The cafeteria was crowded when Chase and I entered it on Tuesday afternoon. Cindy had saved seats for us like she usually did, so we headed in that direction. When I spotted Adam sitting by himself, staring out the window, I hesitated for a moment. After my talk with Justice on Sunday, I’d done some thinking about Adam.

            Chase turned to see why I had paused, and he followed my gaze. Something flickered in his eyes, but it was gone too quickly for me to identify what the emotion had been. He looked back at me, clearly waiting for me to decide what to do.

            I was torn. I felt bad about how I’d been treating Adam, but I wasn’t sure if I was ready to talk to him about it. Reaching a decision, I headed over to where he was sitting, aware that Chase was following behind me. Adam glanced up when I stopped near him and surprise registered on his face. “Dana?”

            I couldn’t look at him, so I stared at my hands as I spoke. “I’m sorry,” I muttered quietly.

            I heard him get to his feet, and I scooted back a few steps, colliding into Chase. He placed his hands on my hips for a moment to keep me from falling and then he released me. I raised my head to look at Adam and saw that he was watching me closely. “What are you sorry for?” he asked.

            I blew out a shuddering breath and closed my eyes briefly. “Everything,” I replied, and then turned and made my way out of the cafeteria as quickly as I could, ignoring Adam as he called after me. I wasn’t capable of saying anything else to him; those three words had been hard enough.

            For some reason, I went up the stairs that were close to the cafeteria. I hadn’t been on the second floor of the school since I’d come back; all my classes were on the first floor to make it easier on my leg. The hallway was silent, with only the tapping of my crutches breaking the stillness as I moved forward. When I saw the decorated locker, I came to an abrupt halt. In my preoccupation with getting away from Adam, I’d inadvertently ended up in front of Luke’s old locker.

            I stared at the paper that covered the door. There were hundreds of little messages and signatures covering it, along with photos of my brother. Someone had taped a flower to it, and it was fresh so I knew someone had done it recently. I hobbled a few steps closer to look at the photos and my breath hitched when I saw one of Luke and I that had been taken only a few days before the accident.

            In the picture, Luke had his arm slung around my shoulders with a big grin on his face. We both had our faces painted in the school colors of royal blue and silver, since it was the day of the pep rally. I was laughing as I looked into the camera, but I couldn’t remember what had been so funny.

            I sensed rather than heard someone behind me. I didn’t have to turn around to know that it was Chase. “That’s my brother,” I murmured.

            Chase moved to stand beside me. “He looks happy,” he replied.

            A small smile touched my lips. “He was always happy. It used to annoy me that he always had a smile on his face and nothing bothered him. Nothing I did would make him mad.”

            Chase reached up and brushed a piece of hair off my face. “You were close to him?”

            My chest tightened as I nodded. “Very.”

            He turned to look at the paper again and I knew he was reading some of the messages that had been left. After a few minutes, he glanced at me again. “It looks like he was well loved.”

            “It was impossible not to like him.” I blinked suddenly. “Hey, we’re talking.”

            Chase seemed mildly startled when he realized that. “I guess we are.”

            We both fell silent after that, which I found very amusing. When I looked at Chase, I saw that he was fighting not to smile as well. I bumped him lightly with my shoulder. “Come on, let’s go back down.”

            I felt strangely lighter as the day went on. I’d talked about Luke for the first time, and it hadn’t been as difficult as I’d thought it was going to be. Chase and I didn’t speak again for the rest of the day, but I sensed a lightness in him as well that hadn’t been there before.

            When I brushed Justice that night, I told him about the conversation I’d had with Chase. “I didn’t think I’d ever be able to talk about Luke again, but it wasn’t too hard talking to Chase. It was strange how we just suddenly started talking to each other. I’m more comfortable with him than I am with anyone else.”

