Word of the day: wǒ de tiān (我的天)

Literal translation: My sky / day / heaven / god

Definition: Common exclamation to express strong emotion. The Chinese equivalent of "Oh my god!"

Other relevant terms: tiān a! (天啊) - a shorter version of wǒ de tiān.

*******

Jisen jumped back as drops of milk tea went flying in the air. "Tiān a!  Yiwen, what are you doing?"

"Ah, I'm really sorry!" Wang Yiwen pulled out a tissue from the plastic bag she had with her and handed it to Jisen.

While Jisen dealt with the damage on his khaki pants and white shoes, Zi'an inched closer. The brush strokes in his mind worked overtime to paint this new picture of her. With her face devoid of any makeup, she looked guileless and far-removed from the woman he had met the other night. That woman was a doll in a sealed box. The one in front of him was more like a neighborhood sister. He liked the contrast.

Their eyes met over Jisen's bowed back.

"Were you that surprised to see me?" Jisen asked, straightening up. "Look at you. You look like you've seen a ghost."

Wang Yiwen pulled her gaze away from Zi'an. "I'm really sorry, Jisen. The, um, the cup just slipped out of my hand."

"Really?" Jisen picked the cup from where it landed, avoiding the liquid that still dripped from it. "Hey, Zi'an, maybe we should find a way to make these cups easier to hold. I think that's a good product idea."

"Oh, yeah, sure."

Zi'an forced himself to look at his friend, yet like a rubber band, his eyes snapped back to hers.

"Ugh, this is disgusting. Hang on, let me throw this cup away."

Neither Wang Yiwen nor Li Zi'an said a word in reply. Once Jisen was out of earshot, they both spoke at once.

"I..."

"Ji--"

Then, fell back into silence.

"So... I didn't expect to see you here," Zi'an said, after a while.

She stood, a brittle laugh escaping her lips. "Me too. I didn't expect to see you here, either. What a coincidence, huh?"

"Yeah. I'm happy to see you, though."

Zi'an watched as she tucked wisps of her hair behind her delicate ears. When the delicate shells turned pink, he held back a smile, moving his eyes back to her face in time to see tiny dimples reappearing on the edges of her lips.

"I'm not sure if I can say the same thing about you," she said.

"Still mad?"

She shook her head, then tugged at her clothes. "I look like cowshit."

"Actually, I like this look. You'd fit right in with those aunties dancing over there." He pointed his hand towards a group of middle-aged women a few feet away, grooving to the sound of popular music blasting from portable speakers.

"So you're saying I look like an aunty?"

"A very pretty one."

She glared at him.

He chuckled.

"Looks like you two are having fun," Jisen said, finally back from wherever he went.

Wang Yiwen crossed her arms over her chest. "This kid just called me an aunty."

"You are an aunty. Have you forgotten your darling niece?"

"Don't bring your sister's child into this."

"I'm just bringing up a fact," Jisen said. "By the way, why are you dressed like a highlighter pen today? Neon pink and blue?"

Wang Yiwen shoved Jisen. "It's a Sunday, okay! And this is practically my backyard."

"You live near here?" Zi'an asked.

"Yeah, she lives over there," Jisen answered, pointing towards a row of residential buildings in the same direction as the dumpling restaurant.

"Why are you answering on her behalf?"

"I'm just being helpful!"

"You're not," Wang Yiwen said.

"What the--- why are you two ganging up on me?"

"We're not," Li Zi'an and Wang Yiwen said in unison.

"Wait a moment..." Jisen gave him and Wang Yiwen an assessing look. "Oh, I see."

"What do you see?" asked Zi'an.

"I get it. I can tell when I'm no longer needed."

Wang Yiwen frowned. "What do you mean?"

Jisen gave them both a knowing smile. "I gotta go or I'm gonna be late for a family gathering."

"Wait--"

Before Zi'an could complete his sentence, Jisen had taken off on a run, waving his hands in the air as he went.

"Crazy man," Wang Yiwen mumbled.

Zi'an could only shake his head and laugh. He was glad this time, his usually oblivious friend, managed to read the room.

