After what feels like an eternity of an endlessly emotional and treacherous journey to try to find my group and my husband again. I finally gave up, right when I gave up, like a plot twist to the story. I arrive at the gates of Alexandria in seek of refuge for a while. I hadn't gotten any decent sleep in so long. Being that I was a woman all alone in this cruel and ruthless world I had to always be alert and just as ruthless to show my power. I weakly looked up at the guards that were guarding the gate and quietly pleaded with what little energy I had left to be let in. I didn't know if there was a God watching over us anymore but I was hoping that if there was that they lead me to a safe place. I was happy to find out that luck was on my side and my prayers had been answered. When I was let in the gate I was greeted to the sight of a community that had been seemingly untouched by the apocalyptic wasteland that I had endured surviving through for longer than I could recall. 
A place they called 'Alexandria'. I saw smiles and happiness and it was everything opposite of what I was used to, I was slightly skeptical that it was altogether safe and rightfully hesitant to give up my weapons even when  I was guaranteed that I was safe. I planned to stay only for a limited amount of time. Enough time for me to fully recover, rejuvenate and restock. I wasn't going to get attached to anyone else after losing my group....my family. I lost hope that staying in a group was safe. It only lead to pain in loss and in my head, I was better alone. 

"What's your name sweetheart?" The sweet lady who was apparently the 'leader' of the place next to her husband. 

I looked at the camera and then looked back at her as I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. "Why  are you recording this? Is it really necessary that you do?" 

Deanna explained to me why she recorded with a brief explanation. 

I nodded with a showing that I understood however, I still didn't buy into her explanation at the time. "My name....My name is....(Y/n)..." I say looking between her and the camera.

The nodded with a warm smile. "(Y/n), where are you coming from?" 

I pulled at my sleeves as I looked around wearily, trying to be cautious as possible but my need for sleep was dawning down on me heavily. "Uhm....Specify please..." I ask politely as my gaze flickered momentarily at the camera. 

"Where are you coming from? Where did you live last?" She asked trying to capture my attention by moving into my view when I looked at the camera. "Pretend the camera isn't there." 

I nodded quickly and looked down. "Uhm...I was..with a group in a prison...We moved around quite a lot...but then I lost them when we all got separated. I've been searching for them for quite a while..." I confess as I picked at some string coming from the end of my frayed shorts. "I've stopped looking for them. There's no use to it at this point..." I sighed softly and shrugged.

Deanna seemed to involuntarily tilt her head to the side as she looked at me. "You said you come from a group who lived in a prison?" She seemed shocked by the detail. 

I nodded. "It's not like we had proper housing options like you have here in your sanctuary," I say looking outside the windows. 
 
"What ran you out of the prison?" She asked curiously, seeming like she knew something and that kind of set me on edge wondering where she was going with this. 

I furrowed my eyebrows slightly. "Why does it matter precisely?" I say being guarded.  

She smiled a little. "I'll explain soon." She glanced at my wedding ring, a symbol of love between my husband and I and a reminder of the small, short but sweet wedding ceremony. "I see you you're married...or you were." 

I fiddled with it as I looked at it and swallowed the lump in my throat as pain quickly gripped my chest at the mention of it. I gave a curt nod. "Yea...I'm...- I was married....I had...stepchildren...though I loved them and will always love them as if they were my own.." I as I try not to bawl my eyes out on the spot. I missed them so much. 

"...Well.....I have a group that lives here, they arrived here not too long before you did." She began to explain as she took her glasses off and looked at me, giving her full attention. "Their leader explained to me, that he and his group moved a lot starting from a camp in Atlanta, then they recently came from a prison when they're facility was attacked by a rivaling group...They all met up at a place called Terminus which was another bad group of people before after approximately weeks on the run they met up with one of my recruits which got them here." 

I perked up and my heart picked up speed at the perfect detail of the unfortunate events my group stumbled upon. I looked at her however I was incapable of bringing myself to speak. I just stared at her half hoping it was them but at the same time very doubtful.

"The leader also mentioned that." She sighed softly and gave me a larger smile. "He had lost his second wife...he had been looking for her but he never find her. Is your husband-"

"Rick Grimes.." I breathed out while a smile began to form on my face as I began to go into a state of hysteria, As I laughed happily and tears began to spill from my eyes. "Where is he?- The group? Where are they?" I asked getting up, I was ready to see them not being able to wait any longer. 

"I'll call him over." She said getting up and going over to someone who left and I sat impatiently. Everything was beginning to take a good turn and I couldn't be happier. 


