Listen to this song - - It fits the story perfectly and i I hope you enjoy reading sorry for any mistakes you might spot while reading.

Love me Now by john legend

Hoseok ever since birth had to deal with all kinds of life and death illnesses and health complications, so he was a long time live-in patient at the hospital. He has only been allowed to leave to visit his home on one or two occasions when the doctors and caregivers felt like he needed a change of surroundings hoping that it would help improve his health at least a little, but he was never able to spend the night and had to return to the hospital.

Hoseok has no friends of his age except for the random various patients that he has shared his room with at the hospital. However even those only lasted until his roommates health improved to the point that they no longer needed to stay at the hospital leaving Hoseok behind. He is back to being all alone to do it all over again with the next occupier of the empty bed at the hospital room he uses.

Being bedridden all your life is no fun and Hoseok spent his boredom imagining all that he could do and experience if ever one day his health got better and he was allowed to do so.

That's one thing about Hoseok, he carries a strong positive hope for his condition to get better one day so he can be as normal as the next healthy average child his age. He is a ball of sunshine, with the brightest blinding smiles despite the agonizing pain he underwent every single day. You wouldn't think that he is battling all kinds of painful health complications when you meet him because the boy just doesn't let his suffering get to him or rule over his life at all and he made the best he could with the little he's got. Even though he is underweight and very skinny his personality is at large and full of life. And so he had many nicknames from the patients, to the nurses; to the doctors, who all at some point had met Hoseok at the hospital.

Hoseok is famously known as Jhope, and he really is an angel of hope to all working and staying in the hospital.

Many patients who met him say that he gave them hope when they had none and somehow he healed them spiritually with his vibrant personality and through his beautiful kind smiles, jokes, stories and laughter.

It has got to the point that everyone that meets him and ends up befriending him.

He really is a blessing; an angel, that's why when finally his time came, right after the 14th death scare and a complicated heart transplant surgery, Hoseok finally showed the highest improvement ever in his entire life. The doctors wanted him to step out of the hospital building and escape these grey walls and finally be able to taste life outside of the hospital seizing this great opportunity given to him by God.

Almost everyone at the hospital teared up and cried seeing Hoseok leave the hospital for the first time ever by his own two feet although it's at a snail pace but it is still better than nothing.

The patients, doctors and nurses all didn't want him to leave yet they knew how much this meant to him. They want him to be able to fully experience being a normal healthy young teenage boy his age. However, they will greatly miss him and his jokes and laughter that never fail to liven up the gloomy depressing atmosphere in the hospital.

Although it seems like everything has gotten along for Hoseok in lighter light and he looks a lot better than before, Hoseok's personal special doctors who are aware of the history of Hoseok's health, all knew in the back of their mind that this little freedom and happiness is probably temporary. But, like his nickname Jhope, they decided to depend on that little hope inside their heart and pray that their medical assumptions or calculations will turn out to be wrong on the temporary part and that Hoseok won't get worse after his discharge and return again.

Despite the good news, Hoseok still felt scared and worried, delighted and excited all at the same time to have gain what they call freedom for once in his life due to the success of his new heart transplant surgery as well as his body gradually being able to defend itself and fighting and avoiding catching viruses or bacterial and etc.

His lungs too are doing a lot better; his vision and the motors in his body are functioning on their own much better albeit in a slow pace. He hopes for that to eventually improve over time.

He is still on strict watch with how much time spent outside, his diet management, carefully scheduled intake of his medication, small needed exercises to strengthen his bones, enough amounts of rest and also taking his surroundings plus the weather conditions into account. He also has to monitor his oxygen level intake and plenty more other health factors to watch out for. These are all under strict watch and regime so things are still kind of like the same as it was when he was admitted to the hospital except this time he doesn't have to always stay in bed limited to only moving to a certain area only because this time Hoseok gets to attend normal school.

At his school Hoseok is only under watchful eyes of the adult staffs and teachers who make sure to remind him to take his medications on time or just check on him, keeping an eye on him and pay attention watching out for any signs of fatigue, paleness and the slightest discomfort or discoloring on his face or skin so that they can quickly take care of it at it's premature stage before it gets bad.

Hoseok is very much grateful for the care and support of every teacher that is voluntarily willing to do so much going the extra mile for him so that he gets to really experience the sweet life of an average healthy teenage boy his age. He appreciates that the students are at least kept in the dark about his health condition so that they don't treat him any differently and so that he can be just like one of them.

He was quickly loved and adored by all his classmates including the seniors, the students who don't even take the same course as he does and almost anyone in the school even the janitor, the cleaners and canteen staff all love him. Hoseok just loves to talk loud and befriend everyone he came across that crosses his path. He has very open and friendly personality that just attracts a lot of people to surround him.

-><-

One fine day, Hoseok found out about the ever popular school basketball team and admired them hoping to one day join the team.

He sneakily tried to audition and try out for basketball team because of a specific captain, the number one popular talented handsome jock that looks dazzling and mesmerizing while sweating and breathing heavily running laps and shooting goals as soon as he touches the ball known as Kim Namjoon.

Someone very dangerous to Hoseok because whenever he sees Namjoon, he dangerously brushes death because his heart is bewitched and will suddenly start beating really fast that if this continues his heart might just stop beating all at once killing him on the spot.

What Hoseok needed to do was to avoid Kim Namjoon like the plague, but oh no-no-no.... he was instead actually walking over to where Kim Namjoon stood, doing the exact opposite. Trying to get near him and befriend the captain of the basketball team Kim Namjoon.

So, Hoseok somehow managed to sign in to join the new recruits for the basketball team thinking because he hadn't yet spoken to Namjoon face to face or at all and because he as the captain is also the one leading the selection of new recruits for the basketball team not the teachers. He just needs to make sure that no teachers would be able to recognize him as the sick boy and thank goodness that no students are aware of his health condition. This meant that he had an 80 percent chance of becoming part of the school basketball team; As well as a good chance on approaching the popular and talented Captain that he has been feeling a strange attraction towards.

