Breakfast For Lunch, Anyone?
"Penny!" I shout energetically, waving both of my hands in the air.
The weather was still carrying cold winds making parents worry their children could be in jeopardy of catching the flu. Even with the morning sun shining down on our quiet neighborhood my father insisted on me taking my gloves, hat, and scarf. I would be disposing of the three in my backpack as soon as I got in the car.
Penny who is standing with the door open throws her arms around my neck squeezing me tight. I giggle as she pulls me inside her house. Today her mom, Mrs. Carter, said she'd be taking us to school. Usually, penny and I would take the bus but we wanted to have breakfast together today.
"Come on, the donuts are still warm!" She announces, a bounce in her step.
I follow her through the hallway and into the kitchen. Ever since we moved here when I was seven and my parents befriended the carters I've spent almost all my time in their home. I could roam the halls of this house with my eyes closed.
"Good morning Mrs. carter," I say sweetly taking off my coat and other unnecessary winter garments.
She smiles down at me her pink lipstick making her white teeth look even whiter.
"Good morning Aurora. How's your mom doing?" She asks as I take my seat next to penny behind the kitchen island. They had those tall spinning stools that I was begging mom to invest in, they made sitting in the kitchen so much more fun.
"She's doing good," I reply watching as she takes out three glasses and a gallon of milk.
Mr.Carter walks in shortly ruffling penny's hair as well as mine, wishing us both a good morning. Behind him, a sleepy-looking Hagen follows. I begin to wiggle in my seat when he plops down next to me, forcing my body to go berzerk. Penny smiles at me and purposely twists my chair so my face is towards Hagens. He gives me a bored look which I return with an awkward smile. His green eyes don't bother holding my gaze and he twists my chair back towards penny who is twirling her dirty blond hair that she inherited from her mother in delight. I make my angry pout evident showing her I'm mad but she shrugs me off as soon as Mrs. carter places a plate of donuts, cookies and apple pie in front of us. I look at the three desserts in hunger and confusion. I lean closer to penny and whisper in her ear.
"Not that I'm mad about it but isn't breakfast usually eggs and bacon or I don't know pancakes ?"
"Not today my dear friend today is my day to choose what we get to eat and I felt like having sweets for my morning meal. For Breakfast we have sweets and for lunch, we have breakfast food, sounds great! Right?" She explains to me before shoving a donut in her mouth.
I hear Hagen snort muttering "kids" patently. I pout breaking my cookie instead of eating it. I didn't want to be viewed as a child in his eyes but it was true I was. I was a kid but so was he! He was only two years older than me.
"Your only two years older than both of us." I state pointing my broken cookie at him, "so that makes you a kid to"
He gives me an annoyed look clearly not satisfied with what I said. But I didn't care I was right. Besides, penny was a genius, sweets for breakfast and breakfast for lunch sounded amazing. There was nothing childlike about it, it was all about good taste which he clearly had none of.
"Whatever" He retorts, lamely May I add. He didn't even look at me while saying it he just ate his donut not even paying attention to my existence.
"Whatever" penny mocks making her face disoriented in the ugliest and funniest way I have ever seen. I burst into a fit of laughter with her joining me. Hagen being annoyed at this point throws one of the cookies at penny earning him a slap across the head from his mother and victorious smiles from us.
"Cheers to sweets for breakfast and breakfast for lunch!" She announces as we tap our cookies together like the mad hatter and his tea party friends.
"Cheers"
My flashback ends as I see the waitress approached our table. I was currently at my promised appointment with Logan, Hagen, and Hagens's girlfriend Sarah.
Earlier today Logan had knocked on my dorm door with his usual glare, like yesterday's events never happened. I was grateful to see it wasn't awkward between us.
"What the hell is taking you so long?" He asks annoyed.
I roll my eyes leaving the door open gesturing for him to come in. Luckily Katie wasn't here because she still had classes or my whole "I wasn't thinking about anything" assurance would look like a scam.
He looks over at her side of the room his eyes longing for her presence. He doesn't make move to touch anything on her side of the room or even sit on her bed. He joins me on mine as I tie the laces of my lavender converse.
"You take forever." He states trying to start an argument with me. I see him still looking over at Katie's bed so I cave in and give him what he wants.
"And your ugly," I announce knowing I'll get a reaction from him.
True to my words his head snaps in my direction as I finish up tying the other shoe. I give him a smug smile.
"Well if you would've finished sooner you wouldn't have to deal with my ugly face, but you take so much damn time that we are definitely going to be late."
Frustrated by his attempt to blame this on me I grab my bag and slap him upside the head with it. Causing him to jump his hand shooting up to his head glaring at me in the process.
