck, shushing him as he rubbed his back. The longer Jack held him, the more he felt safe. Slowly his walls were building back up, while Jack told him wholeheartedly. "I think you need to talk to your mom about him." Mark sat back, asking him with teary eyes. "Why?"

Jack cupped his face, telling him openly. "Mark, you see your father as this super dad. Those are shoes you will never be able to fill. It's just not humanly possible. I love you, Mark. But you are like a racehorse that pushes itself harder and harder until its heart gives out before the finish line. There is no point in being the best... if you don't enjoy the journey to get there. At this rate... If no one pulls you back... You're never going to stop... and I'm afraid that I'm not strong enough to pull your reins back. The answers you're looking for... only your mom has." Mark stared deep into Jack's eyes, feeling like he was right. However, Jack had been more help than he gave himself credit for. His damn persistence to wear him down was no easy task. He only felt stronger because Jack had a strange way of shoving the burdens off his stubborn ass. Cupping Jack's face, Mark pressed his lips to Jack's and kissed him with all the love he possessed. He wanted Jack to feel his desire from the tips of his fingers to the tenderness of his lips.

Jack moaned longingly into his kiss, prompting him to adjust quickly. Stretching his legs out, Mark grabbed Jack's waist and pulled him over his lap without breaking their kiss. His heart was starting to race as his hands moved up Jack's back to claw at his shoulders to keep him close. Jack leaned against him, continuing to kiss him as he hummed into their kiss. Breaking their kiss, Mark purred against Jack's ear. "Let's make love. I want you." Jack panted, chuckling out happily. "I want you too. Oh Mark, I-" Jack leaned back to look him in the eyes and his smile instantly faded as he stopped talking. Blinking, Jack suddenly jerked to look behind himself as he snapped out. "Oh shite!" Mark leaned forward to kiss Jack's chest, asking with a teasing chuckle. "What? Done already?" Jack looked back at him, blushing out. "What? No! I... Mark, look!" Mark briefly looked at the tinted color of bubbles in the corner but brushed it off. Going back to wrapping his arms around Jack, he purred out by his neck. "What? I don't see anything. Come on. Scoot your hips closer."

Jack began to push away from him as he blurted out in a frantic panic. "No! Mark, I screwed up. I put the bathbomb in the pocket of my robe! And it fell out!" To Be Continued...