Hoseok just had to show and demonstrate his basketball skills and that will get him to join the team. Unfortunately Hoseok has none; zero, not a single sportive bone or skills to convince them into letting him join the team.

Then how about his knowledge and intelligence on the sport maybe that will help him, Oh who is he kidding, Hoseok knows nothing about basketball. He only recently became aware of the existent of the sports when he accidentally found himself in the sport hall and saw the team practicing. He can't even do a thorough research on the sports to gain some basic knowledge and understanding due to his time being all occupied because of his health. Hoseok could only read bits and bits of information on the sport here and there whenever he got the chance. Because of his tight health schedules planned in detail, strict to a 'T', even watching the television or other media ways to learn about basketball is all limited for him.

As time kept ticking and the day for the audition to join the basketball team was slowly drawing near, Hoseok chose to rather focus on reading up on some basic skills during the little opportunity he gets in preparation for the big day.

That he should have maybe check the rules first, instead of learning skills such as dribbling; he also should have practice his one and only dribbling skill on the proper ball to get the correct bounce. Clueless and over thinking that he was ready; he's got this in the bag, Hoseok walked with swag and confidence onto the court.

He ended up showing his one and only skill alright but not only that. He played the ball with his body using both hands and legs yelling and screaming throughout and even his big forehead that coincidentally volunteered to join in when the ball bounced up and hit his forehead. This ultimately knocked him out cold collapsing onto the floor not moving at all and this happened in 5 minutes after stepping on the basketball court.

Where is his swag now? All of the confidence he had shown walking to the court now going down the drain in just 5 minutes

-><-

He eventually woke up with his head now gently lying on someone's firm lap and an ice pack being held firmly against his now red forehead. The person was humming to himself while he waited for Hoseok to wake up.

And so once Hoseok opened his eyes their eyes found each other both staring deeply into each other's eyes. Hoseok realizes who was the person that was lending him his thighs as a soft pillow and was now softly brushing away Hoseok's fringe that was clinging to his red forehead.

He couldn't help the obvious pink blush tainting his face that comes with complete and utter panic.

'Oh my God! somebody please tell my heart to calm down and give me a break already or it's going to literally kill me if it continues on beating like this', thought Hoseok in his head.

"Are you ok now... Hoseok?" asked Namjoon

->>

'OMG basketball captain Namjoon knows my name Ahhhhhh~', Squeaked Hoseok inside his head < (But ehm... Hoseok you do know that you sign in with your name and introduce yourself right before displaying your skills, so obviously Namjoon would know your name right? < Said the author)

Ack! ... Right:-l 😐.... I completely forgot about that (sigh) thanks for reminding me authornim < (why do I suddenly feel bad for reminding him Uge .... 🙁 I am sorry Hobi-yah, I ruin your moment)

'Oh no... it is ok, so don't be...' < (Ahhh so kind of you Hoseok. Kyahhhn...You really are an angel!)

->>

OK back to the story

"Are you ok now Hoseok?" asked Namjoon

"Did I make the team?" asked Hoseok

'Oh no that's not what I wanted to say or should have said ignoring his question so rudely.' Thought Hoseok

"I-I What I meant to say is that y-YES, I am good thank you for looking after me" he said shyly

"Pfft- Hahahaha"

Namjoon belt out laughing and Hoseok just laughed along nervously.

Hoseok's cheeks completely turn red from embarrassment.

He has no clue what's so funny but he loves to see those cute dimples and perfect teeth and smiles that Namjoon's face was displaying especially knowing he kind of put them there.

"You are really cute do you know that? I can't help but feel drawn to you although we've only just met" said Namjoon in-between his laughter.

"Oh no we didn't just met Namjoon...I mean...I- I've been watching you countless times at various coincidental meetings and I also found myself unable to not stop thinking about you all the time and my heart beat too loud like ...doki-doki ...doki-doki ... and-and I suddenly find it difficult to breath. I dream about you when I don't see you I miss you soo much. Your voice, your smirks, EVERYTHING about you drives me crazy. I go mad over you. When I see you being serious on the court you look so dashing and handsome, thinking of your strong masculine body I think what I am...my heart is saying is that I'm in lo- AHHH... SHOOT! (Mphfmmm)"

Hoseok quickly rushes to cover his mouth from blabbering too much looking shocked realising he'd just basically confessed his feelings out of the blue to the unsuspecting Namjoon.

He immediately shut his eyes so tight afraid to see the expression of surprise disgust or rejection on Namjoon's face while still lying with his head on Namjoon's lap.

Hoseok listens closely waiting for some kind of reaction from Namjoon; waiting to be pushed off his lap, but he hears nothing and feels no movement from the man whose lap his head is resting on. He slowly opens his eyes to check on Namjoon.

He was not expecting to see Namjoon all red in the face also covering his mouth and looking away blushing furiously.

Like seriously, Namjoon is acting like it's his first time being told these words when he is the number one most wanted and sort after boy of majority of the students, especially the girls of the school who bravely write him confession letters every single day. Some even confess their feelings to him in person every single day of the week. Namjoon always rejects them all, honestly shutting down their feelings for him immediately.

Although he always never accept their feelings for him, Namjoon always at least makes sure to read each and every one of those confession letters then go find the writer and takes them to a secluded place. Somewhere not too secluded but with enough privacy in order to give them his answer to their love letters without drawing any crowd for the sake of their dignity, returning back to them their letters and gifts given to him.

Because of his immense consideration towards those who bravely stepped out of their comfort zone and build up the courage to ask him out, even though they were all rejected they still continue to love him one sided and they do not care for it being just only them being in love. So they continue to shower Namjoon with even more affection, love and adoration than before. Namjoon is known to not show any emotions or indication of ever being interested in a relationship with anyone EVER!!

Yet, here we are, the same Namjoon is unable to control himself from the scattered words of affection (that is if you can even call that a proper confession of love) blurted from the mouth of a cute boy his only just met.

