Dedicated to MariaMansfield

Question of the day: "What's Something You Want to Learn or Wish You Were Better At?"

"Don't ruin other people's happiness because you can't find your own."

****

Paste doesn't even have a chance to breathe before I assault her with the news. "Nate and I slept together 10 days ago and went on the date yesterday. I feel like we're a thing now."

"Wow, ok," she says, nodding, as she takes a seat. "I don't know, Zars, that feels like a little too soon, doesn't it?"

"I know, I thought the same at first, but ironically it doesn't feel like that at all. I am just so... I can't explain." You'd laugh if you saw the goofy smile on my face.

She shakes her head. "When Eli and I started dating I'd feel like that too. But it took us 3 months to become official. So, I don't know, Zara. I always rooted for you two, but..." I am saved by Claire. Whatever Paste had in her mind, stays in it. Claire sits and we start talking about the game last night.

Unfortunately, I can't hear most of what they're talking about since Eli and Nan are continuously texting me. Nan wants to know which clothes will look good on her baby. My phone is already filled with loads of pink and blue onesies and to think that she doesn't even know the babies gender yet! At least Eli's being more sensible and asking me about Aragain. (It is really close to our heart.)

Being in a friend group is tough. And being in a big one is a nightmare since I have so many family and friends, it is hard to give them all time in equal amounts. It's like if you talk to a word with one another wants to talk 10 more words with you. I sigh as I'm replying to Eli's text, when the chatter around me goes suddenly quiet. I look up from my phone to see Claire's face, but she is quietly looking behind me. Before I can look behind I feel a pair of lips claim my cheeks and I smile almost immediately.

"Hello ladies." I hear Nate say. "May I steal Zara for a moment?"

I smile at them and stand up and suddenly Nate grabs me and walks off to a quiet corner. As he looks at me, he seems a little scared and not at all sweet like he sounded a few seconds ago when he greeted me. Has something bad happened? Okay, his behavior has me scared.

He takes a deep breath and I see his face come back to a normal calm expression. I hope there's nothing to worry about.

"Hi." He sounds breathless as he smiles. Thank Lord. I was getting over my head, surely.

"Hi." I reply, a little breathless myself at the sight of him. It's surprising how affected I am by just his presence.

"So how are you?" What a weird question to ask only a day after a date.

"I am fine?"

"Was that a question?" He looks at me, unsure. I give him my 'cut the crap right now' look because the anticipation of why he is here is killing me. "Never mind. I was here to tell you something." He pauses and takes a breath. It's a long pause.

"And that something is?" I inquire, leaning forward. Then a thought makes me stop. Is he breaking up with me? I mean we're not even together yet, but I think we are. But I guess he doesn't think that. Does he think that? What if he wants to call us off even before we are properly together?

Nate swipes a hand in front of me, bringing a stop to my internal freak out session. I look up at him. "I'm going to Australia for 10 days. My parents want me there."

I stare at him for 10 solid seconds before speaking. "Of all the things you could say, I didn't expect that." Nate genuinely looks confused now. He should be. Can't he understand that's exactly why I had broken up with him seven years ago? Because I didn't want this stress and strain of a long distance relationship. I have seen my family come apart because of-urgh! And here is this dumbass, doing exactly the thing for which we got separated in the 1st place.

I laugh. "Why are you here to tell me this? Do you want to break up- wait no. Do you want to stop dating me?"

Shock overtakes his beautiful features. "What? No! I am-"

"Then why are you saying this to me? This is exactly why I didn't want to date you!" My voice has reached a sharp peak. Deep down I know he has no fault, but his ignorance of the fact has me pissed off.

"What do you mean?" I hear hurt in his voice. I'm aware that people around are staring at us, but I just don't care right now.

"I meant that if you had planned to go to Australia before, you should have told me! You know, I don't want to have a long distance relationship. If you have to travel so much, I don't have to be with you! I should just leave you alone, just like you should let me!" Whoa, where did that aggression come from?

I said everything looking at the floor, so when I bring my eyes to his, I see so much heartache that it makes me want to wallow. He speaks with a thickness that can only be sadness. "I need to go to Australia 'cause my Dad had a stroke. He is fighting for his life right now."

When his words register in my brain, I immediately regret my words. My face scrunches up in worry and I start to walk towards him. But he puts a hand up, motioning me to stop.

"So, I am sorry if things in my life happen a bit suddenly that I forget to inform you, your Highness. But I do hope you come out of your shell of self-pity and look around the world to know that others have problems of their own too." With that he pushes past me, leaving me derailed with guilt. Tears spring to my eyes, so I leave the restaurant and fly upstairs to my office, never looking back for Paste or Claire. When I close the door, I slide down to the floor, disgusted with myself.

Why did I have to blow up so suddenly at Nate?
Or better yet, why do I have so much problem with long distance relationships?
Or why did his parents have to go to Australia? Were they not happy here in America?

God, I hate my life sometimes! And now I'm blaming my mistakes on others!

"Damn it.' I mutter when the continuous tears fall on my phone. It l lights up on my touch and I wince when I see more pictures from Naomi. My blood strangely boils at the sight, so I press call.

She picks it up in one smooth ring. "Hey, Za-"

"Of all the people in the world, why did you call me?" I had that question in my mind for quite some time.

"What do you mean? You just called me."

"Not right now. The day when Kai hit you. Why did you call me?" I can practically see her happy face wince at my mention of 'hit'. When a minute passes with no reply, I answer my own question. "You called me because you know I had an abusive father. I never met him, but you thought since my mom went through something like that, I would know what to do since I was her daughter. When you called me, you said, "Kai pushed me down the stairs. I am pregnant." You know why you said that? Because you knew you should leave him. At least for the baby. You just needed confirmation from me. I knew it. I had it in my mind for a while. I didn't say it 'cause I knew it wouldn't make a difference. You are so lovesick-" I stop because she hangs up on me. I know she's crying right now because I hurt her. I too, cry and bury myself in even more guilt for hurting another person close to me. 

A/N: So i woke up pretty happy today for some weird reason (i saw a RLLY GREAT dream) and I thought the people deserve an update. I am thinking of changing the updating plan from 'weekly updates on Thursday" to 'updates on every Thursday and Saturday'. Or shud it be any other day? wht do u guys think?

Plus, after the delay, my school announced my exms will be form 7th Oct. to 22nd Oct. But don't worry, tho i'll remain inactive during tht time, I WILL update.

Anyways, this was a sad chapter, isn't it?

What did u think of their, *coughs*, useless fight? does this make u think tht the blurb may be wrong and they aren't made for each other after all?

Do u think Zara has issues? (my frnd Marian thinks she has LOADS.)

I personally HATED how Zara behaved with Nan. I don't think she deserved tht. Wbu?

Have a nice day guys!!!!!