With all the travel bags packed up by the door, Mark made a list of last minute items to take in the morning. He didn't want to forget anything important. Mark could feel the anxiety and stress starting to weigh on him already. He had barely left his house in the last few months. Most of the stuff he had on delivery. This was something he never would have attempted. His mother sent him more information on the flights and tickets. Letting him pay a bit more to bump them to first class. By the time he had done everything that he could possibly think of... Jack had put the babies to bed and was tugging him off to bed. They had to turn in early in order to even get up on time. It would throw off his whole schedule. Not counting the babies! Jack removed his clothes, slipping under the covers carefully. There was an uneasy feeling between them as he stripped himself down to slip into the bed. Jack turned on his side to face him, lifting a hand to touch his cheek. Mark leaned into his hand for a minute, then laid down.

Jack scooted a bit closer to him, asking in a hopeful whisper. "Do you wanna talk about earlier?" Mark closed his eyes, mumbling out in a deep distant tone. "There is nothing else to say about it." Jack touched his shoulder, gently saying. "Mark... I've never seen you like that. I'm worried-" Mark shifted to look away from Jack, grumbling out. "There is nothing to worry about. I just got a little sad. I'm over it." Jack moved behind him, replying lightly. "Mark, you can talk to me... If something is-" Mark groaned loudly to interrupt him, dryly stating back. "It's going to be a long day tomorrow. Can you let me get some rest? Please?" Jack's hand squeezed his bicep, before mumbling out in a hurt tone. "Ya... ok..." Mark opening his eyes, he didn't understand why things where coming out so mean. He could hear it in his voice but couldn't make it stop. Waiting until he felt Jack lay down, he slowly turned over. He hated being mean to Jack, but he couldn't open up to him. He knew Jack would take his words to heart. He didn't want to hurt him.

Scooting closer, he cautiously slid a hand over Jack's side. He expected to be shunned away, but Jack responded by taking his hand and snuggling with him. Kissing Jack's neck, Mark whispered to him in a deep voice. "I'm sorry... I just don't know what to say. I'm tired." Jack kissed the palm of Mark's hand, whispering back lovingly. "I know. Things will be better with Momiplier's help. I'm sure of it." Mark smirked, then nestled in to sleep against his back. Mark eventually fell into a deep sleep. Into a dream, where he was in the body of his younger self and listening to his parents fight in another room. He couldn't make out their words, but he could feel the fear and sadness swirling around his heart. A hand touched his shoulder and he turned expecting to see his older brother Thomas... Only to see a teen that he didn't recognize. The teen pulled him away from the cracked door and toward the stairs. Coaxing him up them without a sound. Halfway up the steps, Mark stopped as he caught his reflection in a hanging painting. He wasn't himself either.

Reaching up, he touched his young face with a look of fear. He didn't recognize himself either. Behind him, the teen boy whispered to him in a brotherly tone. "Tim, go. You're not supposed to be-!" Before he could finish, the door slammed below them and Mark's heart stopped. He saw an older version of himself walk from the room toward the front door. Just as his older self grabbed the doorknob, a plate smashed against the wall over his shoulder. His older self flinched, turning to yell something when he saw them on the steps. Instantly, he raised a stern hand, yelling up at them. "Barry? Why is he down here?! I told you-" Another plate smashed against the wall, before an older version of Jack stormed from the room, screaming out at his older self. "STOP IGNORING ME!" Upstairs a baby began to cry, and Mark jerked awake with a start. Putting a hand over his heart, he looked around to see where he was now. Outside his bedroom, a baby was crying. Touching Jack's spot, his heart jumped. Jack was gone.

