Chapter Eight
It took four months for Sirius to leave his room. Four months for Sirius to transition from denial to anger.
One day he was fine, still saying that Jasmine couldn't be dead, despite the fact that he had been at her funeral.
He all of the sudden became so angry that he smashed every picture of her that he had. He tore up her room, breaking anything he could. When the anger had finally left him, he knelt down in a pile of broken glass and cried until he fell asleep on her bed. This stage continued for days. He would get angry at anything that even slightly reminded him of Jasmine. He would scream and cry and break things until the emotional onslaught would wear down his weary mind and he would fall asleep with tear tracks still staining his face.
The next stage of Sirius's grief was bargaining, he begged and pleaded with any diety who may be above. Every morning and every night began and ended with the same plea, "Please, God or whoever exists up there. Please. I'm begging you. Please bring Jasmine back, I need her. I'll do anything. I'll be nice to Snivillous. Hell, I'll even be nice to Malfoy. Just, please."
All who heard him could feel their hearts breaking for him. It is a terrible loss to lose one's soulmate, it is another thing altogether to lose one's child before they had the chance to be born.
After the bargaining came the worst stage, depression. Sirius didn't move from his bed, he sat in the dark crying himself to sleep and drinking the pain away. He didn't eat, said it took too much effort to move that much.
It was march when he started writing poetry. They were all depressing, all a way for him to release the feelings he couldn't say.
The quill scratched across the parchment as he wrote, "Over stressed
Pulled to the limit
Try to look sane
Die inside
Try to look peaceful
Scream at God when alone
"Where's my reward?" I scream
"When do I get a break?" I cry
I just wants to know why
No real reason for anger
A real reason for tears
i try to hold on
I try to pass the test.
No one knows when I might fall of the edge.
The cliff is close
The water below.
I can't leave
I want to go.
All I can think is
"Arirang"
I am sad because you have left me. So now I must leave too."
The thoughts inside his head would incapacitate him, trapping him in his own mind.
***
Months passed, he didn't get better. When he got the call that Harry was in trouble, that was the fastest he had moved in since Jasmine died. When they arrived lights were flashing in the barely lit room as spells flew towards the enemy and back.
Sirius quickly jumped into a battle with Bellatrix, his bitch of a cousin. They both fought harder knowing that it was family they were fighting, This fight went on for what felt like hours but was really seconds.
One minute Sirius was laughing maniacally as they fought, the next he was flying through the veil as his world turned black.
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