"Oh my God... N-Namjoon... A-Are you really blushing? This can't be...right?" said a surprise Hoseok

"Ugh" Namjoon grunts under his breathe hating that he got caught

"Please let me see your face..... Pretty please hm? ..." begged Hoseok gaining more courage because of Namjoon's unexpected cute reactions.

For the toughest boy of their school to be actually this honest and transparent with his emotions only causes Hoseok to fall even harder for him.

Hoseok gets up from Namjoon's lap in order to sit upright and see him better and not sideways or upside down.

After Hoseok's annoying insistence on seeing his face, Awkwardly, Namjoon slowly turns his front facing him to look face to face with Hoseok. Biting on his bottom lip nervously, Namjoon couldn't hold his stare from looking directly in Hoseok's gaze and he let his eyes trail away looking at anywhere other than into those hazel brown eyes of Hoseok's that cause him to lose his breath. His head stays locked forward facing Hoseok except his eyes avoid looking direct and making eye contact with Hoseok.

Hoseok watched him closely, staring lovingly at Namjoon, feeling giddy with butterflies in his stomach. He couldn't stop himself from grinning and he smirks when he look at Namjoon's pink cheeks; sinful thoughts appeared in his head looking at those voluptuous soft red lips.

Hoseok's voice turns deep and seductive when he reaches to pull out Namjoon's lip from in-between his teeth while he speaks.

"Don't.... Don't do that Joonie hmm? Don't chew on those soft.... (He licked his own lips and gulped)... tempting lips hmm?''

Hoseok slowly moves in closing the gap between him and Namjoon sitting on the bench. His thumb softly stroking Namjoon's lips and his eyes held strongly on them full of want and the need to do something he has been yearning to do to those specific lips.

Namjoon gulps swallowing hard unable to handle himself or hold steady when the atmosphere got heated in a blink of an eye.

"Not these beautiful strawberry soft enticing lips that I have wanted to squash against mine so badly", Hoseok continued.

As he whispered those words his lean skinny long fingers pulled Namjoon's bottom lip aggressively.

Hoseok moved 80 percent close enough for the bridge of their nose to touch almost nearly touching their lips together but then he stops right before that.

Namjoon who found himself reacting needy to Hoseok's seducing talk had his mouth open and gaping for Hoseok's lips. His head all muddled up and throat gone dry he didn't realize his eyes were close until he heard a chuckle coming from Hoseok whose eyes traced every detail on Namjoon's face in such close proximity. They both could feel each other's hot breath.

Namjoon couldn't take the waiting game any longer so he answered by taking the last step to bringing their lips together merging them into one.

They kissed with so much vigor, want and passion filled with lustful neediness. It's like sparks of fruit juice and popping candy along with bubble gum flavour ice-cream and pink cotton candy fireworks blasting in their mouth.

Namjoon felt overwhelmed, his mind thinking of everything at once and of nothing at all.

->>

🎵I see your true colours shining through, I see your true colours, that's why I love you, so don't be afraid! ~To let it show... your true colours; true co-lours, are shining through like a rain-bow ......🎶

->>

The kiss lasted much too short according to Namjoon but way too long for Hoseok who struggles to catch his breath.

After quiet sometime passes with Hoseok trying hard to calm his heart and steady his breathing, Namjoon spends it just gazing lovely at him and memorizing every detailed part of Hoseok's appearance including the simplest traits on him.

Namjoon hands caressing Hoseok's baby cheeks and massaging his beautifully soft plumb heart shaped pink lips with soo much love and adoration oozing out of him.

"I know that we have just met but I think I am also drawn to you Hoseok. I can't deny my feelings towards you. I feel very intrigued by you and I am clearly attracted to you no doubt about it. I think...no in fact, I KNOW that I am already in love with those almond shaped eyes those cupid lips and everything that is you there's no doubt in my mind. I am deeply in love with you already in this little time that we've met. Hoseok if you don't mind my moving too fast erm....''

Hoseok shook his head and urged Namjoon to go ahead with what he wanted to say or ask.

''I want you to be my boyfriend as of right this instant for I give you my heart and I want your heart to become solely mine as the one and only owner of it ... but erm... that is if you would have mine to replace yours which I'll be taking for myself" said Namjoon pretty much spilling out what he wanted to say in one breathe his brow furrow with worry awaiting Hoseok's reply.

Suddenly like a spell; an enchantment was made on Hoseok and immediately he calmed down while those magic words are said to him with such honest true eyes. Not a tiniest doubt or hesitation spotted anywhere.

"Hoseok I believe I was in love as soon as my eyes fell on your name alone and now seeing you here in front of me, in person; giving me my first real kiss. I know at once that you are the one for me; the missing half of me. Please accept me and let us become whole again. The seed of love has bloomed and made a home in my heart with the rarest beautiful flower consisting of passion, energy and spice that is you my love. A caterpillar transformed into a beautiful butterfly with majestic wings. So please Hoseok kindly consider me as I come to you baring you my heart on a plate in full display willing to climb the highest mountain, the tallest tree; travel the deepest ocean, the widest valley, just to get close to you my love. So would you take me as I am right here showing you the honesty and sincerity in my words and the nakedness of my emotions?"

"Oh my love, Joonie (A quick kiss) you... (A peck) already... (Another kiss) had me... (A short peck) at hello", said Hoseok with the happiest smile on his face making his face glow.

The two crush into another intense kiss as petals of flowers snows down gently on them congratulating their union.

"I love you Kim Namjoon even with my heart I give you my soul to be yours only and forever. You are the rose to my valentine the sugar to my Tea the chocolate to my sweet tooth the spice to my curry Hehehehe", he chuckles shyly feeling embarrassed saying those words he learned from the stories heard in the hospital. He never thought he would be using those same corny words and it actually sounding sweet to his ears.

"O-k ...so now I know you suck at Shakespeare and in literature ", teased Namjoon while laughing. Hoseok pouts and playfully punches Namjoon's chest

"Tch! You meanie 😝" Hoseok pulls out his tongue at Namjoon then gets up to run away while Namjoon chases after him catches him in a back hug.

