RECAP:

"Don't you dare judge me as a parent. You know nothing about being a dad, so don't act like you do."

"Oh come on! You're not a dad! You're just a sperm donor. You've never been there for Shanae, never had any respect for her. You see, your daughter is the toughest person I know. If you acted like the dad you were supposed to be, you would have known that." Tears pricked my eyes as Reuben spoke. James let out a hollow laugh.

"And how well does your dad know you?" he smirked, watching Reubens crushed expression.

"Don't you dare talk about my dad." Reuben clenched his jaw angrily.

"He was a curious soul." James continued.

"James stop." I pleaded helplessly. He looked back, shushing me.

"This isn't your war Shanae." he said. He turned his attention back to Reuben. "Now, your father, he was a player. Had bitches and baby mothers all over the place. And your mum was one of them. Your dad was weak."

"Stop it." said Reuben through clenched teeth.

"He became settled too young. He retired too quickly, you see in this life there's no time to retire. Your dad was too dumb to know that."

"I'm warning you." Reuben balled up his fists.

"Everything he had done had caught up with him, and his stupidity dug his grave. If he hadn't retired, he would be alive today, and own South. He fucked up his own life, and in the end he deserved to die." I cried at James's words of cruelty. Reuben lashed out at him, knocking him to the ground. They wrestled for a little while before Patrice broke it up.

"Don't say shit about my dad again! Fuck with me, you're dead." he fumed.

"I think you should leave." said Patrice. I watched Reuben storm out, flinging the door open, and disappearing from my sight. I leaned back and cried, shocked by the behaviour I had just witnessed. Why does everything have to be so complicated?

END OF RECAP:

After that little episode, Patrice comforted me. "You're alright. Everything's fine." she said. I shook my head.

"I ain't a little girl no more Patrice. Just because you say things are okay, doesn't mean they are." I addressed. She nodded.

"But it's good to have hope."

"Hope? Hope for what? Hope that Reuben and James won't try to slit each others throats when they see each other? Hope that this gang war will end? Why should I hope, when I know none of things I hope for will happen."

"I see your point but you need to believe in something to keep you going."

"I don't even want to keep going. There's nothing for me to live for." I mumbled.

"Are you serious?" she asked. She continued, not waiting for me to give an answer. "Are you forgetting about the baby you're carrying? Your first child! You're having a baby and you're telling me there is nothing to live for? You're living to be a mum to that baby, and nothing is going to change that."

"But what if I'm not a good mum? What if I fall asleep and I can't hear my baby crying? What if I don't feel a connection with the baby?" I asked worried.

"You are going to be a good mum, you're going to be a great mum! And of course you'll feel a connection with your child."

"You said it yourself, that I'm going to be a terrible parent, and Patrice I'm scared! I'm scared that it's gonna turn out to be true!" I cried, tears pouring down my face.

"Oh Shanae, honey! I didn't mean it. And you'll be an amazing parent, I know it." she took my hand and looked me in the eye. Her green eyes held hope and there was a flicker of an emotion I could not identify. Her eyes were all teary and she smiled weakly. "Promise me you'll be a better mum than me." she said.

"What?" I asked stunned.

"Shanae, just please promise me that you'll be a better mum than I was to you. Promise me!" she demanded. I nodded my head.

"I promise." She pulled me into a hug and cried. She put her mouth to my ear.

"Leave the boy." she whispered. I furrowed my eyebrows and turned to look at her. She nodded. "It's the right thing to do." she said. I scoffed in disbelief.

"It's true." boomed James. I screwed him.

"I don't care what you have to say." I demanded.

"What did I do?" he asked, shocked.

"What did you do? What did you do!? You dragged my boyfriend off me, you cussed his father and then got in a fist fight with him! That's what you did!" I fumed.

"I was protecting you."

"Protecting me from what? From what?"

"The boy! He puts you in hospital and you defend him?"

"He's my boyfriend and the father of my child, what do you expect?"

