ARNAV

There was something different, I really couldn't put a finger on it but something just dint feel right, or things just dint feel the same. Maybe I was being paranoid or I was just overthinking things but something felt different.

When we first started dating, it was so beautiful, Khushi wouldn't stop talking, telling me random stories and everything and we were so comfortable with each other, I mean everything was really perfect between us and then we broke up.

I think the breakup changed a lot more than I thought, yes it did some good like make me realize my feelings for her and everything but it also made us somehow distant, I know it was just the first date after getting back together but I just thought it would be like before, we would get back to normal which dint seem like the case.

I think Sona coming back had somehow affected Khushi in a way that she developed some sort of anxiety and now she was too worried, she wasn't just the same with me. Maybe it was going to take time for her to heal and I was okay with that, I had hurt a lot I couldn't expect her to heal in a day but then it scared me too, what if things never went back to normal between us? What if this is how it was always going to be?

I just wanted for us to go back to normal, to be happy with each other, for her to tell me all about how her day went like and for me to listen to her like I always did and I really hoped that someday we would get back there.

I stared at the ceiling blankly just thinking about our date tonight, and Sona showing up at the restaurant, and somehow it made me wonder, did she do it on purpose? I mean she did confess that she loved me but then I hadn't told anyone about Khushi and I getting back together, no one even knew that I was going on a date with her let alone where I would take her, so maybe it was just a coincidence, but I really had to make sure I did everything in my power to make Khushi feel secure, I just wanted her to know I chose her and I might have loved Sona a lot in the past but since she came into my life, it has been all about her.

*****

The next morning, I decided to go to her place the first thing, I wanted to make sure she visited a doctor and at least talked about everything she was going through at the moment.

I remember when I had felt like that when we thought Sonakshi had passed away, for a long time I was trapped in a dark hole, but then with therapy and some medication, things got better.

I stood outside her house nervously not sure whether to ring the doorbell or not, maybe the breakup dint just change Khushi, it changed me too, because if I would have come here before, I wouldn't hesitate in ringing the doorbell ever, but now I had to think too much about everything before doing it.

The breakup really messed us up both dint it? The only thing I wondered was, were we ever going to heal from it?

After contemplating for a few minutes, I finally pressed the button and few second later, Khushi opened the door.

"Arnav?" She looked at me in surprise, she looked like she had just woken up, she was dressed in her pj's, her hair was all messy and she was rubbing her eyes to make sure it was actually me. She looked so beautiful I wanted to hug her right away.

"I'm sorry I woke you up, I didn't know you were sleeping." I apologized.

"It's okay, come in." She stepped aside to let me in, I walked in and started looking around not knowing what to do, things just seemed to be too awkward for no reason whatsoever.

"What bring you here in the morning today?" She asked

"I told you we'll go see the doctor today remember?"

"Oh yeah... do we have to? I'm sure whatever worries I have will disappear on their own with time."

"What if they don't? what if they get worse? What's the harm in seeing a doctor Khushi? It better we do it now and not wait until it gets worse, please?"

"Okay, let me shower and get ready. Make yourself comfortable, there's the remote, you can watch Tv meanwhile." She said as she pointed to where the remote was, I nodded so she headed back to her room to get ready while I sat there just scrolling through my phone, I really dint feel like watching TV.

I really hoped that whatever Khushi had been feeling off late wasn't too serious, I just wanted for her to be okay, like how she was before I broke her. I just felt so guilty, if I had acted better in the situation, things wouldn't be like this, when she asked me to choose, if I had just chosen her instantly things would have been way different.

I don't even know what I was thinking at that moment, when I decided to start dating her it was obvious, I wouldn't have been so into her if I hadn't moved on from Sonakshi already, but the heart acts how it wants and mine chose to take little longer and mess things up for me.

*****

"I'm ready." She announced, standing in front of me dressed in a blue denim jean with a white t-shirt and some white shoes, she looked beautiful as ever. Every time I'd look at her she would just steal my breath away.

"Okay, let's get going then." I stood up and walked towards her, held her hand into mine and walked out with her, I just wanted to make sure she knew that I was there for her, through everything and I wasn't going to leave, ever again.

