Heart racing, I gingerly sat in a chair, watching as Alexander sat down next to me.

We had just finished dancing for what seemed like hours, and now my feet are so wedged in my heels I bet they'll never come out.

As I glanced at Alexander downing his third butterbeer I wondered where he came from.

He'd just whisked me away after our embarrassing karaoke dilemma, and Chris and my friends were too busy dancing to notice I was gone.

There was something about him that seemed familiar though; maybe it was his sparkling green eyes, his sense of humor and kind nature that reminded me of my father before he turned hard.

Maybe it was just that I was secretly falling for him even more than I was for James.

Which was ridiculous, because before the dance I had never heard of him, nor met him but I found that Alexander was like an improved James, one that James himself  could never give me.

And as much as it hurt to "let him go," (even though I never had him) it felt better to welcome Alexander in my heart instead.

"Hey Morgan, I want to show you something." Alexander said, and my heart seemed to skip as he grabbed my hand and pulled me away.

If we ever became more than friends we'd have to talk about grabbing people without they're permission.

But I let him, and as we stepped outside the Great Hall doors Alexander told me to close my eyes. "I want you to be completely surprised," he said, and I closed them.

"Okay when I get to three, open them. One, two, three."

I opened my eyes and gasped.

There stood the lake, illuminated with thousands of floating lanterns against the cool night sky. "Alexander did you do this?" I asked, and he laughed. "Are you kidding me? This is Hogwart's work, not mine."

He grabbed my hand. "Come on, let me show you this one spot." He pulled me along, and I glanced at other Hogwarts couples sitting by the lake, laughing and softly whispering.

We walked for about five minutes before we got to the end of the lake. There stood an enclosure of white rose bushes that surrounded a bench, a willow tree hanging over the side.

I sat down and Alexander joined me. "Why did you take me here? Is it because white roses are my favorite? How did you know?" I asked him, rather suspiciously. Alexander's eyes twinkled. "I have my ways."

He keeps saying that.

"So Morgan I wanted to ask you. Do you still like James?" His question alarmed me so much I almost fell off the bench. "H-H-How did you know about that?" I stammered, and Alexander's eyes flashed playfully.

"Everyone sort of knows Morgan. I mean you two fight all the time don't you? And now Steph and James have broke up, so that leaves you two in the perfect position to you know, date."

I laughed nervously. "I guess, but Alexander that's over now." Alexander's eyes flashed with a hurt I didn't understand, but it evaporated quickly.

"Is it because you've met me?" He said, amused. I looked at him shyly. "Yes," I whispered, and he grinned.

We sat in silence for a bit, enjoying the beautiful scenery. Finally I looked down at Alexander's pocket and noticed something poking out of it.

"What's that?" I asked, and Alexander shuffled his feet. "Oh, um it's-" He didn't get to finish. I pulled it out, and my face paled as I noticed it was the letter I had dropped in the library.

"Alexander, how did you find this?" I asked, my voice raising. Alexander's eyes flashed with worry. "Morgan, I swear I was going to return it. I just found it in the library-"

I interrupted him as I realized that it had been opened. Hands trembling I pulled out a photograph of my father in Paris with his family.

The words 'we went to France' were scrawled across it. A tear slid down my cheek as I looked at the two happy children with him, gawking at the Eiffel tower.

He certainly didn't have time for vacations like this when he was with my mom and me.

I tried to push my tears away but they escaped, splashing the photo. I looked up, remembering Alexander was there, and saw him looking at me sympathetically.

"How dare you open my mail," I said, my voice trembling. "You're no better than James." I stood up with him and began to leave when I heard him sigh.

"I'm no better than James because I am James."

I froze. "What do you mean?" I asked.

"Turn around," he whispered.

Slowly I turned and saw him without his mask, revealing sparkling green eyes I knew all to well.

"James?" I gaped, and James nodded. "I'm sorry I had to go by Alexander," he apologized. "But you'd never give me a second chance if you knew it was me."

My head spun, and as much as I tried to be mad at him I couldn't. A small part inside of me was soaring with hope, excited that the boy I was falling in love with was the guy I still loved.

"I need to sit down. Please explain." I said and sat down on the bench.

James began to talk. "Morgan, I liked you ever since you saved me from the Attra's. I fought with the feeling for so long, telling myself I didn't, but I was just lying to myself.

I felt terrible after I read your diary out loud. And I never really forgave me for doing it. And I didn't know you liked me to until you just admitted it to me yourself. So will you give me a second chance?"

I stood up and he grabbed my hands. The moon seemed to swell larger as I noticed how close we were together, and my heart beat kicked up a notch.

