Old Patreon Author note: God, this story is always my hardest to write, i always feel drained by the end of it, but when I get it going, I can't stop

New Author note: For those who weren't my readers last year, I'm puertorican. That's a small island in the Caribbean. I'm latinoamerican and giving my place of birth, we celebrate something after New years, and we celebrate "Dia de los reyes" the day of the 3 wise man that came see baby Jesus. So, since it's a holiday, each one of my stories is getting an extra chapter today.

Last time

Alma: All right then. Let's start

Now

Alma: I said, "Let's start," not be stubborn

*Alma said, pinching the bridge of his nose. She was leaning against an old tree as she watched her daughter and grandson talk. Well, talk isn't the correct word. They were just looking at each other. Both with their arm crossed. They both huffed at the same time and stayed quiet, making Alma groan softly*

Alma: Pepa. Hurry up and talk first

Pepa: Why should I?! He's the one who insulted me!

*Pepa said, pointing at the little boy. Antonio scowled and blew Pepa a raspberry, making Pepa gasped outraged. Alma groaned more loudly as she pinched the bridge of her nose even more tightly*

Alma: Because you're the mother. You're the adult. Now stop being a spoiled brat and talk. My feet are hurting, from standing up too much. Now talk.

Pepa: Fine. Antonio. You owe an apology

*Pepa said in a stern tone. Antonio scowled even deeper, and alma slapped her forehead. She sighed deeply and gave an annoyed look at Pepa for acting like a child. When there should be only 1 child with them right now, and it ain't pepa*

Alma: Pepa.

Pepa: Fine, fine.... look. Antonio. Can you please tell me why you insulted me like that?

*Pepa said with a sigh at the end of her sentence, finally starting to act her age of a 50 year old woman. Antonio also finally spoke, though not like Alma would've liked, since Antonio also acted his age. That being a 5 year old throwing a tantrum*

Antonio: Because it's true.

Pepa: No, it's not! I'm your mother, not mirabel

*Pepa said loudly, feeling frustrated that Antonio would say that again. It pained her more than she would like to say, that his son his cousin as more of a mother than herself. But Antonio wasn't done hurting his mother emotionally*

Antonio: mirabel has acted like my mother more than you have ever done!

Pepa: Excuse me?!

*Pepa exclaimed outraged, Alma sighed since Pepa managed to be an adult for like 30 seconds. A record for her, really. Antonio, for his part, stomped his foot on the ground, his face turning red with how angry Pepa and everyone else had made him.*

Antonio: she's the one who took care of me. She's the one who fed me! She's the one who was with me when I had nightmares. She's the one who helped me with my homework!

Pepa: I've done stuff for you, too!

*Pepa said loudly, feeling rather insulted but more importantly hurt. She was hurt that her contributions were being ignored, but Antonio didn't let Pepa feel that for long, as he kept with his tantrum. Since that what it was, since he's still a little kid*

Antonio: No, you haven't! You always said the same thing over and over again! Not now Antonio, I'm busy! Not now Antonio, I gotta make it rain! Not now! Not now! Not ever!! You've never been there for me!

Pepa: Antonio...

*Pepa said sternly, she was having just about enough of Antonio's frankly disrespectful behavior. She's HIS mother and deserves much more respect than what she's getting. Antonio, on the other hand, started to get so angry that he had tears threatening to come out. His fist all bawled up as he screamed about the injustice he was feeling*

Antonio: No! You don't get to suddenly realize that you weren't a good person. You were a bad person, a really bad person! You cared more about your chores than you've cared about me!

Pepa: That's not true! I love you, Antonio! Why don't you get that?!

*Pepa said loudly, feeling extremely hurt more and more with every word. Since if your child told you he hated you, you would be hurt too, it would hurt a lot. But Antonio wasn't finished hurting his mother, as he screamed even louder, his tears finally escaping his eyes, with a bit of snow coming down his nose*

Antonio: Just because you say something doesn't make it true!! You haven't done a single thing to show me that you loved me!

Pepa: Of course I love you, Antonio! You're my child!

*Pepa said frustrated, if she was inside the bubble, there would be a storm unlike any other, even with the tense situation, a small part of Pepa was feeling refreshed, that she could speak her mind without worrying about the weather. Antonio gave a wet snort of indignation as he finally crossed a line*

Antonio: Then you don't love any of your children! You forced Dolores to marry my real mom. You don't punish Camilo for bullying mirabel, and you haven't spent a single thing with me alone!! You don't love us!

Alma: Antonio!

*alma said, shocked at the accusation. She feel more guilt since all of this was her own fault, for concentrating on the chores more than the people. But mostly! Mostly, she was shocked that Antonio would say such a thing. But Pepa raised her hand at her mother to tell her not to come close*

Pepa: I got this mom. Please don't interfere.

Alma: I....ok.

*alma said with a sigh, as she went back on leaning on the tree, just letting the guilt wash over her, Over seeing how much she destroyed her family, all because she was scared the candle would die out, it they didn't help the community. Pepa looked down at her still red-faced boy*

Pepa: You think I don't love you or your siblings?

Antonio: I know that you don't love us!

*Antonio screamed, feeling frustrated that no one was taking his feelings into consideration.  Completely ignoring that if anyone was doing that, it was Antonio ignoring Pepa's feelings.  Pepa took a breath and kneeled down to her son's eye level. She was about to hit her son with the biggest slap of reality *

Pepa: So, if I don't love Dolores, I wouldn't have bought her a pair of earmuffs to make sure she wouldn't hurt her ears when she first got her powers.

