PART TWO OF THE CRACKIEST CRACK IVE EVER WRITTEN
-Requested by @paklaymon
-well they didn't really request it, it was more of a suggestion LOL
-irondad text fic
-a lot of innuendos and talks of sex okay this is all so immature

—

Spider-Baby:
OKAY
WhAt tHe FUck were you wearing todayyyyy
THAT SHIRT
YOUR ARMS

Spider-Baby:

Spider-Baby:

Spider-Baby:

Spider-Baby:
LMFAOOO
I put those in chronological order for u
Because organization is sexy 😎
delivered 3:03pm

Spider-Baby:
Okay perhaps you're taking a nap
I hope u appreciate my thirstiness when you're awake 😤😤
btw I'll be back at the tower after dinner, May's letting me sleep over
😏😏😉😉😏😉😳😉😏😳😳😳😏
delivered 3:15pm

Spider-Baby:
BOI
IF U DONT WAKE UP AND ANSWER ME—
read 4:25

Bossman:
I....
I honestly don't know how to respond to that

Spider-Baby:
WAIT
PH MY FOD
NONONONONO
MR STARK
IM SO FUCKSGAISYSUHSSU
OH MY GOD IM ACTUALLY GONNA CRY

Bossman:
I knew Harley was a bad influence......

Spider-Baby:
IM ACTUALLT FUCJING MORTIFIED
DID YOU READ ALL THAT??
PLS IS THERE ANY CHANCE IN THE WORLD THAT YOU DIDNT READ ANY OF THAT MR STARK PLS 😭😭

Bossman:
Unfortunately I read all of that
Trust me I really wish I hadn't

Spider-Baby:
OH MY FUCKING GODDDDD
I AM SO FUCKING SORRY

Bossman:
Now that the initial shock has passed:
What the fuck has gotten into you kid??!

Spider-Baby:
BKSHSAHHSHSSGSH
OH MY GOD MR STARK IM SO FUCKING EMBARRASSED RN

Bossman:
You should be !!!
How long has this been going on???!

Spider-Baby:
How long has what been going on? 😳🤚🏼

Bossman:
Kid!

Spider-Baby:
oH mY GoD Mr. Stark nothings happeningggg
I swear on my goldfish's grave
We've just been.... y'know...

Bossman:
Having sex????

Spider-Baby:
NO MR STARK
PLS GOD
WE'VE JUST BEEN FLIRTING AND BEING STUPID OKAY
WE HAVENT EVEN KISSED PLS NEVER SAY SEX AGAIN

Bossman:
But you want to?

Spider-Baby:
Want to what....?

Bossman:
Be intimate with him?

Spider-Baby:
"Be INtImAtE wiTH HiM"
Okay Captain America calm tf down

Bossman:
LMAO
QUIT BEING STUPID IM TRYING TO BE AN ADULT HERE

Spider-Baby:
Geez Mr. Stark I appreciate that you're being so cool about this
But I don't really feel comfortable talking to you about my strange relationship with Harley
I MEAN YEAH I DO BECAUSE YOURE GREAT MR. STARK YOURE LIKE THE COOLEST DAD EVER
BUt pleaseeee for the love of everything don't feel like you have to give me the sex talk
I'm still a virgin if that makes u feel better ??
I'm ranting oh god

Bossman:
Okay kid relax
All those stupid fucking memes gave me the wrong idea

Spider-Baby
Bskshwkshsjshsh
I mean those as jokes !!!
I send shit like that to Ned and MJ!!!

Bossman:
So you don't like Harley ??

Spider-Baby:

Spider-Baby:
WeLL
It's not that I dONT like him
He's
Y'know

Bossman:
???

Spider-Baby:
HES SO FUCKING HOT MR STARK

Spider-Baby:

Spider-Baby:
THIS IS YOUR FAULT

Bossman:
You're gonna blame me??
And stop it with the memes already

Spider-Baby:
YOURE THE ONE WHO INTRODUCED US

Bossman:
I didn't ask you to fuck him ??

Spider-Baby:
mR STARKDJSGSKSGS

Bossman:
I'm just trying to figure out how you managed to text me three separate times without figuring out who you were actually talking to

Spider-Baby
IDK OKAY
I THOUGHT I TEXTED HARLEY LAST
I guess not 😔

Bossman:
This is all extremely disturbing

Spider-Baby:
Plssss don't tell May 😩
Please don't tell anyone Mr. Stark pls don't embarrass me moreeee
Harley and I haven't even talked about our feelings with eaCh oThEr

Bossman:
Calm down kid
Believe me I have no desire to share this with anyone

Spider-Baby:
:D

Bossman:
But whatever this is—between you and him—is all mutual?
And consenting?

Spider-Baby:
100000%!!
You should see the stuff hE sends mE mr. Stark 😳
You think iM crazy—

Bossman:
Please no
I mean I expected this from Harley
But you're supposed to be the good one

Spider-Baby:
I am goooddd 😠

Bossman:
And because you're good I don't have to worry about you sneaking out of your room into Harley's tonight
Right?

Spider-Baby:
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT THAT

Bossman:
Right??

Spider-Baby:
Right.

Bossman:
Good

Spider-Baby:
Do you still love me dad? 🥺

Bossman:
Of course I love you kiddo
Which is why I've decided to send Harley back to Tennessee for the good of your innocence

Spider-Baby:

Bossman:
LOL I'm kidding

Spider-Baby:
I know :)

Bossman:
Now for the love of god delete this entire chat
And we never speak of this again

Spider-Baby:
DEAL
THANKS FOR BEING SO COOL MR. STARK
I LOVE YOU

Bossman:
🙄
Love you too

—

baby 🤤 to bello 💗

baby 🤤:
HARLEY YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE WHAT JUST HAPPENED TO MEEEBEKDHSKSHSJHS

baby 🤤:

—
this has all spiraled out of control LMAOO