Flinging off his blanket, he leapt off the bed and ran to the babies' room. Barry was up and getting restless. Flipping on the light, he looked for Jack. Jack wasn't in the room. He took two steps into the room, feeling like this was another nightmare. The floor squeaked behind him and he whirled around to see Jack with a bottle in his hand. Jack looked a little startled himself as he asked him with concern. "Mark? You ok?" Mark exhaled in relief, rushing over to Jack to hug him tightly. Jack cautiously wrapped his arms around him, uneasily asking nervously. "What's wrong?" Mark backed Jack into the wall, muffling out against his warm neck. "I just had the worst dream... and for a moment, I thought..." Jack shushed him lovingly, kissing his ear. Mark took some deep breaths to calm down, while Jack whispered out. "Everything is ok. I'm here." Jack kissed his shoulder, reluctantly pulling from him to say with a warm smile. "I've got Barry. Go back to bed, Mark. I'll be in a minute." Mark moved to let Jack go, but didn't leave. Turning to watch him go into the bedroom, Mark reflected on his dream.

He didn't want to end up like his parents. He didn't want to lose Jack. Jack leaned over the crib, cooing to Barry as he gave him his bottle. The way Jack smiled down at Barry pulled at his heartstrings until he couldn't stand it. Striding into the room, he cupped Jack's face and pulled him into a needy kiss. Jack uttered a surprised squeal into their kiss, before turning better to kiss him back. Mark lost control, wrapping his arms around Jack and lifting him off the ground. Pinning Jack up against the wall by the window, Mark pressed himself as close to Jack as he could get. Jack's legs locked against Mark's hips, moaning softly into the kiss. Cupping his jaw, Jack pried his lips from Mark's enough to stammer out. "W-what has gotten into you? I- I'm not complaining but..." Mark rolled his eyes, pressing his lips back to his. He didn't want Jack to ruin it with talk. Right now, he just wanted to feel good. Barry giggled in his crib, causing Jack to break the kiss to try and rush out breathlessly. "Mark... Not here! They-" Mark backed up from the wall to lay Jack out across the floor as he growled out against his neck. "They'll never know. I can't wait..."

Jack wrapped his arms around Mark's neck, whining into the kiss a bit. Mark broke the kiss, going to Jack's neck to kiss him there. Mark could feel Jack's fingers clawing down his bare back, while his feet slid down the sides of his legs. Mark grinded his hips against Jack's, coaxing a sharp moan from him. Mark ran his fingers through Jack's hair, letting out a deep throaty moan against his neck. Jack giggled, jerking his legs up Mark's sides from how it tickled him. Lifting his head, Mark turned Jack's head into another kiss. He loved the taste of Jack's soft lips. Nipping his lips playfully, Mark got Jack's lips to part enough that he could slip his tongue in. Jack arched up into him, moaning louder into the kiss as their tongues brushed against each other. During the kiss, Mark let his hand slid down Jack's side, feeling out his every curve down to his hip. Reaching his underwear, Mark slipped his hand under the elastic. Jack's leg tensed as Mark moved his hand to claw at his ass cheek.

Jack's hands grabbed his biceps to hold him, breaking the kiss to pant out reluctantly. "Mark... Stop. Why are you... doing this?" Mark brushed his lips teasing over Jack's, whispering deep and lusty to him. "Isn't this what you wanted?" Jack chuckled, tilted his head back to escape Mark's teasing. It didn't stop Mark though. Mark simply lowered his lips to graze his teeth across his neck. Jack jerked from how it tickled him, stating out in an uneven voice. "It is... but... Mark." Mark kissed Jack's collarbone, telling him breathlessly. "Just enjoy it. Please?" Mark squeezed Jack's ass more, trying to turn himself on... but it wasn't working. His mind was clouded with thoughts that refused to be ignored. Thoughts filled with the stresses that tomorrow would bring. Of the pressure and expectation of being a good father and boyfriend. The fear that his nightmare had been right... would his indecisions and failures ruin his relationship with Jack? Would he destroy his family the same way his parents had?

