JK : It's... Noona.

Ha Na : "Noona"? Who's that?

JK : You.

For a second, the air seemed to have fallen flat. The city drone zipped quiet. It was a muddling hush, before a disoriented fluster surged Ha Na's mind.

The words so startling and unanticipated, Ha Na's reactions were rather underwhelmed.
Jeongguk found them unreadable.

She was so flabbergasted by the revelation, she didn't know how, or what to manifest outwardly. The singer looked away, the words were selling themselves out. At this point, beyond his will.

JK : I don't know since when. But it's been a while.

Jeongguk's tipsy remarks had a one way hint to them however, not expecting any sort of response or answer.
Meanwhile, Ha Na, holding her perplexity and composure, drank the last sip of wine from her glass.

Ha Na : Jeonggu- I-

JK : I know what you will say, so just spare me.

Not caring to even watch her facial cues or reactions anymore, Jeongguk casually slipped on his coat. He gave one last glance at her as he tidied up the crooked collar, before speaking. Ha Na stared down at the empty glass, seemingly contemplated.

JK : I think I have spoken enough. Forget it all, if possible. And I will see myself off-

Before he could move another muscle, Ha Na's quick remark snapped him steady.

Ha Na : Stay where you are.

The subtle shift of assertion caused Jeongguk to obediently focus his eyes at her. A little scared now, second-guessing his rash confession.
She looked up, exhibiting a straight and daunting face.

Jeongguk, rooted down, watched her walked over to him, never breaking the eye-contact. He gulped staring at the unpredictable and enigmatic face he was projected to. And Ha Na brought her hand up and stroked his soft hair, as her features softened into a mellow smile.

Ha Na : You finally called me Noona.

Jeongguk grabbed her wrist in a swift motion, preventing her from patting him.

JK : You shouldn't baby me however. I called you that in a totally different sense.

Jeongguk respectfully rested her impish hands back down. Still unclear of her intentions, he tilted his head to a side, trying to decipher the mystery plastered on her face.

JK : Am I supposed to analyze this-

Ha Na lifted her bold hands again, but this time she slid them under his overcoat and wrapped around his toned figure. Jeongguk was caught off-guard at the unalarmed move, and the little movements to cozy up against the warmth of his body, translated the unspoken words finally.

Having to suppress such urges for so long that, that moment came to Ha Na with a stronger sense of desperation. It seemed to her as though if missed a second beat, she would never be able to do it. Thence, Ha Na acted out of sheer impulse.
She shoved every little rational thought trying to knock her conscience then.

On the flip side, after a hot moment of rigorous comprehension, Jeongguk eventually latched on to the highest probability. The one, he had not once considered even as a queer prospect. A ludicrous thought of chance, that never crossed his mind before.
In an amorous daze, Jeongguk yielded his arms and locked her figure into a bear-hug. He wanted to live and relish the transient while, even if it chimed like a tantalizing dream.
Nevertheless, the taste of realism was too rich to be a mere fragment of imagination.

Not their first might it be, the embrace certainly had a fresh feeling. Something divinely rapturous.

Their heartbeats were loud, yet equally weak to overpower the serenity they had seized in their arms. Such a thoughtless state of euphoric repose. An intoxicating fervor.
It seemed as if the long deprivation plunged the emotions to pure superlatives.

Everything happened so fast and easy, that it teased both their hearts with a twinge of apprehension. The stream of afflictions that awaited them.

So much of it was hard to process that they could barely wrap their heads around the whole situation. Pulling apart after a while, Ha Na spoke over Jeongguk's thoughts.

Ha Na : There's a BTS concert next week, right?

Their figures held close together, Jeongguk scrunched his nose nodding to her.

JK : In Daegu.

Ha Na : Then, let's talk over this once you return.

JK : But-

Ha Na : I don't want us to be hasty.

Jeongguk had faint tears glittering in his eyes as he stared back into hers. It felt so unreal. He nodded with a heart of patience and understanding, and leaned after to plant a long peck on her forehead. It was a complicated dilemma of spiraling emotions. Where, the simple acceptance gave the strength to bear the most agonizing wait, the same also made it impossibly hard to resist.

