TW: SPOILER for The Blacklist season 3 episode 2: Marvin Gerard (No. 80), violence, guns, physical fights, mentioning of holding hostages, mentioning of psychological child abuse, reader being an assassin, angst, tension, threatening

(let's all pretend Elizabeth didn't beat this shitty guy to porridge, almost shot him and had this hot angsty moment with Red and instead put ourselves in her position)

Marvin kept on talking about Becky and his situation, nothing important that I had to remember. Elizabeth stood in the corner at the bar, eyeing that guy from earlier. For the moment he was quiet and sat with his girlfriend who seemed disturbed.

Nothing important that I had to remember.

It became sort of a mantra for me over the years.

A plan. A name. A person to kill. The money I'd get out of it. That were things I had to remember, but the rest? Nothing important. The less you remember the less it can affect you.

Probably one of the reasons why Raymond Reddington took me with him on his mission to clear the name of Elizabeth Keen. What kind of relationship bound these two very different people wasn't clear to me yet but I wasn't concerned. I trusted Red.

Probably one of the reasons why I agreed on coming. Now I was in a diner, playing along in his little hostage game and slowly feeling the sleep deprivation of the last few days get into my system. I felt irritable.

That was when this guy jumped from his chair, grabbed Elizabeth's pistol that lay next to her on the bar and pointed it towards me. Elizabeth already went behind the counter, trying to save herself.

"Y/N, let me handle him. Don't overreact now", Raymond said quietly. Almost soothing, the deep sound of his voice, as if he was talking to a wild animal. A thought burned itself into my brain: Did he talk to me like that because he thought me an animal? An uncontrollable monster that needed to be tamed?

A small voice rang up in my head and grew louder and I heard my father again. "You will never be good enough! You're stupid and useless, always do the wrong things and never get anything done! Why should I burden myself with you any longer? You can go and live on the streets, I don't want you here anymore!"

That's when I snapped. I ran up to the man, hit the gun out of his hands and slapped with both of my hands against his ears, bringing him out of balance and to the ground. I beat my fist against his head, smearing his blood across his cheekbones and chin. He grunted with pain and I kicked against his rips in hopes a few would break. Satisfied, I heard them crack.

All this happened in the sum of a heartbeat.

"Y/N! STOP IT!"

I flinched when Raymond shoutet my name across the diner and I pulled out mine and Elizabeth's gun. They both faced Red when I turned around. Likewise his rifle pointed towards me.

My pupils were blown wide like the ones of a scared child. Reddington noticed it and slowly lowered his gun.

"Y/N you don't have to do this and you don't want to do this. Put them away. If you shoot me now you won't know what's going to happen. The full force of the FBI is outside just waiting for something like this and when they come in here and find you over my dead body I don't think they're gonna let you walk away just because I am the most wanted criminal on their list. And don't get me started on the assassinations that they'll connect to you. They'll figure everything out believe me, so put that gun down and come with me." Towards the end he almost whispered.

With every word he took a small step towards me. My hands began trembling, unusual for a person with my job. I felt my will break when he stood in front of me just inches away, locking our eyes and softly pulling the guns out of my hands. Tears began dwelling in my eyes and I wiped them away quickly.

"Shhh", Raymond pulled my head onto his chest, resting his chin on my head and soothing me for a moment.

I didn't notice the fearful and horrified looks of the people inside the diner, grabbing the hands of their partners and sending silent prayers that I wouldn't come across them.

"Uhm Reddington? I really don't wanna interrupt your... whatever this is-but we still have a S.W.A.T. team in the parking lot and now a dying man on the floor"

I looked up. Dying? Well atleast I did my job correctly.

"Yes Marvin and that's why my friend Chui right here, will escort us out of here before they storm in and pull the usual police hero move, right Chui?" The man nodded.

We followed him into a storage room that happened to be an elevator too and went from there through rooms for money laundering until we finally got out in an alley long behind the actual diner.

Raymond sent Marvin off to a private island with his Becky and ordered Elizabeth and me to put everything in the trunk of the second car. I sat in the front with him and tried to finally relax a little.

"Hey, don't do this ever again do you hear me? When I say no it means no. What were you thinking? If you keep acting like this then- well you are lucky I didn't shoot you right then and there."

I nodded shamefully. All I felt was exhaustiveness and I just wanted to sleep.

"Good girl, now get some rest. We don't want something like this to happen again.", was the last thing I heard from Raymond before I drifted off to sleep, dreaming of pecan pie and secret passages, guns and men in uniform.

♤♡◇♧☆

I'm a girl with issues and we all know it, so ofc this man is on my most wanted list too if you know what I mean 😏😌

Toodles💜

edit: I still love this. No further questions your honour.