*** Trigger warning: mentioning body insecurities, bullying, and assault ***

A note in front of the changing rooms for sports classes

Dear Random Stranger,

Have you struggled with being who you are, or have you been mistreated in any way?

Let me know at 3rosToB3@xxx.

I hope one day we can all be green flags.

Yours,
3rosToB3

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Inbox of 3rosToB3:

Message 1:

Dear Eros,

I have been struggling with my body. It's hard to explain. Some days I really like my body, I know I am quite pretty and during those times I feel good in my body. But sometimes, I can't stand my body. I feel uncomfortable with everything: I feel like I'm not good enough.

For a bit, it has been going fine.

But I liked a boy and he told me I'd be prettier without glasses and that I should be wearing more attractive clothes. He is allowed to have his opinion and taste, but the way he told me increased my insecurities and made me feel even worse about myself.

It took me quite some time to see that he definitely wasn't the right match for me. To learn to appreciate that I have a healthy body and feel no pain. That I can be grateful for that. It took a trip to the hospital with my aunt to realise that.

I hope you are at ease with your body or can be one day.

Yours,
L. E.

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Message 2:

Hi 3ros,

I have been lucky in my life. Loving parents, great siblings, secure home, good health. I'm grateful I can have all this. The only problem is me. I'm never satisfied. I always want more... to be better or more perfect. I think it's a problem of validation. And thus I can rarely decide on anything. It hurts people who are important to me, possible partners, and myself.

Who wants a person who doesn't know what he wants? Who wants someone who is always knee's deep into work?

I'm my own problem. I'm thinking of seeking help. But I might be too proud of that. Or too insecure - are my struggles bad enough to be in need of therapy?

You see: overthinking and indecisiveness really are a pain in the ass!!

P.

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Message 3:

Dear 3rosToB3,

I have been looking for a flat to stay at and posted my search online. I made the mistake of putting my number in it. One morning, I received a call from a stranger. I thought it was a reply to my flat search, but it was a disgusting person who told me exactly what he wanted to do to me and my body... in a sexual way. I just woke up and was terrified. I hung up quickly, but since then, I can't answer a call where there is an unknown number ... who knows what could happen next.

I thought of notifying the police ... but I wanted to destroy the power in had over me, so I blocked the number and deleted the call.

I feel guilty ... maybe that might have allowed this person to mistreat someone else...

D.

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Message 4:

Dear 3rosToB3,

I can't help comparing myself with others. Just today in the changing room: I don't have a nicely shaped body like my peers. I feel bad.

Best,
A.

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Message 5:

Dear 3ros,

I think someone hurts my friend maybe even she herself. I don't know how exactly but she has become very quiet and only wears long clothes even though it's summer. I told her she can tell me anything but she doesn't open up. What shall I do?

L. C.

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Message 6:

I'm sick of it. I'm the only girl in that one class and people look down on me. I feel like I need to prove myself all the time.

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Message 7:

I think I'm a victim of cyberbullying. I'm not sure. I get messages from someone I know who tells me I am the worst ... regularly. I blocked him. But it continues verbally in school when no one is watching.

I don't know what to do ...

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Message 8:

Dear 3rosToB3,

This is the counsellor. Please forward me any messages that you deem urgent that need special attention or intervention with the writer's consent. With reach comes responsibility.

Should they not want that, please let them know that this opportunity exists and that privacy will be respected.

Best regards
The head counsellor

***
Message 9:

Thank you for asking, 3ros. I'm fine. But it took a long time. Last month, I told my best friend and parents that I'm gay. I was so afraid. But now, I feel liberated. They didn't make a big thing out of it. I'm so grateful. I hope people on campus are going to be nice about it too. But recently, I've seen more and more activities supporting the LGBTQ community. I feel safer.

Best,
O.

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