7- Why Do You Always Push It Away?
"Oh God."
A man, roughly in his 30s, looked over at his wrist watch as he rang the door bell for the 10th time. What's taking so long to answer?
"Chun-Hee, are you home?"
He screamed, looking up towards the windows of the second floor. It's usually where the addressed lives. He sighed not getting an answer.
Soon, he heard short footsteps approaching him. He smiled and turned towards the door. The knob turned as it opened, another wide smile greeting him.
"Ajhussi!"
The man giggled as he felt a kid jump onto him, hugging him as tightly as possible. He hugged the kid back, softly patting him.
"How have you been, Jungkook-ah?"
"I've been great! How about you?"
Jungkook replied as he helped his uncle take his luggage inside and strolled them to the corner of the guest room.
"Been tired. Had a lot of work lately but since I've gotten a break, I decided to pay you a visit. I can also rest a bit."
The kid hummed and went to the kitchen. The older man relaxed on the couch and took his phone out, scrolling through it. Soon, Jungkook came with a glass of water and some biscuits for him. He smiled.
"Thank you, dear."
He said, accepting the plate.
"You're welcome."
Jungkook plopped himself beside the older and tried to peek in his phone.
"What are you doing Ajhussi?"
"I'm texting my colleagues about how I'll be working from home for a few weeks."
Jungkook hummed again, smooching his cheek on the older's shoulder. The man swung an arm around his shoulder, cuddling him close.
"Where's your aunt?"
"She went for groceries. She thought you wouldn't be able to come around till evening."
The older man made an 'o' with his mouth. He went quiet again and watched his uncle send texts to people that he didn't understand a thing of.
"Jungkook-ah?"
"Hmm?"
"How's school?"
The boy tensed at that questions. School had never been too good for him. But the last few days had been exceptionally bad. Just thinking of them makes him upset.
"Yeah... It's fine."
He paused, biting his lips. He trying hard to convince himself that it was fine.
"It's fine."
He repeated. The older man sensed the change in his mood and softly brushed his finger's through the other's hair.
"I heard from your ajhumma what happened."
He said, continuing to caress his hair. He was absolutely enraged after hearing what had happened to his nephew at school and couldn't wait to catch up with him and make sure he was fine.
"Yeah. I heard her telling you."
Silence followed. The older man didn't know how he really felt about all of these. He loved the boy very dearly. He felt he didn't do good enough as his guardian.
"I'm so sorry, Jungkook-ah."
He spoke in a soft tone. He felt really guilty. He felt he should've looked out for him better, especially when he was the teacher of the same school.
Jungkook's uncle had been a physics teacher at his school. The time Jungkook was transfered to his school, the man had payed as much attention to him as he could, constantly praising him for every small thing to boost his confidence. It seemed to put him in a little hot water with the other students but he didn't care as long as his nephew was okay.
"You couldn't do anything, Ajhussi."
He placed a hand on the older's knee as to provide some comfort. He knew the older blamed himself. He had always blamed himself for every single bad that happened to Jungkook.
"No, I should've known better. After what happened in your previous school, it's just-"
He realized what he was about to say and stopped abruptly, heart thumping wildly against his chest. He looked at the boy who started at him with curious eyes.
"What? Tell me what happened to me."
"Nothing, dear."
He tried to smile, but Jungkook didn't buy his. His eyebrows furrowed.
"Why don't I remember it? Please tell me!"
The older opened his mouth to speak but couldn't arrange his words. His panic increased when he saw the boy's eyes fill with tears.
"Why do you always push it away? Why do you never tell me what happened with me?"
His uncle was in loss of words. He knew he possibly couldn't keep it hidden for his entire life. But he deeply wondered if Jungkook could bear it again. He didn't want the boy to put him through the situation that almost costed him his life.
"Jungkook, you are not ready."
"You've been saying that for months!"
He yelled, yanking his uncles hands off him as he slipped further away from him. The man tried to hug him, but he moved even further away.
A tear dripped down his cheek. It always upset him how he couldn't remember anything about two months earlier, especially his school life. He tried hard to remember, but he didn't even remember the first thing of it.
"Was I a wimp then too?"
"Jungkook!"
He yelled in disbelief. He couldn't believe the younger thinks of himself as that. To him, Jungkook was the strongest little boy ever.
"Jungkook-ah, we're just...not ready to tell you. You've just started off your life fresh. We want to give you some time. Your life had been...complicated. We promise, whatever we are doing is for your good."
He managed to put his hand on the younger boy's nape without getting it yanked. He boy stared at him with red eyes, trying his best to not let the tears fall.
"Very less people can survive what you went through. You are very strong, sweetie. Don't ever think of yourself like that."
The man slowly traced his hand up to his face and wiped a tear that was about to fall. The kid sniffled, his lower lip wobbled as more tears filled his eyes. He was immediately pulled into a hug. The man almost gasped at how quickly his shoulder got wet by his tears. He felt terrible.
"B-But what if I'm doing the same mistakes? Please tell me. I want to im-improve. Please."
He sobbed, clutching his shirt hard. The uncle rubbed his back gently and cuddled him closer. He wasn't ready to let the boy know about anything he faced in his previous life. It would be too much for him. Moreover, the kid would hate him.
Jungkook would hate him.
"Oh my, Jungkookie, Please stop crying. You are worrying me."
He tried to pull away but the boy whined, not wanting to leave the hug.
"Jungkook. You were never wrong. You never did a mistake. You were always the perfect kid."
He whispered into the kid's ears, his son's gradually decreasing. The man bounced him like a toddler, patting his head affectionately.
"T-They don't like m-me."
He sobbed. The older felt his heart crack. The boy was so sweet, he deserved all the happiness in the world. But instead, he was being bullied, mistreated, looked down at. He kissed the kid's forehead several times.
"They don't know how precious you are. Don't listen to them."
The child nodded, dabbing at his eyes to wipe his tears. He tried to stop crying by biting into his lips but the other topped him.
"Don't do that."
He said, making the boy immediately let go, making at sob escape. The older man sighed, knowing it takes a lot of time for the boy to calm down when he's sad.
He held him tightly, rocking him from side to side and let the teenager take his time to calm himself down.
Soon, it was only sniffles. The older man tried to pull out of the hug, but the younger whimpered, hugging him tighter.
"Jungkook-ah, you have to go wash your face. Ajhumma won't like to see you cry."
The kid nodded on his shoulder. The man let him stay like that for me few more minutes. Then, helped him to his feet.
"Go wash your face before Ajhumma comes. Or she will beat me into a pulp for making you cry."
That got a wet laugh out of the boy. He nodded, wiping the rest of his tears and went to the washroom. The man waited, thinking hard about the boy.
"I only want the good for you, Jungkook-ah. You went through something you'd never want to remember."
He took out his phone and texted his significant other to come home quickly. There was a serious conversation they needed to get over with. Jungkook must not remember his past. Not at all.
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