"Well," Wang Yiwen said, grabbing the plastic bag from the bench, "I gotta go, too. I'm meeting a friend in a bit."

"Oh, okay."

The weight of disappointment settled in his gut.

"Yeah, so all right, then. I'm leaving."

"Wait!"

She raised her eyebrows.

"Since you dropped your milk tea, will you let me buy you another one next time?"

"Is this another favor you owe Jisen?"

"No. It's just me wanting to see you again."

She scanned his face. Zi'an offered a tentative smile.

"Tell you what," she said,  "if we ever bump into each other again, I'll let you buy me one."

"Can't we just set a time and place?"

"Nope. This is all about luck."

"All right, then. I'll make my own luck."

She grinned, then started walking away. "Good luck."

*******

Out of everyone in this city, why did she have to bump into him? And why now of all days? She knew she should have at least taken a shower before she left home that morning, but she'd been too sleep-deprived to care. Last night had been hellish, with her thoughts continuously taunting her with words and images that cut deep. By dawn, she had finally shut down, only to be awakened a mere few hours later by the sound of someone drilling a hole somewhere. There was always that one neighbor who was tripping over a power drill.

He looked good, though, she mused.

While the noon sun cast a harsh light on everyone else's flaws, it highlighted the perfection of Li Zi'an's features. Yiwen pushed her apartment door open and kicked off her sneakers by the foyer. She caught her reflection on the full-length mirror by the door.

Yup, she looked like hell.

How did he manage to keep a straight face when he called her pretty?

That man must be blind. Stretching her hands above her head, she padded towards the living room and on the way, stumbled on a pair of pants she'd dumped on the floor. She picked it up and looked around. Pieces of clothing were scattered everywhere. There were more shoes on the floor than on the shoe rack by the door. Meanwhile, piles of paper, assorted takeaway containers, and shopping bags can be spotted in every corner.

"Wǒ de tiān! How did it get so bad?" Yiwen groaned.

She knew how, though.

After the breakup, the perfect life she had built also crumbled a piece at a time until all she was left with was rubble. She'd always known perfection was such a fragile thing. It needed constant attention lest it suddenly cracked. She'd struggled to maintain it all her life. The one time she stopped making an effort, it all came tumbling down.

Sighing, Yiwen walked to the kitchen and grabbed a garbage bag.

She needed to clean before Vira arrived.

Vira Hunt was her colleague. While Yiwen was in-charge of public relations, Vira headed the marketing department. After three years of working on the same projects, their relationship had grown beyond the office.

Bag in hand, Yiwen then went back to the living room and docked her phone into the speakers. After pressing play, a raspy voice blared out, spitting aggressive rap. She bopped her head and began cleaning.

"What do we have here?"

Underneath a mountain of used clothes, she discovered a pile of forgotten and unopened shopping bags. They were spoils from the retail therapy she had indulged in after her breakup but dumped into a corner as soon as she got home. She picked up one of the receipts and gasped.

"Did I really spend this much? I must have been out of my mind."

Shaking her head, she gathered all her new clothes and dumped them on her bed. She'd deal with those later.

It took more than an hour to transform her apartment from pigsty to Ikea showcase. After giving the throw pillows on her couch one last tweak, she loaded her washing machine, threw in her sweaty clothes, then took a quick shower. Later, she picked a slip dress from her newly rediscovered haul, then wore it. While she was drying her hair, the doorbell rang.

"Hang on," she shouted.

Rushing to the door, she pulled it open and was engulfed in a lilac-scented hug.

"Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry I wasn't here for you," Vira said in perfect Mandarin. After studying in one of Beijing's most prestigious universities and living in China for a decade, she spoke the language like a local.

Yiwen hugged her back then pulled away. "It's okay, my dear. You were on your honeymoon so you get a pass. How was it, by the way? Did you enjoy your trip back to the US?"

"It was great! I have lots of stories to share, but let's not talk about me today. Here," Vira held out a bag from Häagen-Dazs, "I figured we can eat some ice-cream while you tell me about what happened."

Yiwen beamed. "Creme Brûlée and Dulce de Leche? I love you, baby!"