-><

It's been six months since the two have started dating.

Namjoon still has no knowledge of Hoseok's poor health which he managed to keep hidden while his boyfriend has been teaching him how to play basketball a few times when they hang around so that Hoseok can try out for the team again next time since he obviously failed to make the team on his first time. But at least it wasn't all in vain.

He did manage to secure Namjoon as a boyfriend out of it and that was more than he originally thought he could accomplish, this being his first time liking someone and being in a relationship.

Namjoon is Hoseok's first and only love and vice-versa.

-><

During the first half of lunch break, whilst the Namseok couple sat at the canteen hall among soo many group of friends. To name a few are; Seungri, Jackson, Yoongi, Sehun, Jimin, Seungyoon, Jungkook, another Hoseok but they all call him Wonho, Bobby and etc. Some girls also mixed up among them, everyone busy with their tray of food set on the table in front of them discussing various topics and subjects.

Namjoon and Hoseok kept to each other as if attach by the hips. They couldn't keep their hands off each other. They are a little too clingy for comfort but they themselves don't notice it.

"My love do you think we got together a bit too fast? Did I move too fast for you Hobi?" asked Namjoon

"Huh! Are you just seriously realizing how quickly we got together after 6 months? Wow 😳I am amazed"

"Is that bad? Do you prefer we move slower my love?"

"Hahahaha Joonie you are soo cute under all those muscles. You're just too sweet and innocent for your own good. But really I love how everything went and honestly I wanted it too. Because to me TIME is something I don't like to waste under any circumstances so if you hadn't ask me out right then and there, then I was going to ask you to go out with me instead"

"Really!! Over and over, I look in your eyes. You were all I desire. You have captured me. I want to hold you. I want to be close to you. I never want to let go. I wish that this today would never end
I need to know Hoseok, Could I hold you for a lifetime? Could I look into your eyes? Could I hold you close beside me? Could I hold you for all time? ...I love you Hoseok"

"And I to you my love"

The two started kissing again ignoring the group of friends sharing the table with them.

''Could I, could I have this kiss forever my love?'' said Hoseok while still kissing

''Mm''

Their kisses intensify even more. They acted like they're the only ones there and they see nobody but each other.

''Eh-hem!!!!! '' Groaned Yoongi

"Ahhh can't you two ever acknowledge the rest of us in your presence while sharing such cheesy lines with each other. I feel like I could vomit with the amount of cheese on this table" said Taehyun

"Yeah I mean look across the table and you can see the various shade of red and pink cheeks and burning ears from all of us feeling embarrassed and unable to help ourselves from blushing" said Baekhyun eyeing his own love interest whose gone piping red from neck up.

Namseok couple now furiously blushed and turned to stare down at their plate of food in front of them. The others sharing the table of such large group of friends suddenly started frantically digging into their food in complete silence apart from the clinking sound of their utensils hitting their plates.

Their head buried in their plate all at the same time. Everyone trying to hide their blushing face even those that are couples avoided looking at each other like a whistle was blown indicating that they all have 2 seconds left for them to finish eating. The whole place suddenly drawn in total quietness, a few who hold crushes onto another sometimes steal glances from here and there. Their awkward reactions would look hilarious to anyone watching them from birds-eye view.

-><

It's been 8 months since dating and after one of their mini one on one session of teaching Hoseok to play basketball with Namjoon, Hoseok instantly ran out as soon as Namjoon wasn't paying him attention looking pale in the face.

He staggered his way to where his bag was, grabbing for it then making his way to go behind the sport hall building as they were outside the field.

His heart constricted with intensifying and agonizing pain. Hoseok's lungs refused to take in oxygen. Hoseok waste too much time searching for his bag, finding it, and then trying to hide away from Namjoon or any other students from seeing him in such a bad condition. Due to that, when he managed somehow to reach the hidden corner of the school building where students rarely visits it was already too late as his pain increase exponentially paralyzing his movement. His bag fell while he squeezes his chest in an unbearable pain.

To make matters even worse, Namjoon had followed him catching up to him and is now facing Hoseok's back at the moment calling for Hoseok to turn around and face him at the same time working on catching his own breath from running after his boyfriend.

No matter how much he calls Hoseok doesn't answer. Hoseok stumbled slightly leaning on the wall for support. Hearing his Boyfriend approaching behind him and all he wanted is to walk away quickly so Namjoon won't ever find out about him but unable to move from his spot; His vision blurring.

'Is this how it will end for me?' thought Hoseok

"Hobi ...my love? .... Why are you running away from me? ...Hobi? ...My love? HH-HOBI!!!" Namjoon yells out running to catch his boyfriend from face planting the floor.

Namjoon quickly turned him around to only witness a terrifying image of his boyfriend spitting blood from his mouth his skinny trembling fingers clinging tightly and squeezing strongly to the left side of his chest hyperventilating and struggling to breathe.

Hoseok is experiencing the worst pain ever, it's so bad that his veins were popping out like it about to burst; he even clenched his teeth and jaw in torment and torture.

"OH MY GOD HOSEOK WHATS HAPPENING? WHAT DO I DO? PLEASE ....OH GOD PLEASE GOD DON'T DIE ....HEEELP!!! SOMEBODY PLEASE SAVE MY BOYFRIEND! WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP YOU HOBI? PLEASE TELL ME .... (He cries) HANG IN THERE HOSEOK DON'T YOU DARE LEAVE ME... Ugh, I need to find some help but I don't want to leave him here alone to go get someone. What should I do? Think Namjoon Think Hoseok's life is depending on you"

Namjoon panics sobbing his eyes out and feeling confused as to what to do looking lost. He pulls on his hair several times even punching it as to get his brain to think of a solution; a plan of action that is sufficient in saving Hoseok who is in pain lying in his arms on the floor.

Namjoon's voice even trembles and he croaks continuously calling for his boyfriend frantically as he witnesses the pupil of Hoseok's eyes rolling back under his eyelid revealing only the whites of his eyes.

