I ran the brush slowly down Justice’s side. My crutches were propped against the stall wall and I was using Justice to keep me upright. It was a very slow process, but Justice was patient with me and he didn’t move. This was the fourth night that I’d come down to the stables, but it was the first time I’d tried brushing him.

            I patted him and then cautiously ducked under his neck so I could brush his other side, continuing the story I was telling him as I did so. “I haven’t heard Chase speak since he said thanks to the teacher. I haven’t spoken to him yet, but I think I might soon. I have a feeling that I would be able to talk to him without worrying about him asking me about things that I don’t want to talk about.”

            I hobbled back to the grooming kit and grabbed another brush. “Adam hasn’t tried to talk to me since Chase grabbed his wrist. I’m not entirely sure what that was about, but I’m guessing Adam was going to put his hand on my shoulder or something and Chase stopped him.” I paused for a moment. “I wonder why he did that,” I murmured and then shrugged it off. “I’m sure he has his reasons. I sometimes wonder what his story is. I know he lives with foster parents, but that’s about it. Maybe one day I’ll find out, but I’m not going to push him.”

            I fell silent and finished brushing him, then grabbed my crutches. I gave Justice a last pat before I let myself out of the stall. “I’ll see you tomorrow night boy.” I put the grooming kit back in the tack room and then left the building to head back up to the house.

            Once back inside, I changed into my pajamas and crawled under my covers without taking my sleeping pills once again. I hadn’t taken them all week and the nightmares hadn’t bothered me. I hadn’t told my parents yet that I’d stopped taking them, but I was planning on telling them soon.

            When I woke up the next morning, my leg was feeling better than it had since the accident. As I made my way into the kitchen, I decided that it must be partially because of the extra exercise that I’d been getting every night by going down to the stables. My physical therapist was constantly telling me that exercise would make my leg stronger, but I’d never really listened to her, since I had no desire to strengthen it. But now that I had promised Luke that I would look after his horse, maybe I should actually concentrate on my physical therapy a little more.

            I greeted my parents when I got to the kitchen. They stopped talking when I came in, which instantly made me suspicious. I made myself a bowl of cereal and sat at the table, knowing that if they wanted to tell me what they were talking about, they would. I ate my breakfast quietly and once I’d put my bow in the sink, my dad finally told me what they’d been talking about. “Dana, can you sit down for a moment?”

            I sat back down at the table and looked at him expectantly. He blew out a breath and glanced at my mother before speaking again. “We were thinking of selling Destiny.”

            I was a little surprised at his words. They wanted to sell Destiny? I was quiet for a moment as I thought about how that made me feel. I’d only had her for about three months before the accident, so I hadn’t had time to form too much of a bond with her. I’d always enjoyed riding her, but I knew that it wasn’t fair to keep her when I wasn’t doing anything with her. I looked at my dad and shrugged. “Okay.”

            Both of my parents let out little sighs of relief. “Good, we already have a prospective buyer for her. We just didn’t want to make a final decision until we’d talked to you.”

            I nodded, grateful that they’d spoken to me even though I hadn’t shown any interest in the horses since I was in the hospital. A sudden thought had me tensing up. “What about Justice?”

            My dad looked shocked that I’d asked him that, but he answered me anyways. “We wouldn’t be able to sell him even if we wanted to.” When I looked at him questioningly, he explained. “Justice won’t perform for anyone since Luke died. He can be ridden, but he knocks over even the smallest jumps. He just doesn’t show interest in anything anymore.”

            I raised my eyebrows. Justice had always loved jumping, and he used to clear everything by at least a foot to make sure he didn’t knock any of them down. And what did my dad mean when he said Justice didn’t show interest in anything? He was always very happy to see me, nickering at me as soon as I entered the building. I didn’t tell my parents that, though. If I did, they’d know that I’d been spending time at the barn. So I didn’t say anything; instead I just stood up and got ready for school.

            Chase was waiting for me outside of our first class. I cocked my head at him questioningly, but he didn’t say anything as he followed me into the room and we took our seats. We spent the class like we always did, and parted ways afterwards. Cindy and Sarah had a yearbook meeting at lunch again, so we sat alone at the cafeteria. It felt like something had changed between us, but I wasn’t entirely sure what it was.

            At the end of our English class, he handed me a piece of paper. I frowned as I took it and unfolded it. A phone number was written on it, and I raised startled eyes up to Chase. He was regarding me with expressionless eyes, so I had no idea what giving me his number meant to him. I pulled my phone out of my pocket and entered his name and number into my contacts. Then I sent him a blank text message so that he’d have my number as well.

            A tiny smile touched his lips as he pulled his phone out his own pocket and stored my number. When he looked at me again, his expression had warmed and he cautiously reached up and touched my cheek briefly. My eyes widened at the contact, but before I could react he had grabbed my bag for me and started leaving the room. I followed along behind him, struggling to figure out what this all meant.