Ha Na felt her heart race at such a simple skinship; she could physically feel her temperature jump up a few degrees.

Nevertheless, such electric pulse of rave could only last so long. The condition, they had both abandoned to consider miles beyond their conscious, came just right then to knock them awake. The fragile castle of transient fantasy jolted down.

"Jeongguk!"

Ha Na flinched away with an explosion of fear that suddenly erupted at the voice from behind. The exaggerated bodily reflex when caught in something the conscience deems as morally wrong.

Their moments of ravishing exuberance transformed into frightened, guilt-driven faces of scandal.

Ha Na : Dad-

Without a space to explain, Ha Na experienced a trepidation as Mr.Jeon approached them with a pace of fury. He landed some sharp whips on Jeongguk's back with an evident disgust in his voice.

Mr.Jeon : You prick! That's your sister!

The old setting repeated itself. The mother standing helpless at a distance, while Jeongguk faced his father's wrath. And Ha Na — the cause of the whole action, immobile.

Jeongguk, once again, did not try to defend himself from the beating. But unlike the past, Ha Na this time reached out to stop the violent outburst of the father. Only to be shut off by a single dart of stare. It was so powerful and frightening, Ha Na was brought to regret her impulsive and reckless actions, almost instantly.

Years of patience, such painful efforts to prevent this very scene, only to ruin all that hardwork in a matter of seconds. The tantalizing moments of desire under a lewd inclination. One mindless risk—costed the family its façade of unity that night.

Mrs.Jeon stepped forward and curbed the violence from further escalating. She was still in a shock to match eyes with her children. The father however let his verbal fit cascade free.

Mr.Jeon : How utterly shameless you gotta be to pull this stunt, huh!?

The reality she was running from a while ago seaped into the senses of Ha Na. She dropped on her knees, rubbing her palms in a desperate plead.

Ha Na : I am sorry, Mom-

She felt robbed off the right to even use those simple parental names anymore.

Ha Na : I- I am extremely sorry. Please, I am to blame. I am sorry.

Ha Na chanted the apologies, tears drizzling down unconsciously. She was feeling such heavy pangs of remorse, she couldn't lift up her head. The parents too speechless to understand or have the heart to accept the repentance.

JK : Noona, get up.

Jeongguk's quiet and sober tone demanded action. But Ha Na's persistence against it, only invited the spurt of his indignant frustration.

JK : WHAT ARE YOU SORRY FOR?!

Mr.Jeon : You Do Not raise your voice before me, young man.

The mother caught the right instant to thwart Mr.Jeon on his attempted approach to hit Jeongguk again. The son revising his tone of respect, took a few breaths of silence.

Mr.Jeon : And who taught you to be this brazen? Is this what the city-life doing to you?! For heavens, you two are sibling-

JK : We are not! And you both know that.

There was a visible shift of expressions in the faces of the parents. It was as if they had insisted to treat Ha Na like their own daughter so profoundly, that they couldn't remember the truth themselves. It became the last thing that crossed their care and attention.

JK : Why? Am I wrong?

The mother finally broke her silence, pale and blue.

Mrs.Jeon : Jeongguk-ah, how, how did, when did you...?

JK : Since the age, you probably should've revealed it on your own. At the very least, she deserved to know the truth. An explanation from you. Don't you think?

A conversation, the couple thought they have avoided for life, came to confront them unexpectedly. They could not form out words. Deliberately stunned and stupefied.

JK : All these time, you made her live a lie. How suffocating that must've been-

Jeongguk's voice had a crack, trying to contain the choke of his spirits.
He walked past and knelt down before Ha Na, clutching her glued palms gently.

JK : Noona, are you okay?

Overpowered by her tears and once buried embers of resent, Ha Na physically began to quiver. Jeongguk immediately leaned her on the crook of his neck.

JK : It's okay.

He firmly grasped her trembling figure, as he actively caressed her back to calm her nerves.

JK : I am here. You are not alone.

Her dolorous wails fraught the couple with a sense of guilt and rue. The mouthful of curse, the rage now fused down to an immobile pity. Maybe there was a better way than to keep Ha Na in dark, they reflected. Maybe they harmed her more while seeking a better life for her, they realized. Maybe they were wrong all along. All such conditions, they had steered away before, flooded their minds head-on.