A horrible thing to see happening to someone very dear to you, who holds your heart; forced to watch the entire process feeling utterly useless and helpless,

"Ahhh... (Hic)... HHH-Hoseok Ah! P-please ss-someone p-please h-help us"

Namjoon sobbed cradling his slowly dying boyfriend in his arms seeing the life being sucked out of him with every second that past not doing anything to stop or slow it down.

Hoseok, who is unable to speak but could still hear Namjoon's cries even though it sounded pretty far away hated to hear Namjoon sound so broken because of him,

He used the little strength he could muster up to grasp strong hold of Namjoon's arm pulling on the arms of his uniform to get his attention. Hoseok's unstable eyes fought hard to stay open and then pointing to where his bag fell hoping Namjoon would understand what he was trying to tell him.

Namjoon quickly moved to get the bag after gently placing Hoseok's head on the ground softly as best he could manage in this emergency. He then turns Hoseok's bag upside down spilling everything out all over the place with soo many different medicine. He did not know which one to give to Hoseok. He has no idea what particular pain his boyfriend is struggling with so even if he reads the bottles he still won't know. So he just shoved everything closer to where Hoseok lays.

"MY LOVE WHICH ONE IS IT? WHICH MEDICINE DO I GIVE TO YOU PLEASE TELL ME PLEASE? ",

Namjoon begs and his eyes fell on Hoseok's hand that is holding to his left chest meaning it's his heart that aches.

Luckily, Namjoon was blessed with a sharp intelligence, knowledge and keen eyes that he easily found the correct pills needed reading the instructions he force his fingers in between Hoseok tight teeth so Hoseok bites down hard on his fingers instead while he inserted the pills into his mouth. He store water in his cheeks and transferred it mouth to mouth into Hoseok's mouth with his finger still kept between Hoseok teeth until he was sure the medicine had gone down his boyfriend's throat. Not caring about the blood in his mouth and his now swollen bleeding fingers.

Then He waited, hoping, and praying to God patiently that the medicine would do its magic and set his boyfriend free from the excruciating pain he was going through. He wishes he could switch places with Hoseok so he wouldn't have to suffer this much.

Namjoon cradled Hoseok against his chest.

Namjoon held Hoseok in his protective arms burying the weak boy deeper into his chest. He rubbed circles on Hoseok's back humming the same tune from the day Hoseok had hurt himself with the basketball the first day they met. At the same time he still quietly sobs while he rocks the both of them back and forth.

Eventually he starts to feel his boyfriend getting better and now sleeping like a baby. He still looked pale in fact lately he notice how Hoseok hasn't been looking too well. He was dangerously getting skinnier with deep honey bag under his eyes and slightly hollow cheeks.

Why didn't he realize that something was wrong with his boyfriend after noticing the changes in his appearance lately? How often they had to take breaks in-between their basketball training?

Namjoon now worries even more for Hoseok's health and he wants to find out what's going on.

What has Hoseok been keeping hidden from him the entire time that they've been together that even Namjoon with his usually keen eyes failed to identify and question.

Namjoon really shouldn't have been that easily fooled because his boyfriend Hoseok is too honest to a fault and can hardly pretend to act and lie to save his life since Namjoon can always tell. Yet here he is just now discovering such big terrifying truth to Hoseok's health.

How could Namjoon let this pass his eyes? Was he that blindly in love that he couldn't notice or question anything when it comes to his boyfriend? Did love make him stupid and dumb?

2 hours passed before Hoseok finally woke up and like Dejavu he found himself being cradled like a baby in his boyfriend's firm protective arms.

Namjoon looked down at him with swollen red wet eyes and shaky forced smile. If not for the numbness he felt due to the medicine he took Hoseok would feel the pang of guilt in his chest seeing the fear vivid in Namjoon's watery eyes.

Hoseok could only give him the brightest smile he could fathom in his current state as if he didn't nearly die not too long ago.

Namjoon's voice croaks and cracks as he stutters with his words,

"H-Hello had a good s-sleep?" he manages to squeeze out from his dry throat in his rough worn out voice from the excess yelling from before.

Hoseok stared calmly through the smile, his eyes now glazed with water fighting hard to hold himself as he felt tears starting to fall from his own eyes. He too was scared. He was very scared thinking he wasn't going to make it and felt terrible that he was going to die in front of his boyfriend who has no knowledge of his constant terminal pain and all his health battles.

For the first time ever in his life Hoseok felt hopeless and hated himself. He felt guilty and cruel to have kept this side of him hidden from Namjoon and now he almost died without giving his boyfriend a proper explanation.

The thought of how hurt Namjoon must be feeling only made it difficult for Hoseok and he felt sorry towards his boyfriend.

He slowly wiped the tears pouring down Namjoon eyes to his chin using his index finger and thumb.

"I-I am sorry Namjoon-ah" Hoseok all but whispered. Although his pain has subsided enough for him to be able to see and hear properly, he was still not out of danger yet.

"I love you Hoseok. I love you too much it hurts. I-I was really scared I thought I'd lost you. I thought I won't ever be able to see your smile and hear your honey voice again and I was frightened to my core. Please don't scare me like that ever again. I don't ever want to feel so disoriented, useless and helpless when it comes down to you ever again. Please, Promise me you won't die and leave me without my permission, promise me my love"

Namjoon squeezes him in a very tight embrace wanting to soak in the feel of Hoseok's fragile body in his arms and breathe in his sweet scent sharing his warm with Hoseok. He wrapped himself around Hoseok using his body as a protective blanket.

Hoseok only chuckles kissing Namjoon on his neck and jaw. Dropping pecks wherever his mouth could reach since he was unable to move much because Namjoon was still holding him in a tight hug.

Hoseok blushes once Namjoon stops hugging him to look him in deep in his eyes with such seriousness; Hoseok bites his inner cheeks knowing that he might possibly break the promise one day.

