I took my seat in between Max and Tom, looking at the empty seat opposite me, knowing that's where Nathan was going to be sitting for the rest of the night and I was going to have to look at him with a fake smile on my face.

I really wasn't in the mood for something like that and I couldn't be bothered with it either, I just wanted to get this meal out of the way and then I wanted to go back to the hotel room; and remain in hiding there for the rest of the tour.

"Are you alright?" Max asked with a concerned look on his face.

"Yeah, I'm great." I replied with a fake smile on my face.

If there was one thing I was good at, then it was putting a fake smile on my face and making people believe I was completely fine when, on the inside, I was falling apart and wanting to cry more than anything; but no one would ever question me.

Well, no one other than Max because he was the only one who could see through my façade.

"Now tell me the truth Jess. Are you alright?" Max repeated with the same look on his face.

"No. I'm probably as far away from 'alright' as you'll ever get." I sighed as Max wrapped his arm around my shoulder and embraced me in a hug, which earned me a look from Kev at the other end of the table.

He had warned me before about Max and had told me to stay away from him; in fact, he had strictly forbidden me from having any kind of relationship with any of the boys and he had made it clear that I was to keep clear of all the boys in that sense - but he had no idea just how wrong he was about which one of them I was involved with, especially since he was convinced that Nathan hated me and we weren't even on talking terms, unless there was no other choice.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Max asked.

"Not here. I'll tell you after we've eaten." I half-smiled as Nathan took the seat opposite me and continued to smile at me.

I had given him hope that we were going to be together, but it wasn't going to happen because we were just too different from each other and there was nothing that guaranteed we would ever stay together; we would fall apart in the space of ten minutes because of how completely different we were to each other.

He was somebody and I was nobody.

That's how different we were to each other, and that's how I know it was never going to work out for us.

"OK then." Max answered, releasing me from the hug which he held me in and went back to looking at the menu he was previously looking at, deciding what he wanted to eat and what he wanted to drink with it as well. But, knowing Max, he would probably order something alcoholic to drink and he would make it last for about five seconds before he was ordering his next drink.

*

"That was the best thing I've ever eaten." Tom said with a massive grin on his face, pushing his empty plate away from him and into the middle of the table.

"I second that. We need to come here again before we leave." Siva laughed and looked down the table at the two rows od people now laughing at both him and Tom.

"Yeah. It was pretty good." I added, but they all looked at me with a weird look when they saw I had eaten practically nothing and was just pushing a plate full off food away from me. "I'm just not that hungry."

"But you've hardly eaten what you've got?" Jay pointed out, although it came out as more of a question than a remark, like he was expecting me to give him an explanation as to why I haven't eaten every single thing in front of me.

"Like I said, I'm just not that hungry." I shrugged.

"Are you sure you're not going to eat any more of it?" Tom questioned.

"Yes Parker, I'm sure I don't want to eat more. Besides, there's a restaurant in the hotel if I get hungry later." I laughed, not really seeing what the big deal was anyway.

I had too much on my mind to think about if I was going to finish all of the food that was in front of me; I was far more concerned with how I was going to tell Nathan there was no chance of us ever getting together and it'll be better for the both of us if he just moves on and forgets about me completely.

I also need to tell the boys that, when we get back to the UK, I am going to be leaving and I am going to move on with me life. I can't spend my entire career as a Personal Assistant to The Wanted, no matter how amazing the job was and how much I loved it.

"I thought you were coming out with us though?" Tom replied.

"I'm not really in the mood now. I just want to go back to the hotel room and catch up on some sleep." I smiled, attempting to get them off my back and get them to leave me alone.

"Guess you and Sykes can keep other warm then, can't you?" Jay joked and I just laughed along with the others as he was clueless about what had gone on between me and Nathan, and just how on edge our 'relationship' actually was.

"I'm going out for a smoke. Anyone coming?" I said, quickly changing the subject.

"You don't smoke though?" Nathan spoke up out of the blue, clearly confused by what I had just said.

"There's a lot you don't know about me. I do indeed smoke and have done ever since I started working for you." I replied.

Before I started working for The Wanted, I used to smoke a couple of times a day, but it soon turned into more when the hours I worked got longer and I started going places with both Max and Tom; they were smoking and it was constantly making me crave a cigarette.

Now I smoke up to ten a day, finding a reason to disappear whenever I wanted one because I didn't want any of them to know that I did smoke - I was amazing at hiding secrets and keeping things from the boys that I didn't want them to know about.

"You kept that one quiet then, didn't you?" Siva replied, obviously shocked by this revelation.

"Like I just said, there's a lot you don't know about me. Anyway, anyone else coming out with me?" I repeated myself, not wanting to stand here and go through my life story with these boys.

"Yeah. I'll come out with you." Max smiled as he stood up and threw his jacket on to keep the growing cold off his skin, but Tom just shook his head and went back to his conversation with Nathan and Siva about something which was, no doubt, totally boring and of no interest to anyone other than himself. "So, what's wrong with you then?" Max asked as soon as we had step foot out of the restaurant, being greeted by nothing other than the cold air and silence around us.

"Nathan told me that he loved me, only to tell me that his girlfriend wasn't actually his girlfriend, he had been forced to go out with her because I was too reckless and dangerous to be seen in public with Nathan." I replied as I took a puff of my cigarette, making it last longer than I should have done because, after the day I've had, it was something I felt I thoroughly deserved.

"And tell me the rest...." Max said, giving me the same look he always gave me when he knew I was lying and wasn't telling him the entire story.

"He told me that he didn't care about management, he just wanted to be with me; even after I had rejected him and told him it was never going to happen. He said it's only a matter of time before we end up together because we both the same way as each other." I sighed, looking at Max as I took another drag and breathed it out pretty much straight away; watching it mix with the cold air around us.

"And, did you mean it? Do you really not want to be with him?" Max questioned.

"No, I can't be with him, we're not good for each other and we're too different to ever make it work."

"Then you need to tell him that and hope he gets the message." Max said, making it sound like it was the easiest thing in the world to do.

"He won't get the message and he won't leave me alone until he gets what he wants. That's why, when we get back to the UK, I'm leaving and I'm moving on with my life." I said much to the shock and disappointment of Max because he had no idea that's what I was going to say, and it's almost like he wasn't sure how he was supposed to stop me from leaving.

"We'll miss you Jess. It wouldn't be the same without you around." Max said.

"It would cause too many problems if I stayed, and Kev already thinks I'm sleeping with you." I chuckled.

"Yeah, I know he does. He's told me more than once to stay away from you, and he gets annoyed with me when I refuse to stay away." Max laughed back at me, making me smile slightly because it's just like I knew him to be.

"I'll miss you. I'll miss you all. But I need to move on, and it might make it easier for Nathan to accept that we're never going to be together." I reasoned with him, and he just pulled me into a hug and whispered;

"You had better come and see me then? I want to know everything, including if you ever find a boyfriend." Max laughed as I hugged him back.

"You won't be able to get rid off me, you're my bestfriend and I'd be nothing without you. Although, I think it will be you coming to see me because the job I want to go for is out here. In America."

"What? You're going to be all the way over here?" Max asked, suddenly sounding sad and the realisation of how serious I was about leaving actually set in, hitting him that he wasn't going to be able to see me every single day and he wasn't going to be able to give me a hug when either of us had had a bad day.

"I'm sorry Max. The further the better." I sighed.

"Am I hearing this right?" someone said, causing both me and Max to turn around, and we weren't really surprised by who we saw stood there.

Nathan.