Mommy, I miss you. I hope you're doing well over there and that you're smiling a lot. I'm sorry I couldn't be there with you. I hope you're proud of me so far. I haven't achieved anything yet, but I hope you can see how much I'm trying to be the person you taught me to be.

You told me to smile a lot and help anyone in need. You said to not mind what anyone said about us...that only we know our own intentions and our contentment. But it's so hard...it's harder now cus you're not with me. Sometimes I get tired and I don't know what to do but to force myself up and keep smiling. I miss you so much, it hurts. It's so lonely here.

Lisa wipes the tears away for the umpteenth time. The disappointment she felt is overwhelming, and she couldn't help the tears from overflowing. She's not even sure what she's more disappointed at really – the fact that Jungkook turned out to be exactly like the other students who looks at her with disgust, or that she could've handled it better. Or course she had that idea crossing her mind before, that he had probably heard of the rumours. But to actually hear that question from him...

It wasn't until she closed the door of her apartment that she allowed the tears to fall. Is it better to explain her situation to him? Would he even understand? Or would he look at her with the pity that she didn't need – just like Chaeyoung, Mino and Mrs Kim? Did she make the right decision by walking away like she always did, saving her pride and dignity that only she herself know? He doesn't deserve the truth – he doesn't even know you.

Oh, Lily, how could you be so stupid? Of course he's like the others! You didn't see it because you were blinded. You like him so much and you painted this perfect picture of him – this is no one's fault but yours! Why can't you see that? You've been saying it to Chae about Chanyeol all the time – how can you not think the same for yourself?

She shouldn't have walked with him. She shouldn't have let him in. She shouldn't even like him in the first place! This is not your place – you don't belong here. This is just a temporary pit-stop. You have a few months to go before it all ends, and you can move to find your home. It will be okay then.

...

"Hi Jungkook," Chaeyoung took the seat beside him. Why is she sitting here at the back row with him? Maybe Lisa told Chaeyoung what a jerk he was and Chaeyoung's here to beat him up?

"Oh...hey,"

"Are you okay? You don't look so good," Chaeyoung frowned while placing her notebook on the desk. She doesn't seem like she knew about it. If anything, she looks exactly like the usually-friendly-Chaeyoung.

"Yeah, just lacking sleep,"

"Aah..late night?"

He shrugs. He's really not up for small talks – but because it's Lisa's best friend, he just have to give in a bit. All the 'overthinking' he's done over the weekend are draining, sucking the energy out of him.

"You shouldn't sleep so late, especially on a Sunday night. I have specific routines, I can share it with you –"

"That's okay," He sighed – because looking away or changing seats might seem a bit too rude. Good thing Chaeyoung didn't notice his eye-rolling. She just giggles. The girl's always giggling, like she has no problem at all!

"I'm serious, you should really take care of yourself. Everyone's getting sick nowadays. I think there's a viral fever going around. My sister, Alice is sick...and I think my mom got it from her cus this morning she was sneezing. I just saw two girls from our class queueing by the infirmary just now. Lisa's sick as well –"

Jungkook sat up at the mention of the name. "Lisa?" She's sick? How sick?

"Mm-hmm," Chaeyoung nods. "We're supposed to meet up for brunch yesterday but she didn't show up. Oh my God, do you know who I bumped into?!" She grabbed on his arm, making him flinch. "Oops, sorry," She giggles. "You don't have a lot of girl friends, do you? Cus if you have, you won't be so jumpy when someone touches you,"

Jungkook blinked at how random the topic jumps from one to another. Well, I know one person who I don't mind touching me –

"Anyways, I bumped into your friend, Jimin," She rolled her eyes. "I don't know how you're friends with him, you guys are so different! You're so quiet and nice and all...and he's...well he's so..."

Yeah, yeah - "Um, so is she o –"

"He's so full of himself, you know? Like...he just took the seat in front of me and started talking as if we know each other! I asked him nicely at first to leave me alone but he kept trying to flirt with me or something. On top of that, he kept calling me 'Rosie' which is sooo annoying! Like, does that work for him? Do girls actually fall for his charms?"

Jungkook finds it amusing how frustrated yet persistent Chaeyoung is when talking about Jimin – even as she's portraying a full-on, disgusted expression on her face. Come to think of it, Chaeyoung is kind of similar to Jimin. They're both very talkative, both are friendly, extroverted people who seemed to not have any problem blending in their surroundings. You can put them anywhere – in any circle or clubs – and they'll adapt really quick. Both are very 'touchy' too.

Jungkook had to move Chaeyoung's hand from his arm again. She seems oblivious to it, shows how normal this is for her. Same like Jimin. They actually look like they'd be perfect for each other.

