Hlo darlings

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When you really miss someone, even the smallest of things related to them matter to you. Your dreams are about them, your imagination is all about them. Your eyes search for them in everyone and everything you see. Your lips involuntarily move to say their name. Your ears hear their voice in whatever you hear. Your feet start to move towards them and your hands move with an intention to touch them and feel them, but you realise that what you’re seeing, is just your imagination.

Tracing his fingers on a photograph, he smiled and held it tighter in his embrace. Looking around, he looked at every photograph and every smile she had on her face made his heart ache. This smile was what he had snatched from her. What he gifted her was tears of pain.

Getting out of the room, he went towards his Dadi’s room and saw her reading the scripture Bhagwat Geeta. Usually, when he used to go to meet her, she used to smile and gesture him to sit beside her and listen what she was reciting. Not that he was a religious person or believed in God, infact, he was an atheist. But mere sitting beside his Dadi was all he used to need to make his day. But now, she looked at him and simply turned her gaze back towards the Geeta and didn’t look at him, even if he was standing at the door for an hour.

What you sow, so shall you reap, it is said. And that’s what happened with him. He snatched her smile from her, his own happiness left him. Unknowingly though, but he did snatch her only family, her Dadi from her, and now, he’s craving for his own Dadi to look at him for atleast once.

He had made her lonely, now he is left alone, despite having the world at his feet. He snatched her freedom from her, now he became the slave of his own heart. The only difference between him and her was, she didn’t know why she was suffering, but he knew it. She was innocent, but he was a sinner.

Rudra’s voice startled him and he looked at him, being confused on seeing him shouting and saying something. When he finally cleared his mind and heard what Rudra as well as Om were saying, he got to know that the pasta he was making had been burnt.

Frustrated because of the same event occuring for the 15th time in last 3 weeks, he threw the pan away and left the kitchen, up the stairs and towards his room and locked himself inside. Resting his forehead onto her portrait, he drew some strength. What an irony ! What made him weak, was the source of his strength. The hope to see her once again gave him the needed push and he left the room, not before locking it and keeping the key in his pocket safely. His room had never been personal to him, his brothers used to sleep with him whenever they wanted to be with their elder brother, but from last 3 weeks, his room became his secret heaven, his precious possession because her belongings - her pictures, her clothes, her fragrance that he felt, was still lingering there, and her drawing that was so precious for her - were there.

His mother looked at him, and he knew what she was going to say, but he just didn’t want to listen to her, or talk to her. No matter what, he wasn’t able to forget what she had done to Anika. His frustration was simply because he wanted to punish everyone who was the reason for Anika’s pain, including himself. But he couldn’t punish his mother.

“Where are you going, Shivaay ? Atleast have your breakfast.” Janvi pleaded infront of Shivaay but he didn’t listen to her and continued to walk towards the exit. Janvi left from there towards her room to cry her heart out. She lost him because of her one mistake. In her son’s love, she forgot humanity.

Om and Rudra had to step in his way to stop him. “Bhaiya, atleast tell us where are you going ? Have your breakfast and then go. Come with me..” Rudra held Shivaay’s hand and moved towards the dining table, but Shivaay pulled his hand out of his grip.

“Ok fine. Don’t stop, but I just want to ask you where is Khanna ? There is some security issue and I want him to look into the matter personally.” Asked Om, despite knowing the answer. Rudra looked at him but he gestured him to be quiet.

“I’ve sent him for an important work.” Shivaay’s reply was brisk and he didn’t care to look at anyone as he answered. “What is so important that you sent Khanna ? You don’t send him unless it’s something related to our family.” Shivaay shut his eyes tightly, controlling his anger when Om wasn’t ready to listen to him and tried to leave.

“How many days are you going to torture yourself like this ? Why don’t you say that you appointed Khanna for Anika’s safety ? Why don’t you bring her here if you care about her ?” Om shouted as he pulled Shivaay to face him.

“I don’t want to answer anyone. And, as far as the matter concerns Anika, I will do as I wish. Anyway, she won’t need this security for long. As soon as I find that bastard, he’ll have to die.” Om stepped back with every step Shivaay took towards him and said these words to him. Shivaay was short tempered since forever, but his anger had never scared him or others in their family. This time, it was not anger, it was something more than that.

No one had the courage to stop him after that. They could do nothing but to stare at him as he left. “What are we going to do, O ? He doesn’t show but he likes Anika didi. He’s torturing himself. Not having his meals, not sleeping properly and any other thing that would torture him and give him pain in any way, he’s doing everything. Infact, Mishra  (Shivaay’s PA) told me that he’s not going to office from last 3 weeks. Then where does he go ?” Asked Rudra from Om.

“He doesn’t like her, Rudra, he loves her. I don’t know if he actually doesn’t know this or just pretending. But one thing I can say is, it’s Anika who can bring him back to us, make him normal and happy.” Said Om, and Rudra knew he was right, but there was nothing they could do to help their brother.

“Shall we talk to Anika didi ?” Asked Rudra, and chided himself for asking something like that, when he knew very well that his brother, or anyone in their family didn’t deserve this.

“I don’t need to answer this, you’ve got your answer from your heart already, didn’t you ?” Asked Om and smiled sadly while Rudra nodded.

Shivaay phoned Khanna as he drove out of the mansion, getting impatient because of the usual Mumbai traffic. After driving through the busy roads,  he pulled the car onto the street leading to his destination, the place that was his solace, the place that he visited everyday to have a glimpse of his once a namesake wife, whom he hadn’t accepted. But now, she was the only one who was in his mind, his heart and every drop of his blood was filled with her name and the will to protect her till his last breath, but, without being noticed by her.

Khanna, as usual, was ordered by his boss to do something so that Anika don’t step out of the house. But this time he had failed in doing so, and with every passing second, his heart was thumping faster as he imagined his boss knocking him down in the fit of his anger.

He sighed in relief when Shivaay didn’t punch him or kick him as he had imagined, but his boss was angry. Thanks to the girl named Anika that he (Shivaay) didn’t want to waste his time, otherwise he would’ve been dead by now.

“Where did she go, do you know that ? And dare you say No.” Asked Shivaay from khanna in his angry voice. Khanna wandered what would happen if he said no, perhaps something scary, he was sure. Fortunately, he knew about Anika ‘Mam’s’ whereabouts, Mam, because he knew what she meant to his boss. Infact, everyone except him (Shivaay) knew it, including his family members, servants and security staff. His boss was zero in understanding the matters of heart.

Khanna’s face was worth watching when a smile came upon Shivaay’s lips when he got to know about Anika’s work place. It was a face holding amusement, happiness, relief and what not. That smile was a sign that his misery was going to end for the time being.

Shivaay didn’t want her to come out of her house unless he found a safe job for her. And he rejected nearly hundred and odd jobs, finding one or the other thing that could hurt her in any way. Khanna was going to faint when, just a day ago, his boss rejected the job of a baby sitter because the baby could pee on Anika, the job of a kindergarten teacher because the little kids could trouble her by crying too much, and then, the job of a receptionist at a private clinic because he had heard Rudra talking the other day, about a movie in which every other guy was flirting with the beautiful receptionist. His boss knew very well that his lady was more than beautiful.

It is true, when someone says that wealth, women and wine can make anything happen in this world. Wealth and wine could never get on the Shivaay Singh Oberoi’s nerves, and for that matter, even women could not. It was just this particular woman who, without even knowing, was driving him crazy, who was making him dance on her tunes without even giving it a thought.
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