Shivin

I closed my eyes, embracing the tragic end of my life and drifted off to darkness.And next time when I opened my eyes ,I found myself standing in the middle of a hospital corridor.

I was confused and my memories were tangled mess of sound and colors,an echo of anxious feeling.

Hadn't I been in a car with Saanjh?Weren't we heading to meet her parents?

What was I doing here alone then?Where was Saanjh?What had actually happened to us?

My mind was full of questions and confusion .Something was seriously wrong but I couldn't pinpoint what exactly.

I was trying to figure out what was going on when I saw a familiar figure across the hallway;my best friend ,Vihaan. A relief washed over me at so unexpectedly stumbling upon him.I found a ray of hope.Perhaps Vihaan could help me figure out what's going on.

Vihaan was talking to a doctor and I noticed that he'd some injures.His right hand was bandaged and there was a band aid on his forehead .

Did he get himself drunk again and ended up fighting with someone and injuring himself!?

I wouldn't be surprised if that was case.But it was surprising and worrisome if he was paying a visit to the hospital for his injures because Vihaan was someone who didn't like come to the hospital and would avoid coming here even if he was seriously sick.His reason was that he simply didn't like the hospital smell.,it made him feel sick in his stomach.

Then what made him come to the hospital?Was his injures that serious?

I couldn't help but worry and was about to walk up to him when I saw him coming towards this direction.So I just waited at my spot for him.But Vihaan was so engrossed in a conversation with the doctor beside him that he didn't notice me and just walked past me.

"Vihaan!"I called him out but got ignored.

He probably didn't hear me.So I just followed him.The doctor and he made a stop in front a intensive care unit room, continuing their conversation.

I stopped in a little distance and waited for their conversation came to an end before approaching Vihaan.As their conversation went on ,I frowned confusedly , following the mood change on Vihaan face.At the end of the conversation,Vihaan looked sad,upset and disheartened.

Once the doctor left him alone,I watched Vihaan walking into a intensive care unit room.

I frowned in confusion .

Did he come to see a patient there?But who?Was someone ill from his family? Did something happen to his parents?

I felt a growing unease settled in my chest,tightening with each passing seconds as I hesitatedly stepped in.

Venturing past the doorway,my breathe stilled and the time seemed to stop when I saw Saanjh lying motionless on the hospital bed, attached with tubes and wires.

I walked up to Vihaan in panic"Vihaan,What happened to Saanjh?Why is she lying here like that?"I asked him but he didn't response.He didn't even look at me as if he didn't hear me at all.

"Vihaan!"Frustratedly I reached out to grab his shoulder but my hands just past through him.

Cold dread ran down my spine as I blinked my eyes rapidly,the feeling of panic rising like a drowning wave inside of me.

What's going on?

I tried again and then again and again but I couldn't just touch him.Everytime my hand past through his shoulder.

"Vihaan,Something is wrong.I am not able...I don't know what's happening.It seems...I can't."I was still trying to explain my situation to him when Vihaan suddenly walked past through me .

I was frozen in shock.I couldn't understand what was happening to me?How could a person walk past through me?It was impossible and clearly didn't make sense.

"What did the doctor say?"

And it was when I noticed that Vihaan and I weren't the only ones in the room.There were three others people present there.It took me a while to recognize them as Saanjh's parents and her younger brother.Saanjh'd showed me their pictures from her phone.

"No progress."Vihaan whispered,arms hanging limply at his sides.

"But the doctor said they can see activity in her brain so she's not brain dead.There's still a hope."Vihaan added quickly when he saw their crestfallen faces.

"Is there really a hope?"Saanjh's father whispered,brokenly."It's been a week since the accident.But she didn't wake up yet."

The accident!

It felt as if the air thickened,the room closing in around me.My throat tightened,mind reeling.Then all of sudden,all the memories that I'd forgotten rushed through my chaotic mind.I remembered it then.The car accident.The truck,the collision,screams,bloods,pain.

And then the realization dawned on me.That I was dead.And that's why no one acknowledging my presence in the room.Because they couldn't see me,they couldn't hear me.I was invisible to them .I was just a soul who was still lingering in this world even after death.

"I am afraid we'll lose her,Vihaan."Saanjh's mother sobbing voice reached to my ears.

I pulled myself together and braced myself to face the harsh reality.

Saanjh father;Mr.Avinash Mathur was by his wife side,his own eyes brimming with tears.He held her close,both of them shaking with grief.Saanjh's brother ,Tarun was standing at the end of the bed and sobbing silently.

Vihaan rushed over ,wrapping his arms around them."Let's not give up hope.Saanjh needs us.We can't break down like this.We need to be strong for her."Vihaan encouraged them but I could see tears of grief brimming in his eyes too.

Tarun joined them,sobbing together as they shared unbearable weight of their grief.I wished I could be a part of that embrace.I wished I could joined them and share my grief and pain with them.

