I didn't know I was breaking you.
Trust me, I didn't.
Not when you smiled,
as if nothing could shatter us.
Not when you held my hand tighter,
even as I pulled away.
You gave me everything-
your time,
your love,
your quiet sacrifices.
And I took it all like it was owed.
I thought love was simple-
something that could survive neglect.
Something I could leave on a shelf
and return to whenever I wanted.
I thought you'd stay,
because you always did,
no matter how many times I left.

I see now how fragile you were.
How you stayed.
Not because you were unbreakable,
but because you loved me
more than yourself.
You hid your cracks from me,
your tears,
the way your heart ached
under my negligence.
I thought silence meant strength,
but now I know
it was the sound of you falling apart.
Sound of you breaking apart.
You didn't ask for much.
Just that I see you like you did.
Love you like you loved me.
But I was blind.
I always looked past you.
Always chasing something else.
Never realizing-
you were my everything.
My everything.

I try to escape these memories.
(Even if I know that I can't.
Can't escape you.)
But they haunt me-
in every possible way.
In the morning light,
spilling through the curtains-
the kind you loved to wake up to.
In the songs that play on the radio-
the lyrics I never paid attention to,
But now I feel like,
they were written for you.
For us.
In the books I can't finish,
because they remind me of you-
how you'd sit for hours, lost in their pages,
while I barely noticed.
Even the rain brings you back,
soft and relentless,
filling every empty space.
Spaces that feel too empty without you.
Too empty without you.

I wonder if you've forgotten me.
(And it hurts to think like that.)
If someone else now holds you-
the way I couldn't.
Do they see your kindness,
your quiet strength?
Do they know how lucky they are?
I want to hate them,
but I can't.
I only hope they give you the love
I was too selfish to offer.
Still, a selfish part of me
clings to the hope
that you think of me-
that somewhere, deep inside,
there's still a piece of your heart
that remembers,
what we had.

The nights are the worst.
Truly, the worst.
When the world falls silent,
and there's nothing left to distract me.
I lie awake, replaying every moment.
Every word I should have said.
(Should have said.)
Every touch I didn't give.
(And I regret it now.)
Your absence is a weight on my chest.
And no amount of air,
can fill the void.
It's funny how an empty heart
can feel so heavy.
So heavy.
I know I've lost you,
and the blame is mine to carry-
forever.

If I could speak to you now,
I wouldn't ask for another chance.
I wouldn't ask for your forgiveness,
because I know I don't deserve it.
But I'd tell you this:
I see you now.
I see everything you were,
everything I took for granted.
You loved me
in ways I never understood.
And I only learned the depth of it
when it was too late.
You taught me what love is-
not with your words,
but with every quiet act of devotion.
But I was too foolish-
and it was too late.

I'll carry this lesson with me,
like a scar for the rest of my life.
It's a cruel irony-
to know the value of something
only after you've lost it.
I'll live with this regret,
a shadow that follows me everywhere.
But if this pain is the price
of having been loved by you,
then I'll bear it.
Because even in your absence,
you've given me more
than I ever gave you.
More than I could ever give you.

Dear Love Squad,

I hope that you all are
in the best of spirits.
As for me,
I'm going through
a difficult patch of life-
juggling through studies, exams
and so much more.
I wish I could tell you
more about myself.
Enough about me, how are you doing?
Please tell me in the comments, okay?

'before I knew your value'
is the tenth poem in my subunit
of this love poem collection- 'YOU'.

I'd really love to know how you feel about it.
And remember each and every poem
is from the bottom of my heart.
Every poem is something experienced by
either me or the people around me.
They are not just phrases and sentences
turned into poems.
They are stories of love, heartbreaks and
much more experienced by real people.

Please don't forget
to vote and comment♡

Yours sincerely,
Mona26042009