Mark grinded harder on Jack, until Jack yelped and squeezed his biceps just as hard. Feeling Jack's nails leave marks on his skin, he stopped with a frustrated groan. Jack's hands shook a little as he cupped Mark's distressed face, telling him in a loving voice. "Mark... You're not into this... Why are you trying to force this?" Mark removed his hand from Jack's underwear, shifting over him more comfortable as he strained out. "I am. I just... need a minute to get there." Jack pulled his face to his, brushing his lips over his as he said seriously. "Mark. Stop. Talk to me, ya stubborn arsehole." Mark stared directly into his eyes, when he said in a distant voice. "I can't." Jack shrugged, stating out firmly. "Why not? Whatever it is. I can handle it!" Mark got lost in the blue of Jack's eyes, before honestly mumbling out. "It's not something you can answer... I'm supposed to... feel it. And... I can't feel anything." Without another word, Mark got up and headed toward the door.

He had just stepped out into the hall, when Jack got to his feet and stammered out. "What?! What's that supposed to mean? You... So... Are you saying you feel nothing for me? That I'm not attractive to you anymore?" Mark turned to face him, correcting quickly. "No! I love you! It has nothing to do with that!" Jack crossed the gap between them quickly, pushing Mark against the wall by his biceps. Pinning him to the wall, Jack snapped out sternly. "Mark Edward Fischbach, you tell me what this is about right now! Quit fucking with my emotions and just spit the fucking thing out! Now!" Mark shook his head, his eyes tearing up. Jack's grip tightened on his arms, before he practically screamed out. "Damn you, Mark! SAY IT!" Mark tried to lock his jaw to keep it from coming out, but his jaw wouldn't. Bowing his head, he shook his head, saying under his breath. "Don't... Jack. Stop." Jack released his arms, taking a step back as he told him in a brokenhearted voice. "Mark, tell me right now... Or I'm-" Mark was afraid of what he'd say, causing his body to blurt out before he finished. "I don't know if I want to marry you!"

Jack took another step back with a look of stunned silence. Mark swallowed, closing his eyes as he bowed his head in shame. For a moment, the only sound was of Barry suckling on his bottle in the crib. Mark didn't have the courage to speak. His mind was scrambling to think of a way to rephrase that. Then Jack spoke out in a mousy voice. "Can I ask why...?" Mark licked his dry lips, forcing himself to look up at him, upon answering very softly. "It's complicated... but it's not you personally." Jack shrugged, asking a little confused. "I don't understand. If it's not about me... Why can't you just tell me?" Mark shrugged, admitting honestly. "You wouldn't understand... and I couldn't begin to describe it for you. All I can tell you is that I... I'm scared." Jack stepped closer to him, reaching out to take his wrists as he gently told him. "What are you scared of? You know me." Mark raised his hands, cupping Jack's jaw before kissing his forehead. After the kiss, he pulled away to walk down the hallway. At his bedroom door, he forced himself to turn and tell Jack lovingly. "Now isn't the time. We need to sleep. We'll be getting up in a few hours."

Mark moved into the room without another word. He didn't want to think about that now. His head hurt too much now. It felt just as weighted down as his shoulders. Climbing into bed, Mark snuggled up in the blanket. He felt terrible. Forcing himself to shut his eyes, he tried to go back to sleep but his mind kept him awake. After a while, Mark felt the bed dip behind him and opened his eyes to stare into the vast darkness of his room. Behind him, Jack snuggled closer, draping an arm over him. Keeping still, he listened as Jack whispered into his ear so innocently. "You're really thinking about marrying me...?" Mark chuckled at how adorable he sounded. Peeking over his shoulder, he told Jack's shadowy outline. "It's been on my mind..." Jack's lips found his. Giving him a quick and tender kiss, before he told Mark gruffly. "For fucks sake, Mark... When you make up your mind... Just promise me that you'll ask me properly." Mark smirked to himself, kissing Jack once more before whispering to him. "I don't deserve you." Jack giggled softly, nestling in behind him. To Be Continued...