I retreated into myself over the next couple of days. I refused to go to school and I stopped talking once again. I remained in my room, not even leaving to get something to eat. My parents became frantic with worry, and Chase was completely bewildered by the change in my attitude. I would curl up against him when he came to see me, but I wouldn’t even talk to him.

            After three days of this, he’d finally had enough. “Damn it Dana, tell me what the hell happened!”

            My eyes snapped open in shock at the tone of his voice. So far he’d been quiet and understanding, not pushing me into anything. But now he’d obviously lost his patience. “There’s nothing to tell,” I said, my voice raspy from lack of use.

            “Bullshit. Three days ago you were perfectly fine. We had a great time with Blake and Hailey and you were happy when I left you. The next morning, you turned into a shell of a person. What happened?”

            “I had a nightmare,” I whispered.

            He rubbed my back gently. “Okay, what was it about?”

            “The crash.”

            He frowned. “I thought that’s what they were always about.” When I nodded, he laid his hand on my cheek. “What was different about it?”

            My breath hitched as I turned away from him. “I remembered something.”

            He sighed and forced me to look at him again. “What did you remember?” When I didn’t answer, he framed my face with both hands. “Dana, please tell me. This is killing me.”

            It was only then that I realized how pale he looked, and he had circles under his eyes. “The accident happened so quickly,” I said. “One minute we were driving along, and the next we had a car slamming into us. I remember Luke looking over at me just before we were hit. The look in his eyes is one I’ll always remember from now on. There was a lot of fear in them, but there was also a brief flash of determination. A moment before the car crashed into us, Luke jerked the steering wheel to the right, causing his car to veer to the side a little.” I paused and placed a hand on my leg. “If he hadn’t done that, I would’ve been killed.” I don’t know how I knew that, but I did.

            “He saved your life,” Chase said quietly.

            I was jerked back to the present by his words. “And in exchange, he lost his,” I said bitterly. “He should’ve just let the car hit us like it was supposed to. Then he’d still be alive, and I wouldn’t.”

            “You don’t mean that,” Chase said warily.

            “Yes I do. Luke was a much better person than I was. It should’ve been him that survived, not me.”

            Chase suddenly got to his feet. “I’m not going to listen to this.” He turned and left the room without another word.

            I watched him go, mildly shocked but not really able to make myself care. I curled back up on my bed and waited for sleep to take over once again.

            I didn’t see Chase again for two days. My parents had finally cajoled me into eating, but I only picked at my food. I still remained in my room for most of the time and I refused to go down to the barn. It felt like everything I’d been trying to live for no longer mattered.

            I was lying on my bed in the evening when I heard my door open and someone came in. I didn’t think anything of it until a folder was suddenly dropped in front of my face. I raised my eyes and saw Chase standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. “What’s this?” I asked.

            “Open it,” he replied.

            I sat up and pulled the folder into my lap. I opened it and my brows winged up. “A police report?”

            “Yeah, the one that was written about your accident.”

            I lifted my eyes to his again. “How did you get this?”

            “Remember the cop I told you about that found me when I was younger? Well, he pulled some strings and got this for me. Read it.”

            I set the folder down. “I don’t want to.”

            “Fine, then I’ll tell you what it says.” He sat down beside me and picked up the folder, but he didn’t open it. “It says if the car you were in had been hit completely head on, you would have been killed instantly. Since it hit at an angle, your leg was crushed, but you somehow survived.”

            “I already know that,” I said.

            He narrowed his eyes at me. “I’m not done,” he said coolly. “I talked to the officers who responded to the scene. I asked them if Luke would have survived if the car had been hit head on. You know what they said?” When I didn’t answer, he continued. “They said that there was no way he could’ve survived. The airbag on his side of the vehicle was defective and didn’t go off. The steering wheel crushed his chest, which is what killed him. If he hadn’t jerked the steering wheel at the last minute, it wouldn’t have mattered. Even if the airbag had worked, there was a ninety percent chance that he would’ve been killed because of how the car was built. The fact that you survived is a miracle, because both the officers said that you should’ve been killed as well.”

            I was quiet for a moment as I absorbed all of this. “So we would’ve both died if he hadn’t done that,” I said quietly. “I wished for that so often right after I woke up. At least then I’d be with him.”

            “So this is how you repay him? He saved your life, Dana. He somehow knew in that split second that he needed to save you. You’ve told me about the bond that the two of you always had. Do you really think he’d want you to be with him right now?”

            Tears pooled in my eyes and slowly trickled down my cheeks. “No,” I whispered. “He would want me to live.”

            Chase wrapped his arms around me and pulled me onto his lap. “Then do what he wanted you to do. Live.”