"I know you do. Now tell me all about what happened."

"Wait, let me grab a bottle of wine. I'm gonna need it."

"Grab some spoons too, will you?"

Yiwen ran to the kitchen. When she returned, Vira had already settled on the couch and placed the ice cream pints on the coffee table. Yiwen settled next to her, placing the tray she carried next to the ice cream. "Remember I told you I wanted to surprise Wu Chen for our tenth anniversary?"

Vira nodded while she poured out the wine. "Weren't you in Paris, then?"

"Yeah, I told Chen I wouldn't be back for our tenth anniversary, but I actually booked an earlier flight home so I wouldn't miss it." Yiwen picked up a spoon and started working on the Creme Brûlée-flavored ice cream. "I even bought a new set of La Perla lingerie for the surprise."

"I think you sent me a photo," Vira said, sipping on her wine and handing Yiwen her glass.

Yiwen took it and swallowed a mouthful of burgundy liquid. "That's right. It's the black babydoll with matching thongs from their summer collection. So anyway, as soon as I got to the airport, I rushed home to shower and change. I was so jetlagged, but I drove myself to his apartment."

Vira made consoling noises.

Yiwen went on. "When I got there, I saw clothes all over the floor. Not unusual because Wu Chen's a slob, but then I found a lacy red thong."

"Oh no." Vira grimaced.

Yiwen still remembered her shock, followed by denial, then anger as the slip of lace dangled from her finger.

"Then, I heard noises coming from the bedroom. I already knew what was happening, but even then, I kept making excuses. I thought what if he was just watching porn or what if he'd lent his apartment to a friend?"

A familiar gnawing ache spread across her chest. Yiwen drank more wine to ease it, then held out her empty glass to Vira. Her friend quietly filled it. She took another sip.

"I should have left then," Yiwen continued. "But I wanted to see it for myself. Just to be sure. Just in case I was mistaken. And then... and then..."

The image was forever burned in her mind. The man she had loved for so long making love to a woman who wasn't her on the bed where they lay a hundred nights whispering promises of forever. A tear slipped down her cheek.

Yiwen felt a cool hand on her arm. She looked up and found Vira's worried gaze.

"You don't have to go through this again," her friend said. "I'm sorry I asked."

Yiwen swiped the tear away with the back of her hand. Another fell down. "I've relived this tale a thousand times. I don't know why I still hurt."

"Here." Vira handed her a tissue.

She took it and blew her nose.

"It's because you genuinely loved him and in the process, you'd sewn him into the fabric of your life. Of course, it hurts when you have to rip out such an important piece of yourself. Wounds like that take time to heal. But you will heal. I believe it." Vira wrapped an arm around her and gave her a squeeze. "Did you get a chance to talk to him after?"

Yiwen laid her head on her friend's shoulder and took another sip of alcohol. "Yeah, we did. The day after, he went to my apartment, told me he was sorry, and asked me to give him another chance. I refused. I was angry."

"As you should be."

"But he got angry, too. He said it was my fault because I was always away. Then he said if I wanted it to be like this, then so be it. So that's how it ended. Ten years... gone in an instant."

"Seriously? What a first-class asshole. He had the gall to act like it was your fault?"

"Yeah... but sometimes I wonder if it was really my fault? Maybe I made him wait too long. My mother kept telling us to get married but I didn't want to because I was too engrossed with building up my career. He must have been unhappy."

"It's not your fault," Vira said firmly. "Cheating is cheating. There's no excuse for it. If he was unhappy with the relationship, then he should have told you instead of fucking another woman. How does that solve anything?"

"You're right."

Vira patted her head. "So cut yourself some slack. Cry if you want to. Be angry. You have every right to be. Let yourself grieve. Before you know it, you'll wake up and realize you've moved on."

Pulling away, Yiwen gave her friend a wistful smile. "Thank you, Vira."

"You're welcome, my dear. Always." Vira picked up her own glass from the coffee table. "Now shall we raise a toast to healing and moving on?"

Yiwen nodded and clinked her glass against her friend's. "To healing and moving on."