"It's your own fault! How was I supposed to know that you were already here! I don't have your number so I have no means of communicating with you so don't blame the extra two minutes I used to put on a little lip gloss you jerk."
He stands up smirking dousing my composure. I take a step back but it only pushes him to take another towards me until my back hits the wall. My breath hitches in my throat when he places both of his long brawn arms on either side of my head trapping me in place. This is what the little mouse must feel when the rattlesnake corners its prey. Thanks to Tiana's interest for animal planet I'm very aware of the little chance I have from conquering the predator before me. His smile grows wicked when he notices how my eyes divert from his nervously.
"You know Aurora if you wanted my number you could've just asked." He whispers huskily, his breath fanning my face forcing me to close my eyes for a brief moment before facing the captivating grey his hold. This is the second time he plays this game with me and I was so over it. I just wish I could find the strength in me to torment him or push him away. But as soon as his eyes met mine I grovel into a puddle of mush.
"Y-you know that's not what I meant." I proclaim cursing myself for stuttering.
One of his arms falls giving me a chance to escape from his imprisonment but suddenly his hand moves to my face barely brushing my cheek. His smirk is gone, his eyes playful as they dink in my features up close. He grabs a loose strand of my hair tucking it behind my ear causing me to suck in a breath. His head then begins to move and as soon as I think his lips are going to come crashing into mine they are on my ear.
"Too bad I'm ugly" He whispers before walking out of the room laughing,leaving me in a red heaving mess.
I look at Logan who is sitting next to me eyes glued to the menu hunger swimming in his eyes. If I wasn't still fuming from what happened earlier today I would've made fun of him for it, but right now I'm trying to figure out his jack in the box mood swings.
"Do you both know what you guys want to order?" Hagen asks causing both of our heads to look up and regard him.
"I'll have a chicken burger with curly fries and a coke" Logan answers.
"I'll have waffles with whip cream and some fruit on the side," I order politely.
Logan gives me an inquisitive glance while Hagen visibly stiffens in his seat.
"Breakfast for lunch?" Hagen asks me his voice coming out acutely. Like he's in pain, a memory of once was playing in both of our minds only thing is, he thinks he's the only one looking back on it.
"Yea, I'm craving waffles." I shrug like it's no big deal.
"I'll have what she's having," he says to the waitress his eyes never leaving mine. It was as if he was daring me to react. He was waiting for me to break, to make sure his mind wasn't playing tricks on him.
"But baby you usually order their regular" Sarah cuts in forcing his gaze away from me. I almost forgot she was here. when Logan and I arrived late -something Logan continued to remind me- she gave us a speedy greeting with a barely visible smile. She didn't talk much either if she wasn't having her own conversation with Hagen she was tapping away at her phone.
He throws her a warm smile that doesn't really reach his eyes. I know this because when penny died and I would discreetly watch him he would give people that exact same smile. What people didn't know is that when Hagen really smiled his dimple would concave deeply so prominent you would forget to look at his smile and just focus on that dimple.
"I know but I want to try something new and breakfast for lunch sounds worth a shot." the waitress walks away after jotting down Sarah's order leaving us alone.
"Can I have a waffle?" I look at Logan who is giving me a hopeful smile. I was still frustrated with him but his puppy face was doing wonders. My facade breaks and I crack a smile causing him to chuckle. I shake my head hoping it can shake off the goofy smile he colored on my face. Giving him a semi-serious look I bargain.
"Only if you share your curly fries with me" I offer.
"Deal" we both nod in agreement satisfied with our transaction.
"You can share with me man leave the girl's food alone." Hagen proposed.
"No, I'd much rather steal food from Aurora."
I take notice of the discernible difference in Hagens's jaw when my name is said. It tightens and he tries to cover it up or rub it out with his hand.
"It's not stealing if I told you it was okay idiot," I tell Logan grabbing my glass of water taking a sip.
Logan huffs and I can see him roll his eyes from the corner of my eye.
"Well, you know what I mean! Must you pick at everything I say."
"If you would say it right I wouldn't have to," I say non-combatant.
"If you would..."
" Are you guys a thing?" Sarah perks up stopping Logan from firing back. We both look at each other in what seems like disgust or awkwardness?
"No, they are just friends." Hagen points out to his girlfriend.
"Really? Well if Katie saw the way you two were acting she would think otherwise, or maybe she wouldn't care what do you think Logan?" Sarah gives Logan a smile but anyone could see that it was anything but sweet, it was Venomous.