"Promise" he said with honesty relying on the hope and faith that he will try his best to not break his promise in the future to not disappoint and hurt Namjoon again.

"You must also promise that ....when the time comes .....You will let me go ....ok?" whispered Hoseok through mini breaks in order to breathe properly

(And please try to forget about me and find someone better to replace me Namjoon-ya,) - thought Hoseok even though it hurt him to think this way.

"That won't ever happen because the two of us shall grow old together, get married, adopt 10 children of our own, and die old together in our sleep without any pain while I spoon you in my warmth" said Namjoon shaking his head fervently

"Joonie-ya my love, still I want you to promise me ..... Please? .... For me? ....Can you do it for me to feel better? .....Pleeeease" begged Hoseok squeezing hard on Namjoon's biceps as much as he could muster the strength to.

"Oh OK... I promise you ...even though I swear on my life that it won't happen; not on my watch"

Little did he know how wrong he was.

-><

On the 10th month, the two couple now lived together but next door to Hoseok's parent's house as they insisted that due to his condition plus he now has his special nurse SeokJin (a young genius who graduated way too early for his young age) to watch him constantly, and also his parent just want to share as much time with him as possible knowing that Hoseok also wanted to do the same with his boyfriend Namjoon.

He introduced Namjoon to his parent that day he had a scare in school and an ambulance came to take him to the hospital spending a whole month there. It all happened so fast and not how he would have preferred it but his parent seemed happy for him and they welcomed Namjoon into the family.

In fact they hit it on well with Namjoon that he even hears his mother fight and debate with Namjoon over who gets to spend time with Hoseok and the time duration distribution privately without the others disturbing them.

It was all pretty funny to Hoseok hearing them argue neither wanting to back down until sometimes Hoseok had to get involved and decide himself.

Namjoon left the school dorm to live together with Hoseok after finding out his health condition.

The rest of the school also found out after that day when the ambulance had to come pick Hoseok up from school during break and many student witness it especially how messed up Namjoon looked with his appearance and swollen red face from too much crying.

Namjoon became one of those nagging mums making sure Hoseok follow accordingly to all the instructions and diets and exercise and etc. scheduled like a periodical table by Hoseok's doctor not wanting to chance anything.

He is even stricter than Hoseok's parents and home nurse; a bit paranoid when Hoseok even tries to attempt doing more activities. Namjoon is always right behind him breathing down his neck and glaring hard until he quits with slump shoulders like a child being scolded and goes inside his room moping and pouting.

Namjoon usually felt guilty that his boyfriend couldn't have as much fun as he had wanted so he will opt for something fun and not dangerous to his health to share with him, like taking Hoseok to the arcades or playing games on TV or on the Computer or having a picnic outside for some fresh air or going on dates to various places with beautiful scenery and entertainments.

Namjoon even found a way to make Hoseok take his medicine by turning it into a sexual thing feeding him the medicine with Hoseok's hand held up locked in his hold and by using his mouth he will transfer the pill into Hoseok's mouth followed with water and a deep kiss which then leads to more than a kiss trailing down Hoseok's naked chest all the way down to you know where.

Since then, Hoseok now looked forward to taking his medicine when Namjoon is around more than he usually does Hahahaha.

However there is no denying the slow gradual depletion of his health as the new heart transplant was quickly failing him destroying itself.... Again! How many times has this happen now?

Hoseok still shines brightly through it so you would never know his heart is literally breaking and how much he was suffering.

-><

On Christmas Day, Namjoon and Hoseok took to the next stage of their relationship and are now having sex as much as possible because it just so happens, that Hoseok is very much naughty and a pervert in bed.

Surprisingly Hoseok topped and Namjoon bottoms. Frankly, no one saw that coming and neither did they themselves. It just naturally happened and for the first time in forever that Hoseok got to be the one doing the caring.

He enjoys taking care of his sweetheart Namjoon's needs in bed watching him mewl under him whenever he thrust hard inside him making sure to hit his prostrate over and over again without mercy.

He abuse Namjoon's sweet spot so that he moans loudly making Namjoon cum several time until he turns to sweaty pudding falling on the bed becoming numb all over.

The sex is so good especially when Hoseok is feeling a little healthy he doesn't go easy on Namjoon's butt hole who then ended up proposing in the middle of his high after their third time doing it when Hoseok slammed harder into his prostrate sending Namjoon into Nirvana traveling the highest bridge high up into the clouds.

Who can blame him for not proposing immediately after experiencing such sweetness? I mean wouldn't you?

While they rest after sex, Hoseok spooning Namjoon with an oxygen gas mask on and before falling asleep Namjoon whispered these words to Hoseok turning to face him.

''Ah! My God Hobi s-so good .... (Namjoon breathes heavily his sweat soaked chiseled chest lifts up and down)" Namjoon smiled revealing those cute dimples

Hoseok smirks back at him, tapping Namjoon on the bridge of his nose with a tease and the two of them laugh.

"Seokseok... Do you know that over and over I've dreamed of this night? Now you're here by my side; you are next to me. I want to hold you and touch you and taste you (he kiss Hoseok's fingers one by one) and make you want no one but me. I wish that this kiss could never end no-no...
oh, baby please Tell me, and could I hold you for a lifetime? Could I look into your eyes? Could I have this night to share this night together? Could I hold you close beside me? Could I hold you for all time? Could I..."

"Could I...'' Repeats Hoseok after him

''Hoseok Could I have this kiss forever? Would you please marry me?'' ask Namjoon

Hoseok throw away his gas mask before yelling with excitement, "Hahaha YES!! YES NAMJOON I WOULD MARRY YOU... Oh the love of my life''

->>>

They got engaged and not long after they got married on the rooftop of their school in front of everyone, their close group of friends and teachers. Everyone was happy for them. It's like no one said anything but they all just knew that Hoseok could leave them anytime soon that's why they all support their fast pace union together showering them with gifts that each couldn't afford and gifts that can be of use as of now.

Although they are still teenagers they got married with the entire school on New Year's. It was a simple wedding ceremony and New Year's party 🎉.

