It's been three weeks since then...Three weeks since I last talked to Rick. I stayed with Carol for a while until I got my own little house. In the time that we spent apart a lot has happened, being attacked, we had lost a lot of people and Rick became a leader again, It wasn't something that was decided. It just happened naturally after the attack. Deanna seemed to have no clue where to go on from there and she looked to Rick for guidance. I, on the other hand, spent most of my time in my tiny house taking care of myself. I rarely came out unless it was necessary that I do and I got visits from Carol, Carl, and Daryl. They were concerned and had rights to be, but I always did my best to assure them that I was alright. At least I was alright physically. Emotionally, I was damaged and trying to pick up the broken pieces and find it somewhere in my heart to forgive Rick. In times like these holding a grudge and being resentful could lead to regret. Before the apocalypse, tomorrow was never promised but it always felt like it was vs now when tomorrow was definitely not promised, and you are hyperaware of it. Carl always tried to coax me back to their home. Telling me that his dad still loves me, that they all miss me and that he himself wished that I would come back. If he didn't say it I knew it would come up eventually in our conversations. I hadn't spoken to Rick himself in a while. I do see him when I sit outside on the porch swing for a breath of fresh air as I read. Sometimes we make eye contact and when we do I force myself up and go back into the house, sometimes he's too busy talking to someone to notice. I am grateful for those moments, they give me time to not worry about him coming towards me. Currently, I was in my house fixing myself breakfast, canned peaches, and pineapples. Once I got them into the bowl, I threw the cans away and grabbed a book. I sat down in the living room and ate as read. 

There was a knock on the door snapping me out of the world I submerged myself into and bringing myself back reality. I opened the door to see Carol. 
"You need to get out a little more you know, staying in this house all day won't do you any good." She said giving me a small smile. 

I let out a breathy laugh as I looked down at the ground then back up at Caroland smiled at her. "Hey, Carol and I know but...I feel fine here. I don't mind staying inside and reading all day." I say as I let her in and closed the door behind her. "Plus, I do go out and-" She interrupted me, knowing what I was going to say. 

"Sit on the porch swing, yea yea, I know." She said rolling her eyes and sat down. "But you need to do a little more, at least go beyond the porch...I know you don't because you don't want to bump into Rick but that's no excuse. No more sulking." She got up and got my shoes and handed them to me. "C'mon, put those on, You're going for a walk and while we're at it we'll go visit the doctor." She said sternly. 

I felt inclined to argue but once the shoes were in my hands and I looked up at Carol and seen the look on her face. I knew it was a battle that I already lost. I sat down and put my shoes on carefully then got back up. "Alright...I'm ready," I said softly and sighed.

She opened the door and went out before me and I followed close behind and closed the door before catching up to her strides as she began walking on the street. I walked beside her and looked straight ahead. I thought maybe my chances of seeing him would lessen if I looked in one direction. I did enjoy the gentle breeze and the warm yet delicate feel of the sun. As we kept walking I found myself being grateful that carol pulled me out of the house.  

"You know, I understand what Rick did to you was unforgivable but you should at least try to work things out...or at least tell him..." 

My mood dropped at the mention of it but I knew she was right, it was unnoticeable now but eventually, I would start showing signs. Before I could speak the devil himself appeared.

"Tell me what?" Rick asked looking at us stopping us dead in our tracks.

"It's nothing you need to worry about," Carol said to him and tried to move us around him but he grabbed my hands

"If it's nothing then tell me right now, you're still my wife....and I'm still your husband." He said looking at me as I snatched my arm away.

I looked back at him and scoffed as my blood boiled at the mention of our union. "Am I now? Am I really still your wife, surely doesn't seem like it Mr.Grimes." I hissed placing my hands on my hips. "When Jess was all over you, when you slept with her! What was I to you then? Because I sure as hell wasn't your wife..." I muttered crossing my arms. "You don't get to call me your wife after what you had done, Rick I spent every day for the longest time looking for you and the group, I thought I would never find you some days but I kept looking. I had gotten kidnapped once or twice following the wrong set of tracks, for fuck sake I was lucky I knew how to get away! I remained faithful, I kept going and I kept fighting! But dammit, you looked and then gave up and when you gave up you fucked someone else....." I sneered and wiped the stray tears that went down my face.  "A year...I can see...but Rick...we had only been separated for a couple of weeks and you were already on top of someone new?" I questioned. "Did you ever really love me?" 

"Can we please talk about this in private...maybe take this somewhere else?" He suggested trying to grab my hand and I quickly snatched away. 

