Ella's POV.

"And that's how I reacted. Gosh! I don't know what to do now!" I frowned as Jess and Sara looked at me mouth agape.

I had told them about that little scene...

Nope not little... I'd admit.

A huge wrecking scene of yesterday.

I told them how I was just an inch apart from getting my first kiss and how I ended up overreacting. And now... How I was trying my best to avoid him although my heart was tearing apart due to hurt and pain.

How he searched for me and I hid from him. How he called my name and I ignored him. How he looked at me and I just shrugged him off.

Why it pain so much?

Was I such a bad person?

"Ella! You shouldn't have..." Sara sighed, looking at me with sadness and I bowed my head, hiding my face in my blonde hair.

"El! You should give him a chance... I think he really likes you. And... What are you afraid of!" Jess held my hand and I looked at him with sorrowful eyes.

I heaved a long sigh and thought for a moment.

Could I let him in my life? Would I be able to keep my real self far away from him? Would I be able to keep him safe?

No! I don't think so...

"Ella! Stop with your thinking... I would advise you to give him a chance. He is really a nice guy..." Sara looked at me with warm eyes as she gave me a smile.

He was a nice guy. He was a gentleman. But me...

I was a devil... My real existence was that of a beast... My life was full of lies... My life itself was a lie.

I couldn't hurt him...

"Ella! What is exactly disturbing you? Why are you so agitated? Why are you afraid? And why are you punishing that poor boy?"

Punishing him?

I looked at Jessica and although my heart was bleeding and crying on my fate, I gave her a crooked smile.

I wished I could tell them... I wished I had never met him... I wished I had never been born.

I wished...

"I'll think about it." I decided to leave them because they were just going to encourage me. They were just going to say that I should give a chance...

But I couldn't...

I headed towards the library to clear my head out. All different types of emotions, all feelings were messed up. I was confused.

I needed to forget all of this.

I brought my books closer to my chest and with my head hung low, I entered the library with slow steps.

I slumped myself on the soft couch and brought my head in my hands as I raked my hands through my hair. I wanted to just scream. I wanted to end all of it.

Urgh!!!! Where I had gotten myself into!!!

Xaiden! Why you had to just come in my life? Why me?

Tears welled up in my eyes as his disappointed, shattered expressions from earlier came flashing in my mind. Why was it hurting so much? Why was I feeling this pain?

I dug my head down, hiding it in my blonde hair and let my tears fall, crying at my own destiny. I cried on my fate. For falling for someone, for wishing for it, for feeling the warmth in my heart for the first time. I cried feeling helpless and it hurt knowing that I could never get this someone.

He could never be mine...

We were not meant to be together... He was playing with fire, he was following his own death and I couldn't just let him fall in that death hole.

I hiccupped as tears continued to roll down my eyes. My heart constricting in my ribs as I felt a sharp pain in my chest. I gasped for air but my lungs not helping me.

I stood up and went to the open window, trying to bring my breathing to normal. I inhaled and exhaled deep breaths, trying to compose myself.

After a moment, I was finally able to breathe. My lecture had started but I wasn't in a mood to attend it. My mind was still pondering from all those questions and how to get them out of my mind.

I heaved a long sigh and rubbed my arms.

"Xaiden! What are you doing to me?" I whispered to myself as I looked outside the window. The wind blowing, making my hair fall on my face.

"The same thing you are doing to me."

My breath hinged as I heard his voice. My heart ceased to beat as I was hoping, please let it be my mind game. Don't let it be him.

Afraid that my mind was wrong and he was actually behind me, I decided not to turn my head to see him. My cheeks stained with dry tears and my heart was already weak.

This wasn't supposed to be like this. This weak being shouldn't have been me. I was a Mafia princess and Mafia princess wasn't supposed to waver or weaken a bit. She was meant to be strong, dauntless and ruthless.

But he cracked me, he weakened me. He made me an emotional wreck, a vulnerable cry girl. He weakened my heart, my strength, my pride.

Why was I such a pathetic loser?

"Ella! Please look at me. Why are you punishing me? What have I done?" Xaiden voice was making me lose my senses, making me lose the little bit of strength I was having.

So, I refused to listen to him.

Without glancing back I headed towards the opposite of where he was. My eyes not even daring to look at him. Because I knew if for once, just for one second... If my eyes met his... I'd be done for. I'll end up cracking down into pieces and into a mess.

"Ella! Enough with it!" He yelled making me flinch as he grabbed my wrist making me turn towards him.

As soon as my eyes met with his, my guard went breaking down as my lips started quivering. I swallow up my cry still, trying to be strong.

"Leave me alone... I... I can't... I just can't h-hurt you." I mumbled as a heavy lump in my throat. I closed my eyes to avoid his hypnotizing stare.

"Ella! Please! Stop it. You are hurting me. You are hurting me right now. Can't you see it?" His voice seemed broken and his words ripping my already weakened heart.

"Ella! I... Look I may not deserve you... I may not be good for you... I am a demon and I have no right to be with an angel like you..." He paused and I kept my eyes closed as my heart was pounding faster.

A demon? Him? No way... He was an angel... It was me who was a demon... A beast... My whole existence was a facade... A mysterious one.

"I don't deserve someone this pure. I might not be the best choice for you... I might not be even meant for you. But still, I cannot leave you. Call me selfish, greedy or whatever you want... But," he paused, "I told you once and I'll say twice. I won't leave you. So, don't make it hard for yourself and for me too."

I felt his warm hand on my cheek as his gentle touch wiped my close eyelids. My breath stuck in my throat and I was not moving an inch. I just wanted to hide myself, my true self. But, I also wanted him to hold me and never let me go.

I wished dreams could come true! But dreams were never meant to be real. That's why they were called dreams.

"But, Ella Anderson!" He called my name. My full name and I sucked in a breath. I felt him holding my face gently in his both hands. 

"I love you. And I just want you to be my side."

And there, everything ended. All finished. The end. My heart ceased to beat and my mind blank.

My life just ended...

This was exactly what I was afraid of. Three Words, Eight letters. I knew deep down that if this terrified yet beautiful dream of mine became a reality, it would end me.

And now it just did.

"El! Please open your eyes." He begged and I slightly opened my eyes meeting his grey ones.

"Xai-" I sobbed and fresh tears rolled down my eyes.

I couldn't face him like this anymore...

I couldn't ignore him now.

He cracked my guard, broke my wall and captured my heart, my soul, and my mind.

Why he had to love me? Why my heart had to fall for anyone? Why love was like this?

I couldn't do anything now. I was hopeless! I couldn't force myself now... I give up!

"Ella! Give me a chance. One chance... I promise you. I'll protect you from your fears, I'll keep you safe. I promise." He kissed my forehead as I felt my muscle relaxed and his mere touch giving me a feeling of security.

I felt relaxed...

I closed my eyes enjoying his warm lips on my forehead as I slightly nodded, unconsciously.

One chance...

Either this would break me or become my strength...

Either this would end me or would make me live.

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