I'm driving Hagen Carter's car.

Never in a million years did I think I would end up here behind his steering wheel or even in his life for that matter. We are almost halfway to campus. The boys have been silent ever since we got into the car.

"Uhh...Aurora" Hagen calls interrupting our silent session.

"Yea?" I reply making a left turn.

"Where are you going?" He asks.

I give him a puzzled look through the review mirror before placing my eyes back on the road.  "I'm heading to campus. Where else?"

"But I don't live on campus, I still live with my parents."

The world seems to be moving in slow motion because I can't really tell how fast I'm going anymore. My hands go shaky at the thought of me going back to that place. I grip the wheel tight, my knuckles going white as I try to regain control.

"You just now decided to tell her! Aren't you supposed to be wasted? How did you know we weren't going to your house anyway?" Logan shouts from the back accusingly.

"I never said I was wasted, I said I can't drive while intoxicated! And don't blame me, you know I don't live on campus. Why didn't you tell her!" Hagen retorts, shouting as well.

"I'm not paying attention to the damn road,"  Logan says defending himself.

My mind is starting to wander into dark places ignoring the voices behind me. Driving seems like an impossible task at the moment. The road before me seems nonexistent and it's becoming harder and harder to focus. I suddenly jerk the wheel to the right catching us all of guard. I hear the boys slide and crash into each other due to the sudden force.

"What the hell was that Aurora!" Logan yells gripping my seat from behind as I put the car in park.

I ignore him and begin taking off my seatbelt. Hagen is the first to take notice of my robotic behavior.

"You alright Aurora?" He asks.

Logan's voice disappears, he's no longer yelling. He just watches me intently.

"I'm fine." I lie my voice coming out soft. "Logan I think it's best if you drive, I won't know the way even if you give me the directions,"  I tell him, lying again. I knew the way like the back of my hand. I just wish I hadn't.

Lie after lie after lie. Why couldn't I stop? I knew this was wrong and I knew it would only make things worse when the truth decided to make its presence. But I couldn't bring myself to say it. I couldn't say I was Aurora Johnson because I was afraid. I was afraid of Hagen's reaction and I was terrified of being Aurora Johnson again. I didn't want to go back into hiding, I didn't want the fear of Hagen to consume me. I was tired of being the blame without knowing why. The truth seemed like the best answer but my fear was so much more empowering and for that reason, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

I don't wait for him to reply as I quickly jump into the passenger seat, putting on my seatbelt with shaky hands.

In a split second Logan is in the front adjusting the chair so his long legs can move freely. As soon as the car starts moving again my heart seems to stop beating.

"Are you sure your alright?" Hagen asks placing his large hand on my arm causing a tidal wave of guilt to wash over me.

I look at his face that is full of worry for me. Your such a bad person aurora, you're hurting him blindly. You don't deserve him.

"I'm beginning to think your not really drunk carter." Logan's eyes drop to Hagen's hand that has now been removed from my arm.

"I was drunk not wasted, so I sobered up. There is a difference."  Hagen explains but I can't seem to listen.

Logan ignores Hagen's comment and looks at me for a brief moment. I know he's probably wondering why my mood changed so drastically, he wasn't stupid. It was just like that day on campus when I erupted into tears while thinking about my mother. He's most likely connecting the dots. Considering the confusion on his face, I think the dots he had weren't enough to give him a clear picture.

We park in front of Hagens house in silence. I can't help but look up at the place that filled my childhood memory. It was exactly how I left it. All the lights in the house were off except for one, which I knew was living room light. The carters always left the living room light on because penny would always sneak over to my house and was too afraid to go back home if all the lights were off. I guess they never stopped doing that. A part of believes it because they think one day penny just might come home.

I try not to let my emotions shine through. I do my best to keep my face blank even though there is a storm going on within me.

"Thanks for bringing me home," Hagen says thanking me even though Logan was the one who drove us here. "Logan come pick me up tomorrow so we can go pick up your car before we head to campus."