"I expect you to see that even though he is those things, he still put you in the hospital! D'you know what he did? He mashed up your face by giving you black eyes, a swollen lip, swollen cheeks, and heavy bruising. He gave you 3 bruised ribs, and partially reopened the scar on your head. Who does that to their pregnant, might I add, girlfriend?"

"It's not his fault. I made him lose his temper!"

"Stop defending that monster! It's a miracle I didn't kill him, cos I really wanted to. He can't get away with abusing my daughter."

"Then you can't get away with it either!" I demanded, silencing him. "And it's only a one time thing, he won't do it again."

"Did he say that?"

"No, but I know he won't." I wiped my face, wincing at the pain. James groaned and Patrice looked at him.

"Can you give us a minute to talk?" she asked him. He sighed defeated and nodded, glancing at me before leaving the room. I looked away.

"Shanae look at me." she said softly. "Look at me, Shanae." I reluctantly faced her.

"What?" I huffed.

"Leave him." she pleaded.

"No, Patrice! I'm not leaving my boyfriend just because you tell me to!"

"The relationship is not good for you."

"How would you know that?"

"I know an abusive relationship when I see one!" she shouted. I looked at her stunned. I became speechless.

"I'm not in an abusive relationship."

"That's what you think. Trust me, you are digging your own grave here."

"Patrice I'm not in an abusive relationship though!"

"You are! That's how it starts. He hits you and then apologises. And then does it again. And the beatings become worse, more violent, more aggressive. Shanae, you do not know what you are getting yourself into."

"How would you know?"

"Oh, I know alright."

"What, you've been in an abusive relationship?" I asked. She didn't answer but instead started to unbutton her blouse. When I opened my mouth to question her, she put a hand up to stop me. I watched her turn her back on me, before taking her arm out of the sleeve and slipping it off her shoulder. I gasped at the massive purple and slightly red bruise stretching from her shoulder blade to her waist. Tears formed in my eyes and I held my hand to my mouth. "You still are." I whispered, as she put her blouse back on. She faced me, tears in her eyes.

"Nearly 16 years I've been in one." she sniffed. "Please Shanae. Please leave him." she begged.

"Patrice-"

"You're so beautiful, you deserve so much better, so much better. No man should ever put their hands on you, you're too precious. If Reuben really loves you, he would have known that."

"But-"

"Shanae, I know I haven't been a brilliant mum to you, scrap that, I haven't been a mum to you at all. But I want to fix that, and I'm trying to help you right now. Leave him." she stared into my eyes.

"I can't." I stared back.

"I'm sorry. I can't sit and watch my daughter allow herself to be treated in such a horrible way. I won't accept that my daughter is going to get treated like me!"

"I'm not!"

"Oh for Gods sake Shanae! Open up your eyes! He's already raped you, he's already gotten you pregnant, and now he's put you in the hospital! You really think things are going to get better after this?"

"Yes! He just gets angry sometimes."

"Stop defending him! If you keep defending him, you're gonna believe everything he tells you. He's gonna cuss you out, call you names, and you're gonna start to believe in what he says."

"He won't. I know you've never liked him but that doesn't allow you to say such things about him and what you think he could do."

"I'm only looking out for you."

"Well why didn't you look out for me before? I needed you before, I've always needed you. And you've never been there Patrice, so don't even play. Why do you want to turn everything around now? Why didn't you look out for me in the beginning, cos I know you must have had plenty a many chances to do so." I was in tears. Like, I don't understand. Now she wants to take care of me and do what she was supposed to be doing from day 1? Naah man, get outta here with that bullshit.

"Well I did in the end didn't I?"

"By doing what?"

"Moving."

"You abandoned us! Nearly 12 years, 12 fucking years you left us!"

"For your own good-"

"For my own good? For my own good!? For my own good would be to call the police and have him arrested as soon as you found out what he was doing. THAT would have been for my own good." I snapped angrily. I put my head back on the pillow and covered my eyes with my arms. After a few minutes of silence, she spoke.

