KHUSHI

I looked around my room nervously hoping I had managed to create enough space for him while he unpacked. All this felt scary and exciting at the same time, all I hoped was that the outcome of this was going to be a good one because honestly I didn't know how I was going to be able to handle another heartbreak.

"Are you leaving or not?" Arnav looked at me.

"I can reschedule, I really feel I should stay back and help you get settled."

"I am fine Khushi, I'll just arrange my stuff and head to work also, you shouldn't have to miss our therapy sessions because of this, now come on, get going."

"Fine, if you say so." I pouted as I started looking around for my things, I was so absent minded today, I couldn't remember where I had put my bag or my phone or even my car keys, it took me a while until I found everything.

I arrived on time for my appointment so I headed straight to Neel's office, he greeted me with a smile as soon as I walked in.

"So... how have you been?"

"Good I guess." I smiled awkwardly, I really never knew how to start the conversation with him yet somehow I ended up talking to him so much more than I would to anyone else.

"So, what have you been up to the past two weeks? Anything new?"

"Not much, I've just been busy with work as usual, oh and Arnav and I decided to live together, he just moved in today."

"Wow, that is a big step, would you like to talk about it? How does it make you feel?"

"I don't know... excited and nervous at the same time. I mean it was a mutual decision of course but then I just keep thinking, what if it doesn't work out, what if he breaks my heart again, how will I be able to survive it. I have this repetitive and endless thoughts that make me worry so much. It's like I want to do it and I don't want to do it at the same time."

"I understand you, how about you just let things go by flow. I know it's not easy to tell your mind to stop thinking a certain way and it would stop but how about you just concentrate on the moment yeah? Concentrate on what you are doing now and how that is making you feel, that way you would avoid worrying about what might come ahead.

"Yeah, I can try that."

*****

I walked out of Neel's office once my session was over, we talked about a lot of other things after the little discussion about Arnav and I living together but anyway that wasn't the point. The thing was the way I was feeling at the moment and I realized it was some sort of a pattern.

I had been to like three or four sessions so far and every time I finished the session, I would leave feeling so low and it would last the entire day and sometimes the day after too. I didn't know why it happened because generally therapy is supposed to make you feel better right?

I headed straight to my office after that so I could get started on the next wedding I had to plan, I had a lot of work to do and I dint feel like doing it.

I got into the whole wedding planning business because I loved to do it so much and now it was like I didn't want to do it anymore.

As I pulled up at the parking lot, I noticed Arnav's car there, I parked my car quickly and stepped out wondering what he was doing here.

I found him waiting just outside my office and as soon as I saw him, I just rushed to hug him, he held me tightly into his arms and held on as long as I wanted to.

"Is everything okay?" he asked after I broke the hug, I just nodded as I unlocked the office so we could go inside.

"I thought you were heading to work." I said.

"I was, but I thought I'd pass by and see how your session went."

"It was okay, just like the other sessions." I sighed as I sat down on my chair, he kept on staring at me in concern waiting for me to continue saying something.

"I just feel so sad Arnav, I feel like crying and I don't know why because nothing had happened that would make me want to cry. Why do I always feel like this after I'm done with the session?" I asked.

"Because you talk about things Khushi, things that you might be keeping hidden inside you, things that you were too scared to talk about or even think of because you thought they would cause you pain. Because when you talk about it all, it reminds you of all the terrible things that have happened to you and it's okay to feel that way, you talking about it helps you accept it and at one point it stops making you feel sad."

"Hmm... makes sense." I nodded.

"Hey, how about I take you some place nice for brunch?" He smiled at me.

"Don't you have work to do?" I smiled.

"I do but it can wait, if yours can wait too then we can go, it will help make you feel better." He smiled.

"Sure." I nodded, maybe spending time with him would help me feel better instead of spending the whole day just feeling low.

*****

As soon as we stepped out of the car, he held my hand while he led me inside the restaurant, it was crazy how despite knowing him for a while, his touch still gave me butterflies.

