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Chapter 9 - Numbness

That night, Keith didn't train because he didn't feel angry. What he felt could only have been described as numbness and it enveloped his body like an awkward, uncomfortable hug. He laid on top of his covers, his gaze fixed on the roof as the cogs whirred in his head. He thought back to Shiro in the training room and how he had just snapped at him and Lance.

Keith wanted to put the entire Allura situation to the side as much as Shiro did but that was next to impossible, considering Lance believed Allura's accusation. Something wet gathered around his eyes and dripped down his cheek before settling at his chin. Keith brought a hand up to his face to wipe away the tears he hadn't even realised he had been crying.

He missed Lance. He missed the rivalry that was nothing but a joke. He missed Lance's stupid (but adorable) quips at the worst times. He missed being able to laugh with him.

"Fucking hell," Keith murmured, throwing his head back against the pillow and squeezing his eyes shut so the tears were blocked from falling. "I can't believe I'm letting myself get this upset over Lance of all people."

A soft knock on his door distracted him from the intense thoughts. "Who is it?" He questioned, his voice cracking on the word 'it'. He just hoped whoever it was didn't jump to the conclusion that he was amidst a breakdown.

He expected Shiro, apologising for snapping earlier. Maybe Hunk offering him a snack. Potentially Pidge, asking him for his opinion on some new technology they created. Maybe even Allura to dig at him and yell at him for things that weren't even his fault. Instead, it was Lance. He sounded like he was crying. "Keith, can you please open the door?"

"Just give me a second." Keith scrambled up onto his feet, desperately rubbing his eyes with his fists. He didn't need Lance making fun of him for having a breakdown or asking him what was wrong. Keith unlocked the door and watched as it swung open. Lance immediately collapsed into his arms, sobbing loudly into his neck. "Uh... Lance?" He questioned, awkwardly rubbing circles into Lance's back.

"I'm sorry. I- I didn't know who else to go to. I thought you'd understand. I'm sorry. Maybe I should go. This was a-"

"You're rambling. Come on, sit on the bed and we can talk." Lance hung his head but nodded, his fringe falling flat against his face. They both sat side by side on the bed but Keith ensured he kept at least ten centimetres between them. "What happened?"

Lance sniffed, hunching his shoulders over so that he didn't have to look at Keith. "I don't believe Allura anymore." The words came out in a choked sob as he pulled Keith closer and buried his head into his chest.

"What did she do?"

"N-Nothing! I just- You wouldn't do something like that. I know you wouldn't."

"What changed your mind?"

"I just thought about it logically." Lance's leg was bouncing up and down energetically and his gaze was darting around the room. Those were both signs of nerves. If Keith wasn't so afraid of crossing boundaries, he'd have wrapped an arm around the tearful blue paladin.

"Are you sure? Is that why you're in such a state?" Lance didn't respond as he let out another loud cry, full of desperation.

"I'm so sorry, Keith. I- I should've listened to you. I didn't mean to be such a jerk to you." Lance balled his hands into fists and used them to wipe at his wet eyes. As he did so, the sleeve of his jacket fell down enough to reveal a flash of something blue. Tentatively, Keith reached forward so that he could pull the sleeve down further. Lance flinched, jumping up before Keith could see what his jacket was concealing. "I'm tired. I should... I should go to bed." Just as quickly as Lance came to Keith, he left, running out of the room and not once looking back.

Keith couldn't quite make sense of the situation. Lance had come to him whilst he was having a breakdown but left before Keith could even help him. The blue on his wrist played on his head, the picture standing out like one black sheep amongst a field of white. He had only seen it for around a second so he didn't have enough time to figure out exactly what it was. A bracelet? A watch? Keith had never seen Lance wear a blue bracelet before. He had a pink one that Keith recalled his niece having made for him but he couldn't remember a blue one. What else could it have been?

-

The next morning, during training, Lance and Keith didn't argue. They didn't speak at all, in fact. Lance was devoid of all harsh comments so all Keith got was the occasional glare from Allura when she knew he was looking. When Lance and Keith had to spar, Keith didn't go too far. He went just far enough to pin Lance down on the floor but then he backed up before he overstepped his boundaries. Lance showed his appreciation by flashing Keith a quick smile.

Afterwards, Shiro pat both Lance and Keith on the back and congratulated them for their improvements. "See, you work much better with clear heads!" He had said, making the two exchange a knowing smile. Whilst it wasn't perfect, Keith felt like things were a little better.

