a meditative chime struck from so far away it gloomshifts into a funeral

gong

I did my part. I served my time. Ended yesterday as good as shy knave, but worry festered free.

gong

My hidden rage simmered thick, the daily spice adding kick to the same meat that's me.

gong

Morning stew warmed by servo's tower. Scratching quill before the hour brings the sun. So

long

before my love shatters calcified eyes with a smile or hug extruding bowels back to one flow.

Strong

winds blow cold. My heart and head hidden by a fog of war. My marching orders come in with the din: lay down arms, cease to live, let the plasma go.

Yet, I know

the peace is hardly won, but it's not gone, I keep on living and greet my dawn. They wake in steps. Little irritants keep arms separate and monotony starts. Another day

without stars.

Those blades of light that cut ennui, firm expectations blinded gaze to every small kindness. I growled mindless.

Hungry for that little snack
that always calms,
that never lacks
the nutrients
to get my head
out of my ass,

I whinged

like water seeping
through the cracks
of the bilge.
My ship was sailing
with a snapped
keel and still

they comforted me.

Listened patiently.

I felt a little better, so I made half as many steps as needed, though more than none, thus my complaints had just begun

and kindness reached a limit

as no heart can truly give its all

for all times. My wall too hard as a pastime. Already past my prime. I told an old story of their life

knowing love
that's pure and bright.
Of a romance
without pain,
a life lived.
No yesterday
in their way.
With My Love moved on,
the new flame a bond
that blazes like those

stars above.

And it broke My Love.

Every tear earned. By this grudge I churned. Committed to punishing myself

for the life that was my hell,
for the mistakes that were my jail,
for the strife beyond my sail,
for big breaks I squandered nailed upon the door of my own church. My theses, endless grievances for all the chinks that weren't fixed. My sullied armor went to waste, simply for the lack of a good brain.

But in the name of something brighter than a night without stars,
I took up all the trauma and dragged it fresh over my scars.
If I gave up all I was given, my trudge would lighten to a jog
but the walk wouldn't be worth the fight. And I stayed strong.
Apologies were given. My testament, past resentment,
I again committed to a war of brain to heart.
Until my harm was risen, I made that day a new start.

With so many reasons given
their choice was all but written
our life of love should be severed
since the years of wrongs don't wither.

They stayed.

They swept the stone upon my grave.
Saying, "Yesterday will wait
for stronger minds to take
the weight that we must shoulder."

So our love, it grew older.
We scrubbed those bonds in partnership.
Storms came but failed to end our trip.
We walk on in a sky
that's never dim
but never bright.