Rick walked in and locked eyes with me and my body knew what to do before my mind did. I was in his arms with my lips on his, I kissed him with great urgency. I never felt I would see him again, but here he is in front of me, alive, breathing and well-groomed. I could feel the urgency and the emotion that he poured into the kiss as tears went down my face. "Rick..." I said softly. 

"(Y/n)...." He whispered softly and kissed me again. "You're okay.." He said in disbelief. 

I laughed softly and ran my hands through his hair as I nodded. "Yea, I'm ok, I'm alive and you're alive and-" 

He kissed me deeply cupping my cheeks with his shaky hands. "I missed you so much..." He said softly and held me close. 

Deanna smiled at us both. "Rick...I'll trust that you'll help her get settled in." 

Rick gave Deanna a small nod before turning to me. "I will." He said kissing me again and holding my hand firmly he lead me out of the house and to the one he was living in with Judith and Carl. 

Before getting settled in I took my time making sure I got to see everyone in the group. They were all my family and I missed all of them more than I can possibly say. Once I had gotten everyone including Daryl, who was like a brother to me as he was to Rick. I went to our new home. Before anything, I was told that they had hot water. I knew the first order of business was taking a shower and it was indeed the first thing I did. I basked in the glory of the hot water that cascaded down my body. I was not surprised when Rick slipped into the shower and wrapped his arms around me and kissed my shoulder blade making the smile on my face grow wider as I leaned into him more before I turned around and kissed him deeply as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders loosely, allowing myself to feel the butterflies fluttering in my stomach, ever since the first-ever kiss I always felt them and that was how I knew what we had was absolutely real and bound to be long-lasting. Rick held me close as if he felt that if he let me go I dissipate with the steam that fogged up within the 4 walls of the bathroom. 

"I love you.." He said softly against my lips as he ran his thumb along my cheek. 

"I love you too Mr.Grimes," I say resting my head against his chest, relaxing as his heartbeat bringing me to a peaceful state of mind. I felt extremely lucky and happy that this moment was real and that I had him back...

'What did I do to deserve this?' 

Once we got out, I put on the fresh set of clothing that was provided for me. While dressing I noticed something white and lacey slightly peeking out from under the bed, I was going to pick it up when Rick caught my attention. 

"(Y/n), dinner's ready." He said smiling at me as he grabbed my hand and kissed my forehead. I couldn't help the giddy giggled that fell from my mouth.  Rick lead me downstairs to the table where I fed Judith and ate as I talked with Carl and Rick, I had a lot of catching up to do. It felt good to have my family back. Everything felt...Perfect. It was a perfect day. 

Soon, I put Judith to sleep and heard a knock on the door downstairs. Rick was already downstairs cleaning up the kitchen, so I was sure he answered. 

I went downstairs eager to see who it was, Rick mentioned we had new group members. I was surely hoping that was one of them and that I could meet them. However, that all changed quite quickly when I saw a blonde woman with her arms around Rick's shoulders as she kissed him lovingly I would. I felt my legs threatening to give out as I clutched onto the stair rail as I took in the scene before me. It felt like my lungs were closing and I couldn't breathe as the welled up in my eyes and began falling down my face just as the memories began to flash through my mind. Every perfect moment with him, Every hug, every kiss, every flirtatious remark, romantic and unforgettable moment, Our wedding, our first kiss. All the butterflies that ever erupted in my stomach that he caused with even the slightest touch. It all felt like poison now, A slow killing poison, The butterflies were killed with the pesticide in front of me. I couldn't help but collapse to the floor. I want to forget I ever saw this, I just found Rick after losing myself for weeks, not sure if I would see him or if he was even alive. I wanted to pinch myself and forget I ever saw what happened, The man I loved, the man I had allowed myself to be completely vulnerable to was kissing another woman...I just wanted to live in ignorant bliss...I just want to preserve this perfect day...

Rick pulled away and looked at me upon hearing the thud of my knees hitting the hardwood floor. "(Y/n).." He said walking towards me. 

I clutched my stomach as I cried silently. "No..." I could barely speak. 

"Listen...I was going to tell you this...I-I..." He sighed. "I thought you were dead and I-Jess was there and we..."

I covered my ears as I cried not wanting to hear it. "I don't want to know, please stop, spare me the details I just want to keep remembering this perfect day..." I sobbed softly with my hand over my mouth. 

"I was going to tell her you were back and that...we couldn't see each other anymore..." Rick said getting in front of me trying to comfort me. I pushed him away and finally gathered the strength to run away and I ran as fast as I could knowing he would follow me. Then I hid once I couldn't run away. I leaned against the house I was hiding behind and sobbed silently covering my mouth to keep myself from letting out any noise. 

'What did I do to deserve this?'