"I'm sorry for the pain I have caused you. You're right. I should have called the police and reported him."

"Damn skippy." I agreed.

"But I didn't and I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry I turned my back on you. But I'm here to protect you now, and you will only be safe if you leave him."

"For the last time Patrice, I'm not leaving him!" I sighed. She glared at me.

"Fine. But don't say I didn't warn you. I know your hormones are making you act all crazy, which is why I'm biting my tongue at the moment. You'll see sense sooner or later." She picked up her bag and her coat.

"When you're feeling better, I'll get James to come and pick you up-"

"I'm going to stay with Reuben." I cut her off. She stopped in her tracks.

"No you're not."

"Yes I am."

"Shanae don't do this to yourself."

"Do what? I'm not doing anything."

"You're setting yourself up!"

"Patrice I'll be fine!"

"Oh my gosh." She let out an exasperated sigh.

"If I need you I'll call you." I said. She shook her head and stormed out, leaving me on my ones.

1 month later

I don't go to school anymore. Reuben says my brains will be much more useful to help take DDK off the radar. There was a time when he also didn't let me leave the flat. He thought I would go and never come back. Courtnee managed to persuade him to let me out, with his conditions being as long as I was with her and reported back to him every 20 minutes.

I went to meet her outside my old school. She had been bunking to spend time with me. Today she was late. I stood outside the school gates for a good 10 minutes or so, only to receive a text from her saying she was at home and that I should come and see her. I got on the bus and made my way back to the estate.

When she opened her front door, I knew something terrible had happened. Her eyes were red and puffy, and her nose was red. She had a frown on her face and her usually straightened hair was in it's natural curly state, tied scruffily at the top of her head. She wore a tight short sleeved white top, and short light denim shorts. I closed the door behind me and followed her up to her room.

"What's wrong?" I asked her. She jutted out a sob and collapsed into tears.I rushed over and sat beside her on her bed. I wrapped my arm around her. After she had calmed down, she turned to me and searched my face with her deep blue orbs.

"My brother Jayden, he killed Rita." She revealed. Rita was Jayden's girlfriend, and from what Courtz had told me a week ago, they were going strong.

"What?" I gasped. She nodded.

"Yeah." She sniffed.

"How do you know it was him?"

"I saw him doing it. I went to her house to get some of my things from when I spent the night. When I was approaching the house I could hear the commotion that was going on inside. I opened the door slightly and he was banging her head on the wall. I wanted to stop him, I really did! She looked at me as I was going to come in but signalled for me not to. I stood outside for a few seconds before going in. Next thing I see is him hovering over her, repeatedly stabbing her. I already knew she was dead, but he was still shouting at her and stabbing her. He finally realised I was standing there and stood up straight. His hands were covered in her blood and his shirt was drenched. I was frozen to the spot but then he started walking towards me and I bolted. Shanae, I don't know what to do." She sobbed. Shit man. I couldn't believe it. Jayden was Reuben's "next in line" so he'd call him. He was like the second man in charge of South Souljas. I had met him before knowing he was Courtz's brother. He always said hi to me and was kind to me when I had hung with Reuben and his friends. He was older than Reuben by a few years but always fit in with us.

"We're going to the police station." I concluded, standing up.

"We are?" She questioned.

"Yep. Come on get dressed." After she got dressed, we headed off to the police station, not before I texted Reuben, lying that we were going to McDonald's. When we got there, they took her away and I had to wait for them to finish questioning her, which took ages. I was too hesitant in that place to answer my phone and received 3 angry text messages from Reuben, accusing me of doing shit I wasn't doing. A female officer approached me and asked me if I had anything I'd like to report. I thought for a while, contemplating whether or not to tell on Reuben for all his crimes against me, and tell on James. I finally rejected the thought and said no. She looked like she knew I was hiding something, and stood staring at me for a few more seconds before nodding and walking away. Little did I know at that moment, I had made a huge mistake in not telling her about anything.

