How can I adore him so deeply and yet despise the idea of love at the same time? It feels like I'm being torn apart. People say love is beautiful, but for me, it always turns bitter. I have been broken too many times, and each time, it leaves me emptier. Am I truly undeserving of love, or am I just chasing an illusion that always escapes me?

I feel like I'm losing myself, sinking into a sea of despair. I don't want to live with this endless ache. Am I truly undeserving of love? It feels like I've lost everything my happiness, my sense of who I am. I'm just empty, like a hollow shell.

Despite believing that love is nothing but a cruel illusion, a part of me still clings to the hope that something might change. But I have learned the hard way that loving someone is not enough.