Flashback: December 2022

iMessage

DEC 3 | 9:45 PM

Miles Ivan Castellano
naihm, grabe.
it feels like i haven't sat down for hours. this is what i hate kapag foundation days!
so many things to organize, and everyone's expecting me to be everywhere.

Naihm Lee Alvarado
ugh, I feel you.
I'm buried in deadlines for the publication, and everything needs to be perfect!

Miles Ivan Castellano
:) and I keep thinking... is all this really worth it? does anyone even care?

Naihm Lee Alvarado
huy, ikaw pa ba yan miles ivan? HAHAHAHA but I think, the fact that we care is enough. even if no one else sees it right now, we're making a difference, miles.

Miles Ivan Castellano
pero makapagod hahaha

Naihm Lee Alvarado
you know what, you should rest. baka di ka pa kumain? you need to take care of yourself too, you know?

Miles Ivan Castellano
honestly, I haven't had a proper meal today. parang wala na akong energy to even eat.

Naihm Lee Alvarado
hoy, that's not okay. you're gonna burn out kung ganyan. try to rest for a bit, at least.

Miles Ivan Castellano
i wish i could. but there's just so much to do.

Naihm Lee Alvarado
I get it, pero don't overdo it. you can't do everything if you're running on empty.

Miles Ivan Castellano
thanks, nai. 

Naihm Lee Alvarado
I'm worried about you. please take a break when you can. I don't want to see you collapse from exhaustion.

Miles Ivan Castellano
i'll try. thanks. later again.
hanap na ko nila sir tan.

iMessage

DEC 6 | 2:30 PM

Miles Ivan Castellano
naihm, hindi ko na kaya.
bawat araw parang may bago na namang issue. 

I feel like I'm juggling everything and dropping the ball on all of them.

Naihm Lee Alvarado
aww. kaya pa?
ang hirap talaga kapag may malaking responsibility.
minsan parang lahat ng expectations naka-set sa'yo.

Miles Ivan Castellano
exactly! I feel like I have to be perfect, or else everything will fall apart.

Naihm Lee Alvarado
alam mo, no one expects you to be perfect. we're all learning and figuring things out as we go. it's okay to make mistakes.

Miles Ivan Castellano
that's easy to say, but when everything depends on you, the pressure's insane.

Naihm Lee Alvarado
I know, but don't forget—pati ako, I'm struggling too. but we're in this together, even if we're dealing with different pressures.

Miles Ivan Castellano
sometimes I wish I could just stop for a second. but I can't. not when everything's on the line.

Naihm Lee Alvarado
yeah. it's tough. but just remember, this isn't forever. we'll get through it. and we'll be stronger because of it.

Miles Ivan Castellano
thanks, nai. for saying the words i needed to hear.
i'll drop by sa pub later

Naihm Lee Alvarado

as you should!

para na tayong nasa magkabilang planet kung hindi mag kita hahaha.

Miles Ivan Castellano
snacks on me

Naihm Lee Alvarado

🥰

iMessage

DEC 10 | 11:30 PM

Miles Ivan Castellano
i just had the most frustrating meeting.

they keep throwing ideas at me, but none of them make sense. tapos ako pa yung kailangang magdecide on everything.

Naihm Lee Alvarado
are you okay?

Miles Ivan Castellano
honestly, I'm not. i feel like everyone's depending on me, and i'm just... not enough.

Naihm Lee Alvarado
hey, you're enough. always remember that
i'm always here to listen, and  i'll help however i can.

Miles Ivan Castellano
i know, but it's hard when it feels like i'm the one expected to fix everything.

Naihm Lee Alvarado
that's because you care so much. but you can't do everything by yourself. you need to ask for help when it gets too heavy, miles.

Miles Ivan Castellano
i just...its just hard to let go of control sometimes. nagiging kapareho na ko ni dad, naihm. i don't want to feel this way.

Naihm Lee Alvarado
where are you?
can i call?
i'm calling miles ivan! answer pls.

DEC 11 | 01:43 PM

Miles Ivan Castellano

thanks, naihm. i really don't know what i'd do without you.

iMessage

DEC 14 | 11:50 PM

Miles Ivan Castellano
naihm, ang gago ko!

may event ako na kailangan i-handle, tapos may mga details akong nakalimutan. ngayon, yung buong team ko galit na sa'kin.

i feel like i messed everything up.

Naihm Lee Alvarado
hey, please, don't say that. i know how hard you've been working. one mistake doesn't define you.

Miles Ivan Castellano
pero it's all my fault. I should've double-checked everything. i shouldn't have let this happen.

Naihm Lee Alvarado
understand why you're upset, but you can't beat yourself up over this. lahat tayo nagkakamali, and it's okay. what matters is how you get back up.

Miles Ivan Castellano
I just don't want anyone to think I'm incompetent. I feel like I failed everyone.

Naihm Lee Alvarado
miles, hindi nila iisipin 'yun. ang dami mong ginawa para sa CIT, and people know how much you care. hindi mawawala yun sa isang mistake lang

Miles Ivan Castellano
I just want to fix everything now, nai. I don't know how to fix this.

Naihm Lee Alvarado
you will. just breathe. that one mistake doesn't undo everything you've done. don't let this define you.

Miles Ivan Castellano
you always know how to calm me down.

Naihm Lee Alvarado
i know. kaya you need me in your life hahaha! sabay na tayo umuwi. libre mo kong ice creaam.

Miles Ivan Castellano
i don't know if i deserve to have someone with me right now, but... yeah strawberry? 

Naihm Lee Alvarado
you don't have to deserve it. i'm just here basta may ice cream.