            When I settled myself in bed that night, I thought about what had happened that day. I’d made my first attempt to talk to Adam, and it had gone better than I’d expected it to. I’d seen Luke’s old locker and it had caught me off guard, but in the end it had made me realize how much everyone missed him. And I’d had an actual conversation with Chase, though it had been fairly short. All in all, I decided it had been a good day and I fell asleep with a small smile on my lips.

            The next morning, my parents were oddly silent at breakfast, and they kept sending me uncertain looks. I had no idea what was going on, and I quickly decided that I didn’t want to know. It obviously wasn’t anything good, and I didn’t want to spoil the new lightness that had come into my life yesterday.

            When I got to my first class at school, both Cindy and Adam sent me searching looks and I started to get slightly annoyed. Chase didn’t say anything as we waited for the bell to ring, and for that I was grateful. Despite my best intentions, my good mood was slipping away, and I concentrated on my binder, randomly doodling until the teacher called the class to attention by announcing we were having a pop quiz.

            It wasn’t until I went to write the date at the top of my test paper that I realized why everyone had been acting oddly today. I froze in place as I stared down at the paper. How could I forget? I wondered bewilderedly. I knew that I’d been in a funk for the last six months, but how had I forgotten that it was my birthday?

            It suddenly felt as if the room was closing in on me. My breathing picked up, and before I fully registered what I was doing, I scrambled to my feet. I glanced around the room and saw everyone looking at me in surprise. Both Cindy and Adam looked sympathetic, but I couldn’t deal with them. I couldn’t deal with anyone. I grabbed my crutches and left as fast as I possibly could. I heard chairs scraping across the floor behind me, but I couldn’t stop. I also heard Cindy’s voice shouting something, but I didn’t hear what it was.

            I moved faster than I thought was possible and less than a minute later I was bursting out of the school. The cold air slammed into me as I crossed the parking lot, finally stopping at the park that was at the end. I made my way to a bench and collapsed onto it, ignoring my crutches as they clattered onto the frozen ground. I rested my elbows on my knees and cradled my head in my hands.

            Someone sat down next to me, and an arm went around my shoulders. Just like yesterday, I knew it was Chase without looking up. My breathing hitched, and his arm tightened around me. I lifted my head from my hands and looked over at him. His eyes were full of compassion, though I knew he had no idea what had suddenly upset me. I laid my head on his shoulder and pressed my face into the crook of his neck as tears started coursing down my cheeks. I cried silently, taking comfort in his warmth and in his silence.

            When I managed to compose myself, I remained still for a moment before lifting my head again and looking down at my hands. “It’s my birthday,” I whispered. I saw Chase looking at me quizzically from the corner of my eye, so I continued. “Luke...” I swallowed hard and took a couple of deep breaths. “Luke was my twin,” I finished hoarsely.

            Chase raised the arm that wasn’t around me and gently brushed the tears off my cheeks. “You didn’t tell me that yesterday,” he said.

            “It’s hard for me to talk about him,” I replied.

            He nodded. “I know what you mean. I lost my parents when I was ten.”

            The unexpected information caused me to look over at him again. “How do you get over something like this?”

            He sighed and placed his one hand back in his lap, but he didn’t remove his arm from around my shoulders. “You don’t get over it. You just learn to live with it and you try to move on.”

            I let out a shaky breath. “I don’t know how I could have forgotten that it was my birthday today.”

            Chase was silent for a moment. “When did your brother die?” he asked gently.

            “Just over six months ago. We were in a car accident.” When his gaze strayed to my left leg, I nodded. “That’s how I was injured.”

            Chase didn’t say anything else; he just sat next to me quietly for the next fifteen minutes. Finally, he stood up and held his hand down to me. “Come on, let’s get out of here.”

            “Where are we going?” I asked as I let him help me to my feet and hand me my crutches.

            “Where do you want to go? It’s your birthday.”

            I thought about it for a moment. “I want to go visit my brother’s grave. I haven’t been there yet.”