We got into my car and I immediately drove off, she sat beside me silently just tapping her feet and fiddling with her fingers, she seemed really nervous.

"Are you okay Khushi? We don't have to do this if you aren't ready, I don't want to force you for it."

"Yeah... I'm just nervous, I don't like visiting any kind of doctors, it just makes me so nervous."

"Hey, don't worry, it's going to be alright, besides it isn't even anything big, and I will be with you, it's going to be fine okay?"

"Okay." She nodded as she smiled faintly and looked outside the window.

The while ride was so silent it broke me, I felt like I had taken her voice away or something, the girl that wouldn't stop talking to me had nothing to say to me today... I really wished things would have been different.

Once we arrived, I held her hand once again and walked in with her, I had already booked an appointment so we didn't have to wait, we went straight into the office.

"Arnav, good to see you again, how have you been doing?" Neel greeted me with a big smile.

"I've been good, how have you been?"

"Great as ever. Have a seat please." He said pointing towards the chairs so Khushi and I sat down, she kept on looking at me nervously.

"So, tell me... is it happening again?" He asked.

"No... not with me... but this is my girlfriend, Khushi. She's been having some problems recently, I just thought we could see you and figure thing out?"

"Oh okay... Hi Khushi, I'm Neel a psychologist, you seem nervous, are you scared of me?" He asked.

"Not really, just generally nervous." She laughed a little, the thing with Neel was that he was always such a happy kind of man, he always knew how to make someone laugh and he always made you feel so comfortable around him.

"Okay, so how about Arnav gives us some alone time so we can talk, is that okay with you?" He asked her.

"Can't he stay?" She looked at me like she didn't want me to leave.

"Of course he can, but there might be things you wouldn't be comfortable talking about in front of him, he can wait outside but if you still want him to be here that's fine too, anything that's comfortable with you."

"I'll stay if you want me to, otherwise I'll just be outside, I won't go anywhere I promise." I assured her.

"Okay, you can wait outside if that's what he suggests." She agreed, so I smiled at her and stood up as I headed to sit outside while Neel talked to her and helped her figure out what she was going through.

I sat on the bench outside knowing this was going to take a while but I really hoped it would help her like it helped me in the past.

Funny isn't it? How life changes so quickly, I mean it was just like yesterday, Khushi and I were so happy, everything in our life seemed so perfect and then things just changed suddenly and nothing was the same again.

*****

After the session was over, Neel called me back inside and I sat down beside Khushi and asked her if she was okay to which she nodded positively.

"So... we talked, and I think it's not that bad, she's having some anxiety and since it's been constant for a while now, I would suggest she takes therapy, it would help, it's not too bad so I wouldn't prescribe her any medicines but therapy would really help." Neel explained.

"Are you okay with taking therapy?" I looked at Khushi.

"If it's going to help yes, I want to feel like myself again, I don't like feeling this way."

"Okay, then we'll start soon, you can come for a session next week, Arnav will give you my number, you can confirm timings with me and we'll get started."

"Okay." She nodded.

"Thank you Neel, anyway I'll get going, see you around." I shook hands with him and Khushi and I walked out, she was silent and I really didn't want to ask her many questions, so I just made the payment at the reception and headed back to the car with her.

Once we were inside, she immediately pulled me in for a hug and held on to me for a while, I hugged her back tightly and hugged her as long as she needed it.

"Thank you for bringing me here, just talking to him and explaining everything made me feel a lot lighter, I felt like I had been carrying so much weight with me." She said as she broke the hug and looked at me with a smile, it was so genuine and beautiful, and somehow it made me realize that maybe not today but one day we were going to get back to normal.

"So, what do you want to do now?"

"What do you mean what do I want to do? I am free today but don't you have to go to work?" She laughed, I just smiled at how beautiful her laughter was.

"I am free for you anytime baby." I smirked and then winked at her making her blush.

"How about we go for brunch? You dint eat anything before coming here."

"Sure, sounds good." She nodded as I started driving, she was still silent while I drove but this time, she leaned in towards me and rested her head on my shoulder and this sure felt like we were back to normal, maybe not as normal as before but this was our new normal and I was happy with it as long as she was here with me.

The only thing I had to make sure was to not let Sonakshi come in between this, anyhow.