Listen to "Hold On" by Chord Overstreet

Just love this song with this chapter...
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Xaiden's POV.

My heart beating in my rib cage and my whole body was drenching in nervousness. I was waiting for Jessica to call me so I could finally meet her. I was waiting for this moment for a whole year, from the time, I left her and now I was going to see her. Finally, I would be able to hold her in my arms, to feel her presence against my existence, to promise her once again that I would never let her go.

"Xaiden! Now is your chance. Go to my room." Jessica came inside the guest room where I was waiting for this time. She was grinning at me and simply nodding, I stood up. My nerves were all running with excitement and nervousness. My breath was already fastened by the thought of seeing her.

Taking long strides, I went to her room. I stood in front of the closed room and closing my eyes, I let out a deep breath. I sighed and turning the doorknob, opened the door. I stepped in and closed the door gently. She must have noticed that someone had come as she placed the book on the shelf.

"Sorry. You were gone so I decided to read some-" She turned and once her eyes met with mine, that beautiful smile disappeared from her lips and her words cut off mid-sentence.

She was standing there looking pretty as always. Her blonde hair shining under the sun rays and her beautiful emerald eyes staring in mine as if not believing, that she was seeing me, standing in front of her. The next moment, she averted her eyes and with that my heart sank in the pit of despair. She closed her eyes and I looked at her as she clenched her hands and then let out deep breaths. She didn't move and I was yearning to hold her. I stepped forward and she didn't move. I took another step and now I was standing close to her. Just one step and I would be able to hold her.

Before I could hold her, she turned to the side and headed away from me. She moved towards the door and my heart clenched by seeing her go. My heart bled thinking and seeing that she was going to leave me again. Last time, I was the one who left her but now she was leaving me and I can't see that. I cannot live now without her. As she took another step towards the door, my hand at once caught hers.

"Ella!"

She sucked in a deep breath as I simply called her name. Her back facing towards me and I couldn't see the expression on her face but I could hear her fastened breaths. She tried to wriggle her hand free but I hardened my grip. I was not letting her go, not this time, not again.

"Ella!" I whispered her name again but she didn't turn. She continuously tried to free her hand from me but I refused to let it go. I was not going to let her hand go again. I was going to hold her hand this time, no matter through what we had to go through but I would not let it go again.

"Please, listen to me. One last time." I begged but she didn't utter a single word, she didn't move. She stood there silent and numb. I bit my lower lip to ease my drowning heart. Her silence, her cold shoulder was killing me. This cold shoulder was worse than the time when I first met her. This behaviour of hers was worse than the time when I first tried to be her friend. This cold shoulder of her was the most hurtful one. It hurts deep seeing her like this.

"Ella! I am sorry. Please, don't leave me." I mumbled hoping that she might say something to me this time but she didn't. The only thing she did was to slightly shake her head. My body went weak by just assuming that she might never forgive me again and this thought was like a deep wound in my soul. The thought that she would leave me and won't come back was the cruellest pain.

"El-"

"I hate you. Let me go," She slightly whispered. Her voice holding bitterness and my breaths followed by my body got trembled by her words. Her words made my worst nightmare alive. I feared the most that she might hate me after this whole year but I would shake it away and now it was coming to life.

"Ella!" I called her name once again, wanting to hold her, wanting to beg for forgiveness and to not leave me.

"Xaiden! Leave me. For you, Ella died. Let me go!" My eyes widen at her sour words. Her every word stabbing my heart as a deep pain ran throughout my body. She whispered each and every word clearly for me to understand.

For you, Ella died...

Her words hurting me deep and my whole body drenched in fear. The biggest fear was turning true and my world was crumbling by her words. She wanted me to let her go but I couldn't do so. I didn't want to.

"No. Pleases... listen to me... give me a chance..." my lips quivered and I would have never felt this helpless in my whole life. She was making me feel weak and I was at her mercy. Still, I wanted her to listen to me and never leave me. "El! I love you... please..."

"Xaiden! I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you." She continued saying those words piercing me deep in my heart with her hateful words.