"Hold up," Logan demands, causing Hagen to stop. "As compensation, lend me a shirt. Mine is sticky from the drink she spilled on me." By she, he meant me, and I was completely aware. I just didn't have it in me to care, so instead, I stayed silent as they both left the car leaving me inside of it.

I sit there alone hoping Logan makes it quick. This place seemed to be suffocating with Hagen's house on one side and mine on the other. Looking to my side I see my home, my parents' bedroom window visible in the moons dim light.

I find myself opening the car door and walking towards my old home. It was as if I wasn't even in control of my body. My emotions had full power over me as they led me to the front door of my house. At least I made it farther than I had last time.

The house from afar looked exactly the way it did when I left it. To anyone, the house looked absolute. Like a happy family was living a normal life inside of it. But to me, up close the house, my home, has aged. It looked sad and lacked the care it needed. There were no laughs playing inside this house for it to give off joyous energy. So instead it stood here weeping.

Beneath my feet laid our  "welcome home" doormat. Memories start to flood my mind and play before my eyes like a movie. When I look up I see my mother opening the door for me with a smile on her face, her blue eyes bright and alive. My father suddenly joins her wrapping his arms protectively around her waist. It was warming to see what could've been my life acting out before me. What my parents could've been.

I smile at them as I take a step forward to touch them, to finally be able to feel them after all these years. But as soon as I do it's like this perfect picture falls, shattering into a thousand pieces.

I begin to cry as my hallucination spawns into a nightmare. My mother's eyes begin to grow dull, the blue they once carried now washed out. The bags under her eyes prominent with hues of purple and her hair void of its golden color. She was no longer my mother, but the woman I lost to alcohol.

My eyes turn to look at my father for help.

"Dad!.." But my words come out in horror at the sight before me. My father's smile was replaced with a frown, his eyes entirely white as they rollback. His skin was a nasty inhuman grey, the only color visible being the bruises on his neck. The bruises from the rope he used to hang himself.

The aura around them darkened reminding me that all that was left of my parents were their lifeless bodies underground. This is who they were. Corpses.

I watched them in fear as they looked at me vacantly, the love that once coaxed their eyes extinct. I kept telling myself that this was a dream but I was wide awake, I know I was because there was no way to wake up. If this were another one of my nightmares I would've woken up by now. I guess my night terrors have finally found a way to torture me while awake.

The dead man that deemed to be my father Slowly starts to pull my mother by her waist, both retreating inside our home. Both of them disappear before me, their bodies walking through the door neither one of them looking back. I didn't want them to go. Why were they leaving me again? I didn't even get to say goodbye. Not again. This can't happen again.

I begin to pound on the door panic filling my veins. I wasn't even aware of the tears running down my face. I had to get in there.

"Mom! Dad! Please open up!" I shout, continuing my assault on the door. "Mommy, please, I'm sorry. Daddy, let me in" I sob, not being able to catch my breath. I didn't care that oxygen wasn't being able to fill my lungs, I just needed to get to them.

Why weren't they listening?

"I'm sorry!" I shout pleadingly "I love you guys, please, please let me in." My cries become even louder as I shake the doorknob. "Don't leave me here, I'm begging you. Please don't let me go, please!"

Suddenly a pair of arms wrap themselves around my waist pulling me into a hard chest. I begin to scream refusing to let go, begging to be released.

"No! No, let me go! I need to see them, I need to say goodbye." I tell more so my self then the person holding me. "I can't let them leave me again." I cry hitting the arms locked around me.

The arms holding me grip me tighter but not in a painful way. No, it wasn't painful at all, they were the opposite of harsh entirely.  The individual's touch was soft, arms gentle as they held my body flush against his.

"Shhh, Aurora it's okay. No one is here, it's just you and me." The voice whispers in my ear matting my hair.

"Don't let them leave," I beg my voice breaking with each word, my grip deadly tight around the knob.

"Logan, help me. Help me get inside." I beg my tears still coming down my face in pools.

"Aurora"  He looks pained as he stares at my broken form. But I didn't want his pity I wanted his help.

