(Derek's P.O.V)

Somehow, my eyes were again drawn to Kitkat's room and only met with disappointment.

I frowned, glancing again at the rapidly blowing up piece of news.

Since it was such a big deal, wouldn't she also know about it? And considering how much beef she and Veronica had, Mayor Welsh going down would be a reason for Lila to rejoice.

I couldn't shake off the uneasy feeling that something wasn't right.

Dialing up Kitkat's number, I waited as the rings went through.

Of course, my enigmatic neighbor didn't pick up.

I called her two more times only to have the same results. However in my last ditch effort, just as I was about to end the third call, she picked up.

"Fuck off, asshole." 

Beep!

I stood befuddled and more than a little concerned as she cursed me out and then promptly hung up. But what took up most of my attention was how her voice croaked over the phone and how she sounded extremely tired.

The hell?

I scowled at the blank screen of my phone and then leaned out of my window.

It'd probably irritate others and could wake up my family but....

Shouting it is. 

"Kitkat!"

"Lilaaa!"

"Hey, Smith!"

No response.

"Lila Smith, you better answer or I'll--"

Crash!

Alarmed and pressed up against my windowsill, I couldn't tamp down my growing worry. Something had just crashed in Kitkat's room and she still hadn't replied.

Alright, I'm done playing nice.

Steeling myself, I made my way out of room and and by the time I reached the key-hooks, I'd completely made up my mind.

Grabbing hold of the Smith's housekey and hurrying away, I thanked my lucky stars for the fact that I'd devised that plan to get Lila over to my place on the first day of school four months ago. I might've used it as an excuse but it had never slipped my mind that I had a perfectly fine key to her house sitting in the living room of my house.

It's just I never used it despite being tempted to at times.

I'm not really a stalker or something you know.

Staring into her window and watching her dance was a whole different thing, I swear.

She'll agree.

Yeah, probably not.

That seemed to be ages ago though. We'd come a long way; Kitkat and I.

Now making full use of the spare keys to the Smith household, I made my way inside the tastefully decorated house. Although it was my first time here and I was more than tempted to roam around and explore, I had more pressing matters to attend to.

I was sure Kitkat could somehow manage to hold her own against anyone but that didn't ease my galloping heart and the sinking feeling in my stomach. 

Was it an intruder or was it something else?

Anxiety gnawed at my skin and trepidation that felt unfamiliar tricked its way down my spine as I swiftly climbed the stairs to find Lila's room based on my knowledge of directions and the angles of her house.

A sound of Thud! came from a particular room and I increased my pace.

The thought of the grey-eyed girl in trouble sent me spiraling. It was unfamiliar as much as it was uncomfortable to feel that way.

Pushing back my confusing emotions, I wrapped my hand around the knob and with a deep inhale, flung open the door I presumed was Lila's.

"Whoa!" 

I hadn't even taken more than one step into the room but instantly, I found something sharp pressing against my neck from the side.

The sight that greeted me was unpleasant.

An unkempt room with broken things, gloomy constitution and signs of frustration in the way the pillows and blankets were strewn around. Paper was torn and there were other things I couldn't focus on at the moment because my little spitfire had proven my assumptions right.

Sure, I was caught awry but the fact that she was quick-witted enough to take me off guard meant she wasn't incapable of defending herself in some way or the other. It made relief fill me for a brief moment, followed by an unsolicited sense of pride.

"Derek?" 

A confused, rough and far too familiar voice entered my ears and I tilted my head to see the source of all my worries standing there with blood dripping from a cut in her palm where she was clutching a broken shard of glass. It was the other end of the glass shard that was poking its way into the skin of my throat.

My eyes glazed over her form and I could instantly tell something was wrong with her.

Well, her voice gave that away but yeah.

"Easy, Kitkat, it's just me." I raised my hands in a placating gesture, grinning as if I didn't mind a little bit of the danger she was providing with her unpredictable actions.

Which was true because I could feel myself growing hard as she breathed heavily, her chest rising and falling in an uneven rhythm and her fierce metallic grey eyes glaring daggers at me. But once I observed the rest of her less-than-appropriate state of digress, I couldn't find it in me to enjoy the few silver linings of her naked flesh peeking out from under her....wet clothes?

"Get the fuck out of here. Now." Even as she said it, the fact that she was sick couldn't be hidden under the mask she always wore.

Despite her threatening disposition, Kitkat lowered the makeshift weapon and I glanced around the room to find the source of the glass. A broken lamp lay beside her bed and I put two and two together. It was probably what I'd heard crashing to the ground when I tried calling for her.

"Why are you still here? Get lost." 

