(I am obsessed with these)

Rockwing: I'm a reverse necromancer.

Snailstar: Isn't that just killing people?

Rockwing: Ah, technicality.

<>

Rockwing: Snailstar... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?

Snailstar: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.

Rockwing:

Rockwing: I wrote sanitize, Snailstar.

(Murder Couple)

<>

Morningheart : Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Larkswoop: Okay, but in my defense, Fallenpaw bet me 50 cents I couldn't drink all that shampoo.

Morningheart : That's not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

<>

Morningheart : Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste

Larkswoop: We got spring water

Morningheart : NO.

Fallenpaw: with EXTRA minerals

Larkswoop: it's like licking a stalagmite

Morningheart : DON'T COME HOME.

Fallenpaw: Mmmmm cave water

<>

Pebblepaw, Marigoldpaw, and Sunpaw are sitting on a bench

Lightpaw : Why do you guys look so sad?

Pebblepaw: Sit down with us so we can tell you.

*Lightpaw sits down*

Marigoldpaw: The bench is freshly painted.

<>

Pebblepaw: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Marigoldpaw: Not if they consent to it.

Sunpaw: Depends who you're stabbing.

Lightpaw : YES?!?

<>

Willowdawn : Violence isn't the answer.

Venomrain: You're right.

Willowdawn : *sighs in relief*

Venomrain: Violence is the question.

Willowdawn : What?

Venomrain, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Willowdawn , running after her: NO-

<>

Willowdawn : Ok, maybe playing 'whose family is most dysfunctional' wasn't the best idea we've had. Venomrain's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get her out...

<>

*The group is getting into the car*

Lilytail: I'm driving.

Webtail, out of view: Shotgun!

Melodicflicker , turning to face Webtail: Aww! But you had it on the way here-

Everyone except Webtail: WOAH-

Webtail, holding a shotgun: No! I found a shotgun! And I want the front seat! *Pumps gun*

(Webtail with a gun, what will he do?)

<>

The squad is trying to con some random guy

Lilytail: Um, Webtail, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family?

Webtail: We need money!

Lilytail: You're scamming him?

Webtail: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him?

Lilytail: What?! No way!

Webtail: Why not? We already stole Melodicflicker !

Melodicflicker : Hey guys

Lilytail: No, we didn't. Melodicflicker can think and talk for himself , he can do whatever he wants!

Melodicflicker : I wanna steal

<>

Birchpaw: So apparently the 'bad vibes' I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress

<>

Birchpaw: When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying 'Haven't decided yet' is typically a good response.

<>

Angelwing: On a scale from "damn Daniel" to "fre sha vaca do", how are you feeling?

Lightningsnow : In between "it's an avocado, thanks" and "how did you defeat Captain America", but as a solid answer I would say "I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger". How about you, Fallenpaw?

Fallenpaw: Probably "road work ahead".

Carppaw: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

<>

Angelwing: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Lightningsnow : I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Fallenpaw: I got distracted about halfway through.

Carppaw: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

<>

Snailstar, standing with her back turned: I've been expecting you, Ravenheart.

Ravenheart: How did you do that without turning around?

Snailstar: ... To be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you.

<>

Snailstar: Top 30 reasons why Snailstar is sorry... Number 5 will surprise you!

Ravenheart: Top 30 anime deaths. Number One: YOUR F*CKING ASS RIGHT NOW!!!

<>

Honeyleaf: Pollenlight, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean?

Pollenlight: I don't know, love you, talk to you later

Honeyleaf: Ok, I love you too, I'll just ask Willowdawn.

<>

Honeyleaf: How's the sexiest person here~?

Pollenlight: I don't know, how are they~?

Honeyleaf, flustered: I-

Willowdawn, from across the room: I'm doing great, thanks!

<>

Spiderpaw : In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Hailpaw: Wasn't Fawnpaw with you?

Fawnpaw: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

<>

Spiderpaw : What do you think Hailpaw will do for a distraction?

Fawnpaw: She'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Fawnpaw: ... or she could do that.

<>

Faithheart : Have you seen a cat named 'Nectarnose' around here?

Whisperingspirit : Ugh, yes. He made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.

Harmonyleaf : It looks fine to me?

Whisperingspirit : IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

<>

Faithheart : Truth or dare?

Nectarnose: Dare

Faithheart : I dare you to kiss the hottest person in the room

Nectarnose: Hey Whisperingspirit

Whisperingspirit , blushing: Yeah?

Nectarnose: Could you move? I'm trying to get to Harmonyleaf

(All my homies hate Nectarnose)

<>

Ravenheart : You kill people for money?!

Roseflight : I can explain!

Ravenheart : And all this time I've been doing it for free like a chump!

<>

Ravenheart : If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Roseflight : Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

A/N: that's enough for today, time to watch someone in a Bat Theme suit beat up vampires (no, it's not Batman)