When I got back to Reuben's, I sat on my normal spot on the couch and turned on the TV. It was only 16:00 when I got in so I ended up watching Nothing To Declare. While a man's suitcase was being found laced with "narcotics" the front door shut. I turned my head and stood up, ready to greet my boo. I smiled.

"Hey babe!" I said happily. My smile faded when he marched over to me and grabbed a fistful of my hair. He slapped me.

"Don't 'hey babe' me. How could you?" He screwed.

"I don't know what you're-"

"You snaked on Jay!"

"No I didn't!" I defended.

"No? Then where were you?"

"McDonald's."

"Bullshit! One of my boys works there and if you came in, he would have seen you. He didn't see you."

"Well I don't know why-"

"Stop lying. Stop lying! I know you told Courtnee to tell them!" he shouted. I stayed silent before giving in after a minute of silence.

"It was the right thing to-"

"No it wasn't!"

"He has to be punished for his actions." I said defensively.

"So should you."

"Huh?"

"You told on my boy, you lied to me, and you missed 7 chances to report to me. Therefore, you will get punished." He pushed me into the wall and started his vicious attack. He slapped me multiple times before throwing me on the floor and straddling me. He pounded his fists into me as I tried to shield myself and fight back. "Put your arms down and take it!" He yelled. I ignored him and started to beg him to stop while attempting to push him off. Tears flowed out of my eyes as he continued to release his anger on my frail little body. I scampered away from him and called the first number on my phone. I was about to open the front door and run out. She answered as Reuben grabbed me and threw my phone to the floor.

"COURTNEE!" I screamed, hoping she could hear me on the other end of the phone. I fought to get out of his menacing grip around my waist, when he carelessly threw me into the mirror on the wall. I fell to the floor and received a kick to my face. "HELP! HELP!" I begged.

"Why you fucking calling Courtnee huh? You wanna snake on me too? Fucking try it then if you're bad!" He yelled.

"Reuben, please stop!" I cried.

"Stop telling me what to do!" He got on me again and pummeled me harder. "Stupid bitch." He muttered. I grabbed his arms and pushed them away from me. "STOP RESISTING!" He screamed.

"Reuben I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Let me go please! Please!" I grovelled.

"No!" He yelled, stomping on me. I heard the faint sound of keys jingling before the door swung open, followed by a gasp. Glass crunched noisily under her classic huaraches.

"Reuben, get off her!" She pushed him away from me. My body was numb with pain and I cried heavily.

"Shut the fuck up!" He commanded, pointing a finger at me.

"Reuben!" She exclaimed.

"You! You little dirty traitor! How could you give him up? Your own brother!"

"It was the right thing to do."

"It was right to make sure you don't see him every morning? It was right to decrease your family income? It was right to make sure your mum cries in agony at the thought of her son going to jail? Yeah, it was right.," he ended sarcastically.

"Well is it right that a killer walks free? Is it right that a family no longer has their daughter, cousin, sister anymore? Is it right that they're never gonna see her again while they're alive? Is that right?" She shot back angrily. She crouched down to me and pulled me up slowly as I winced in pain. Reuben glared at me and grabbed the neckline of my t-shirt, pulling me to him, before he pushed me into the wall. I whimpered in fear as he raised his arm up, his fist glistening in my blood.

"I dare you to fuck with me again, keep fucking with me Shanae. I swear, I won't hesitate to make you end up like Rita." He threatened.

"Reuben that's enough." Said Courtnee firmly. He looked at her and put his arm down and let go of my t-shirt. He pointed a finger at her.

"You're lucky you're my cousin you know. If you weren't, I woulda fucked you up." He left the flat hurriedly. Courtnee looked at me sympathetically.

"I'll talk to him. He can't keep treating you like this." She sighed.

