Mark had never worked harder in his life. Balancing Youtube and being a father was stressful and exhausting... but he did it. He guessed that we got a solid three hours of sleep at most. He'd wake up at six am to Sally crying for her breakfast. Forcing him to get up and make her formula. He'd warm it and test the liquid on his arm before feeding her, just like the books his mother gave him told him to do. He'd get her calmed down and happy by eight am. Which allowed him to put her in her baby pen in his office. He always tried to record videos, but his schedule had taken a hard hit in the last few months. Sally was sometimes so fussy in the daytime that he just couldn't concentrate. He hadn't told his fans about having kids, because part of him wanted them to grow up without the pressure of fame. So, he just played off how tired and busy he was with other projects. It was easier on him. His mother was against this decision, but he wasn't just thinking about himself. He needed Jack's opinion on this stuff too. However, he couldn't answer most of Jack's texts and voice chat calls. He was just too busy.

He even had to slip in time to play with Chica and his newest rescue dog, Henry. He'd have to wake Barry up by noon and again at Dinner to feed him with Sally. Then try his best to put them both back to sleep. Sally was great with sleeping at night... Barry was a nightmare. Barry woke up every hour. He shit more and ate more than his damn dogs put together. By the time he'd get Barry back down, it was three in the morning. Then at six, like clockwork... Sally was up and ready for the day. Everyday, Mark grew more and more tired. He soon started taking a nap as often as the babies just to recover. With his mom back home, he was on his own and doing as much as he could. By the end of the year, Jack began pressuring him to come visit him in Ireland like they had promised, but Mark just didn't have the energy. He couldn't imagine trying to get on a twelve-hour flight with two babies on different schedules. That wasn't counting finding a place to take care of two dogs for that long. Trying to explain that to Jack always gave him a headache.

Jack would burst into tears and start to tell him how he was feeling depressed... but Mark usually passed out before he got the full story. Which only made him angrier. He felt stretched so thin that he just couldn't handle anymore stress. Once or twice, he cried to his own mom about how he didn't understand how she did it all. She comforted him and kept offering to come over... but he'd turn her down. He felt like he should be able to do this on his own. Just as he was starting to adapt a tiny bit better to the schedule, Jack broke down and released a video that he needed to take a month off. Mark stopped washing dishes as a text came through on his phone shortly after he got the notification on his iPad about the video. Drying off his hands, he stopped the soft music on his iPad and checked the text. In an instant, he was both excited and devastated. Jack was coming to visit him. He wanted to see Jack... but he just didn't think he could balance him and everything else too. He had enough on his plate already. To have Jack here only meant giving more attention to someone else or getting yelled at for it. He just couldn't catch a fucking break.

While in Ireland, Jack was having problems of his own. The whole flight back to Ireland, Jack had felt different. For a few weeks, he brushed off the feelings and took his time to heal and take things easy. His schedule had been the same, but his passion was fading. His heart was elsewhere. Then the nightmares started. Every night, he dreamed that something had happened to his babies and tried to call Mark to see how they were... but he never answered. Pacing the house, he'd keep trying until Mark would tell him they were fine with a fucking two word text. He'd ask to see them, but Mark was always too tired. Or he had just put them down. Whenever Mark brushed him off, Jack found himself crying. He couldn't explain why half the time. He felt sad and alone. He was starting to worry so much that sometimes he forgot to eat. As the days went on, he found it harder to do anything. He'd just sit snuggled under a blanket on the couch and cry silently in the silence. He didn't know what was wrong with him.

Anytime he tried to talk about it with Mark... Mark would fall asleep in the middle of their voice chat or just wouldn't get back to his text for days. The nightmares grew frequent and so did his restlessness. He was flipping through emotions like a strobe light. Some days he was so angry at Mark that he threw stuff around until he collapsed into tears. Other times, he was so depressed that he couldn't get up. Then there were the extremely rare days, where he'd start laughing at something sad and wouldn't be able to stop until he was back to crying. He felt like he was going crazy. Was this a side effect to all the potions in his system? He was scared and didn't know what to do. One morning, Jack awoke from a nightmare of a crazed fan breaking into Mark's house to steal his babies. Instinctively, Jack's hand went to his stomach feeling out the healed scar. It had been healed for months now and barely left a trace. He almost wished the scar was more visible, because the feeling of being... hollow hurt more when he didn't feel cut.