We got ourselves a table and sat down as we grabbed the menus, I looked around the restaurant for a while before deciding what to eat, it was such a beautiful place, it had both outdoor and indoor sitting and there was a beautiful garden around it also, if someone was looking to have a small intimate wedding, this would be such a good place for it.

Okay, I should stop thinking about work and just concentrate on my brunch with my boyfriend. I looked at Arnav and found him already staring at me which made me blush.

"So... what's going on in your mind?" He asked once we had placed our orders.

"Nothing much, I'm just glad you're here to make me feel better when I'm feeling low."

"That's the best thing about living together, anytime you feel low, I'll always be right there with you and I'll always do my best to cheer you up, you had done that for me a while back." He smiled.

"Where do you expect this whole living together with lead us to?" I asked.

"Marriage I guess? If that's what you're looking forward to too."

"Are you kidding? I'm a wedding planner, I've dreamt of planning my wedding since forever." I giggled.

"Good to know, at least we'll save the cost of a wedding planner." He joked. I looked around hoping our waiter would get us food soon, I hadn't had any breakfast and now I was so hungry my stomach was making weird noises.

While I looked around, I spotted Sonakshi a couple tables away from us, she was with a few other girls that I didn't recognize and just seeing her here made me so uncomfortable. Why was it that she always ended up in the same places as us? Especially restaurants, even the last time we were at the same restaurants.

I looked away and tried to look everywhere else, Arnav hadn't noticed her yet and she hadn't noticed her either, I really hoped it would remain that way because I really dint want any interaction with her.

But as if things were going to work like I wanted them to, as soon as the waiter came with our food, I saw her walking towards us.

Oh God! Here we go.

"Hey Arnav! What a pleasant surprise." She smiled so brightly at him it was almost blinding. Okay I really don't know why I had so much dislike towards her.

"Hey. What are you doing here?" Arnav asked.

"Just hanging out with the girls, you know this is my favorite place, I should be asking what you're doing here."

"Well I'm on a date with my girlfriend, I don't believe you've met her, she's Khushi, the girl with my heart." He smiled at me.

"No we haven't, it's nice to finally meet you Khushi. I've heard so much about you from my mother." She smiled at me, why was she smiling at me? Why was she acting so nice? Okay Khushi, she was being nice, you don't have to overthink this.

"Good to meet you too." I smiled as I shook hands with her. I just dint like the way she was looking at me, as if trying to find faults with me so she could use them against me or something like that.

"Anyway Sona, do you mind? We're in the middle of a date, we like it to be just us." Arnav said.

"Yeah sure, I totally get it." She said looking a bit disappointed as she walked back to her table and sat down, but her eyes were still here, it was really uncomfortable.

"Why would you bring me to her favorite place Arnav?" I looked away from Sonakshi and back to him.

"What? I... It dint cross my mind Khushi. When Sonakshi and I were together we went to so many different restaurants, and I just brought you here because they serve nice brunch and it's a peaceful place. I really dint know she would be here and I swear I really dint remember it was her favorite place." He tried to explain.

"Okay." I just dint like that every time we went out we ended up bumping into her, it reminded me so much of the time he chose her over me.

"Khushi... you know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. I really didn't remember this was her favorite place, please believe me. If you want, we can leave right away?" he looked really sad.

Okay maybe I was just making a big deal out of this, he had even asked her to leave us alone and that showed how he understood me and that I wasn't comfortable with her here, maybe I should stop looking at everything in a negative way. Hey, that's why I was in therapy right.

"No, it's okay. Our food is here we should eat and forget she's here." I said as I grabbed my spoon and started eating.

"I am really sorry." Arnav apologized again.

"I understand Arnav, you don't have to apologize for it, it's not your fault. It's just that... you loved her so much that sometimes it scares me."

"I loved her Khushi... now I love you and she's just a friend now, that's what she always will be. You are my everything now, please trust me on that?"

"I do." I smiled at him, he smiled back as he started eating too. I turned to look towards her table once again and she was still staring at us.

I was okay with Arnav having a past, everyone had a past, but I don't know why I just really had a bad feeling about her, and usually my gut feelings towards people were always right. She was bad news and I was really scared that she might try to do something to make things worse for us.