Meanwhile, as soon as Ha Na's hysteria seemed to dial down in intensity, Jeongguk guided her straight inside the apartment. He brought her to her bed and sat her down with a glass of water.

She rested the glass after a sip with low-spirits, and stared down at the concerned Jeongguk. He was kneeling before her on the wooden floor.

Ha Na : Does it hurt?

JK : Hm? What?

Jeongguk had a perpetual stare of concern, not looking away even for a moment. It was a pleasant sight. She sniffed, trying her best not to have another meltdown. Thus, as a response, she pointed to his back.

JK : Oh, Dad's hits? Under these many layers, it felt like a pat.

Jeongguk chuckled to bring light to the tension a little. Ha Na had a faint smile acknowledging his efforts.

JK : Noona...

They exchanged a blank stare before Jeongguk continued.

JK : Don't worry about them. I will try to explain to my mom and dad well.

With Jeongguk's clear distinctions around his parents, Ha Na peculiarly felt a relief. That he did not burden her with such relations, she appreciated that deeply. Yet, was too tired to speak. Jeongguk held her hand warmly, as he came clean.

JK : And... For yelling earlier, I am really sorry. I should've been better.

Ha Na looked at their hands, nodding an approval to his apology. She wanted to hold on to him, but she felt hesitant.

Jeongguk folded out of the kneel and softly pecked her forehead as a gesture of assurance.

JK : Rest up for tonight. It's been a long day.

Keeping on a poise, they parted with a simple smile that had an undertone of angst.
Outside, while Mrs. Jeon rested on the rooftop deck in a daze, the father placed his hand on her shoulders in solicitude.

Jeongguk let out a sigh watching them dejected and forlorn from the little distance. He calmly walked upto them.

Despite brimmed over by all sorts and peaks of emotions, Jeongguk strived an extra mile. To, water down the earlier spark of disrespect and also project compassion for the tired parents—who might have traveled a long distance to surprise their children.

JK : I apologize for raising my voice, Dad.

The couple barely able to match eyes, Mrs.Jeon's hesistant words were received.

Mrs.Jeon : How-w is she?

JK : She is resting. And I think you both should as well. Where are you staying? I will drop you at the hotel.

Jeongguk, taking their silence as an affirmation, walked past them. Collecting all their strayed luggage from near the stairway, he climbed down giving them a last call.

Assuming he had the favored end, the singer invested his prime attention to their forthcoming concert then on. Little did he know, the clash of events may have been designed such a way, to quietly rob him off his newfound peace.

It did not irk his heed until a few weeks had passed. Jeongguk could not grab a single opportunity to meet Ha Na in person. It was definitely bothersome.

Her subtle ways to avoid a confrontation, started to gain more transparency as he began to pick on signs. However to his innocence, he could never think that far and extreme.

.

.

Months pass by, a deliberate and rather expected news knocked at his door. It came with the answers he was seeking. 

In a matter of time, Jeongguk arrived at the only place to locate her. Ha Na's rooftop apartment. All along, she had succeeded to rebound his steps with creative excuses. This time, it was a complete detachment.

Jeongguk rang the bell simultaneously as he tried to reach Ha Na's cell. No response from either.

Almost retreating, the faint ringtone behind the closed confines alarmed his conscious to stay put. He began to bang on the door frantically.

JK : Noona! I know you are inside! Just open the door, I need to talk!

He persistently labored against her determined and undaunted silence.

And to yet another anticlimax, all his long and desperate attempts turned out futile. He received no signs of yielding from the other side.

Symbolic to the closing day, drowned his zeal to the horizon as well. His spirits now low and dejected, Jeongguk dropped his head forward in anguish and exasperation. He planted a few feeble knocks.

JK : Please... Noona...

The ache still breathing as vehement and strong. Despite his conscious efforts to prevent it, his eyes felt warm and heavy.

A moment of quiet later, Jeongguk wiped his face as he loosened up the vex. He collected the crumbs of his composure and fired his final shot of perseverance.

JK : . . .

______