            Once at my locker, he handed my bag back to me and turned to leave. I reached out and touched his arm lightly, causing him to freeze and then slowly turn back to face me. “Bye,” I said quietly, uttering my first word to him.

            His eyes lit up, catching me off guard. It suddenly struck me that he was really good-looking. He touched my cheek once more, his fingers lingering for a moment longer than earlier. “Bye,” he whispered, and then he left.

            I raised a hand to my cheek, marveling in the warmth I had felt from his touch. Then I blew out a breath and headed out to the parking lot, where I knew Cindy would be waiting for me.

            On Sunday afternoon, I sat on the couch in the living room and stared down at my phone. I had Chase’s number on the screen, and I was debating what to do with it. I couldn’t call him; that would be entirely too awkward. But could I send him a text?

            After another fifteen minutes of indecision, I finally decided to leave it for now. We had spoken our first words to each other only two days ago. Texting him felt like it would be too much right now. I put my phone down and picked up the book that I had been reading.

            My mom came in a few minutes later and sat down next to me. “Good book?” When I nodded, she smiled. “Want to help me make supper?”

            I was surprised at her request. Since I’d come home, my mom had gotten into the habit of trying to do a lot of things for me. I knew she was only trying to help, but it annoyed me to be treated like a child. The fact that she was asking me to help her make dinner showed me that maybe she was trying to make more of an effort not to suffocate me. I used to always help her with meals, and I’d always enjoyed the strictly mother/daughter time.

            I nodded once more and her whole face lit up. “Great! I was thinking we could make lasagna, since it’s your dad’s favorite.”

            I followed her into the kitchen and we set about making dinner together. It was surprisingly easy to get back into our normal routine and I found myself relaxing and almost enjoying myself. When my dad came in he blinked a couple of times when he found me in the kitchen, but then he grinned hugely. “Something smells good,” he stated as he crossed to my mom and kissed her cheek.

             “We’re making lasagna,” she replied happily.

            “I’d better go have a shower quickly then. I don’t want to miss my favorite meal.” He left the kitchen, and my mother and I finished making supper.

            It still felt weird sitting at the table to eat without Luke there, but I was slowly getting used to it. I no longer looked around the kitchen as I sat down, half expecting him to appear around the corner.

            When I went down to see Justice later that night, I sat down in his stall with my back resting against the wall. My left leg was stretched out in front of me, and my right foot was on the ground with my knee bent. Justice was standing on my right side with his head lowered, his nose nearly touching my knee as I ran my fingers through his forelock. “I helped my mom make dinner tonight.”

            Justice sighed and lowered his head the last few inches so that his muzzle was now resting on my leg. His eyes were half closed as he obviously enjoyed my attention. “I feel guilty for trying to go on with my life without Luke here with me. I know he would want me to move on, but it feels wrong somehow. As if I’m betraying him or something.”

            I was quiet for a few minutes as I thought about it, and then I changed the subject. “My leg is getting stronger. I went for physical therapy yesterday and my therapist commented that it seemed to be getting better. I think it has to do with the fact that I’m exercising it more by coming down here at night.” I stopped petting him so I could reach forward and roll the left leg of my jeans up. I examined the mass of scars that marred the skin from my knee to my ankle. “It’s not pretty to look at, is it?” I murmured.

            Justice nudged my shoulder with his nose, so I rolled my pant leg back down and started petting him again. “You don’t care what it looks like, do you? You just want me to keep paying attention to you.” I hand my hand over his silky nose. “You know, my dad told me the other day that you aren’t performing anymore. Why is that? You always loved jumping before. I guess it’s good in a way, since it means they won’t sell you, but I think you should try and perform a little better. What would Luke think if he saw all his hard work of training you going down the drain?”

            It hit me then that I should be telling myself the same thing as well. What would Luke say if he saw the person I’d become? He’d probably scold me and then annoy me until I started making an effort again. Whenever I’d become discouraged about something before, that’s what he’d done. I’d done the same to him as well.

            I knew in my heart that Luke would be angry with me if he saw me today. But I wasn’t able to really do anything about it yet. Maybe one day I’d be strong enough to be the person I was before the accident, but I didn’t know when that day would be, if it even happened.

            With a sigh, I struggled to my feet and settled my crutches under my arms. “Life can be so hard sometimes, Justice. I don’t know how I’m going to get through the rest of it without him.” When Justice shuffled closer to me, I laid my forehead against his. “I’m so glad I have you to talk to. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

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Chapter is a little short, but a few things happen and hopefully you can understand the internal struggle Dana is having with herself. The story is a little harder to write because of all the emotion, but I'm really enjoying it. I actually think I like this one better than Love is Blind so far. What do you all think?