"Well, he has his moments...but he's really a nice guy –"

"He looks like a player. Probably broke girls' hearts all the time,"

"He's friendly. But some might take it wrongly, of course. He hasn't been in a relationship for a while now –"

"Probably cus no girls could stand him talking a lot," Jungkook suppressed the urge to laugh at the girl's contradicting remarks. It's obvious that Chaeyoung's already fallen Jimin's 'charms'. "Got me quite upset that Lisa didn't show up,"

"Yeah, you were saying she's sick? Is she okay now?"

"I hope so. I sent a soup to her doorstep yesterday. I didn't go in, she was scared she'll pass the fever to me. She skipped class today. I'm quite worried actually but I know she'll be more worried if I catch anything. Hey, what time did you leave the bar last week? I can't remember saying 'bye' to you, or your friends –" She rolled her eyes – probably for Jimin. See how random she is?

"Um...just a while after you left,"

Should he tell her? If I don't bring it up, there's probably zero chance that she'll mention Lisa again.

"I actually walked home with Lisa,"

"You did?" She leans back and raised an eyebrow, making him slightly nervous. "Jungkook," She turns to face him. "Do you...like Lisa?"

Okay, really nervous! Admitting his feelings to his friends is one thing, admitting it to Lisa's best friend is another level of possible lifetime humiliation.

"Cus I noticed, you know. You'd pay like...full attention whenever I say her name," Jungkook scratches the back of his neck out of habit, looking down to his desk embarrassingly. "You can tell me, I just wanna get something straight,"

He laughed nervously before nodding his head – because admitting it in words is too hard for a simple human being such as himself!

"Oh my God!!!" Chaeyoung's shriek caused a few heads turning. Thank God the lecturer's not in yet! Chaeyoung ducked her head down when Jungkook shushed her. "I'm sorry – I'm just so happy!"

He could tell so by how she had to force her whisper. When she pulled herself together, her cheeks turned pink in contrast of her blonde hair.

"Lisa's always alone since I met her – I kept telling her to get a boyfriend but she kept looking at me like it's the most ridiculous thing ever! I think she's just used to being alone after her mom passed away – oh!" She gasped and covers her mouth. "Did she tell you bout that?"

Oh...her mom passed away? Jungkook nods while keeping a straight face. He had to! A lie can't be counted as a lie if you're desperate, right?

"She did? Oh thank God – finally I have someone else who knows about it for me to vent out my frustrations with this girl! I told her to stop working so hard – get some time for herself and get more friends and a boyfriend – but she never listens to me! Like, we're so young and she's been working almost her entire life! She worked hard in Thailand, and now she's working hard here too. Granted, she worked back home to help her mom and supporting her studies, but now – I mean, I don't mean it in a bad way, but everything's paid off for already and she shouldn't have to worry about it. But she's so stubborn and now she's sick! And for what –"

It's clear how Chaeyoung cared for her friend. She was muttering about, giving very little time for Jungkook to process everything.

"To pay back the man who killed your mother in the first place –"

Hold on – what? "What did you say?"

Chaeyoung froze. "Um...she didn't tell you bout that part?" Her voice is suddenly small. "Then just forget what I said,"

"No, Chaeyoung –"

"Ahh shh!" She puts up a finger to her lips and pointed to the front. The lecturer's in. Damn it!!

...

Jungkook tossed and turned, still couldn't believe what a prick he had been by asking that stupid question. Why can't he control his own damn mouth?! The hurt he saw in her eyes – although she tried to hide it pretty well – still lingers in his mind. He felt like shit. Not just at his insensitive question, but also at what happened to the girl. After pestering about it long enough for the past couple of days, Chaeyoung finally told him about Lisa.

About how the man – a Korean tycoon – went to Thailand for a business trip and on the road had hit Lisa's mom, causing her death. Then he offered to support Lisa as a way of redemption for his mistake, so he brought her here to further her studies and paid for the fees, house and all of her necessary needs – under her own name, although she didn't appear to treat it like she deserved all of those things. She's even paying rent to the man! Chaeyoung also said the man gave her allowances every week – as if she's his own child!

'But Lisa never uses it. It's there, in her account. She kept it to give it back to him – I don't know when and why cus if it were to be me, I'd feel like I deserve that money! I lost the only family I have – of course I'm entitled to be taken care of by the person who took it away from me!'

Chaeyoung's frustration was evident and Jungkook understood where she's coming from. He couldn't imagine what Lisa had gone through. More questions ran through his mind. Where are the rest of her family – where's her dad? Is she an only child? What about relatives, are there no one else to support and care for her? Who is that man? How could she let him go without getting justice for what he did? And why did she have to pay rent to him, when he had already put the apartment under her name?

How much is she paying anyways? Maybe he could call up his dad and ask if he knows. His dad has properties all around Seoul, surely he would know the market rate for this area. Why don't you ask for the money to pay for her too while you're at it? No, she wouldn't want that. How does she even cope with it? She's studying AND working every day – that too, he found out from Chaeyoung.