The one time this girl bothers to open her mouth and look up from her phone she decides to cause drama. I look at Hagen for a brief moment wondering if this was his type before returning my gaze to a now stricken Logan. His face is tight in his usual glare except it wasn't quite as soft as the ones he gave me. His eyes that were hungry have now lost their appetite. He's gripping his phone in his hands like he's trying to stop himself from throwing it at Sarah.
"Sarah" Hagen says in warning but she ignores him eyes still on a fiery looking Logan. How is she not scared right now? If it was me on the other end of Logan's fury I would've run for the hills.
"No, it's ok Hagen." He says in ire. "Someone is just pissed off they couldn't be in Katie's place and had to resort to being someone else's temporary choice. How long you think this one will last Hagen ?"
Ouch...Sarah's wicked faced smile has vanished and replaced with hurt? anger? Embarrassment? All of the above maybe. Hagen sits their uncomfortable now that he's put on the spot. Logan's eyes are on him with purpose, Sarah's eyes waiting for an answer and mine in confusion. I was just lost, so lost I didn't know who to look at. So this is who hagen carter turned out to be, a player.
Looks like Logan was stuck in a love triangle. This is why I thank the stars I'm not ever involved in any of the boy drama. The closest I got to that was Brandon and it wasn't even drama it was just me being dramatic. Thankfully my best friend was understanding and it ended well.
Sarah's head snaps to her side looking at a muted Hagen.
"Well?" She snarls "Are you going to say something, defend me maybe."
"Why should he?" Logan laughs "or do you want to know how soon he's going to dump your crazy ass."
Sarah looks like she's on the verge of tears even though she's doing a good job of trying to conceal it. Feeling bad, regardless if she started being cruel first I try and get Logan to stop his attack. I place my hand hesitantly on his arm. Sarah's eyes shoot daggers at me. If laser vision was a real I would've evaporated off the face of the earth.
"Hey, I think she's had enough."
He turns to glare at me but his face softens when he sees my hand on his arm. He looks at Hagen who is giving him a wondering look one eyebrow arched. He pushes my hand off of his arm muttering a whatever.
Sarah stands up from her seat in anger. "I'm not going to sit here and be humiliated!" She shouts catching attention from other people in the diner. Hating the attention I cower my head. She points her finger at Logan "you, I promise you I'm going to make you regret every word you said. Your pathetic if you think Katie will ever go back to you." I reach for Logan's hand as soon as I see him about to jerk out of his seat. He sits back down but doesn't take his dangerous eyes off of Sarah. She finally faces her boyfriend in disgust. "And you, I'm your girlfriend! How could you sit there and listen to all of that be said to me without making a move to defend me."
Hagen stares at her calm and collected not very phased at all. He must do this a lot.
"You should've never instigated. You just proved to me your not over this stupid obsession you have with him and now you're trying to blame me for not defending. Well, I apologize I'm not going to defend my ex-girlfriend who is still trying to get with my friend."
"Ex-girlfriend?" She stumbles incoherently.
"How long did this one last Hagen" Logan asks in triumph. I elbow him in his side.
"You guys are such assholes!" She shouts stomping out of the diner.
"What the heck just happened ?" I ask still dumbfounded.
"Uhh..your order is ready," the waitress from before says warily.
"Thank you," Hagen says kindly as she places the food before us hesitating before placing down Sarah's order. Good thing I'm not the one paying.
Logan still has a frown on his face as he stares into space deep in thought. I have a feeling he's thinking about Sarah's words. About Katie. About what they were and how it went wrong.
I sigh wishing I could help. Looking down at my breakfast I smile getting an idea. I cut a piece of the waffle making sure to smear it with whip cream.
"Logan"
He huffs his head turning to face me, "What do.." but before he can finish I stuff the waffle in his mouth. He chokes momentarily forgetting how to chew a little whip cream on his lips. His frown ceases to exist as he licks his lips.
"That was good" he chimes happily I can't help but giggle, good Food really does solve everything. Remembering that Hagen is seated with us I look over to see him staring at us face void of emotion. I would've been scared if it weren't for Logan being here with me.
Throughout lunch, we eat in silence. I snack on Logan's fries as promised and he continues to dig into my waffles leaving half of his burger uneaten. I have a sad smile on my face as I watch him, Penny was so right about breakfast for lunch. Hagen barely touched any of his. He seemed sullen as soon as the plate came into view. He stared at it for a while before he took his first bite.
True to his word Hagen pays for our lunch. When we're all shuffling out of the restaurant Logan gets a call. I see the words Katie shine a picture of him and her taking over the screen. He's smiling, grey eyes alight with happiness as she kisses his cheek eyes closed. I grin at the sight he looked so happy, so un-Logan like. He holds the phone watching it ring for a moment before dubiously answering.