Rolling onto his side, he cried into his pillow, before getting the energy to grab his phone off the nightstand. Bringing the phone close, he tried to call Mark... but again there was no answer. Sniffling, Jack scrolled through his phone until he ended up calling his mother. He had told her about 'adopting' the kids before in order to keep her from calling him crazy over all the magic potion stuff. Which knowing his mom, he was sure she'd think it was some code for drugs. So, he just told her about how weird he felt. His mom had chuckled it off as possible Baby Blues. Telling him that the only cure would be to spend time with his kids. She explained that normally a woman that just gave birth suffered a period of Baby Blues because their body was generating hormones and feelings enough for both her and the baby. After labor, the mother's body would continue to produce them at overwhelming levels until it stopped. She coolly told him that he was probably just getting a similar feeling to leaving his new children with Mark.

Jack lowered the phone from his ear in slight relief. The potion had left him with a side effect, and it was messing with him mentally. He was glad it was normal, but at the same time... He wanted to get rid of the feelings. If there was only one way to do it, then he wasn't going to deny his feelings anymore. If Mark couldn't come to him. Then he'd go to him. Planning the trip was a great effort, but once the video was posted, he felt free. Gathering up his stuff, he sent Mark the information about his flight and left for the airport. He was done being disappointed and was done waiting on Mark. They were his kids too and he wanted to see them. The flight out was horrible. Every crying baby put Jack on edge and even made him cry like it triggered something in him. The nightmares he had now were about his kids not knowing him, or not wanting to be held by him. When the plane landed, he was a bit hurt that Mark wasn't there to pick him up. Mark had always come to pick him up. Trying to keep himself together, he hired an Uber to take him to Mark's house.

Within a few hours, Jack had arrived and made his way up to the front door. He had sent a text earlier to Mark saying he was arriving. Yet, Mark hadn't seen him pull up. So, he knocked on the door. The second he knocked, Chica and another dog began to bark loudly inside. Mark yelled at the dogs to shut up, then yanked the door open with a scowl on his face. Mark looked awful. His hair was messy, and his eyes were red from lack of sleep. Behind him, the babies began to cry. Mark's scowl turned stony as he said in a deep growl. "I just got her down for a nap, Jack." Jack slipped inside as Mark moved away. Jack's heart ached, watching Mark leave him at the door. He didn't seem happy to see him. He didn't even kiss him or greet him like normal. Closing the door, he rushed after Mark, saying hopefully. "You're tired. Let me help." Mark stopped short putting a hand to his chest to say firmly. "Jack, thanks. But no thanks. I have things under control. Just... sit down and relax until I can calm them down."

Jack huffed lightly, starting to walk around him as he replied lightly. "No. I wanna help. I haven't seen them in so long. I just-" Mark stepped into his path to block him, pointing to the couch as he said firmly. "I know. But not now. Go sit down. You wanna help? Keep the dogs quiet." Without another word, Mark stormed off to the spare bedroom. Jack's eyes teared up a little. Why was Mark mad at him? Couldn't he see that he was in just as much pain? Sniffling, Jack put his stuff down and put the dogs outside. He tried to wait for Mark to come back out into the living room so that they could talk... but he never did. After the first two hours of waiting on the couch, Jack couldn't take it and got up. Creeping to the spare bedroom, he peeked inside the open door. Inside, soft music played and what he saw made him smile. Mark was sitting against the wall, sleeping against the side of Sally's crib. Nestled in his arms was Sally. Stepping inside, he peeked into Barry's crib on the other side of the room.