We stood there for a second, a breeze ruffling my hair. "Please Morgan. I love you," he whispered.

We looked at one another for a heartbeat. I stared into his glimmering green eyes, which told everything; that he really was sorry, that he really did like me...

Suddenly I was leaning into him, and he was leaning into me, and I felt my heart race. Was I really about to kiss James? What might happen if I did let him? What would...my thoughts were interrupted by his lips, which were so close to mine I could feel his breath. And suddenly I knew; I wanted him to kiss me with such a strong desire it scared me.

Yet there still was that reluctant tug in my stomach. That doubt in my stomach telling me that the three words "I love you" are not just for me. That this is another trick and that'll he'll just make me look like a fool again in front of everyone. But then again wasn't that what I've always listened to in my life? The voice in my head? Don't I want to change that for once??

I made my decision.

I looked James in the eyes and took a long deep breath, savoring the moonlight and his closeness before asking "Are you going to kiss me are not?" A grin spread over his face. "I thought you'd never ask." He laughed, and then time stopped and his lips met mine. I felt as if I was floating off the ground, transported to a place I hadn't known. His lips were soft and tasted like James, like liquid sunshine and warmth. We broke apart and kissed again, and I felt my hands curl around his shoulders while his came to my hips, our heads tilted.

It was truly glorious; standing there, kissing in the moonlight like a scene out of one of my books, my heart lighter than the wind. And we finally did break apart I just wanted to kiss him again and again, wanted to feel that beautiful sensation. But I held back and watched as James smiled slyly, feeling my cheeks heat up. "Does that mean I get a second chance?" He said.

I chuckled weakly before dropping his hands and turning away. I could feel his stare following me, and from the corner of my eye I could see him move his lips out of their kissing position and quickly wipe them, his face heating up when he realized I wasn't going to kiss him again. "Morgan... what's wrong?" He asked, and I took a deep breath, hand still furled around the letter in my pocket, the constant reminder that I wasn't loved by my father.

But I was by James. And I knew that, but I also knew that despite the glory I'd just experienced, we just couldn't be together. The doubt had returned. He was the face of Hogwarts; the flirt, the master of pranks, laying down a legacy that would go down in Hogwarts history. I, on the other hand, was the unstable girl who can't put her guard down.

The girl who can't learn to love.

"James..." I said, turning to him and blinking away tears. He seemed so perfect there, standing in his stupid Alexander costume and his hair running flyaway in the wind, like a character from a book. Except this wasn't a book. This was life, and it was happening right in front of me.

James took a step towards me, and a freezing wind brought goosebumps to my arms. Suddenly James's hands were on my hips, and he leaned over to whisper to me. "Morgan, I know you're scared." He said, and the tears came down now. James turned and wiped down off my face, his eyes soft and gentle.

"I'm supposed to hate you." I whispered to him. And he ran his fingers through my hair. "And I'm supposed to hate you, but here I am." He said, and I pulled away. "James, I love you. But I can't learn to put my guard down... I've been hurt too many times before." I said, and just like that I was going into my shell, pulling myself back into that guarded place I knew for so long.

James nodded, and I noticed him stuff his hands in his pockets and bite his lip, his eyes glossing over as he blinked away a tear. "I understand." He said, his voice hoarse, and I turned away from his beautiful face, his lips that I so desperately wanted to kiss, and began to walk back to the castle, my heart as heavy as stone.

But I just couldn't love him. What if he left me like my father did? Because of him I couldn't love, I couldn't trust... and that's when it came to me, right as I was going to open the doors of the Great Hall. This was because of my father. And didn't I say I was never going to let him get to me again? Didn't I promise myself I would never be haunted by him again?

I choked out a sob, and tears streaming down my face I threw off my heels and ran back, feet flying over the tickling grass and heart beating in sync with the swishing wind, calling "James!" between sniffs. He was still in the garden, head in his hands, and when he saw me he stood up, and I noticed his cheeks were strewn with tears as well.

I threw myself into his arms and let him stroke my head, tears falling onto the ground around us. "I hate you." I whispered jokingly after I pulled myself together, feeling embarrassed at my tears, but my heart light. James grabbed my hand and looked in my eyes and I looked in his, and I knew that the road ahead would be hard. But I didn't care, because I was finally letting down my guard, finally letting go what had followed me around for so long.

Who knew James would be the one to break the spell?

"I hate you too." James said, and we began to walk around the garden, the moon brimming over the mountains, it's swooning, gorgeous fullness reflecting my heart.