my love, i wish i was with you, i so badly want to be with you.

all i want is to be with you. i feel i could go to you, wherever you are.

spring is in the air. except it is more summer than spring. the days are fresh and breezy. the sky is so blue, so blue, do you remember the african sky? i love this time of year when winter turns to early summer. the days are mild and still cool in the mornings and early evenings. the afternoons make long shadows and the colour of the light turns different shades of orange when the sun starts setting.  opposite the road is the biggest jakaranda tree you have ever laid eyes on. it is magnificent and must be the prettiest and most perfectly shaped jakaranda in the whole of the town. it is covered in mauve flowers, a purple majesty. they do not last long though, and what a pity. i wish you could see it. it sits in front of that beautiful, huge white house with the many white pillars and the picture it forms, is simply unmatched. the cars drive by and the sound is soothing. the cicadas are noisy, but a way off. it is as if their sound is warm, maybe because in the heat of the afternoon they are also heard, but somehow more so in the early evening, a short while after sunset. i wish you were here. what would we do? lay on the bed with our faces in the slanting sun in the early afternoon and talk? sit at the table on the balcony with glasses of iced tea? maybe wine...we might get tipsy and laugh a lot, but i suspect we would laugh a lot anyway.  you make me so happy that it is hard to put in words. my heart hums with the joy of you, this is true. i feel it swell with knowing.

i am not sure you will like my iced tea. i have learned to make it myself and i love it if i may say so... i use green tea or red bush tea. i make jugs of it and keep it in the fridge. and i stock up on ice. the secret to good iced tea is a huge glass filled to the brim with ice, tea poured in and a straw. there has to be a straw. and lots of ice. i hope you will like it because it is not sweet. i do not like it sweet. but i will sweeten yours if you like. i will do anything for you. anything. i love you so. you can even have lemon if you insist.

i spend my days thinking of what we will do when we are together. i have to admit i also spend time thinking how it would have been if we had met earlier. i cannot help it. i think of it often even if it is of no use. i love imagining things we do together. not going places, really. just how we will be around each other. the things you will say to me. my retorts. us laughing. a lot. me loving every bit of you, having your mind for me only. inspecting it, inspecting you. loving every perfect thing i find. every perfect thing for me. you are so perfect for me.

and being serious. a lot of serious too. how we will agree and differ on important things. you have surprised me with the things you have said. so pleasantly. you are such a radical thinker in certain ways. i love you for it. i love your out of the box thinking and your inside the box thinking. what made u so wise? genes? life? i admire you so much. i want to share so much with you still. i am so frightened that that won't happen, for some reason. you are such a good teacher. you explain things so well. i could listen to you forever. i could argue with you forever.

i love what you know of me. and how you know me. i am so in love with how you love me. i am so pleased about how you know my faults and imperfections and yet do not judge. you are so much better a person than i am. your eyes are so open. i love how you see me. and love me anyway.

thank you

ruby