"This is only the second time. And I don't blame him. I put a real dent in his gang." I whispered. She looked at me in disbelief before shaking her head and leading me upstairs. She cleaned me up and helped me to strip off my clothes so I could take a bath. We're both girls and she's seen me naked before so it wasn't awkward or anything. After, she helped me get dressed in pyjamas and helped me get into the bed in the guest room. She left to go to her flat but soon came back.

"Why'd you come back? Courtz, I said I was fine." I sighed.

"I'm spending the night." She replied casually. The buzzer went off and she answered. A few minutes later, she came back up with 2 boxes of pizza in her hands. I smiled sheepishly. I love pizza. When she opened the boxes, I gasped. She had ordered BBQ meat feast, with stuffed crust. She ordered a cajun chicken sizzler too! And to top it off, she got hot n spicy chicken strips, and macaroni cheese pasta with crisp bacon. We ate while watching some films on the large tv that was on the wall. I was in a lot of pain but tried not to show it by keeping my whimpers to a minimum. Courtz had accidentally elbowed me in the ribs, and I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming. Tears sprung to my eyes just from that alone. I breathed heavily, getting through the pain. After we watched like, 3 films, I was ready to fall asleep. I got under the quilt and wrapped myself in it. A box of paracetamol was shoved into my line of sight, along with a glass of water. I smiled and sat up.

"Thanks." I took the glass and box from her.

"No worries. I could see you were still in pain." After taking the paracetamol, I felt Courtnee climb into the bed. She laid down beside me and I felt her eyes boring into the back of my head.

"Yes Courtz?" I asked. She snuggled up behind me and places her arm over my waist and clutched my hand.

"Love you Shannie." She said. I giggled.

"Love you too." I replied. "And thanks. For everything."

"Don't mention it." She yawned. I smiled and drifted off.

I awoke to arguing outside the room. Courtnee wasn't in the bed anymore and it was still dark.

"Why the fuck should I be miserable?" Shouted Reuben. I sighed.

"Stop shouting!" Hushed Courtnee. I listened intently to their disagreement.

"Fine, but why should I suffer?" He huffed.

"You suffer? Have you forgotten what you've done? You put your hands on that girl you call your girlfriend. She's your girlfriend, so you shouldn't be putting a finger on her. And may I remind you that she's pregnant with your child? Your seed that you forced into her! Forget your gang for one second and realise what you've done to her and put her through! For Christ's sake Reuben, have a heart!" She said passionately. I heard a frustrated groan, soon followed by sniffing.

"I-I didn't mean to hurt her. I just-just lost it." He sobbed.

"Well you did. And you may be hurting your child too."

"I'd never hurt my child. I don't want to hurt her anymore. I love her." He said.

"Well then show her. Tell her you'll never hurt her again, promise her. And show her you love her." Advised Courtnee. I could imagine him nodding.

"Yeah. Yeah I will. Thank you."

"Don't thank me. Go get some sleep Ruby." She said. He groaned.

"Ah how many times do I have to tell you to stop calling me that man?" She laughed.

"Goodnight Reuben."

"Night C." I heard him walk into his room and close his door behind him. The door swung open and I pressed my eyelids together, pretending I was still asleep. The bed sank as Courtz sat down. She giggled.

"You look funny when you pretend to sleep." She said. A smile crept up on my face and I opened my eyes to see her staring at me humoured. We bursted out in laughter as she flopped onto the bed.

"Goodnight Courtnee." I mumbled, feeling my eyelids become heavy.

"Goodnight Shannie." she replied.

I was woken out of my dream of eating a donut by the smell of bacon. I sat up quick time and sniffed the air to make sure I wasn't just imagining it. I clambered over Courtnee, watching her nose twitch. She could probably smell the bacon, lol.