I closed my eyes as tears threatened to escape them, and took deep breaths. She wriggled her hand to set it free and I let it go. My own body making me weaker and weaker. My hand at once went cold and I clenched it tighter. I stood still feeling defeated. My heart getting heavier and heavier by this feeling and my body aching with pain. This emotional pain was worse than the physical ones because they were cutting my soul deep. They weren't just making my body suffer but were hurting my soul too.

I looked forward and my vision blurry. I saw her delicate body standing in front of me moving towards the door. Her back facing towards me, her steps moving away from me. No! I screamed. Don't leave me. I begged. But she didn't stop, she didn't hear.

At once, I stepped forward and engulfed her in my arms. Before she could leave me forever, I stopped her. I couldn't let go. My arms encircling her from behind stopping her on mid-way. "Ella!" I whispered her name in her ear and she sucked in a deep breath. "Please, just listen to me. I'm sorry for leaving you... I... I shouldn't have..."

"Xaiden! I don't need you. I don't want you. I hate you. You left me then. I'll leave you now. Let me go!" She said those words furiously this time. She wiggled herself trying to free from my hold but I didn't move. I was not going to leave her again.

"El-"

"I told you! I don't want anything from you. I don't want to. If you still love me then let me go!"

And there, she made me weaker as my arms went weak and she escaped from between them. I heard the door open and then clicked back to being closed.

"El..." My voice broke as I didn't notice the tears rolling down my cheek. My cheeks wet and I touched my face to see I was crying. I looked up to see no one standing there. The emptiness of the room engulfing me and I was left alone. She left me alone.

"Ella!" I shouted her name as my knees went weak and my whole body slumped to the ground. I fell on my knees on the carpeted floor feeling helpless and so broken. I looked at my both trembling hand. The hands which once held Ella. I failed on getting her back. Tears continued to cascade down my cheek and for the first time in my life, I completely felt lost and torn apart. For the first time, I felt like now I had no reason to live. For the first time, I felt that now I had no reason, no aim, no light. I was left in the dark tunnel with a dead end, and now there was no light for me to pull me out.

Ella's POV.

I escaped from his arm and the next moment, I stepped out of the room. I didn't dare to look back, I didn't dare to see his face despite the abnormal beating of my heart, despite the urge of looking in his eyes, I remained true to my self and my words. I don't know how I managed to say those words but I did say them.

For you, Ella died.

It hurt saying those words along with every single one that I spoke and my heart clenched. Why did I even say those words? I guess... I was insecure and afraid that he will leave me again like before. It's true I hated him. I hated him a lot. He left me when I needed him the most and he will leave me and won't return again. My knees weakened and I fell to my knees on the floor. My back against the door as my head rested against the door. I brought my knees closer to my chest as tears stream down my cheek.

"Xaiden! Why do you have to come back?" I whispered as my lips quivered.

Why?

Why he had to come back?

It hurt seeing him...

But it hurt more that my heart again accelerated by hearing his voice and my body shuddered by his light touch and when he held me in his arms... I never knew I had missed his warmth this much. I couldn't believe that he still has the same effect on me like before. This means I hadn't forgotten him completely. But why haven't I forgotten him? I hate me. I should have hated him and here I was missing him. Why?

Because you still love him.

No! I don't. My love had long gone.

He hadn't gone. He came here for you...

No! He does not! He doesn't love me! He's a lie!

I shut close my eyes to block out the voices inside my head. My mind was screaming at me to go back to him, to hold him but my fear holding me back.

He'll leave me again...

"Ella!" I heard him shouting my name. and my body at once jerked up. I sensed hurt in his voice and knowing that I was the reason behind it made my heart clench. But I stayed put to my seat. I closed my ears to not hear his words, to block his voice calling my name. I closed my eyes covering both my ears with my hands. I didn't want to listen to him. His voice sounded weak and it was making me weak.

"Ella! I... I'm sorry..." I had my ears covered but still, I could hear him. Why? I don't want to listen to him.

"El... Ella..." he called again and again saying my name. He was making my heart break into a thousand pieces. I hated how he was making me feel. I hate it. My eyes still closed and moments turned to seconds and seconds to minutes, but it remained silent. He didn't call my name again. Silence was engulfing me. I should have been glad but this made me worried. Did something happen to him? Was he ok? Why he went silent all of sudden? Xaiden!