Her words packed a solid punch and her voice dripped vitriol despite her sickly state. It wasn't as easy to brush her words off as usual. Perhaps because of my own emotional investment or the fact that it seemed like Lila Smith was mad at me and being extra scornful.

For the time being though, I put these noteworthy things on the backburner and focused on the situation at hand, rubbing my neck only to find that there was a small cut there.

Lila's eyes were puffed belying the fact that she'd cried, her dark circles pronounced as if she hadn't gotten a wink of sleep last night. Messy hair in a pony, wet and clinging to her pale face, Kitkat looked worse for the wear. Her oversized t-shirt clung to her figure slightly and I could tell it was because of the presence of water; again. Lila's appearance made one thing clear to me: she'd gotten wet and.....

"You're burning up." I scowled, my hand pressed against her heated forehead.

Slapping my hand away and gritting her teeth, Lila took a step back. She hissed as she flexed her cut hand and I took another step forward.

Her refusal towards my help stung more than I presumed it would.

"Kitkat, you need to rest. Get in the bed." Turning my voice into a soothing one, I talked to her calmly and rationally because at the moment she looked like a feral cat.

A Wild Cat.

I internally snickered at the joke.

"You.." She blinked hard and a wince came over her features but she continued, undeterred. "Go, leave, you asshole." She got out her words in a rush.

I swallowed thickly and took with it the many emotions surging up tot the surface, releasing a puff of air and shaking my head as if at a petulant child. "Now, don't be so stubborn, Kitkat, I'm only here to help."

"No one..." She stumbled a little an I extended my arms to catch her reflexively. She caught herself and glared at my extended arms offensively. "Asked for your fucking...help." She spat at me and turned around.

I tried not to take offense. I really wasn't some slimy creature and all, you know?

"Lila, calm down."

She looked at me and in her eyes I saw two things clearly: Anger and Demons.

Like always, the curious part of me couldn't wait to unwrap her secrets that stemmed from these demons. Couldn't wait to play with them until I could steal them from her and make them mine as much as I wanted to make her heart mine.

The unbidden realization was staggering but I brought myself to my senses and focused on the present.

Lila scoffed at me but dizziness must have hit her as the adrenaline came down because she unsteadily slipped and if it weren't for me wrapping my arm around her waist at the right moment, she'd have fallen and injured herself further.

She was cursing a lot more than usual too and her emotions were much more raw than I'd ever seen them. While I appreciated the opportunity to asses my Kitkat in her natural form to a certain extent, worry overpowered feelings that would've been normal previously.

I clicked my tongue, my brows furrowing, "You're really not well, Lila." I made a move to grab her but she swatted my arms away and stood back up on her feet.

Stubborn Kitkat.

But then again, it was the fact that Lila didn't change easily and had qualities that drew me in so tantalizingly that I found myself rushing over to make sure she was alright.

Which she obviously wasn't.

I didn't bother convincing her to accept my help anymore as she ignored me and struggled to make her way to the bed before she fell on it and groaned. 

I looked around for the remote to the air conditioner so I could turn it on and spotted it atop a sliding glass cabinet.

I was already making a mental list of the things I'd need as I approached her and she writhed, breathing erratically. She was clearly in pain and in dire need of medicine. Lila hadn't called for help and I didn't know how she ended up in such an emotionally volatile state with a high fever but it was already done.

And she was alone.

Which meant someone clearly needed to nurse her back to health even if she was unwilling to accept it.

Kitkat was originally like this though, unresponsive and yet sensitive. Now that I knew her, looking back at many of the instances I could tell what façade Lila had been adopting. It was just that I'd never bothered to care about the little things consciously yet they'd built up and I knew her patterns, her habits, her expressions without trying.

So even if she claimed to not want my help, she'd still get it. It wasn't going to be so easy to deter me or cause an emotional rift because of misunderstandings. I was going to adopt the same method I'd adopted so far: Be persistent.

I grabbed a few of the blankets strewn about and started putting them on her wordlessly.

Kitkat's eyes met mine and for a second they looked so tortured, so haunted, so filled with pain that all I wanted was to wrap her in my arms and kiss her worries away.

The fact that I couldn't do that was like a burning mark on my conscience in itself. 

The grey was ashy in her eyes and flecked with coal like darkness, full of storms that were filled with memories and a metallic state she wished to turn herself into - unmalleable. 

This time when I went to feel her temperature in a really medical manner, she only managed to spout out a string of gibberish in protest.

I pulled up the blankets so only her eyes were peeking out and literally tucked her in like she was a child. She groaned and attempted to throw the blankets off, obviously feeling hot but I stopped her futile tries with a stern look that was half-teasing and a firm grip on her warm wandering hands.

