Eventually, Seokjin returned to work after about a month, that was 27 days to be exact. He was responsible and devoted to his job no matter what. That was one of the things Yoon Min liked about him. A man who was duteous to his profession. Though she wasn’t here to admire that fact anymore.

That also explained that it had been 27 days since he's been away from his wife. So many days yet no reconciliation. He stopped expecting as well. Because even an illiterate person would say everything was his fault and they shouldn’t get back together. So there was no point of thinking he could be forgiven at all. He didn’t deserve to be forgiven.

About Yoon Min, he didn’t know how she was doing. But he was relieved she wasn’t acting recklessly like she used to in the beginning. These days, she was seen going out of the hotel a few times and asked for room service sometimes. She was even eating once a day. At least, she wasn’t trying to kill herself. This was more than enough to start.

He asked the receptionist to inform him when she came out of her room. So, he would get a call whenever she was seen going out of the hotel. And whenever that happened, he would leave everything and run to her. He would follow her from a distance, watch her silently and feel solace. This turned out to be the best part of every day.

Yoon Min never decided a certain place. She just walked on the busy streets of Seoul aimlessly and breathed the smell of rain. But at the end of every day, she ended up arriving at a few special places. Places where they used to go together, places where they stopped and stared at something, places where they took a risk to steal kisses. It was so obvious she was missing him the same way he was.

It somehow made him feel a little better. He could see through her cover. No matter how thick the mask was, he could realize what was going on in her head and what her facial expression expressed. And he could understand she was feeling lonely and missed him. Missed their love, their fun, their memories. It was making him more guilty rather than being glad. He caused all of this to happen.

Why did they have to be far from each other? How did a strong, perfect marriage fall apart? What made the happy lovers turn into heartbroken lovers? The only answer led to him, every time.

Regret is a strange feeling in this world. Regret can make a bad guy turn into a good guy, regret can bring people come together, regret can change an untouched heart. But the more its power, the more it brings pain. Regret can also be the reason behind million tears, regret can take away happiness and peace, regret can lead to suicide.

Seokjin was regretting every second of his life right now. The feeling of being the sole reason behind the destruction of a marriage, the brokenness of a woman's heart, the insignificance of trust and love; were tearing his own heart apart. He lost count of the times he tried hurting himself, the number of tears left his eyes, the unexplainable guilt that was killing him slowly, like slow death.

There was none to blame even if he wanted to. It was him, it was always him.

He wanted to die. He didn’t want to live anymore. He wanted to hide and run away. He wanted to disappear forever. He really couldn't survive like this. Not with this endless guilt, not without her.

He was the perpetrator of a foolish crime, that had shattered him totally.

-------------

It was one usual night when Seokjin was drowning in sleep. He didn’t fall asleep this fast usually, but today's been kind of a tiring day. Unlike his depressed wife, he wasn’t thinking of gulping many sleeping pills at once. He didn’t dare to. He was trying to stay alive because of her.

Something woke him up, he wasn’t sure if it was the scary thunder or the heavy, sharp splatters of rain on the glass window. He shot open his eyes and a terrible headache stabbed his brain. It was a habit, he was suffering from migraine ever since it all happened. He rubbed his eyes and glanced at the clock.

1:32 a.m. What a perfect time to wake up! Or even the rain to shower.

He wanted to go back to sleep but his attention was on something else. Raindrops kept hammering on the ground outside. The thunders were terrifying as well as the lightenings. But yet, there was a different sound his mind was attached to.

Was someone actually knocking on his door?

Other times, he would hide under the blanket and force himself to think it was nothing. But this time, he didn’t know what made him get up from the bed and walk downstairs. It was actually true. Someone was indeed banging on the door like a maniac. The banging was too loud and annoying that he had to jog a little to reach there.

By the sound outside, he could guess a heavy storm was going on so whoever was out there either must be a ghost or his imagination. With this thought, he opened the door and his eyes were wide open in shock.

Yoon Min. She was standing, barely standing in her wet clothes.

Not even in his dreams did he imagine she would show up in front of him all too sudden. Not so late at night, not in this storm, not like this.

All his lips managed to utter was her name.

She opened her eyes and that was when he realized she was actually closing her eyes all the time. Then suddenly, she let out a weird giggle and held out her arms as if she wanted to hug him.

“Yayy, he opened!”

He was confused by what she said. Then it took him a minute to realize she wasn’t in a normal condition. The smell of alcohol was clearly recognizable. And her inability to stand properly was another sign. Yeah, she was drunk.

“Y-Yoon Min, you--” He immediately pulled her inside and closed the door.