            I buried my face in his chest and sobbed quietly. It was a relief to let the emotions out that I’d kept penned up for the last five days. When I had quieted down, I raised my tearstained face up so I could look at the young man I loved. “Thank you.”

            “I love you, Dana. I’ll do anything for you.”

            “But you left me.”

            “No I didn’t. I was here for the past two days; you were always just sleeping. And it wasn’t easy getting this report for you.”

            I laid my head on his should and let out a shuddering breath. “I thought I was finally getting better when it came to thinking of Luke. Now I don’t know what to feel.”

            “You can feel however you want. But keep in mind what you think he’d want you to do with your life. I didn’t know him, but from what you’ve told me I don’t think he’d want you to mourn him forever. He’d want you to move on.”

            “How did you get so smart?” I asked him.

            He smiled and brushed my hair off my cheek. “I started hanging out with you,” he said. “You’ve made me look at life in a different way; now I’m just trying to repay the favor.”

            “Will you come down to see Justice with me?”

            “Of course. Let’s go grab our coats.”

            It was silent in the barn when we entered it, but as soon as Justice heard my cane tapping on the concrete of the aisle, he whinnied and stuck his head over the door. My heart contracted a little and I picked up the pace until I was outside at his door. “Hey boy. Did you miss me?” He snorted and pushed his head into my chest. I smiled a little and ran my fingers through his forelock. “I missed you too,” I murmured. “Sorry I kind of disappeared for a few days.”

            Chase came up behind me and slid his arms around my waist. “Are you going to take him for a ride?”

            I shook my head. “Not tonight. I’m a little weaker than usual since I haven’t been eating or doing a lot for the past little while. I’ll get my strength back up and then I’ll start riding him again.”

            “Well, do you want to give me a riding lesson then?”

            I turned to face him and looked up at his face. “Are you trying to distract me?”

            “That depends. Is it working?”

            “Yeah, it is. Let’s get Autumn tacked up for you. I want to get you to do more tonight, but I don’t think you’re ready to do it with Justice.”

            He groaned. “What am I getting myself into?”

            I ignored his grumbling and we went over to Autumn’s stall. I helped Chase get the horse ready and then we went into the arena. “Okay, I’m going to sit on the mounting block while you ride. All this walking has tired me out.”

            He stopped and turned to look at me in concern. “Are you okay?”

            “Yeah, just a little weak. I’ll be okay.” There was more meaning in those last three words than anything else I’d said that night.

            Chase sighed and stroked my cheek once before grudgingly going to the mounting block and climbing onto Autumn. “Ugh, this guy is a lot wider than Justice.”

            I grinned. “That’s because he’s part Percheron, while Justice is a Danish Warmblood. There’s a bit of a difference.”

            He gave me a dry look. “You do know that what you just said is practically gibberish to me, right?”

            I chuckled a little. “I know. Autumn and Justice are different breeds of horses. Understand?”

            “Ah, okay. So, what do I do?”

            I settled into instructor mode as Chase rode the horse around the arena. By the end, I had him trotting around a little, which I thought was a pretty big accomplishment, considering Chase had been reluctant to start riding in the first place. Once we were done with the lesson, Chase went to untack Autumn while I went back to Justice’s stall. I let myself in and put my arms around his neck.

            “Well boy, looks like we’re going to have to start training harder. I want to do well in that show so that when Luke looks down at us from heaven, he’ll be proud. That okay with you?” He sighed heavily and I smiled. “Don’t worry; I think I’ll be working harder than you. At least you have four good legs, whereas I only have one.”

            I heard Chase coming down the aisle, so I released Justice and stepped out of the stall. Chase put his arm around my waist as we started back up to the house. “You ready to start living again?” he asked.

            I looked up at the clear night sky and felt a sense of peace settle over me. “Oh yeah, I’m ready.”

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A little short, but I liked this chapter :-). It was easy and yet hard to write, if that makes sense.

Only two chapters left! Plus an epilogue, which I think you guys will like. I'm flying home tomorrow, so I won't be able to post the next chapter for a few days. I'll start writing it tonight if I get enough votes and comments, and then it should be up by Friday or Saturday. Just added incentive for you wonderful people to vote and comment!

If this is this first story of mine that you've read, then you may think I'm pushy for wanting votes. Normally I don't care about them, but since this is entered in the Watty Awards, I would like to do well. It'll be easier to get my work published eventually if I've won some awards, I think. So that's why I'm trying to bribe you guys; I'm not just being completely greedy.

Hope you enjoyed it, even though it's a little depressing at the beginning. Let me know what you thought :-)