Then I grinned lightly, "You're gonna need to sweat it out a little bit, okay? Stay like this and I'll be back quickly." A question hung in her eyes as her brows pulled her and my grin widened.

"I'll go get the medicine and some ice and washcloth. You're gonna need it." I observed the sweat on her neck and forehead. Plus, I hadn't forgotten regarding her bloodied hand even though she seemed to have. "And the first-aid kit."

I'd get to that as well and she might feel the pain afterwards.

Kitkat didn't respond, choosing to now remain silent and I couldn't decided which approach I preferred: the apparently subjugated Lila or the feisty, stubborn one.

A voice in my head told me both.

Kitkat locked her eyes with mine, covered with a sheen of what I was sure were tears and I softened my look. As if she couldn't bear looking at me, she turned away, her metallic grey eyes closed and I instantly missed the connection. 

I sighed heavily and convinced myself she was just super tired. I hesitated but couldn't resist myself as I brushed my knuckles over Lila's cheek tenderly. 

"I hate you." Her mumbled words pained me to no end.

A feather light touch that made my skin burn for completely different reasons than Lila's and then murmured comfortingly, "I'll be back, sweetheart. Just hang in there. You're gonna be okay."

She whimpered.

And that whimper made me want to kill the reason for her state and then wrap her in my arms, not letting her go until the smile and the snark returned to her eyes.

Her skin might be burning up but so was my heart.

•♤•

(Lila's P.O.V)

I wanted to cry.

It was a weak, emotional state of mind due to my rising fever and the happenings of the previous night. My head pounded, my skin felt itchy, my clothes were still half-wet and I had Derek Greyson in my room.

Tending to my sick self when all I wanted was space from this guy.

It couldn't get worse than this.

I didn't even want to see his face at the moment and yet. Yet my heart told me otherwise.

I'd never had anyone to tend to me when I was sick. Sure, once or twice if my Mom or Desi were home, they'd help out. Mostly it was Mellisa who came to my aid.

Or I was on my own.

I could handle myself and get back on my feet without Derek meddling but he just wouldn't get the memo.

I closed my eyes, my throat scratchy and my headache worsening. The cut on my palm was drying slightly but the pain remained. I breathed harshly, dizziness overtaking my functiong brain until all I could think of was what happened last night. 

The touch of rough knuckles against my cheek, so tender and comforting made my heart clench.

"I'll be back, sweetheart. Just hang in there. You're gonna be okay."

Although his words came through as if through muddled water, I still heard them.

And he might never know the impact they had on me, but my heart couldn't take it. The softness, the consideration, the worry in his copper eyes that I'd glimpsed because I felt betrayed. So crushed.

I whimpered involuntarily and I could almost imagine Derek's expression to be pained. Which only reinforced my thinking: I was going insane.

The door closed and I bit my lip, opening my eyes with effort and feeling them fill up with tears. I wanted to squash my emotions, didn't want to invariably cry. I didn't want him to see me at such a low.

I wanted to remain like an ice statue he could never think of melting.

My lip quivered slightly.

It hurt. It hurt so much. All of it. I wanted it to stop.

I didn't want to feel so despondent. Didn't want to feel the sinking in my stomach, the painful ache in my heart and the assault of memories that flashed before me whenever I closed my eyes.

Drenching myself in the pouring thunderstorm last night might not have been one of my best decisions and it was what had me shivering until the fever crashed in to make my head and body woozy, but I still wouldn't change it.

Exhaling loudly, the warmth in the room making sweat trickle down my body, I closed my eyes again and succumbed to the darkness.

Succumbed to the nightmares that made me who I was.

Remembered what happened last night.

I wish I'd read the letter before I'd given Derek his birthday gift. Before I'd fallen down the rabbit hole and without my knowledge, created a relationship that made me question my mental stability.

It all came crashing down for me last night.

With a nightmare.

And then that damn letter.

I clenched my eyes shut tighter, angry and hurt. Pain I'd always managed to turn into anger filled my veins but the anger was subdued and the heartache screamed in my head.

I wish I'd known who Derek Wayne Greyson was.

Before being so foolish as to have let myself go soft.

Before I started to feel.

•♤•

A/N

What are your thoughts on Derek and his actions at the koment and how Lila has done a 180? Where do you see this going? Curious to know why Lila's feeling all that she is? Well then stay tuned and let me know if you have any theories!

Alright guys we had a super intense chapter coming right up! Hope you're excited cuz a lot will be revealed in the next one!

Vote, comment and share! Thanks you for your support! And I'll be releasing the chapters in quick succession now so no more long waits hehe! Wanna finish the book so yeah.

Till next time then!

~Skyler