"What is it?" He answers coldly entirely different from the way he approached her back at the dorms.
I can't hear anything on the other end of the phone call. I try to understand as much as I can from Logan's one-word answers. He looks defeated by the end of the conversation and finishes the call with an "I'll be there in five"
"Everything alright?" I ask him genuinely concerned.
"Yea, Everything is fine. Katie's car broke down and she needs help." He announces running his hand through his dark locks making them messy.
"You go I'll take Aurora back to the dorms." Hagen offers.
My eyes bulge in fear at the thought of me being alone with Hagen in the car. Just the two of us in a small confined space, where he will have the free will to read me as he pleases. Interrogate me as he desires. I wouldn't be able to run away or avoid his gaze, his questions, or avoid him without exposing myself.
I give Logan a desperate plea, despair written on every corner of my face. He gives me a reassuring nod.
"No, I'll just take her with me." I smile in delight and relief my body slowly retreating to its normal stance.
"Man, trust me that will do you no good. It'll just make Katie angry, besides, this would be a good time to get her alone with you so you two can discuss. She can't run away if she's stuck in a car with you." He explains trying to convince Logan.
"Please don't listen to him" I mutter quietly so both of them cant hear me.
I knew it was true, that this could be the perfect opportunity for Logan to fix things with Katie. The picture of him being entirely molded of joy with her reruns through my mind and I feel guilty. My selfish reasons surface, trying to battle my guilt, they duel and they banter. Logan has helped me so much in the few weeks I've known him. He has contributed to my current mellow in more ways than one, if it weren't for him I'd be trapped in my mind, I'd be wallowing in my past, I'd be drowning in my tears. I'd be Hagens victim again. I owe this to him.
"He's right" I exclaim.
He gives me a stupefying stare. Like I've surrendered myself to my doom. I think I just might have.
"Are you sure? I don't feel comfortable leaving you alone with him." He looks down at me still unsure. It warms my heart.
"I told you it was an accident, and I apologized I thought she was someone else." Hagen interrupts irritated.
Logan gives him an equivalent vehement glance. "She didn't say she forgives you so it doesn't mean shit."
I sigh realizing he won't leave until he knows I'm okay with it. I can see the internal battle going on within him. A part of him wants to stay, make sure I'm okay. He doesn't want to leave me with someone he knows I'm not comfortable with when he promised to accompany me today. But then another part of him, the bigger part of him, the part that is still longing for her, wants to get in that car and drive away. So I do what my heart tells me. Guilt has won this battle, sorry selfishness you will have to rule another day.
"I do, I forgive him," I announce my voice comes out strained as I spew another lie. "He didn't mean it, it's only fair I give him a chance to prove that."
"Aurora" he sighs. Hagen puts his hand on his shoulder nodding his head towards Logan's car.
"Go get her man, I'll take care of it from here." He tells him looking at me.
I watch as Logan walks away and gets in his car. He doesn't look back, even though I was hoping he would. I instantly regret nominating my guilt the winner when Hagen leads me to his car. He opens the door for me waiting for me to get in. I only do so when I see he's gotten into the driver's seat.
The first thing I notice when I finally maneuver myself into his car is his scent. It was everywhere, suffocating me. I felt like was I being caged by my past held by my throat, I couldn't shout to end this torture or even catch my breath. When I was younger the mere glimpse of him made me feel giddy and even safe. Now the mere smell of him makes my blood run cold.
He starts up the car and the engine roars to life making this moment so much more real and less like a nightmare. I can't help but weight out whether or not I'd want this to be a nightmare. At least in one of my night Terrors, I could wake up and his face would disappear.
"I want to apologize again, I truly am not as violent as I seemed. I just mistook you for someone else." He speaks up trying to ease the tension in the car but what he doesn't understand is that he's making it worse. I didn't want to hear his voice, I didn't want to be in the same car as him, heck I didn't even want to be in the school as him.
"It's fine I just don't understand how you could be so merciless to someone. I get that you mistook me for someone but that doesn't make the situation any lighter. It still means your a jerk." I admit shocking myself.
I guess I was still very angry. But who wouldn't be I was tormented by this person. At a point in my life, he was one of the dearest things I held to my heart. I would wake up wanting to see his face, wanting to hear his voice, wanting to be cared for by him. I used to be loved by this person only to be hated and beaten out of the blue. The tribulation he put me through, the damage he caused was enough to leave me angry for years. My indignation grew year after year waiting for an opportunity to lunge, to rip into the heart that created this blood bath of fury in the first place. Finally, I was given the chance. I didn't have to be afraid at this moment. He had no idea who I was, I had the upper hand, my lie shielded me. I could muster up the meanest, most awful things and say it. I could finally say something and it felt so good, so very good even though I felt so bad inside. But not for him, I felt bad because of him.
