Dear diary,

I came back to Korea a few days ago and I am really glad I'm back. I missed my family a lot and seeing them again has made me feel much better. My mum threw me a party, inviting all these people I don't know and I felt so awkward because I'm not good with people but she had put in so much effort in organising everything that I couldn't bring myself to tell her I just wanted to go to my room and sleep. So, I just plastered on a smile and went around greeting everyone.

I had my first therapy session today. That is also the reason why I'm writing a diary. Our therapist, Ji Hoo told us to write down all our feelings in one even though I think that the idea is completely stupid. I also met someone really unexpected there. His name is Kim Taehyung.

He used to be my best friend until he broke my heart for reasons unknown then. As revenge I started sending him notes in high school, telling him why I hated him. Turns out it was just a huge misunderstanding. He tried to find me and ultimately we talked at the airport before I was leaving and I told him maybe we'd meet again. But I didn't know I'd actually meet him again.

I felt this ache in my heart when I saw him. It was like all my feelings came rushing back to me and I couldn't help being overwhelmed. It was awkward but thankfully, all the others arrived and we were saved from the awkward silence.

I really want to know why he is in therapy. Did he hurt himself? Is it because of me? Did he get depressed because I was a selfish little bitch?

I hope he's okay.

Yoo Ra
30/3/17

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dedicated to LovinJibooty because their comments on hate and on the prologue of this story made me feel motivated to write and really happy :)