"Answer the question." I snapped at him, my foot was tapping impatiently as I crossed my arms. Deep down I was trying to keep myself from slapping him then kissing him. I missed him, I'd be a liar to deny it. But I had a resentment in my heart that wouldn't allow me to forgive him and run into his arms and kiss him all over his stupid face.

"Of course, I love you...I still do (Y/n) I never stopped," He said quietly and got closer. "I won't lie. I did you wrong I did. But I do love you..." He said getting closer and I stepped away.

I shook my head and scoffed. "I'm heading back to the house," I say to Carol as I continue to walk away, feeling just as hurt as I did 3 weeks ago, this hurt being fueled by anger this time. I stormed inside and slammed the house door. I helplessly collapsed onto the couch and curled up holding my stomach.

After calming down a bit, I took deep breaths and got up to go into the bathroom. I washed my face and pat my face dry with a dry towel as I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were slightly red a little puffy. But not as bad as it was about 3 weeks ago when I couldn't even pull myself out of bed and my eyes were nearly bloodshot.

There was a knock on the door and I looked up at the ceiling and breathed heavily through my nose and closed my eyes, I wholeheartedly hoped that it wasn't Rick. I wasn't ready to face him, especially after what happened today. I walked towards the window and let out a sigh of relief as I saw Carl holding Judith. 

I opened the front door and gave him a small smile. "Hey Carl..." I say then caressed Judith's cheek and kissed her forehead. "Hey sweet girl." I cooed to her softly and let them in.

"Hey, mom, I...heard what happened between you and dad today.." He almost hesitated to say it.

I looked at him and gently took Judith from him and held her.  "Sorry, I'm really sorry you're caught in the middle of all this." I sighed and sat down and listened to Judith coo and babble. I honestly felt sorry for the kid. Being caught up in this world and caught between us. He's been through so much, I'd hate the idea that I'm putting him through any more trouble.

"It's ok, really. What dad did was wrong, I can see both perspectives....I understand where you're coming from. I really do feel like you should give him a chance...We really miss you.." He said sitting down and smiling at me. 

I nodded along but then looked back at him when he was done speaking. "You know I miss you all to, but I don't know If I can trust your father completely...and I learned that trust if the very foundation of any great relationship..." 

"You can't build you trust from in here." He muttered. 

Smart-ass kid with a fair point, I scoffed playfully and smiled. "Alright smart-ass," I said softly.

"Can I say hi to my little brother?" He asked looking at my stomach. 

I laughed a bit and rolled my eyes playfully. "What makes you think it's a boy?" I asked placing my free hand on my hip, the other holding Judith. 

"Because we have enough girls in the house." He laughed and I laughed along, Carl never failed to bring the joy back into my life. Whether it be on purpose or not, he always made me smile. No matter what he was always gonna be my son. 

"I disagree, but yes, you can say hi to the baby.." I said softly as I pulled my shirt up slightly to reveal the small bump on my belly that had been hidden by the oversized shirts I wore to hide the bump.

I sighed softly as I walked inside the house thinking back on the conversation we had, the first conversation we've had in 3 weeks, weeks where I needed her most but I couldn't have her. Carol and Daryl suggested that I give her space. But after hearing that she needed to tell me something I couldn't help but wonder what. My only hope being, that whatever it is that she's alright and that it doesn't have anything life-threatening attached to it. I sat down on the couch and ran my hands over my hair some of my fingers combing through my hair as I tried to relax into the couch. But the idea of a secret being kept from me plagued my thoughts, I didn't know it if it was bad or good, If it was something effecting her alone, maybe or even the entire community. I heard Carl come back inside the house. I knew he visited her more often than not. Especially recently. He wouldn't tell me much other than she's doing alright and that I don't have to worry about her. I figured he had to know something.

I turned to look at him. "Hey Carl..." 

He looked at me then walked over and sat beside me, adjusting Judith to sit in his lap. "Yea, dad?"

"Is there something you're not telling me about your mom..." I asked looking at him inquisitive.  "If you do I suggest you tell me now," I say hunching over and resting my elbows on my knees as I looked at him. 

"Dad...I....that's not for me tell..." He said playing with Judith's hair.

"Carl....Tell me." I say firmly.

"Fine, she's pregnant...But she wanted to tell you herself." Carl let out a loud huff. 

I straightened up immediately and looked at him in disbelief. "What?" I say not sure I had heard him correctly. I couldn't have, I don't think I did.

"I said...Mom's pregnant." He muttered and began bouncing his foot to lul Judith to sleep, it was time for her nap.

