I know I do not deserve her…

I know I do not deserve her

But her beautiful face

My heart longs to see

She walks with an enticing grace

With her simple, elegant clothes

Crafted with cotton, highlighted with a lace

Even without any make up, she still makes my heart beat faster

Even to look at her is a moral crime

For the darkness of my life

Would fade away all her shine

I know I do not deserve her

But together I want us to be

With all the dark things that I do

I know that she is nothing but a faraway shining star

Having her for me was only a dream ajar

With those pretty innuendo blues

When she winks her lashes, my heart flutters, skips a beat

About which she hasn’t any clues

My sanity has been buried deep in my soul

Dreaming of her is nothing but a foul

I know I do not deserve her

But I couldn’t help wait for her everyday

A short glimpse, that twitch of her lips

Has become my appetite of the day

The way she sways her hands in the air

The beaming white teeth under her luscious pinks

Then she laughs with all her might

The disheveling of her chest that shows she’s alive

All I can afford is to observe and admire

For I am nothing but a cold hearted murderer

I know I do not deserve her

Still I try and cross paths with her

Eyes falling for the precious feet under

Those silver, pink and white sandals

Yesterday that single glance of hers was directed at me

Made my heart go bouncing with quick pedals

For the first time did I feel my life worth living

But my love for her had to be omitted

With evils like kidnapping extortions and even robbery

The truth of my reality better be buried

So I simply walked off; looking away

I know I do not deserve her

But together I want us to be

With all the dark things that I do

I know that she is nothing but a faraway shining star

Having her for me is only a dream ajar

With those pretty innuendo blues

When she winks her lashes, my heart flutters, skips a beat

About which she hasn’t any clues

My sanity has been buried deep in my soul

Dreaming of her is nothing but a foul

I know I do not deserve her

Still I follow her, oblivion is she

About my presence, glad I am to be

For I have nothing that I’d want to shower her with

Be it basics, luxuries or the worldly pleasantries

Yes but I promise, her body be evicted of the bruises

That she’s been carrying daily

Ever day at new places

Yesterday was elbow, today on her chin

She strains and winces, still pretending it to be nothing

An unfortunate accident which her words fail to apprehend

I wish, I desire, I long to help

Only if my life wasn’t one way hell- a dead end.

I know I do not deserve her

Yet I dare to stand in front of her, speaking to her in silence

As we stood staring at each other, muted

But speaking language of love, emitting our mutual feelings

If I loved her, she secretly loved me more

Having nothing to offer

Since my past would only be a futuristic disaster

I couldn’t and I wouldn’t mingle my destiny with hers

All I did was apologise, wanting to hear her musical voice

And she opened her mouth only to mutter sweetness.

I ran away from her happy and delighted

For I could cherish her words ‘I care’

For rest of my life which was wrecked and mutilated.

I know I do not deserve her

And I thought our feelings would soon vanish

But the words of the angelic beauty had hummed deep

Having not seen her made me insane, maniac and restless

So like a possessive lover, I hunted her like a stalker

For an affirmation, a simple confirmation

That she is safe, happy and contended

Wherever she is, though without me

What lay in front of me was an antagony

Pricked on her delectable body were syringes, needles and tubes

For she killed herself, tired of domestic abuse

I cried and it magnified, I knew it was my fault

I left her when she needed me most

All because I was scared to be out of my personal gloom

I know I do not deserve her

So I try and change

Changing flowers of her hospital room

I waited till her eyes bloom

That would be the day I’d wish her good bye

But from a distance, curse was my presence

I was the reason she was assaulted

As deciphered by my recruiters

Being madly fallen for her, I was no good for the job

So I promised to be away

Still keeping on her a close eye

Ensuring she’d had enough to suffer

And I will continue to love her

For with her love in my heart

The harsh world of mine was still a better place

I know I do not deserve her

Still I cannot see the way

She cries to be with me

She’s ready to accept all the consequences, no matter what

Tears in her eyes, love in her heart, she disagrees

To accept the fate that I decided for her and me

She washed away all my stubbornness

Clasping my hands in hers, she makes me believe

Not curse, our love’s nothing but a bless

Together we flee to a new world

Which was devoid of crimes and assaults

Where peace and harmony were the neighbours

An impeccable dream we tried to fulfill

But it was only a bullet away

I know I do not deserve her

When I can feel her blood

Shot by my boss in my arms she lay

Her guardian had a crueler act

Feeding us with poison

He wanted to take our breath away

I still smiled at their distress

Because our love was blessed

I was the not the one to give away

If we die we’d be together in each others arms

With the ones we loved

Yet I choose to fight till I am alive

The love we have for each other

I know is much stronger

So I know now

Whether I deserved her or not

Or she deserved me or not

With immortal love in our platter

We both deserved each other…

Coz we loved each other…

---shachi1298