-><

The day everyone knew was coming but still dreaded eventually arrived out of the blue in the middle of their happiness.

It was just after Easter when Hoseok's heart finally expired and he was rushed to the hospital.

Namjoon was out of town for 2 nights for a basketball tournament in another country.

He was told the bad news right after they had just won the national championship and he was looking forward to sharing in his joy with the love of his life when he received that dreadful call.

Hoseok wanted to go cheer him on but he was not stable enough and had been bedridden for some time getting to Namjoon's departure so it became too dangerous for him to travel to another country let alone leave even his room.

Hoseok insisted on getting out of bed to watch the television where Namjoon and his friends' game would be displayed on TV and he couldn't miss it since he wasn't able go in person. He wanted to support his husband at least by watching the game and cheering for him.

When they went on advertisement in-between the game on TV, suddenly Hoseok said to his nurse,

''Jin Hyung Can you promise me that no matter what happen in the future, if-if I suddenly left him, pl-please can you promise to always stay by his side? C-can you promise me to love him in place of me so he won't have to miss me too much please Seokjin hyung? I know it's selfish of me to ask you of this but.... I just worry about him .... I am afraid ... I –I ...''

''STOP IT! Nothing is going to happen and you don't even have to ask me that or think you are being selfish because I care about you both too much to leave any of you alone''

''I I really need to hear you promise me please Hyung at least that way I...I-''

''OK I promise you Hoseok. I promise to never leave his side until I die. I promise to-to take care of him and-and love him .... (He gulps nervously) ... I will protect and love him enough so he won't ever feel alone and make sure he lives the rest of his life fully ok? Does that make you feel better now? ..... Then can we stop talking about this because you are not going to die at least until your old with grey hair and no tooth hahaha can you just imagine that pfffhahahahaha''

Both boys burst out laughing and just like that the gloomy solemn atmosphere is replaced again with a cheerful one. The game also returns on TV.

He got up and went to make a special presents and write letters to congratulate his husband and his team. He had the picture of the wedding with him every time to look at just to reminisce over his happiest moment to re-live it over in his head whenever he gets bored of sleeping and lying in bed all the time.

He also bought gifts and special note for every team member, teachers and anyone he could remember thanking them all for everything. He plans for the gifts to arrive after their graduation which is right around the corner.

Hoseok carefully stood up to finally go rest in his bed in his room after the game had finished and his school won the championship cup when he'd collapsed on the spot on his way to his bedroom that he shared with Namjoon in their apartment.

Luckily his nurse Seokjin and his mother were staying with him at the apartment to look after Hoseok who was not feeling very well and had insisted on staying at the apartment he shared with Namjoon as it has Namjoon's scent everywhere that way he won't miss him too much.

Namjoon rushed along with everyone else running behind him going straight to the hospital after arriving in town. It took them one whole day to get back.

The whole time Hoseok's heart shouldn't be beating as he was not attached to anything except the heart monitor but it refused to die and continued to very vaguely beat after some pretty long intervals in between.

It was as if Hoseok's spirit was manually pumping the dead heart in his chest so the doctors couldn't pronounce the time of death. They came close to taking off the heart monitor machine seeing that there is nothing else they could do to save him but then Hoseok's hand moved to squeeze the doctor's hand that was holding his.

It was quiet the strangest think that the doctors and his parents and even the nurses, almost everyone stood frozen around the pale body on the bed not knowing what to do. They could tell he was barely hanging on to life.

-><

Namjoon finally made his way to the hospital room ignoring everyone else that stood on standby frozen in their spot surrounding his husband's bed.

The only sound heard is the heart monitor and the quiet sobs of the women in the room with them.

The others, his basketball teammates and teachers followed in after him. Everyone is on standing still all watching Namjoon approach Hoseok lying in the bed in the middle of the room. He looked so small almost like a stick vanishing under the blankets covering him.

"Sweetheart oh my God ...Ugh (he bit his lip and he could hear Hoseok reprimanding him for doing that) .... (Huffing and breathing in staccato) Oh my love; you look so pale.... my love I miss you very much. .... Kim Hoseok my first love my one and only husband please talk to me. You know... we won the game, di-did you see us on T.V? Did you watch me throw you a kiss when I won? Did I look handsome enough to make you fall in love with me all over again?" He felt a weak squeeze from Hoseok although his eyes were close shut.

"Baby have you been waiting to see me?" Another weak squeeze from Hoseok

"Oh my love I am here now"

Namjoon kissed Hoseok's hands, tears gushing down his cheeks his voice trembles weakly. He struggled to ask the next question, he blinks several times to clear the tears from blurring his vision.

"H-Hobi baby A-are you in p-pain?"

This time he waited a bit longer and nothing came. Hoseok did not reply with a light squeeze. Nothing at all and it scares Namjoon

"P-please baby ....please...Squeeze my hand if-if you are in pain and I will count down from 10 and if-if during that time you didn't squeeze my hand then-then I will take that as a 'no' o-ok my love? I-I shall start counting down t-try and squeeze my hand if you are in a lot of pain ok?" he frantically blurted out those words in a panic.

It's as if the whole room was holding their breath while watching Namjoon count down.

"10.....9......8.......7........6......5-" he felt a strong squeeze that even the people in the room all were able to see with their eyes.

The whole room gasped the sobbing grew a bit louder and Namjoon fell on his knees clenching his own heart as if he was the one in pain.

He knows now at least this time he is not totally useless at taking away the pain of his beloved. But the words are stuck to his throats and he struggle to get them out knowing it means goodbye once those words escape his mouth even though it also means that Hoseok will be free of his pain and he doesn't feel ready to do that. Namjoon did not feel ready to let go of him yet or EVER!!

He cries trying hard to not make too much sound because Hoseok could still hear him and Namjoon doesn't want Hoseok to hurt more knowing that Namjoon was in pain.

Namjoon could kind of notice the slight shadow of worry pained wrinkle on Hoseok's face the more he looked closer and so he quietly sobs into the palm of his free hand.