I fell back against the couch in shock, I felt like I was stuck in a haze upon hearing such news, big news. I started to wonder why I hadn't been able to tell myself. I had two children, yet I couldn't see the signs of pregnancy...Maybe because I had been away from her so long, how would I been able to tell. Though she did seem a little more docile than usual when we first reunited. Maybe that was why.

"Dad..." Carl said softly, he called me out of my thoughts and I looked at him.

"Yea, Carl?" I say looking at the floor. 

"I feel like you should go see her yourself and talk to her in private. You both need time, alone together. Even if mom doesn't want to admit it or realize it." He said honestly. 

I sighed softly. "You're right, maybe I should." I got up and took deep breaths before heading out of the door towards her house. 


I had finally calmed down and went back to reading on the couch while simultaneously running my hand over the small bump, It was soothing and something I couldn't help doing since sometimes I wasn't sure if it was real myself. I started to realize I wasn't really reading the book, I was mostly staring at the pages of the opened book as I let my thoughts consume me. My mind replayed my run-in with Rick earlier. I started to wonder if maybe I was being slightly overdramatic. 

There was a knock on the door causing me to jump slightly and turn my attention to it. I got up and slowly opened it and slowly looked up as I came face to face with Rick Grimes. 

"Can we talk?" He asked leaning against the doorway and looked around slightly before looking at me. 

Can't rebuild trust locking myself in here...

I nodded and back up to let Rick inside, I sat down on the couch and he closed the door then sat beside me. 

"Now, you don't have to do much talking but please listen and hear me out..." Rick said looking at me. "I acknowledge and take full responsibility for my wrongdoings. I know what I did was wrong and I wish I would have kept searching for you more. Like you did. I wish I didn't give up so quickly and If I could take back that night with Jess I would." He rambled and moved closer. 
"(Y-Y/n)....When I first arrived in Alexandria and thought that you were gone for good I was a wreck...It was like...Losing Lori but worse. I didn't know for sure what had happened to you." He said as I saw a tear go down his face, he grabbed my hand and I let him this time. I felt softened by his words. I saw how much pain he was in and it hurt me to see him this way. Even is it was just a stray tear. I knew with Rick it was more to it than he was willing to show sometimes. "I felt lost and I felt like I was mourning you with no real way of getting closure. Jess came around and she reminded me of you..the little things...Like how sweet you were but you would do anything if it meant that the people closest to you were safe. I wasn't thinking about it. But there wasn't a connection. Not one in the slightest and I never meant to hurt you. I promise I won't ever do it again if you could please give me another chance, please forgive me and let me a chance to redeem myself. I promise it won't happen ever again. You mean the world to me and I love you so much and I don't want to lose you. I want to be able to hold you in my arms again and kiss you every morning-" 

I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him into a kiss and he kissed back, I felt the tears go down my face as I did. I felt him pull me into his lap and grabbed my hips and pulled me closer into him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he cupped my cheek, deepening the kiss.  I slowly pulled away then slapped him, not too hard but hard enough to hurt. "That's for cheating on me." I leaned in and kissed him softly.  "And that's for coming to apologize and put up with me." 

He held his cheek for a second but smiled and kissed me again. "I love you Mrs.Grimes." 

I laughed softly and wiped the tears away and smiled at him. "I love you too, Mr.Grimes...So much...We both love you."

Rick ran his hand along my stomach. "I'm gonna be a dad again huh?"

I giggled softly and smiled and furrowed my eyebrows slightly."Carl told you?" 

"I might have got it out of him." He muttered. 

I laughed and shook my head as I kissed him again. "Nothing gets past you sheriff." I joked. 

"Now, will you finally come back to the house." 

I giggled and held onto him and nodded. "Yea...Let's grab my stuff so we can go home."

Rick and I packed up what little belongings I had in the tiny house and went back to the place which I happily called home. Nothing was perfect we had our share of arguments petty and justified. But no matter what we made it, I had forgiven him and our trust was built again. As time went on the baby grew. Everyone was excited for the new baby and Daryl teased Rick for getting Lori and I pregnant during such crazy times. After nine months of trying times, seeing as it was my first child. We gave birth to our son. Who we named Daniel Grimes. Carl was more than happy about having a baby brother, not so happy with the idea of helping out since Daniel wasn't the only one in diapers. Judith didn't seem to like sharing the attention but she had grown used to it and eventually grown out of the diapers. As time went by we were faced with trial after trial and lost many along the way but no matter what our family stayed strong and together. We weren't the best and the timing wasn't either but nonetheless we were flawed but perfect family and I couldn't have asked for better.