I sat down far away from the crowd silently having millions of thoughts running through my mind, I tried looking for NK but I had no idea where he had disappeared to suddenly, and I dint know anyone else that could give me company so I just sat down alone thinking about Arnav.

I wished I could stop thinking about him, but it was like my mind liked thinking about him so here I was, wondering once again why he wanted to talk to me after ignoring me. Why did he have to ignore me though? I just couldn't get it.

My phone beeped with a notification so I looked at the screen, now he was texting me. Seriously Arnav? A while ago you wouldn't even look at me!

I unlocked my phone and opened the WhatsApp message he had just sent to me, it was a link so I opened it wondering what it was. It directed me to the YouTube app and the song started playing.

Okay, so he was sending me songs now? I wasn't going to melt!

It was the slowed and reverb version of 'Ankhon mein teri' and as soon as it started playing, it felt like peace to my ears. It wasn't like I had never listened to this song before, I had, I had just never listened to it in this slow version which was really good.

I looked around trying to see if he was anywhere around me maybe looking at how I was going to react to the music but he wasn't, so I closed my eyes and listened to it and I swear it was so beautiful it melted my heart even though I didn't want it to melt.

I just had this passion for music, like I couldn't obviously sing well but I loved music, I was obsessed with it, I just felt like you could express any type of feelings through music.

I opened my eyes after the song was over and looked around, the wedding was still going on but Arnav wasn't anywhere in between the crowd, I wondered where he was, most of all, I wanted to ask him why he had sent me that song, so I stood up and decided to go around looking for him.

I searched the entire area where the guests and everyone were supposed to sit but he wasn't there, what was with guys disappearing today when I was looking for them?

I stopped walking and frowned for a moment, I was tired of looking for him so I decided maybe I should just go back and continue watching the wedding, I turned around and bumped into him.

"Hey." He smiled. Oh please, don't smile at me like that now, it's just melting my heart more and more.

"Hey." I replied trying to look everywhere else but at him, I don't know why looking at him was making me want to kiss him so badly. Khushi put a hold on your freaking hormones!

"I was looking for you. I just wanted to apologize for my behavior, you were right, I was being a jerk." He said. Aww, that completed melted me. Why Arnav? Why are you making me feel like this?

"Doesn't matter, you'll apologize right now and then start behaving like that all over again." I said still trying to act mad even when all I wanted to do was grab that handsome face of his and smash my lips against his. I mean look at those juicy lips, they were calling out to me.

"I promise I won't. I actually wanted to explain my behavior and I promise it wasn't your fault, I just have some unresolved issues and I realized, you don't deserve to be treated like that because of my issues. I am really sorry. I promise I won't act like that again, please forgive me." He held both his ears and pouted cutely. How could I say no to that?

"Okay you are forgiven, but if you ever act like that again, I'm never ever talking to you." I smiled.

"Thank you." He smiled and then stepped closer to me.

"Let me say what I couldn't say earlier today, you look so freaking beautiful. I couldn't take my eyes off you Khushi. I thought you should know that, whether I say it or not, you are beautiful." He smiled at me.

Okay the stupid feelings were back again, oh my heart. He looked at me, into my eyes as if he wanted to say something to me but was wondering whether he should or shouldn't. Why was he looking at me like that though, his piercing gaze was just making it so hard for me. I really wanted to kiss him, but I wasn't sure if he wanted to kiss me. Did you want to kiss me Arnav?

"Is that why you sent me the song?" I asked.

"I have a long explanation about that song." He laughed, oh that beautiful laughter of his, that was it, I was losing all my control. I took a step forward so I was close to him, leaving no space between us, please take the hint Arnav, please.

"Khushi." He looked at me in confusion, I was done hiding whatever I felt towards him so I guess I was going to put it out here in the open and let him know what I felt for him.

"Would it be wrong if I said I want to kiss you?" I asked. Wow, I said it but now I was feeling embarrassed, I shouldn't have said it, because he stood there looking at me in shock, his eyes wide open as if he couldn't believe what I had just said.

"Oh shit, I've made you awkward haven't I?" I said nervously.

"No, don't be embarrassed about it please, I would be lying if I said I hadn't thought of it myself either." He cupped my face and looked at me seriously. Okay that did make me feel better, at least I wasn't the only one feeling this way.

"Really?" I smiled happily.