            Chase nodded and I followed him back into the school parking lot. He surprised me when he led me over to a car. “I didn’t know you had a car.”

            His lips twisted into something resembling a sneer. “These foster parents have a lot of money,” he said bitterly.

            I wanted to ask him what he meant by that, but I held my tongue. I’d already learned one thing about him today and I wasn’t going to try and learn anything else. He helped me get into the car and then I gave him directions to the cemetery.

            Once there, I didn’t need directions to my brother’s grave. I knew instinctively where it was, and I headed straight for it. I stared down at the headstone, not knowing what to say. I placed a hand on the cool marble and struggled to keep my tears at bay. “Happy eighteenth birthday, little brother. I miss you more than you could ever imagine.” I wanted to say more, but the words got stuck in my throat, and I found it difficult to breathe all of a sudden.

            Chase slid his arms around my waist from behind me and pulled me close until my back was pressed against his chest. I was surprised at first, but then I relaxed into him and my breathing slowly returned to normal. The closeness of him gave me the strength to say one last thing to my brother. “Good bye, Luke. I love you.”

            Chase and I walked back to the car and I told him how to get to my place. When we were sitting in the driveway, I turned to him. “Thank you.”

            “You’re welcome. Will you be okay here?”

            I nodded. “My parents are home; they’re just down at the stables right now. They’ll come back to the house shortly.”

            “You have my number if you need me.”

            I gave him a small smile. “I know. I’ll see you at school tomorrow, okay?”

            “Okay.”

            I got out of the car and headed into the house, turning once to wave as Chase pulled away. Once I was inside, I went into the bathroom and started running a bath for myself. My parents came in while the water was running, and neither of them seemed too surprised to see me. “Are you okay?” my mom asked.

            I shook my head. “No, but I will be.”

            This seemed to satisfy them both, because they left me to myself after that. I soaked in the tub for an hour and then decided to have a nap. I could barely eat anything at supper that night, but my parents understood and didn’t comment on it.

            That night, I went down to the barn as usual. Justice was waiting for me and I instantly wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. “It was our birthday today, Justice. I miss him so much.”

            Justice craned his neck until it felt like he was almost hugging me back, and I felt comforted. When I released my hold on him, I looked at him thoughtfully. “I just had a really bad idea,” I told him. “Wait here.”

            I went to the tack room and clumsily grabbed a saddle, saddle pad and girth. I slowly made my way back down the aisle, trying to balance the awkward load without tripping on my crutches. I got back to the stall and let myself in. Justice stood patiently while I put the saddle pad and saddle on him, and he didn’t flinch when I tightened the girth. I went back down to the tack room and put on a helmet before grabbing his bridle and going to his stall once more.

            When he was fully tacked up, I put both my crutches under one are and led him out of the stall to the indoor arena. I was immensely grateful that my parents always left low lights on throughout the building. It didn’t make it very bright, but it was enough that I could see without running into anything.

            We went into the arena and I positioned him by the mounting block. I bit my lip as I studied the mounting block. “Try not to move,” I murmured as I set my crutches down and pulled myself up the two steps. I leaned against Justice for a moment, gathering up my courage. Then I managed to pull myself onto him with a lot less effort than I thought it would take. Once I was on him, I just sat there for a minute.

            When I was comfortable, I gathered up my reins and nudged him into a walk. Justice immediately moved out, striding around the arena with his ears pricked alertly. I was a little worried that he would spook at the dimness of the arena, but he moved confidently without faltering once.

            As we walked around, a smile started to form on my face. By the time we had gone around five times, I was smiling fully for the first time. After another two circuits, I decided that it was enough and guided him back to the mounting block. He once again stood completely still while I slowly wiggled my way off of him. Once I was firmly on the ground once more, I threw my arms around his neck for another hug. “That was a birthday gift for both of us, Luke,” I whispered and then turned to put Justice away.

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Lots happened in this chapter, so comment to let me know what you thought of it :-)