"You have a terrible image of me," He says throwing me a smile which I don't return.
"I think I have a very vivid image of who you are." I spat in irascibility. My confidence brewing, the shy shell of a girl I truly am masked.
He hits the break abruptly forcing my body forward. I didn't bother putting on my seatbelt when I had gotten into the car but before my body can crash into the dashboard Hagen's arm intercepts me forcing me back into my seat. I look at him seething thinking he's done it on purpose but his eyes are on the old man making his way across the street. My eyes momentarily soften. He was going to hit that old man if he hadn't stopped and here I thought it was to hurt me. I feel his arm still planted across my body protectively. The same arm that pushed me down time after time when all I wanted was for him to reach out to me. I shove his arm off.
"Don't touch me." My voice comes out hateful.
He sighs as he starts driving again. If it were Logan he would've yelled at me for not saying thank you. He would've bickered with me until we ended up laughing. I regret letting him leave me here with Hagen. I wish I could call him but I don't have his number. I could always ask Mrs. Foley but that would be weird. Besides he deserved to make things right with Katie, he won't be here to save me forever. I have to keep telling myself that.
"Your right" he admits.
"Excuse me"
"Your right I am a jerk. But you don't know me" his eyes don't leave the road as he speaks to me. The remain intently on everything before him.
"I don't need to know you. Knowing you won't justify your actions." I fold my arms and tear my gaze away from him to look at the window. We were getting close to campus.
I knew him, I knew everything about him but at the same time I knew nothing, he was a complete stranger to me.
"People get angry Aurora." The way he says my name sends little needles walking all over my pattering heart.
The car stops but neither one of us gets out. I should, I should get out and not listen to a single thing he has to say. I should call him a jerk, a monster, the devil himself but I don't. I sit there and I wait because I want to know. Even if it's just a sparse detail. I want to listen. I want to know why he did what he did.
"Does anger justify pain?" I ask him my voice going quiet. I was angry but I never once caused anyone pain. "You could've hurt me, you could've hurt the girl you thought I was."
"No, but anger justifies action. I know what I did was wrong but I'm still learning to do things right. I'm angry and sometimes I don't think about justifying it. I just want to let it all go."
I turn in my seat to see he's looking at me his emerald-like eyes focused on my figure. My hand is gripping the door handle ready to flee if anything goes wrong.
" and that girl, the girl you mistook me for. Does she have anything to do with your anger?" He nods his jaw tightening at the mention of the girl, the girl he has yet to know is me.
" but that's not something I want to talk about."
He turns off the car and I'm the first to get out. I don't thank him for the ride and I don't wait for him. I just grab my bag and start walking back to my dorm. Thoughts upon thoughts begin to pile inside my mind space making my brain hurt. My phone starts to ring and I sigh at the annoying bell music coming from it. I answer it quickly annoyed not bothering to look at the number.
"Hello," I say tired.
"Are you okay, did you get to the dorms okay?" The voice inside my phone says.
I move the phone away from my ear briefly to see it's an unknown number.
"Logan?" I question placing the phone back on my ear.
"Yea, it's me."
"How did you get my number?" I ask as I begin walking again.
"I asked my mom for it, I knew you wanted my number badly but your too shy so I decided to reward you with a phone call from me." I can picture the smirk on his face while he spews this nonsense.
I surprise myself by laughing despite my sour mood. "You seem like your in a good mood. I'm guessing things went well?"
"Partly" he admits.
"What do you mean?" I ask kicking a rock in front of me, it is my only company.
"Story for another time. How'd the drive go with Hagen, he's not a bad guy right."
I sigh still kicking my new friend. "Yes, I guess."
"You guess?"
"He's okay, I don't get what you want me to say exactly," I tell him my annoyance raising having to talk about him when I just wanted to stop thinking about him.
"This is the kind of treatment I get for giving you my number." I giggle. He always manages to make me laugh.
"Goodbye Logan"
"A thank you would be.."
I end the call before he can finish, laughing my chuckles seeping into the warm August air. I look down at the screen a smile still playing on my lips as I type in his name on my phone.
Logan the loser.
Perfect, I smile
Authors note:
Okay ! First off Hello! Now that I'm finally a few chapters into the book I would really like to hear some of your thoughts. It could be your opinion on the book in general,on the characters ( please be nice they are like my children), your theories or ideas, it can even be a random message like "I love candy" anywhoooo I hope you enjoy the rest of the book I will work harder to make it better. Don't forget to vote ! Please and thank you!
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