"Really. But..." I dint have the patience to let him complete his sentence and by the time I realized there was a but along with it, my lips were already on his and I knew I was going to regret not letting him finish his sentence but I don't know what happened to me, when he said he had thought of kissing me too, I wanted to do it so badly, I did it. I went for the moment and kissed him, he seemed surprised at first but he dint push me away, he didn't stop me he just let me kiss him.

Oh my God. This felt so beautiful, my lips on his, him kissing me back so softly, it felt so damn good I wanted to stay here and kiss him forever. A moment later, as if he had just realized something, he pulled himself backwards and looked at me with shock. Okay, I said before that I was going to regret this, seeing the expressions on his face, I was already regretting it. Not the kiss, it was definitely worth it, just my decision to do it, I wish I had let him finish his sentence, just because he said he thought of kissing me didn't mean he wanted to.

Oh what was wrong with me? I was never like this, I never acted so fast, why did I do this today?

"You regret it don't you?" I asked him, I felt like I was having a sudden panic attack.

"No! No Khushi, I don't regret it, I just... I wished you could have let me finish what I was saying. I don't think you would have wanted to kiss me after I said it." He looked at the floor sadly.

No, please Arnav don't ruin our first kiss like this. It wasn't definitely my fist ever kiss, I remember my first kiss and I swear it dint feel as good as this one, because that kiss never had any feelings attached to it, it had happened in school and I was just stupid I dint care much about it but this... it was my first kiss with him, and it had so much feelings from my side at least and it was the most beautiful thing I had experienced, I dint want it ruined.

"I know, I heard your but when I was already kissing you and I dint want to pull apart. Shit! I should have listened first!" I said feeling sad.

"Hey, calm down okay. Look I don't regret it, neither should you regret it, for my first ever kiss, it was beautiful trust me, and I really would want to kiss you again, the second time, the third time and a millionth time but I am so complicated Khushi and I don't want to hurt you.

I dint want to hurt you in the first place that's why I was ignoring you but after what you told me, I realized I was hurting you by ignoring you also. Look I know there's a lot of attraction between us, neither of us can deny it and I wish I could take it forward, I really wish, but I... I don't feel like I am at that point in my life where I want to move on from Sona." He said sadly.

"Sona?" I asked.

"Sonakshi. She was the love of my life." He smiled, I would be lying if I said I wasn't jealous because of the smile he had on his face because of another girl, what had I gotten myself into?

"Was? Are you no more together?" I asked. Did they break up? If yes why? And he seemed like he loved her a lot, so why would the break up? He said this was his first ever kiss, so had he never kissed Sonakshi? If they were together why not? I was so confused.

"She passed away a year ago." Arnav said as he looked at the floor, I saw a tear drop down his eyes as it fell on the ground direct, oh this was so freaking painful. All this time I heard about Sona, I never thought that she was no more.

"I am so sorry Arnav, I had no idea."

"It's not your fault, I never told you about her, how would you know."

"I dint know you had never kissed anyone before, I swear if I knew I would have asked you first. I am sorry I ruined your first kiss." I apologized.

"You dint ruin it Khushi, please don't think that. I loved it, it was beautiful trust me when I say this, I don't regret it either." He assured me.

"You said Sonakshi was the love of your life, you guys never kissed? Or was it one sided?" I asked curiously, nothing was making sense.

"It's difficult to explain. Okay, you see how close Asha and my mom are right? They have been friends since forever, Sonakshi was Asha's daughter and so obviously we met so many times, we literally grew up together, we were really good friends.

After our studies were done, I joined my dad's business and she got into the fashion world, she started her modelling career and everything was perfect. But slowly as she got out there in the huge fashion world, imagine the number of guys she met, and that was when I realized my feelings for her.

I was always so jealous of her talking to other guys or giving any other guy more attention that she gave me, but at first I was so scared to tell her about my feelings wondering whether she felt the same for me or not, and by the time I gathered enough courage to tell her how much I loved her, she was already dating someone. I was so heartbroken, but I remained silent with my feelings.

Then one day she came and told me she had broken up with the guy she was dating and she was really sad so I did all I could to cheer her up and make her happy, it took a few months to get her back to normal and when she was, I realized I had a second chance and I had to take it before another guy came and took her away from me.

So one day, I mastered enough courage and told her about my feelings, I told her how much I loved her but obviously she had just broken up with her boyfriend and she had never really looked at me that way before so she just asked me to give her some time to think about it.