She cleans the store rooms at the National Library every Monday and some Fridays. Jungkook can't imagine the same beautiful girl who mesmerized everyone on the stage is also working as a cleaner. On top of babysitting Emily, she would help one of her neighbours to prep waffle batters to sell at a kindergarten near her house. Chaeyoung said that she didn't get paid a lot for that, but she did it anyways because the neighbour is old and living alone. Every Sunday she would give dance lessons to kids at a studio near the bar. She only has one free day to herself. Who – at his age – would even do that at their own will? And still have the energy to smile all the freaking time?! She's even smiling while telling him off that night!

The image of her pained face came into mind again and Jungkook found himself kicking the air on his bed. You're such a jerk! And so stupid! Why didn't you say anything before she left you?! Why didn't you apologise and explain? And what's that other thing she said – that she liked him for a long time? Since when? Is it 'like' him as a person? Or as a guy?

'I can now have a peace of mind about you'.

Does that mean she doesn't like him anymore now? Why does it matter? He still has no idea where he'd seen her before, and now – looking at what happened between them – he probably lost all chances to find out. Ugh, why do I have to remember what Yeri said –

Wait, Yeri! Jungkook sits up straight on his bed. Think, Kook – when did Yeri said that? He tries to recall the ambiance of their conversation. It was at the hallways...of her department. They're walking to the cafeteria to have lunch together like they always did. She said something about 'the girl everyone's been talking about'. He remembers her saying 'everyone knew about it' and 'that she has an old pimp paying for her to be here'. He also remembers Yeri throwing off a disgusted look as she said 'what a cheap girl, she must be really poor in Thailand to please just about anyone, just to live comfortably'.

The more he recalled, the more irritated he felt at Yeri's words. Has she always been that oblivious and mean? Of course, he'd heard of her gossiping about other people from time to time but he never thought much about it. It's just what girls do, isn't it? He never once questioned the truth behind it, or whether it's a bad thing to talk behind people's back like that. But now, he wondered how many more nasty things were said to Lisa and how she tolerates it.

He couldn't even be patient at the storeowner for implying he's a thief that one time! Imagine having to hear hateful rumours every day – he couldn't have kept it in and still face the same people every damn time! How could she even live by herself – all these while, taking in the kinds of shit people say about her? How?! Jungkook groaned, annoyed at his own oblivion. Okay, we'll stress more about that later.

Let's see...how did it start? They're at the cafeteria...no that's not it. Before that they walked pass the hallway...and before that he waited for Yeri at the entrance of the building...oh! They bumped into someone. Oh...now he remembers! The girl with the pretty eyes! Wasn't her hair brown then? She was wearing a large hoodie, covering her hair but her bangs remained the same length as how it is now. She was picking up her folders on the floor and he helped her. He remembers those clear eyes now...he remembers being mesmerised by the way they stared at him as he passed the folders back to her.

That's when Yeri called for him and told him about the girl. Fuck, you should really eat more raisins, Kook! Granted, it happened probably a year-or-so ago, but how could he forgot? You were sooo into Yeri all these while, remember? Jungkook sighed. Well, now that you gained your memories back, you should feel satisfied. That's all you wanted, right? Yes...yes it is.

He closed his eyes as he lay back down, ready to sleep. After a minute, he opens it back again. No, I'm not. I'm not okay. Lisa probably hates me now. The thought doesn't sit well in his chest. I need to make it right. Make what right though? Why do you care what she thinks of you? It's not like you're friends with her. You don't even see her on normal basis! And even if you do bump into her, you could just look away and pretend like you don't know her...can you?

...

2 minutes – just 2 minutes left before the class ends. He waited patiently, although he had been shaking his legs since the class started. He needed to ask her if Lisa's okay. If she could somehow help him out and get Lisa to meet with him. He wanted to apologise. He wanted to maybe buy Lisa lunch, maybe even ask her out. He wanted to teach her video editing. Then bring her to a nice place for dinner. If he's lucky, maybe he gets to end the night with a kiss on her soft cheeks. God, he wanted to do a lot of things with Lisa but he couldn't ask because Chaeyoung decided to sit at the front row of the class today!

The students bustled out of the lecture hall as soon as the class ended and he packed his things at full speed to chase over Chaeyoung.

"Oh hey Jungkook," She gives her usual bright smile when he tapped her shoulder.

"Hi! Um...sorry I just wanna ask you if Lisa –"

"She's still sick. I spoke to her on the phone this morning, she said she's not coming to her classes again today,"

"Oh..." Is it really that bad? "Is it the viral fever you mentioned? Has she gone to the doctor?"

"I'm not sure," She greets a few other students as they pass by. "I asked her if she has meds and she said yes, so I guess she did?" Jungkook nodded slowly. "Do you have a class or are you going back?"

"You wanna have lunch together?"

...