Before I could comprehend what to do, I get up on my feet on my own accord and opening the door went in. My eyes landed on him sitting numbly on the carpeted floor as his head hung low. This was the first time I was seeing him like that and seeing this was making my heart twist in pain. I was the reason behind it. He seemed lifeless.

"Xaiden!" I called his name and rushing to him, I sat on the carpeted floor beside him. I took his face in my hands and lift it up. My eyes met his lifeless one. His grey eyes filled with tears and dry tears stained on his cheeks. This was the first time I was seeing him cry. I would have never imagined that such a strong boy would ever cry and now seeing him like this was the worst kind of pain for me.

"Ella! I am s-sorry. I am sorry. I am sorry, Ella, " he said those words again and again as those tears rolling down his cheeks. My heart clenching on seeing him cry. I never wanted to hurt him, all I wanted was to prevent him and me to again suffer the pain and hurt. I wanted us to forget it but I guess I was wrong. We couldn't forget each other because we were already gone too far. I wanted to force myself to forget him, to leave him, to make him leave me. But I failed... Seeing him like this hurt me. I guess I was indeed wrong.

Our hearts were already moulded in one. We might be apart for almost a year but still, my heart beats for him and his for me.

I still love him...

I climb up on his laps and wrapping my arms around him, I rested my head on his shoulder. His hand at once went around mine as he held me tighter afraid that I might vanish in thin air. His hand clenched my shirt, grabbing me tighter as I tightened my hold around him. He nuzzled his head in my neck as I caressed his back. We stayed like this for some time, holding each other. After one year, I was again in his arms. Once again, he was here with me.

"Ella!" He whispered as his head on my shoulder and mine on his.

"Yes?"

"Don't leave me," he whispered and my heart flipped. He lifted his head and then buried it against my chest as I held on to him tightly.

"I won't," I whispered and closed my eyes, resting my head on him. My breathing in rhythm with his and we both stayed still. Our breathing could be heard in this silent room. I stayed there still seated on his lap and he stayed there still holding me. I thought I could escape him but I was wrong. I couldn't escape him because he was my existence from that time and I won't be leaving him.

He drew back and I lifted my head. He looked in my eyes as I looked in his. Our eyes staring into each other. Green against the grey. His cheeks stained from dry tears and he looked so afraid like a child. He looked vulnerable as if he was afraid of losing something.

"Ella! I am sorry," he again whispered and a sweet smile took its place on my lips. I held her face in my hands and wiped the tear rolling down his cheek and I simply nodded indicating that I had forgiven him.

"I won't leave you again. I still love you. I love you so much," he whispered and holding my hand from his face, he kissed the palm of my hand. My heart fluttered by hearing those words after a year. I had almost forgotten how it feels like to hear those words from someone you love. I had forgotten this immense feeling and now he made it alive. A sweet smile on my lips as I bit my lower lip.

"Ella! I am s-" Before he could complete his those words again, I drew closer and leaning my face, kissed him on his lips. It was just a sweet peck showing him that he was still alive in my heart. I had forgotten how his lips tasted like and now I remember that they tasted like a sweet fruit from heaven.

"I forgive you. Just don't leave me again," I whispered staring his surprised eyes and I drew back.

"I won't. I promise, " he whispered and I simply nodded, a smile on his lips. It was getting awkward for me so I decided to stand up from his lap. As I stood up, he held my arm and I looked at him. A sly smile on his angelic face and I realized how much I had missed his heart tantalizing smile. He at once pulled me down again and I let out a gasp.

"Xai-" My words got cut mid-sentence as his lips captured mine and my stomach twisted. My heart skipped a beat and I stared in surprise. He was such an amazing kisser and I don't know how much I had missed those lips. His lips moved in synchronize with mine and my eyes fluttered close. My lips moved against his on its own accord and my hand went around her neck as his arms holding me. The kiss deepened and now I knew that it was true...

I had missed him so much...

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Love you all!
Anna ❤