"Here you go Mia. Take good care of this, its very important." I handed Mia the pearly white letter, and watched as with one last ruffle of her wings my owl flew from her perch on the Owelry window to the sky, letting out screeches of freedom as she flew away.

With a sigh I grabbed my book-bag and with one final glance at the curious gazes of the remaining owls I crept outside and walked down the halls quietly, basking in the morning Saturday sunlight pouring down from the windows.

As I walked down the corridors that led back to the Gryfindor girls common room, I recalled yesterdays quidditch tryouts and how good it had went.

I had spent hours after tryouts crossing names off my list for potential quidditch candidates, ink running low and head aching from comparing the pro's and con's of each players strengths and weaknesses.

Finally, around half past midnight, I had got an official list of players together, which after a restless nights sleep of dreams full of stray buldgers and bewitched quaffles I sent to Professor Mcgonagall in a letter.

Now I was strolling the hallways of Hogwarts restlessly, overthinking my decision for the quidditch team for the hundred millionth time.

What if I made a huge mistake? What if I messed up everything for Gryfindor this year? Thoughts swirled through my head like a hurricane, and I knew I needed some fresh air.

Quickening my pace, I sneaked my way out of the Great Hall doors and took a deep breath of crisp autumn air. The sky was a brilliant blue, and throwing off my cloak I broke into a jog.

Suddenly I was running as fast as I could, hair swinging around me. My thighs screamed with delight as they loosened up and stretched farther and farther, until I had ran around the whole lake and the quidditch field.

Running had always made me feel better, especially when I was sometimes haunted by the memories of my childhood and secrets.

I'm not one to be mysterious, but I do have one secret that if anyone would find out I would-

Well lets not think about that.

When I took a break to catch my breath I checked my watch and noticed that it was already eleven, one hour before our class trip to Hogesmade, where I was supposed to meet Gwen by the Great Hall doors.

Tying my cloak around my waist I did a quick stretch before jogging back to the castle, grabbing a quick piece of toast and then meeting Gwen.

My friend was cleaning her glasses lenses when I showed up and she smiled, the freckles dusting her face dancing in the sun.

"Hi Morgan!" She said cheerfully, and I took her arm, the two of us dashing giggly off to Hogesmade like the old friends we were.

I remember the first time I met Gwen like I know my own heartbeat. I was walking with Steph one beautiful November day, the leaves falling all around us, when I heard a sniffle from the side of me.

I turned and there I saw a hooded figure on a bench, reading a book and crying. I left an impatient Steph (she really wanted to eat dinner) to see what was the matter, and when I did Gwen looked up at me with tearful eyes, startled.

"Are you okay?" I had asked, watching as Gwen carefully closed her book and wiped her wet cheeks. "I'm fine," Gwen said, swallowing. "It's just this book is so sad!"

At that moment I knew Gwen would somehow be a part of my life. Soon after the encounter Steph, Gwen and I became fast friends, and the rest was history.

For our visit to Hogesmade, it was a blast. Gwen and I ate at the Three Broomsticks, shopped at some of the tiny boutiques, and bought some candy from Honeydukes just to throw it at each other until we collapsed into a heap of laughs.

It was so pleasant that it almost erased the thought of Steph deciding to go on a date with James instead of hanging out with us.

For some reason the thought made my stomach clench; why would Steph chose him over her friends? I was interrupted from my sullen thoughts when I felt Gwen tap my shoulder.

"Morgan, remember the time when my mum thought your mom was professor Mconagall and she went all off on her bad teaching skills on her since I was failing her class?"

At Gwen's words I busted out laughing, remembering how angry Gwen's muggle mum looked and how confused my mom was. It truly was a hilarious moment, and a real conversation starter.

Watching Gwen's shining face, I recalled that this was something I truly love about Gwen; She can make anything better with a joke and just have fun, unlike Steph who had to make everything a dramatic event.

I grabbed her hand with a smile, and the two of us went walking back to the castle, our shopping bags swinging from our hands.

When Gwen and I arrived back at the castle I spotted Steph arm and arm with James Potter, the two of them laughing over something.

The scene made my stomach churn with a strong feeling of jealousy that I'm ashamed of, and I was about to cluck disapprovingly when Gwen let out a small sigh.

"As much as I don't love Steph ditching us today, James is perfect for her. Don't you think so Morgan?" She said, looking at me inquiringly and I forced myself to nod.

"Yeah, totally." I said, watching with increasing dismay as suddenly James and Steph kissed, right there on the sidewalk, on there very first date. They then broke apart, holding hands and blushing bashfully. 

A tsunami of emotion crashed over me, filling in the cracks of my hearts, for reasons that I can't bring myself to say. All of my earlier happiness of being with Gwen was gone, and I felt tears threaten to fall so I took a deep breath and forced an extremely fake smile on my face.

"Wow, they're so cute," I said weakly, before turning Gwen away. "Let's give them some privacy." "Good idea," she said, winking at me, as if she actually thought I liked Steph and James relationship, like it wasn't bringing back a memory replaying over and over in my mind, like I was okay.

I walked back to the castle in a daze, nodding along to whatever Gwen said.

When Gwen parted with me to talk with an annoyed professor Slughorn I made my way back to my dorm room, almost running straight into professor Mconagall, who was ironically on her way to see me.

"Morgan," she said, pushing her glasses up her nose with a rare smile on her face.

"I absolutely approve of your choice for the Quidditch team! I just posted it in the Gryfindor common room. Get some rest and get ready for your first practice tomorrow! Oh and see you soon for HCT." She said cheerfully before pushing past me, yelling at some first year that was breaking a rule.

Her last sentence was it for me.

I ran into my empty dorm room and collapsed on my bed, tears streaming down my face, not noticing that my diary wasn't in my satchel anymore.

The life I was living was a lie...

Meanwhile students were happily returning from Hogesmade ready for dinner, while I sat on my bed, thinking about the one thing that broke me down every time.

I was so upset I forgot my worry of what James would do when he found out that he didn't make the quidditch team.