The water droplets fell to the floor and he remembered she used to get mad whenever he used to enter inside their home, all wet from rain and make a mess on the floor. Now she was the one doing it.

Before he could do anything, she dropped to her knees on the floor and cheered, “How have you been, darling? I missed you.”

Seokjin wondered how much she drank to act like this. She was always a good drinker. She could hold her liquor well. And she rarely drank. What the hell happened to her?

“Jinnie~” She was smiling like an idiot.

The concern here was she was wearing drenched clothes as he was assuming she must've wandered alone in the streets in that storm outside and came to their house. Because she was drunk and her mind wasn’t working right. Every crazy stuff felt right to her.

He also dropped to his knees in order to make her stand up. “Yoon Min, please get up. You need to change. You'll get cold.”

“No!” She strongly protested. “I'm okay. I'm fine.”

“You're drunk. Listen to me.” He almost forgot what happened between them and behaved like how he used to be a month ago.

Pushing her bottom lip in a pout, she shook her head again and grabbed his face in her hands. Which took him by surprise.

“Look...you don't look like you. Your eyes are sad, your cheeks have stains, your lips are bruised.” She mumbled scanning his face. “Did you also have a hard time like me?”

He stared into her dizzy eyes and knew he had to do something. So he moved, put his arm under her legs and picked her up. She cheered freely and if it wasn’t for their fight, he would've found her so cute.

Carrying her to the bedroom, he placed her on the bed and she spoke inaudible words that made no sense. He went through their closet where some of her clothes were still there and chose one. He took it to her and requested, “Go change. You'll get cold.”

She still shook her head.

“Yoon Min--”

“I won't! Why should I listen to you? Did you listen to me?”

He was silenced after her outburst. Although he knew it was the effect of alcohol, but she still didn’t forget what he did. She must've come here for some reason.

Yoon Min let out a gasp and slapped her own cheek. He was baffled by her behaviour and his eyes were wide. Then he saw her suddenly crying just like a child, shamelessly and loudly. At this point, he didn’t know what to do.

Then she finally let out the words she came here to say,

“Why? Why did you do that to me?” Her eyes were shut, tears streaming down like rivers. “What did I ever do to you?”

Seokjin dropped the clothes he was holding on the floor and went pale white. The sudden lightenings outside illuminated his face often which showed he was purely heartbroken to see her crying like this.

“Did you even love me at all?” She cried out, pulling her knees to her chest in a fetal position.

He sat on the bed and tried to hold her, “I do. I really do, Yoonie. Please...don't c-cry.”

His words never reached her ears. “Was it because I'm not beautiful like her?” She looked at him with teary eyes. “I'm not pretty, or smart, or powerful like her. Is that why you--”

“N-No, no, that's not true.” He didn’t realize he was crying too.

“I was only gone for five days! Five days without me and y-you just forgot me--”

The distress and pain in her voice broke his heart, wanting nothing more than to hold her, heal her wounded soul, whatever it was. He wanted to tell her she was mistaken, but was she? Didn’t he forget her that sinful night?

It hurt hearing her cry out those words.

Yoon Min sobbed and complained at the same time, “I-I thought... I thought we were happy and healthy. We didn’t need anything. I really thought our love was the strongest, the unbreakable but--”

Past tenses. She was using past tenses. It stung him the most.

“I thought I was doing enough for you.” She opened her teary eyes and glanced at him innocently. “I really thought I did my best for you, that I certainly was a good wife and didn’t lack anything to be your perfect woman. But...”

Sniffling, she let out a painful cry again, “I wasn’t enough. I never was good enough for you! I'm just a sick person with a weak heart!”

She thought of herself as weak, insufficient, ugly. She thought she wasn’t doing her responsibilities. She hated herself.

How could he let her know she was beyond perfect, more than enough for him? It happened because of him. Not her.

“Y-Yoon Min--” He wanted to tell her that but suddenly, she lost her sense and fell on her back straight on the bed. He took a close look at her face and knew she dozed off to sleep due to heavy alcohol. Finding no other way, he changed her himself and put on new clothes on her. Then he tucked her inside, making sure she was in a comfortable position.

At first, he stayed awake for an hour, just crying and staring her sleeping body. He could see the burns, the scars, the marks on her heart and it was a shame they were visible. He sobbed, covering his mouth with the back of his hand, thinking after she did so many things for him, how could he not give her one thing? One small thing she wanted and he failed at that.

And she was blaming herself. Like always, she thought it was her fault this happened, that she wasn’t good for him.

He wondered if he only he wasn’t alive...would her pain lessen?