I went and brushed my teeth then crept downstairs. Reuben was standing in front of the cooker, flipping a pancake and bopping his head to whatever Capital Xtra was playing. He was topless and I watched his back muscles flex with his every movement. I glanced at the mini oven and saw the bacon in it. A smile formed on my face as my mouth watered. Listen, if this doesn't happen to you when you think or are in the presence of bacon, then you ain't a real human cos bacon is the bloody best.

*Franklin Voice* Anywho... I observed what he had cooked and everything looked delicious. He'd made pancakes, scrambled eggs, hash browns, mushrooms, sausage, baked beans, and of course, bacon mmm! I went to the fridge and got myself some orange juice.

"You're awake?" he asked. I abruptly turned around and saw the horror in his eyes. He stared at me with that look, making me feel uncomfortable. I held firmly onto the edge of the counter top and gulped.

"Uh, y-yes." I whispered. He walked over to me and I gripped the counter so hard I thought the counter top would be indented with my fingerprints. He raised his hand and I braced myself for a slap, closing my eyes. It didn't come, and instead he stroked my cheek ever so gently, I didn't know he was touching me at first. I peeled my eyes open and met his green, worried eyes.

"What did I do?" he spoke quietly. "I hurt you so bad babe. Why didn't you stop me?" he asked in a gentle voice.

"It was- I-I tried to fight back and I asked you to stop."

"Yeah I know you did." he licked his lips. "I'm so sorry I hurt you babe. You mean everything to me and I don't want to lose you. Please, please forgive me." he begged. "I love you." he added desperately,taking my hand and kissing it.

"Reuben I-"

"I'll never hurt our baby. I'll do all I can to make sure I be the best dad I can possibly be." I looked down.

"Look, Reuben-"

"It's not mine is it?" he lifted my chin and looked into my eyes. I furrowed my eyebrows in shock. Did this FOOL, really just ask me that? I scoffed.

"I knew it." he let go of my hand.

"You don't know jack shit." I stared at him. "Anyway, if you still want to hear me say it-"

"I was gonna bring you breakfast in bed." he pointed at the tray next to the cooker with food on it. "But there's much better use for this tray now." Before I could question what he meant, he took the food off and picked up the tray and I was lying on the floor. He had wacked me 'round the face with the tray. My ear was throbbing, along with the left hand side of my face. A headache was coming on as I tried to stand up.

"Oh shit, oh shit. What have I done?" he attempted to help me up but I shook him off me. I managed to stand and I breathed heavily. "Babe I'm so sorry. I'm so-" I put my hand up, silencing him.

"It is yours. And I was gonna say I forgive you." I cut my eyes at him, and looked at the broken tray on the floor. I got food and put it on another tray, taking it up to the guest bedroom.

Courtnee was sitting on the bed playing with her fingers. She looked up as I walked in. A worried expression was plastered on her face.

"You alright?" I asked, sitting beside her. She shook her head.

"What if Reuben's right? I mean, my mum would die if Jay went jail. She needs him, I need him."

"If there's one thing I know, it's that Reuben is never right when he's angry. You'll be fine without him, trust me." I cuddled her. We dug into our breakfast and I was yamming on my fifth piece of bacon as we watched Drumline.

A knock on the door tore our eyes away from Nick Cannon. The door opened and Reuben peeped through. "Er, I was just checking you two were alright." he said. I looked back at the TV and ignored him, even though I could feel his eyes locked onto me. When we didn't answer he sighed. "Er, okay." he shut the door and I breathed a sigh of relief. Courtnee left after a few hours and Reuben took the opportunity to do everything he could so I would forgive him. He kept on promising that he wouldn't hurt me again and that he loved me. He behaved like this for the next two weeks, letting me out the flat, and letting me stay out late with Courtz. I stayed over hers one night and headed back to his. I unlocked the door and we cuddled on the couch, eating jacket potato and watching The Fresh Prince of Bel Air. See, this is how it was supposed to be. And I was enjoying every minute.

I know, this is mad short and what not. But anywho, I don't wanna pack too much in this chapter so yeah. Deuces (-_-)