!!CW!!
- miscarriage
- cheating
- attempted suicide
- self harm
- not sure what else but this is going to be extremely sad

Uh uh may cause dysphoria (nothing is really mentioned but this is a trans dude & cis dude doing the devil's tango.) John has started T & has top surgery, just not bottom surgery (yet)

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Alexander held John close, and cupped his cheek, brushing his thumb against his cheek to wipe his tear.

"Thank you for being here for me.." John mumbled.

Alexander gave a small smile. "Hey.. I always will be,"

John smiled back, and sat up.

"Hey, you alright..?" Alexander sat up next to him and rubbed his back.

"Yeah I just.." John trailed off. He looked over at Alex and glanced down at his lips.

Alexander noticed, but ignored it. "You just..?"

"I want to be loved." John said, leaning a bit closer.

"Well I'm sure your boyfriend can do that, no?.." Alexander chuckled, nervously.

"He can.. But I don't want to be loved in that way. I want you I-"

"John.. You have a boyfriend.. " Alexander sighed. As much as he wanted John too, He couldn't say yes. (👁👁)

"Please..? Just this once?"

Alexander sighed but gave in. "Alright.. No one will know.." He removed his, and John's shirt then gently pushed John down, and kisses him, John happily kissed back.

He trailed the kisses down to his neck, then chest, then stomach.

"May I?.." Alexander asked, tugging on his pants.

"Yes- please-.. Er.. When we do this, could you be gentle? I don't like it rough-" He was a virgin, but too scared to bring it up to Alexander. He knew it wouldn't change things, but he was still nervous.

Alexander removed the rest off his clothes. "Of course, sweet boy.." He cooed, inserting two fingers into John and slowly pumping.

John moaned a little, and covered his mouth.

Alexander chuckled and continued for a few more minutes, before stopping. He lined himself up with John. "Ready, love?"

John nodded, Alexander gently thrusted in and began to trust in and out.

John moaned softly, and arched his back a little.

Alexander chuckled. "Mm someone's needy.." He teased, speeding up just a little.

(More devil's tango occurs)

"Fuck.." Alexander groaned, trusting deep into John and releasing. He slowly pulled out and picked the freckled boy up.

"Mm.. What're you doing?.." John questioned.

"Aftercare," Alexander chuckled, he set John down on the sink and ran a warm, bubble bath. He picked John up, and gently lowered him into the tub, before getting in as well.

He gently washed John's body and hair, as well as rinsed it.

John did the same for Alexander.

"Peaches, you don't have too-"

"Yes, I do. If i need aftercare, so do you. This isn't one sided," he replied, rinsing his hair.

They stayed in the bath for a bit, just talking.

Once they got out, Alexander helped John dry off, and gave him a hoodie and boxers to sleep in.

The hoodie was just a little bigger on John, as Alexander was taller.

Alexander soon fell asleep, but John stayed awake. He couldn't shake the feeling of guilt he had.

A

fter a couple weeks, John had began to experience symptoms of pregnancy.

He rushed to buy a pregnancy test, and took it.

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Positive

"Shit.." John mumbled, looking down at the test he just took.

He was just 24, and in college, and was going to have a child.

However, the bigger issue was that the child was not his boyfriends' but his best friends.

You see, John was not the type to cheat. He didn't like it, and has never done it in past relationships.

However, John and his boyfriend had a fight, and he turned to his best friend for comfort and well.. Things escalated.

He sighed a left the bathroom holding the test.

"..baby? We.. We need to talk.."

"What about?" Charles grinned, looking up at John.

"I.. I'm pregnant.."

Charles smile dropped. "But you're a.. We never.. You.. You didn't fucking cheat, did you?"

John teared up. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I didn't mean too, I.. I was just with Alex cause I needed comfort but things escalated and-"

"You fucking WHORE!"

"Baby I-"

Charles punched his stomach hard. "I hope you fucking miscarry it, fucking bitch." He spat. "Get the fuck out. I need time to cool down."

John winced, and hesitantly left.

He went to Alexander's dorm and knocked on the door gently.

Alexander opened it, and pulled him into a warm, tight embrace. "Hey Jackie.."

"Hey.." John mumbled.

"Hey.. You seem down.. What's up?" Alexander questioned, bringing the shorter freckled boy inside.

".. I'm.. I'm pregnant. And it's yours.."

Alexander let out a nervous chuckle. "You sure it ain't your lovers?"

"You were my first."

"What...?"

"You took my virginity." John repeated.

Alexander frowned a bit. "I.. Fuck, I'm sorry I- if I'd known I wouldn't have-"

"But i wanted you too- I begged for you to keep going.."

"..if you say so.. Heh.. I'm gonna be a dad.. Wow.."

(Time skip)

John had unfortunately suffered a miscarriage.

For weeks he would look at his belly in the mirror and rub his belly, at somethings even look at the baby clothes section.

One day, John was in bed, running his stomach and pretending to be rubbing his pregnant belly.

Charles scoffed.
"Stop rubbing and looking at your belly. Your baby is DEAD. It's not coming back,"

"Excuse me..?" John sat up.

"Your baby is fucking dead, John. D. E. A. D. Dead. It's not coming back, your stomach won't grow. You don't need to buy these damn baby clothes n' shit."

"..yknow What? I've had enough of you. Fuck you Charles." John got up, packed up his things and went to Alexanders dorm.

Alexander happily helped him move in.

Atleast a month later, Alexander was baking chocolate chip cookies.

John was laying on their bed, rubbing his stomach.

Alexander had come in, to let him know the cookies were done, but stopped and frowned as he saw the freckled boy rubbing his stomach.

John stopped when he noticed Alexander. "Im sorry I.."

Alexander didn't say anything, he just crawled over/on top of John and kissed his stomach gently. "It's okay.. We.. We can try again.."

John teared up, and started to cry. "I want it back, I want our baby back.."

Despite knowing that the pregnancy would cause extreme dysphoria, he still wanted to try to have a biological baby before he continued to transition.

(He has gotten top surgery and started T, and is planning to get bottom surgery!)

"I know.. I know baby.."

"This is my fault.. Isn't it? My karma for being a stupid fucking whore?"

"Jackie you're not a whore, and this is not your fault.."

"But i-"

Alexander interrupted, "John please- it is not your fault. You shouldn't have cheated, yes, but you are not at fault for losing our baby.."

(Time skip)

A year had passed since them, Alexander and John had a nice 2 bedroom, 1 bathroom house. It had a decent living room, and kitchen.

John was laying next to Alexander.

"Can we try again?"

"What?"

"Can we try again for a baby? Please?"

"Are you sure?"

"I am.. Please-"

Alexander nodded, and kissed his neck

(Devil's tango)

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Negative

John threw the test and cried. "It's negative again!"

"Hey hey.. We can try again.." Alexander frowned, pulling John close.

"I just want a baby.." John sobbed, gripping Alexander's shirt.

"I know.. I know.." Alexander cooed, rubbing John's back gently.

They tried for a few more times, then it happened.

Positive

John gasped and cried when he saw the two lines. "Oh my god, oh my god-"

Alexander teared up, and gently hugged John. "We're gonna be dad's.." He smiled, and kissed his forehead.