Dedicated to trippshwty

Question of the day: "What do you expect from a love relationship?"

"If you don't heal what hurt you, then you'll bleed on people who didn't cut you."

****

I don't know I long I stare at my desk, but when the afternoon light from one of the windows of my office begins to fade, I realize it's going to be dark soon.

This entire month was full of talks in meetings with my friends and family, where I smiled a lot. And then the nights came where I cried a lot every time I missed mom. So I thought there was an even balance of happiness and sadness in my life, but no. Apparently, the God thinks my life doesn't have an equal balance of happiness and sadness present. Because in the last few hours I have cried so much, my eyes are completely dried out.

I am still on the floor, curled in a ball, thinking what the hell I did with Nathan and Nan.

In my life, I have always hurt the ones I have loved the most. Beginning from my mom to now my friends.

The sudden knock on my door startles me. I guess it must be Blyton. "I'll check whatever file you have later, Blyton." My voice cracks at the end, as if I just came off giving a 90 minute speech. I hope he doesn't notice.

"We are not your stupid assistant!" Ouch. Paste's words would have hurt Blyton if he heard it.

"I am not stupid!" That's definitely Blyton's voice.

"Open up, Zara. We need to talk." And that must be Claire. Maybe I should have been a voice recognizing app rather than a businesswoman. I seem good at it.

"We would have opened the door on our own by force, but we know you are on the floor. So get up already."

"How do you know that?"

"'Cause you have a damn window!" Oh. My office has two windows. One overlooks the view outside of the building while the other shows the clear view of the bakery. How was I so stupid not to notice- "Now open up, Zara!" Paste's voice startles me so much, I stand up and obediently open the door. She and Claire pushes past me before I can even get a word out. Blyton gives me a once over, shakes his head, and goes out. I wonder what that was about. I close the door again, but I cannot muster up the courage to look back at them, because I know that they saw my unnecessary screaming match with Nate.

"What was that about?" I shake my head as more tears fall. Yet, I'm unable to answer Paste's question.

"Hey," Claire comes up by my side and hugs me from behind. "Won't you tell us what's wrong, sis?" She says. I would have smiled right now if it weren't for the enormous guilt making me feel terrible.

"I don't know," is all I can say.

"You don't know? Seriously!? You broke the poor boy's heart!" I wince. I get that Paste is angry at me. She likes Nate a lot. But her words don't hurt any less.

"Hey." Claire warns Paste while putting a comforting hand on my back. She slowly turns me and walk till I'm seated in my office chair. She's treating me like I'm a wounded animal. I guess in a way I am right now. "Please tell us what happened."

I bring them up to date, all the while dabbing tissues in my eyes and choking. When I am finished, they're quiet. I feel so bad but mostly I feel clueless. If there's one thing I know, I want to rectify whatever I did. I just don't know how.

"Don't you think you overreacted a tad bit too much?" I nod.

"Overreacted? More like ruined. You know how some hyped up things are a total let down when you actually get them? Like you save up for an expensive perfume for months but when you finally buy it, it smells like shit? Zara and Nate are like that. I waited seven years to see them together and now she broke it off." I'm about to say that she just should smell the perfume before buying it, but I refrain because I don't want to get shouted at.

"I didn't break it off! I just fucked up!"

"Well you fucked up really bad."

"Paste please." Claire turns to me. "Please tell me one thing, Zara. Why do you have so much problem with long distance relationships?" I sigh. That's a question I have been asking myself for a long time and frankly, the answer was right in front of me. I just never noticed.

"Remember how Uncle Frank had such a good relationship with us and your mom? We were like a happy family. But then the business started to grow, and he started staying at work longer. Then he started going out with us less and less till he never took us out again. At least we would see him every day. But then the business trips started, and we didn't see him for months. He would never talk to us when we were home. He would never look at your mom even if she dressed up nice." I look up at Claire and there are tears there. "he was the only father figure I had. And then I saw our entire house go down to ashes just because of a little distance, Claire. I don't want it to happen again."

"But Nate said he was going to Australia for 10 days. It wasn't like he was going for an entire month." Paste says.

"I know." I say. "I know I definitely overreacted. But just when he said that all I could think about was how these small things can turn into bigger ones, you know. Like an infection." Paste looks at me quizzically. "I mean Uncle's first trip was only a week. And on the second trip, it became two weeks. Then gradually, it went from weeks to months..."

"I know what you mean Zara, I do. But you have to realize blowing up on Nate like that wasn't something the poor boy deserved. He at least came to tell you he was leaving. If it were others I know, they wouldn't even have bothered informing me."

"Like whom?" I ask.

"That's not important. Paste says quickly. "What's important is that you have to realize that verbal abuse isn't the way to getting your say."

"I wasn't abusing Nate, Paste."

She's about to say something but Claire stops her. She puts a hand over both of mine and looks me in the eye. "You may not realize it, but the things you say or do have an effect on others. The way you overreacted with Nate has hurt him and you can't take back the things you have said. What Paste meant by abuse was that you hurt his feelings. You have to find a way to apologize."

"You're right." I get up from my seat.

"Where are you going?"

"To apologize."

"Nate won't forgive you just like that. You have to prove that you mean it. Paste's words confuse me.

"How?"

"By changing, I guess?"

"No, you shouldn't have to change yourself for anyone. You just have to show him you care, Zara. I am your sister. I know you are not rude by nature. You just speak the truth even though it's bitter. But what you said to Nate was rude. You have to make him understand your true feelings and tell him the truth about why you said those things."

"You mean I have to let go of this 'insecurity' that I feel and tell him I am sorry?" I put air quotes.

"No. Paste says. "Show him you're sorry. Make him things you know he likes. Do things you know he'll enjoy. And yeah apologize, of course. Luckily, you have 10 days to think about it."

I look at both of them standing there like two angels who brought me the Holy Grail in my hour of need. I go and hug them both tightly, grateful to have them in my life. "You guys are motherfucking lifesavers." I say. I'm still clinging to them, both my arms pulling them in tightly. "But clarify one thing. Why can't I just go today?"

"Because he needs to think you have suffered a lot."

"And I will because the guilt will be killing me." I answer Paste.

"That's the point. You have hurt him, so you suffer in return." Claire says. "Don't contact him about the next 10 days. Let him be with his parents." I nod.

The next 10 days will be complete agony.

A/n: OK, so my exms have been okay so far! i woke up to 169 notifications today, lol! and i changed the updating schedule to Thursday and Saturday.

So, tell me. What do u think of this chapter so far? 

What are ur thoughts on Paste, Claire and Zara's frndship?

Do u think Claire and Paste gave her good advices? 

Have a nice day ahead peeps! Happy reading!!!