"Waking up might take time but she would come back to us."I heard Vihaan mumbling,tears finally spilling from his eyes.

I knew Saanjh would.I believed she would.She had to.

She had to live ...for me.

................

"Why did this happen to us,Saanjh?What did we do so wrong?"I whispered brokenly,asking for the thousands time.

Only silence and insistent beeping sound of the monitor was her reply.And that silence pressing down on me.

It had been two months since the accident and Saanjh was still in a vegetative state.It was painful to look at her .She looked weak and skinny. Her skin was pale,lips were dry,the bruises and cuts on her face and body had started to faded.Her heart was beating sluggishly ,barely managing to keep up the pace.I wanted to scoop her in my arms and never let her go.But it was just wishful desire.Because even if I wanted ,I couldn't touch her,embrace her.

"Wake up,baby.Everyone is waiting to see you open your eyes,smile and talk.Please wake up."I whispered and leaned down,pressing a soft kiss to her forehead,though it didn't touch her skin.Then pressed another transparent kiss to the corner of her mouth and then lingering there for a moment longer.Wishing I could kiss her awake.

The soft click of the door opening broke the moment and I pulled myself away only to see Vihaan walking into the room.My mood immediately turned sour at his sight and scoffed in annoyance.

Why?

Well..Apparently Vihaan introduced himself to Saanjh's family as Saanjh's lover ,the person Saanjh loved and wanted to introduce to them.They didn't know about me at all .To them,it was Vihaan who had been in a car with Saanjh when the whole thing happened.

I was really mad at Vihaan at first.Then one day I heard him confessing to Saanjh and saying sorry for lying to her parents.In his defense he said he did that because he wanted to be with her.Because he knew her parents wouldn't let him lingering around Saanjh all the time or take any kind of financial help from him if he was just a friend.He needed a right to claim a spot in her life .Hence he decided to lie to them.He had no wrong intention but it was still a lie.It was deceiving .And I didn't like it at all when they adressed him as her boyfriend.It was my place,my right that he was claiming.

Vihaan walked up to her bed and sat on a chair ,by the side of the bed .

"Hey,did you miss me?"Vihaan asked as he grasped her hand into his own.

"I missed you."He whispered and I couldn't help but rolling my eyes.

"I've a good news to share "He said , excitedly."I made it to the final round."

Keeping my grudges aside,I felt genuinely happy for him.Finally Vihaan was making his way to achieve his dream.At least one of us ,able to reach their dream.

He had joined the music competition and doing incredulously well so far.

"Next week is the final round .You think I will pull it off?Would I be able  win the competition?"He was doubtful.

I wanted to tell him he would.I knew he would win.He'd that talent,that passion  in him.

"I want to make you and Shivin proud of me."He whispered,smiling."I'll give my best to win this competition."

I felt warmth in my heart.That's why I couldn't hate this man.

Vihaan kept talking to her about random stuffs and I had no choice but to listen to him .I was used to his blabbering.He came by everyday to check on Saanjh.It was a kind of ritual for Vihaan to sit by her bed and talk for hours.Telling her about his day or what's going on in the world.

As I believed,Vihaan won that music competition and it brought him name, fame and money and everything he wished for.He became very famous in a short span of time.

I was really happy and proud of  him.At the same time I felt sad for myself .If that accident didn't happen,my life would've been different by then.I also had those things in my life .I'd my Saanjh by my side.

............

Days,weeks and months kept passing but there was no progress in Saanjh condition.During that period ,there were many moments when Saanjh's parents got distressed or lose their hope.But Vihaan never lose his hope.He firmly believed that Saanjh would get well and he made her parents believe so.Vihaan not only supported them emotionally but also financially.When the medical expenses started line up at alarming rate and it became difficult for Saanjh's parents to pay the hospital bills ,Vihaan took responsibility of Saanjh treatment.Her family was reluctant but Vihaan managed to convince them.They'd no choice ,anyway.

When I watched Vihaan staying by her side ,doing all those things for her and her family,it made me feel helpless and worthless.I never felt this much helplessness in my life.I was just a ghost,a lost soul.There was nothing I could do for her .I didn't even know as to why I was stuck in this world.What unsolve business could I possibly have that kept me tied to this world? ...to her?

All I could do was just keep holding Saanjh hand or could say attempted to do so and waiting for a miracle to happen .Then the miracle  happened.Almost a year later ,it finally did .

One fine evening,Vihaan was sitting by her bed side and telling her about his new album ,his one hand resting on hers.That's when I noticed a subtle movement in her fingers ,so did Vihaan.

Vihaan sat frozen,eyes wide with uncertainty ,watching intently for another sign as if to make sure he didn't hallucinate.Then it happened again-Saanjh hand twitched.

He immediately pushed the emergency button and in a few minutes ,the doctor and nurse rushed in .The doctor said it was a positive sign,Saanjh might wake up soon.

And then finally a week later she woke up from her deep slumber.