At this point I thought maybe she would say she dint feel the same for me and just decide to cut her ties with me or something but she surprised me. She said she gave it a though and she did feel like she liked me and was somehow attracted to me, so she suggested we could start by dating and that way things would progress.

I was so happy, I had loved her for so long and now I finally had the chance to be with her, I made sure to do everything possible to impress her, to make her happy and just show her how much I loved her.

So we started dating, I would take her out on these beautiful dates and everything and at the end of every date, I would think about kissing her but then brush off the thought hoping that I would kiss her only after she falls in love with me." He smiled.

"So... did she fall in love with you?" I asked.

"Actually, yes. A few months of us dating, I guess she realized it and told Asha about it, Asha being over excited called my mom and told her about it, which I overheard. I was so happy, because Sona had called me that day saying she wanted to meet me and tell me something really important, I knew what it was obviously because of our mothers, but I couldn't wait for it, so we decided to meet for dinner at night. I mean she was going to tell me she loved me and I was finally going to get the chance to kiss her, I was so excited, but that same day on her way back to home from work, she met with an accident and she dint survive it." Arnav said as he quickly pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket and wiped off his tears with.

"I am so sorry Arnav." I said as I pulled him into a hug trying to make him feel better, his life was such a tragedy, I couldn't even imagine was losing Sona felt like to him. It must have been so devastating.

"For a month I couldn't even believe she was gone Khushi, it was just so hard to accept. I mean why would God do that to me? Why would he take her away from me like that? We had the chance to be together and spend the rest of our life together and he took her away just like that." Arnav said sadly.

"Anyway... I was saying after Sona, I just stayed to my own mostly, just work and home, and then Samar and Sonali decided to get married and I met you." He smiled as he looked at me.

"You made me smile once again Khushi, you made me happy, a kind of happy I hadn't been for so long. When you would talk I would listen to you and it would calm my heart, it would brush off all the thoughts about Sona from my mind and just give me peace, the peace I had been searching for. I would even go to the temple sometimes, cry my heart out but I just never felt the peace you know...

Then Asha started playing her cupid games with us, she said she just wanted to see me happy, that was what Sona would have wanted and she said she saw how happy I was around you that's why she was putting so much effort into this.

I know you make me happy Khushi, and all I would want is happiness for you always, but my mind and my heart is still stuck with Sona, and I don't want to give you any false hopes. I know there's attraction between us, but there are also my feelings for Sona which are still there and I would never want for you to have to fight for a place in anyone's heart because you deserve it and if it can't be given to you, you shouldn't be there.

Samar made me realize that, even though I liked spending time with you and being with you, I still hadn't moved on and it wouldn't be fair of me to trap you with me when my heart still belonged to someone else, so I thought maybe if I ignore you, everything would get back to normal. But then I saw you were hurting and I realized the only thing I should have done was to tell you the truth. I am so sorry for hurting you like this, trust me, this was never my intention and that's why I came to apologize to you." He said.

"You were right Arnav, if you had told me this before I kissed you, I wouldn't have kissed you." I said sadly, he was right, he was so complicated and I dint even know if he was ever going to move on from Sona or not.

"But I also want you to know that I am glad I kissed you before you told me about this. I don't regret it now, and never would I. Maybe it was all we both needed to go ahead in our lives from here. You are right, I am really attracted to you and I like you, and I was even hoping that if you were interested we would try getting to know each other a bit more, and go on dates and fall in love, but there is no point of this if you don't want it. You're not looking for love and love is all I want and neither of us is wrong." I smiled at him faintly.

"I am so sorry Khushi, I should have told you about Sona before."

"I don't blame you Arnav, you dint know it until Samar made you realize it. Anyway at least you told me about it now, so I can decide on how I want to move on from this." I sighed.

"You know we don't have to be strangers again, we can just be friends."

"I don't think just being friends is going to work Arnav, it would make things more complicated. But you are right, we don't have to be strangers. Anytime we bump into each other somewhere, I am not going to ignore you, I think that's enough right.

"I guess so." He nodded.

"It's funny isn't it? How all of this started with the wedding and is ending the exact same day the wedding is done?"

"I really wish it dint have to end this way."

"Same here." I smiled faintly as I hugged him a goodbye and walked away. I would be lying if I said it dint hurt, it did hurt so badly but at least unlike before he wasn't ignoring me and making me question things, he told me what he wanted and I told him what I wanted, and we dint want the same things and I guess that was okay, maybe with time, I would finally manage to get rid of this feelings, because this time I knew for sure, it wasn't meant to be.