"Please Logan, Knock the door down." I cry turning in his arms, finally looking at him. His head falls as he shakes his head, refusing my request.

Anger bubbles in my chest, my emotions on overdrive.

"Help me you jerk" I push his chest and he stumbles back "do something good for once!" I shout, "I need to get in there, I need to see them again." My voice cracks, the sobs taking over again.

He takes a step closer and grabs the back of my head forcefully placing it on his chest. As soon as I take in his scent my senses come back. I know what's real and what isn't. I remember that I'm alone and that there is no one in that house waiting for me. There was nobody waiting for me, I missed my chance a long time ago.

Logan sits down on the doormat taking my body with him. His arms are wrapped around my waist protectively as I lay my head on his chest. I laid there still in his arms, one hand gripping the doorknob.  I refused to let go, I hoped that if I held on tight enough they could feel me. They could sense that I was out here and I was waiting for them. In a way, this made me feel closer to them too. To my parents.

We laid there for what seemed like hours. Me in his arms as he hushed my cries and wiped away the pain with every tear that fell.

Finally, I caved in and dropped the hand holding the doorknob and use it to clutch Logan's arm. His embrace is the only place I felt protected right now. My father's swinging body keeps coming to mind, the bruises on his neck leaving me traumatized. I unconsciously find myself itching my neck. Only to have Logan pull my hands away.

"Come on, let's go to my parents' house for the night."

I don't say a word as I follow him to the car. I also don't say a word during our drive to his house. I wasn't ready to answer any questions. I knew I would have to soon. I just had a mental break down, he wasn't going to let it slide. I also might've just blown my cover but I didn't want to think about any of that. I didn't want to talk about any of that. I just wanted to forget what I saw tonight.

I should've never left the car. If I would've just sat there and waited for Logan I wouldn't be the wreck I am now.

He probably thinks I'm crazy. Hell, I think I'm crazy. I just saw my dead parents.

At least I saw them, I think to myself.

"We're here," He says turning off the car saving me from myself.

His hands remain on the steering wheel, his gaze hard and unreadable. Neither one of us makes a move to leave the car and neither one of us makes a move to speak.

"You want to tell me what happened back there," he asks me. I don't have to look at him to know he's not looking at me. I would've felt his gaze.

I look down at my hands and fiddle with the wraps around my dress. I totally forgot I was at a party.

"No" I reply my voice coming out hoarse from all my screaming and crying earlier.

He doesn't ask me anything after that. He gets out of the car and I take it as an initiative to follow.

We quietly walk into his house, top-toeing up the stairs making sure not to wake his parents. We hear a door open and Logan quickly pushes me into the towel closet. I can't see his face but I can feel the proximity of his body. We were close, close enough for me to feel his breathing.

Once we hear the door close again we quietly walk out of the closet and slip into Logan's room. He starts digging through his dresser, taking a big sweater and a pair of sweatpants out throwing them at me.  I let them hit me in the face and fall to the floor with a light thud.

" go to the bathroom and be very quiet. Change into those and come back here. We need to leave tomorrow morning before my parents wake up." He explains.

"Okay," I answered coyly.

When I make it to the bathroom I wince at the sight of me. My Smokey black eyeshadow was now all over my cheeks and smeared into the grey face paint Sabrina used as my foundation. My hair was a wild mess, the curls were loose and all over the place and my neck was red from my constant itching. Recalling my itch only made me think of my father, causing me to itch again, irritating the sensitive skin even more.

I sigh and wash my face as best as I could and throw on Logan's clothing. It was way too big in size for me, which I didn't mind, but he was so tall that the pants were covering my feet and dragging with me as I walked.

When I walk in the room I see that he is fully dressed and wiping off his skull makeup with wipes. I sit on his bed watching him silently as he finishes wiping off the last bit of black paint on his jaw.

"Cute." He says complimenting my baggy pajamas. I avoid his gaze, "I'll meet you back here in the morning" He tells me plucking a pillow from the side of my head.