After a while Namjoon finally manages to gather up enough courage to speak again.

"Seokseok baby, before I give you what you urge.....(he choked a bit) B-before I give you what you want, please c-can you tell me how much you love me one last time please..." begged Namjoon closing his eyes kissing Hoseok's hand which he now grasp desperately in both of his hands.

Namjoon didn't even finish what he planned to say when his fingers were literally being crushed in the strongest squeeze.

Namjoon surprise, he couldn't help the relief plus happiness that blooms inside him to the surface when he suddenly chuckle a laughter through his sobs.

His wet face now showing the widest grin of satisfaction from the answer Hoseok could manage to give him. The squeeze didn't die down at all.

The love declaration isn't said with words because Hoseok is unable to but the little act or demonstration through the hand squeeze is more than enough for Namjoon to feel like he can let go of his love at least physically because Hoseok will forever be his One and Only true love.

He could finally say those terrifying magic words that will set his husband free from the pain.

"Hoseok you will forever be the love of my life. I shall not forget you no matter what. I promise to take better care of myself and my in laws will always be my family. Thank you for coming into my life bringing your exuberant brightness to shine down on me, highlighting my life into the happiest times. Thank you for accepting me and loving me unconditionally as I do to you. Thank you for keeping your promise to me and now I shall also fulfill my part of the promise to you. P-please don't be lonely in heaven and know that you still carry my heart with you so... please take great care of my heart for me until we shall meet again my love. '' he kisses Hoseok's closed eyes

Namjoon continues...

'' I don't want any night to go by without you by my side Hobi-ya... (he cries)...I just want all my days spent being next to you, Lived for just loving you and baby, ...Could I hold you for a lifetime? Could I look into your eyes? Could I have this life to share this lifetime with you together? Could I hold you close beside me? Could I hold you for all time? Could I, could I, could I live this dream with you forever? ... '' He takes a big gulp ready to say those dreaded words.

''KIM HOSEOK, I KIM NAMJOON LOVE YOU AND I GIVE YOU.... M-MY P-PERMISSION... BY L-LETTING YOU ... (Mmn...moan cry escaped him a little before saying the last few words). ...Y-YOU MAY G-GO NOW HOSEOK... I- I WILL BE OK SO D-DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME AND T-TRUST ME... I-I WILL BE FINE I PROMISE ....I Love you~" he said whispering the last part then breaking into tears as his left hand finger catches the tear drops falling out of Hoseok's closed eyes. He leans in and kisses Hoseok on the lips one final time.

Hoseok then slowly let loose of his hold on Namjoon's right hand then in the last minute he squeezes down hardest on Namjoon right hand for the very last time using his last strength, his lips stretched a little into a smile for a brief second, his hand eventually letting go and falling lifelessly beside the bed with a thud followed with a....

'Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeb'

The entire room remain quiet as if everyone in the room is frozen in shock like they did not expect Hoseok to actually leave them. It became eerily silent it's almost like they were all trying to listen to a heartbeat that isn't there. You could hear a pin drop.

Namjoon sensing Hoseok spirit leaving his body could do nothing but just look at Hoseok's empty face like his eyes will open any minute telling him this is all a set up or maybe that it's only his nightmare and none of it is real. (<Authornim also want that too. Seriously, I look hideous crying right now>)

Knowing it is all but a wish and that everything is very real his husband, his love, His Kim Hoseok has really left him to go somewhere he couldn't reach him, Namjoon instantly crumbled to the floor his crying escalated along with everyone else's in the room.

->>

Soo many attended Hoseok's funeral and had soo much kind stories of Hoseok to share with everyone.

Unknowingly to them, Hoseok's last present parcel bought online right before his death was slowly due to arrive to everyone's doorstep pretty soon after graduation.

->>

Namjoon graduated with honors and was now a rich CEO of his own company in producing music because of something Hoseok gifted him with that arrived the day of their graduation as if Hoseok was able to see the future and knew what to get Namjoon.

Namjoon still met up with his team to play basketball as part of their annual reunion.

Namjoon also did the 2nd thing Hoseok listed for him to do and that is, bringing someone like Seokjin who was with him throughout his time with Hoseok and even after that. The two bonded over time and now Seokjin (Hoseok's special young nurse) complete his life. They both had one special thing in common; their love for Hoseok will never be replaced by anything else even though they are together.

Hoseok will always be loved.

->> [BONUS CHAPTER OF THIS BOOK]

Hoseok smiles in heaven seeing how happy Seokjin makes Namjoon and now he is an avid cheer leader for NamJin shippers up in heaven.

''Hey you! Yeah you angel army I am talking to you. You better ship NamJin hard or FIGHT ME!!'' yelled Hoseok in gwanju accent, his hand bawled up in front of him ready to fight anyone that will dare challenge him.

->>

The moral of the story is that, if you love someone tell them... don't wait ....because you might not have the opportunity if you keep pushing it backwards delaying it. Sometimes it is a good thing to rush things plus sometimes it is also good to pause a bit and appreciate what you have if you know what I mean... SAY WHAT IS ON YOUR MIND TODAY. TELL THOSE YOU LOVE THAT YOU LOVE THEM BEFORE ITS TOO LATE ..... LEARNE FROM REGRETS; LEAVE NO REGRETS.

->>

....

....

....

Authornim final words

Yep that's it! YAY!!!

My first one shot of Namseok.

Thank you for reading this story up to the end and sorry for the spelling and grammar mistakes. I wrote this when I should be sleeping after taking some sleeping pills lol those pills are duds clearly, since I still haven't slept!!

Also the whole heart transplant and hospital stuff mentioned in the story, I completely made them up so yeah it's a fiction guys lol

Do leave comments kudos and subscribe to my ID for more Hoseok and BTS stories in the future.

Again really thank you

See u soon another time with Yoonseok, Vhope, 2Seok, JungHope and Jihope stories and maybe more Namseok plus other ships who really knows....i don't .... Lol Hahahaha