*Pepa said coldly, her face losing a bit of its color. Remembering that night. Remembering how her baby girl screamed in absolute torture, from when she first got her gift, how the fireworks that used to be much bigger, louder, more explosive, completely destroyed her daughter's eardrums If it wasn't for julieta, her daughter would've been deaf, and even then. It took weeks to completely heal up*

Pepa: If I didn't love her, I wouldn't have been there for her every single day while she got better after the people shot fireworks on her ceremony, my chores be damned

*Pepa said, while in the background, Alma looked down in utter shame, remembering the screaming matches she had with Pepa for her to "get back to work." That's when the first big crack came, since in the end after weeks of screaming matches, Pepa couldn't take it anymore and just went to do the chores, In the final week of her daughter's recovery*

Alma" I'll have so much to answer for when my ticket comes, to take me do those pearly gates."

Pepa: If I didn't love her, I wouldn't have shot people with lightning every time they called her a rat. I don't love her enough that every day I tell her good morning and ask about her day, even when I know she'll ignore me. I don't love her enough that I saved up for half a year to get her the family piano. Since it was originally for her to learn and use, but that's not love. Making your father teach her how to play it, spending time with her, that's not love. You're absolutely right, Antonio. I don't love Dolores.

*Pepa said, her tone cold as she looked unblinking at her youngest one. Antonio stopped his little tantrum and tried to look in another direction, but Pepa grabbed his cheeks and made him look at her. Just because he was young doesn't mean he gets an out. He wanted to tell his truth, rand that's fine. But now it's Pepa's time to tell her's.*

Pepa: You say I don't love Camilo? That I don't discipline him? You're right. I don't. I don't discipline enough that when I heard what he did, your tia beat the bricks off of me. I don't discipline enough, that I took away everything that he finds fun, from his room. I don't discipline enough that I forced him to stop spending time with those friends of his.

*Pepa said with her calm expression turning into a scowl. She doesn't care what julieta and the rest think. But she does discipline her kids. She just does it differently than the rest. Since Pepa doesn't believe in physical punishment, to correct someone's behavior.*

Pepa: I don't love him enough, that made him go talk to Father alves every weekend, to help with his pent-up anger. I don't love him enough that I make him work at the church every day after school, so he would straighten up . But you are right. I don't love him enough. I discipline my children. But I would never put my hands on them. But you're right, I should've just hit him every time he did something wrong. That would've disciplined him

*Pepa said with a sigh, as her hand on Antonio's cheek became more gentle, since now it was time to talk about him. Her miracle child, the baby she tried so hard to have, and got. Pepa caressed Antonio's cheek as she spoke*

Pepa: Now you. You think I don't love you? You think that I didn't spend all the time I possibly could when you were a baby. You think I don't love you? You think I didn't take you and mirabel with me to water the crops. You think I don't love you? You think that I wasn't the one who actually did most of the changing, feeding, and washing. You think I don't love you? Do you think that mirabel actually did all the work? Do you think I would actually give a girl that young the responsibility of raising a child?

*Pepa asked, since yes. Mirabel babysat a lot. But she didn't do everything. She just thinks she did, since she was a little girl when all this happened, she obviously doesn't remember hardly anything from that time, only the big moments from her perspective as a little girl. And honestly, nobody remembers anything correctly at that age*

Pepa: Mirabel helped. She helped a lot. But she didn't do everything. I was there in the early years. And I'm sorry that I haven't been able to spend as much time with you as I would like. But my job is important, baby, without me the crops won't grow, encanto somehow keeps growing bigger and bigger, each month it feels like their more people to feed, which means more crops to grow, which means more time I have to spend on the fields. So I'll ask you again Antonio. Do you think I don't love you?

*Pepa said with an emotionally exhausted sigh. Since that really was the root of the problem. More and more people were coming into the encanto. She doesn't know how, but she can't take a break because of it. Those people need food. Pepa is gonna do her best to help with keeping everyone fed. Pepa sighed and got up, pointing at the other side of the river, so Antonio would start walking*

Pepa: You're too young to understand my work, Antonio. But I do love you. I love you more than I can put into words. Even if I can't be around to show it. Now let's all go home. Cause honestly, I'm emotionally drained right now. And I just want to go to bed and sleep.

Antonio:......ok.

*Antonio simply said,' Since what more could a 5 year old say after being hit with all of that? He could only fidget a little and walked back to the encanto, with his tail between his legs. Pepa took a breath and took a step on the bridge that they built. Who knows how many years since her father's death and then looked at her mother*

Pepa: Do you need a minute?

Alma: No, no, I'm coming, just....let me say goodbye.

*alma said with a breath, wanting to comfort Her daughter, but she was in a similar state as Antonio, since what can you say after all of that?. So they just walked back to the encanto. But Alma did take a final glance at the river. She never got to say goodbye to Pedro that night. This was as close as she was gonna get*

Alma: Goodbye, Pedro. I love you, my dumb fool. My dumb brave fool. Forever and ever.

Pedro: I love you too

* Alma's eyes widen since she swears she hears her late husband's voice being carried by the wind. But when she looked back at the river, there was, of course, nobody there. Pepa looked at her mother, curious as to why she stopped walking*

Pepa: What's wrong, Mami?

Alma: No... nothing. nothing. Just my ears hearing what they want to hear.

To be continued, or read ahead 3 months and 1 week 13 chapters on Patreon

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