Keith was just heading to his room to fetch a spare change of clothes after the session when he was stopped by his name being called. He swerved around to see Allura, grinning as innocently as ever. Keith rolled his eyes before opening his door and ignoring her. He grabbed his change of clothes but, before he could leave again, Allura blocked his exit. "I couldn't help but notice you and Lance don't hate each other anymore. Is there a reason for that?" She asked, raising her eyebrows high up her forehead.

"Oh, I don't know... Maybe your boyfriend is actually a decent person? Have you considered that?" Keith snapped back. His hands would have become fists if he wasn't holding his jeans and t-shirt in his arms.

"Yeah, right. We both know he's too stupid to figure out the truth. He'd follow me to the end of the universe if I told him too. His naivety is adorable."

"Lance isn't stupid." Keith defended through gritted teeth. "He's much smarter than he credits himself to be."

"Yeah, right. Did he speak to you last night?"

"Why do you care?"

"Because he stormed out on me and I don't know where he went."

"You keep tabs on him now? You do realise he's his own person." Allura's jaw tensed as she shook her head, her long hair swaying with it.

"He came here, didn't he? I should've known." Keith opened his mouth to snap something back about Lance's free will but Allura didn't give him the chance. She just let out a loud, overdramatic huff and stormed back out into the hall. Keith's eyebrows raised as he contemplated the princess's sanity before he headed to the showers.

-

When Keith headed back to his room after his shower, the last thing he imagined to find inside was Lance, curled up into the foetal position on his bed. He stood in the doorway with his laundry in his hands, eyes thin as he contemplated how to face the situation. Lance was sobbing loudly and was yet to notice Keith's presence.

He cleared his throat. "Uh, Lance... You alright?" He stupidly asked. Lance craned his head up, revealing his puffy, red eyes. "I'll take that as a no. I'm really shit at comforting people so do you want me to get Shiro? He always helps me when I..." Keith trailed off as Lance grabbed his shirt and pulled him down onto the bed with him. "What happened?"

"I can't talk about it." Lance murmured, letting out a shaky breath as he buried his head into Keith's neck. (Keith was grateful Lance had a breakdown after his shower as opposed to before otherwise the blue paladin might have passed out from his sweaty fumes.)

"Okay... do you want... a hug?"

"Yes, Keith. Please." Keith wrapped his arms around Lance, pulling him forward so he was basically sat on Keith's lap. They stayed in that position for a few minutes until Lance's sobs had become weak hiccups.

"I think you should tell me about it. That way I can help."

Lance buried his head into Keith's hair, inhaling the soft yet musky scent. His body was still trembling against Keith's but much less so. "You've already helped by cuddling me. I appreciate it a lot, you know?"

"You do?"

"Yeah... I hope you understand that I can't tell you what's going on."

"Uh... no. I don't understand. Bottling things up never helped anyone." Lance went silent as he began to fiddle with the bottom of Keith's shirt. Refusing to admit how much his chest was tingling at the touch, Keith acknowledged the fact that he didn't mean anything by it instead and just liked to do something with his hands whenever he was nervous.

"It'll get worse if I tell you. You might... you might get hurt." Desperation scattered amongst his blue irises, Lance glanced up at Keith.

"It doesn't matter if I get hurt. I want you to be happy and I know you haven't been for awhile."

"It's Allura," He choked out, a fresh batch of tears forming in his eyes. Keith's mouth fell open as Lance pulled himself away from him. "I don't want to be with her anymore."

"Then... break up with her?" Keith answered, as if it was the easiest thing to do in the world. Lance shook his head at a rapid pace, backing up from the bed to introduce more space between them.

"You- You don't understand..."

"Then let me understand, please. I just want to help you." Lance brought his fist up to his eye again to rub away the dreaded tears. As he did so, his sleeve slid down to reveal the same blue Keith had seen before. It wasn't a bracelet; nor was it a watch. "Lance..."

"I'm sorry for coming to you again..." Lance murmured before fleeing the room. Keith stared at the spot where Lance had once been standing and his jaw tensed up. The blue was lingering in his head all over again, as bright and as prominent as ever. Who would do something like that to Lance?

Then Keith realised.

Allura.

Ooooh things are getting interesting ;) I hope you're enjoying the story so far!

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