Above Barry's crib, a mobile with stars and planets with happy or sleepy faces rotated to a lullaby. Barry had gotten bigger than he remembered. Reaching in, he touched Barry's tiny hand and tried to hold back tears as the little fingers curled around his one finger. He felt like he had already missed so much of their lives. Across the room, a soft gurgling drew his attention to Sally. She was wide awake in Mark's arms, tugging on Mark's shirt absently in her playfully nature. Pulling his finger away from Barry's sleepy grip, he made his way over to her. Just as he kneeled down, she turned to look at him with her bright blue eyes. Giggling a little, she tugged on Mark's shirt and bounced a little. Mark jerked his head up, his arms wrapping around her more in his sleepy state. Brushing Mark's bangs from his eyes, Jack kissed his temple, whispering to him sweetly. "I've got her, Mark. Let go." Jack wrapped his arms carefully under Sally, trying to lift her from Mark's protective arms.

One of Mark's hands grabbed his arm, but Jack sweetly told his sleepy body. "I've got her, Mark. It's ok." Mark's sleepy eyes took him in for barely a minute, before relaxing his grip enough to let him take her. Carrying her out of the room, he took her to the couch. Curling up with her, he cried a little, upon watching her wiggle and touch everything. Giving her his hand, she took his fingers and chewed on them with her soft gums. He just couldn't stop looking at her wide bright blue eyes. He hoped her eyes stayed that blue as she got older. Giving her little hand a kiss, he whispered to her lovingly. "I've missed you so much." Sally giggled, starting to pet the animal design on her blanket. Before long, he was laying with her on the floor with blankets and pillows from the couch. He'd found some of her toys and was booping her in the nose to make her laugh. He had lost all track of time, until he saw Mark standing in the hallway watching him. Mark's expression was unreadable. He looked so drained. Giving Mark a small smile, he told him lightly. "She was awake. So, I brought her out here. You ok?"

Mark nodded, then asked him in a groggy tone. "You want something to eat? I'm sure she's going to start getting fussy soon... Where are the dogs?" Jack picked Sally up, nestling her to his chest as he told him sweetly. "They are outside. Mark, go lay down. I've got this. I really do." Mark huffed, not bothering to turn around as he began pulling stuff out to make a bottle for her and Barry. His movements were almost robotic as he filled the bottles and grumbled out to him. "Ya? You know how much formula to use? How to check it? You know how to burp her and change her? Have you seen her cry yet? Know how to make that stop?" Jack shrugged, but hopefully asked him. "Well... no. But if you show me, then I can help." Mark let out a heavy sigh after putting the bottle in the microwave, growling out to him. "Jack... I can't. Just let me do what I have to... So, I can get what little sleep that I do." Jack moved closer to Mark, pleading with him nicely. "Mark, show me and you can sleep." Mark shook his head, grumbling out. "No. I can't risk you screwing up what I've done. I have a system."

Mark pulled the bottle out, testing the drops across his arm, before trying to take her from him. Jack stepped back quickly, holding Sally protectively as he mumbled out. "Mark... Let me. Please?" Barry started to cry in the other room, drawing Mark's reluctant attention. With a great sigh, Mark gestured to his recliner. Without words, Mark guided him into the chair. Removing a small blanket from a baby bag by the chair, he draped it over Jack's shoulder. Cradling Sally, Mark told him gruffly. "Feed her. When she's done, lay her over your shoulder and pat her back 'gently' until she burps. She usually throws up a little. Try not to get it on my chair. It takes hours to clean off. After that, lay her down for her nap. Got it?" Jack nodded, but Mark seriously told him. "I'm not kidding, Jack. You put her down for a nap. Otherwise, she'll be tired by dinner time and start screaming at night." Jack nodded again, waving him away to go calm Barry. Muttering under his breath, Mark took Barry's bottle and walked away. Jack watched Mark go, then gave Sally her bottle, telling her softly. "I never should have left..." To Be Continued...