I start to panic at the thought of being alone in the dark. I wasn't afraid of the dark, I've slept alone my entire life but after the images that played before me tonight, I didn't think I was going to be able to sleep alone. My nightmares were surely going to make an appearance and I'd rather have Hagen in here to mute my screams rather than Mr. and Mrs. Foley.

I grab his hand as he's about to walk away. "Don't go" I beg my tone soft and voice small.

He looks down at me with meditation. Sighing he places the pillow on the floor next to the bed along with a blanket. I give him a thankful glance from on top of the bed.

I look up at the ceiling not really seeing anything due to the darkness. My body was begging for sleep but my mind was terrified of what was to invade my dreams tonight.

"Hey, logan" I whisper. "Are you asleep?"

He groans in response.

"Logan" I whisper again.

"Well I'm not anymore"

"Sorry," I say, the simple word having more than one meaning.

"You can't sleep?" He asks.

"No" I admit.

"Is it because of what happened tonight?"

I don't answer right away. "Yea"

Silence falls between us again. Biting my lip I ask. "Logan, do you ever have nightmares?"

"When I was a kid, yea," he says meaningfully.

I sit up in bed and look down at him even though I know he couldn't see me and I couldn't see him. "How did you make them stop?" I ask curiously.

I can hear him moving and I'm guessing he's also sitting up now. "Well I just faced my fears I guess."

I roll my eyes at his obvious answer. "I could've just asked google" I retort.

He chuckles and it makes my mood lighter. This entire night left an unbearable amount of pressure on my chest.

"I'm serious. You need to have a sit down with the monsters in your head. You need to accept them. They aren't really monsters, they are just figments of your conscious trying to get your attention. there is something bothering you and because you won't face it your body will force you to. We fear what seems scary to our naked eye, we never take a moment to stop and think that even the monsters can carry meaning and beauty behind the mess that they are."

I smile at him even though I can't see him. "Are you secretly a poet, because that was deep."

He laughs again. I wish I could make him laugh all night because every time that sound fell from his lips the weight on my chest became lighter.

"No I was just a child who realized I was afraid of looking into my closet or under the bed, so I made a monster up in my head who kept telling me to look in my dreams. When I did the nightmares stopped."

I giggle, " you were afraid to look under your bed?"

"Goodnight Aurora,"  he says ignoring my question.

"Goodnight Logan."

A few minutes pass between us when I open my mouth again.

"Logan"

I hear him groan again. "What is it now"

"Thank you for tonight. I know you want answers but I hope you can give me time." I admit.

"A week"

"What?" I ask puzzled by his response.

"You have a week to explain"

"Okay," I tell him even though I knew it wasn't going to be enough.

Silence fills the room once again but there has been a question ringing in my ear since I seen Logan tonight at the party. "Logan"

"Dammit Aurora! Let a man get some sleep!" He whisper shouts, throwing his pillow at me. He misses. I'm almost tempted to make fun of his terrible aim.

"I'm sorry, last question I swear" I state, throwing the pillow back on the floor.

"Well get on with it" he demands.

"How did things go with Katie? Did it go as planned?"

He doesn't answer me for a while. Sighing he says, "it's complicated."

"Does that mean yes or does that mean no?" I ask still curious. A part of me wanted to know the answer, just the tiniest part of me, like five percent of me. The rest of me was telling me to shut up and go to sleep.

"Why does it matter to you" He retorts annoyed.

"It doesn't! It was just a question, you don't have to be so uptight every time someone brings up her name." I whisper sourly as I fluff my pillow and lay back down. Jerk.

"No" he answers but I don't reply. "Did you hear me? I said no." I smile as I continue to ignore his angry whispers. "Oh so now you decide to sleep, well thank God! Maybe I can sleep too"

"No" I mutter quietly to my self.

The five percent of me that wanted to know liked that word.

No.

Authors note: Well....what do you think my lovelies! It's starting to get interesting right? Which team are you on? TEAM HAGEN? Or TEAM LOGAN? Or you know ahem ahem TEAM BRANDON? Haha let me know what you think in the comments and if you could please vote and share my story, that would be great! Thank you for all the support!