"Amma? Amma? Have you seen the portable fan here? Why is this place so clean? Ammmaaaaa!"

"What's the matter Sanju? What is all this ruckus about?" Devika called out from the cramped kitchen where she spent quality time catering to their needs.

"Who asked you to clean this section? I can't find so many things here," Sanjay whined in exasperation. He took pains to convert the balcony into his workplace. He spent endless amounts of time there. It was his haven, his nest, his place of worship and everything in between. It was a small place where only a person fit and buzzed with a few stray mosquitoes in the evening.

Sanjay and his family lived in a one-BHK (Bedroom-Hall-Kitchen) apartment in a gated community, located in a decent neighbourhood. At the least, the roof over their heads was theirs'. That was what his father, Venkataramana, wanted — to own a house that neither belonged to the government nor some landlord. He was a Railway employee and took voluntary-retirement post his cancer diagnosis.

Devika counted their blessings every given day for the healthcare facilities provided by the railway hospital. Though the queues were lengthy, treatment slow and sometimes the prescribed medicine could not be procured at the facility — it was a better option than private healthcare which they could never afford. 

Sanjay being the elder son took his job seriously and provided for the family. She often wondered about Sanjay's job — sitting at home and slogging at his laptop. It was unlike any other she had ever heard of. Even their neighbour's son went to some office and he was a software engineer too! She decided to keep faith in him, it was her upbringing after all and she took pride in it.

"I like to keep a clean house Sanju and you know that. All the dust wouldn't do. We need to maintain certain decorum with whatever we have."

"Amma, I know you just can't live in a shipwrecked place but this is my space and I like to keep things that way. I'll know where to find what."

"Ok Baba, I won't touch it next time. Now pull the table down and get your father, breakfast is ready. Vijuuuu? Breakfast ready, you wanted to go to school early right? Your lunch box is also packed," she hollered at her youngest son.

Their bedroom had a loft. With a bit of creativity and gypsum boards, space was made for Vijay—Sanjay's younger brother — to have a mattress, his books and his badminton gear.

Sanjay gently woke his father and helped him with his morning chores. His father was on chemotherapy and the treatment was brutal. He suffered from prostate cancer. The first time around, Sanjay was very young. Venkataramana was cured and went back to his job. But then he relapsed and this time it spread to other organs. 

Sanjay was homeschooled to take care of his father. His mother worked as a teacher in a private school and things were very dire at home.

He was a bright kid and took to computers at a very young age. He frequented his roadside computer service-centre once his mother was home from work. He learnt his way around these and quickly took up odd jobs of installations. Business boomed.

It was still early computer age in India. Desktop computers were bought for educational purpose, Tata Indicom-VSNL Dial-up internet connections were prevalent and broadband was unheard of in middle-income families. Floppy disks, CDs and random DVDs were used to carry data from the internet cafes to homes. These were the early 2000s in India.

Sanjay was too young to handle house visits. They were never trusted with expensive equipment that was bought with hard-earned and carefully saved money. He, however, helped in the shop and took up in-house repairs. Measly amounts in tens, twenties, and an occasional fifty were paid, that he judiciously handed over to his mother.

He respected his mother as she toiled hard to run the family and never back-answered. But the bond he shared with his father was different. His father knew all his secrets and encouraged him to go out of his way to learn new things.

Though it was only oral encouragement, Sanjay's confidence boosted. Yet he was an awkward kid with gangly arms and was quite tall for his age. He was exceptional when it came to computers. Soon he saved up and installed his first computer with an AMD Athlon processor, a second-hand monitor and keyboard. He quickly flared it up to get the maximum speed with two portable fans to cool the machine.

His mother couldn't hinder his growing enthusiasm with these machines because that is all he wanted, and to some extent, her guilt of not giving him enough was alleviated. He slowly got into the groove and could do more things than any other computer graduate. Devika, however, felt a need for formal education for him to find a footing in society. She challenged him to secure an engineering seat in one of the reputed institutes.

Sanjay excelled, got a free seat, and a full-ride scholarship at the institute. He took up software engineering and found a calling in ethical hacking. It was not a smooth road and he lost countless hours of sleep just to get things done and his fathers' condition did not help. His awkwardness and shy nature —having spent most of his childhood years only in the presence of his family and the computer shop— proved to be difficult hurdles in college. He was just happy he finally made it and their circumstances improved.

"What did you do all night?" Venkataramana whispered once he laid back on the bed after their breakfast. Vijay was off to school and so was Devika. It was just the both of them at home.

"Nah nothing! It was the usual stuff"

"ah! come on Sanjay! some of that stuff you work on is interesting. Did you finish the assignment?"

"Little bit more and then it is done. How are you feeling today? Did the cramps go away?"

"Yeah, sort of. I don't know why you three still care. I just want to die peacefully. I think that is better than going through all this. Maybe we should stop all the medication and leave it to fate."

Off late, this was all Venkataramana ever talked about. Death and to let him go. Sanjay did not flinch from talking about death or to think about it. He sort-of got immune to it from watching his father go through the worst, at such close quarters, for a very long time now. He had no answer to this question. It was not his place to decide for him. Whatever it was he would support his father and his mother too.

"You know Anya finally broke up with her boyfriend?" he deftly changed the subject to stop his father from spiralling down in self-pity. Talking about Anya was safe. She visited them a few times and her mother approved her. She wanted something else to happen between them than the friendship they always claimed.

Devika was shocked when she came to know about Anya's boyfriend and her conservative mind quickly shunned Anya from visiting them many times. Devika hated this new culture and often complained it was to some extent because of the 'damn TV and then Internet!!'

Though cell phones were banned on school premises, with working parents it looked like every kid carried one these days. It was a menace and she did not tolerate cell phones in her classroom. Her punishments were equally severe and thus there was a semblance of control in her class.

"Wow, that's something! How many years has it been?" Venkataramana perked up at this tiny morsel of juicy gossip. Even now he had hardly any energy to continue the conversation but held on. He liked talking to Sanjay.

In the meantime, Sanjay peeled away few pills from the medicine box and gave it to Venkataramana with a glass of water. His father dutifully consumed those without complaint.

"4 or 5 years I think. I don't remember. I told her, Amit was good for nothing. I don't think she loved him you know!"

"That's for her to know and not us. She is a good girl. Where is she put up?"

"Don't know. Have to find out."

"It's been ages. You don't talk much about her. I wonder what's between you two. I know your mother's sentiments but if you like her that shouldn't stop you from making her yours. Of course, only if she likes you in return. We can always talk things through to your mother."

"Nanna!! We are just friends, nothing more or nothing less. Besides our temperaments don't suit. Yeah, I need to talk to her and find out how she's doing,"

"Next time you meet her, ask her to visit me. It'll be a nice change from seeing the same old faces here, day-in and day-out."

"Maybe you should call your friends over and not mine," before he finished Sanjay found his father asleep.

Venkatramana, as he claimed, was tired and drifted off to sleep at the drop of the hat. Maybe his idea of never getting better had some merit. If that was the case, then Sanjay had to see through that his father enjoyed his last days rather than undergoing the draining chemo. His mother would need a lot of convincing. With these thoughts, he went back to his nook to finish his assignment.

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