We never get back to "Les Mis". I let Tall regale me with the story that I've heard several times before of how he slipped on black ice in front of his apartment, and the eighteen-year-old Ben walked by, stopped, called the ambulance, and went with him to the hospital.

I've never seen Ben's photos at eighteen. On the walls of the dojang Mike and Ben have been training and now teaching at for years, I've seen a couple of pictures of Ben in his early teens. I imagine the eighteen-year-old Ben with the same baby face as on those, his hair needing a cut and bright blue eyes like those of Tall's Benny.

We talk until I have to go to my first apartment viewing of the day. I have one studio apartment, one one-bedroom (that I know is out of my price range), and a room in a three-bedroom duplex lined up for today.

Tall's hug isn't so gentle. His trembling arms push me towards him, and he ranks in the top five huggers I know. Dad's hugs will remain the best hugs forever, followed by Angie's. Ben's and my half-brother Chris' whom I taught how to hug so that the other person can feel what you feel.

Tall lets go of me when we hear the door opening. We both look at it, expecting an attendant checking in on Tall, but it's Ben who enters the room and rolls a suitcase behind him. He glances between Tall and me and stops in front of the entrance.

"I came straight from the airport," says Ben.

I thought the wedding was today, and there's no way he could've attended it, gotten on a flight, and arrived here by lunchtime unless it was a sunrise ceremony, which didn't seem like something Brenda would be interested in. But who am I to say that? I know nothing about Brenda, and judging someone without a grain of information is something I try to avoid.

"Tall's all yours. I have to continue my apartment hunting."

"You haven't seen it then?"

Tall and I eyeball each other in case the other one withheld some important information.

"You'll have to tell me what you're talking about," I say.

"I'd love to know what's going on as well," Tall follows up.

"Search for Brenda and Linda Baxter. And none of it is true."

I grab my phone and enter the names in the search bar. A series of photos begin with one of a broad-shouldered long-nosed man towering over Brenda and Ben with a tall window behind them, one of Linda and the same man laughing in something looking like a club or a bar, and the last one is of Ben carrying a struggling Linda in his arms into an apartment. The texts underneath confuse the situation further.

'A secret wedding of Brenda Baxter to her sister's ex-husband Phillip, the second in command and sole heir of the Van der Heuvel Medical Device Empire, is canceled over questions of the paternity of Brenda's baby.'

'Learn more about our BB girl Brenda Baxter's latest crush: Ben Leonards, a video channel chef and personality.'

'Ex-husband vs. boyfriend: how Linda Baxter keeps losing men to her younger sister's charm.'

"This is some ridiculous nonsense. Who'd ever believe any of this?" I look at Tall, then at Ben.

"That's what I said," says Ben. "But the Baxters live in a different world, and the fight they had last night was like the fake ones in the show Angie made me watch. The reality TV about wives in various cities in the USA?"

"The Real Housewives?" I look at Tall for support, but he only shrugs his shoulders. Right, no TV.

"The entire trip was a series of unfortunate events. The only good thing is that Lida and I officially broke up."

Goosebumps spread across my arms, chest, and sprint down my legs. Broke up. Linda and Ben broke up. It's the thing I've hoped for that is now a reality—the Linda obstacle is out of my way.

"You are going to be late, Amelie," says Tall, and he's right, but it still feels like he's trying to get rid of me. I raise an eyebrow at him and he waves both of his hands toward the door in a 'hurry up' gesture.

I grab my helmet and head to the door that Ben's still blocking. I look up at him, hoping he steps aside to let me by, but he remains in place. I don't trust my voice, afraid that if I start talking, I'll blurt out my feelings for him just like I've blurted out Benny's name to Tall.

I turn sideways and try to squeeze by when he finally moves enough for me to pass through. The area by the door isn't large for two people to stand in, and my chest brushes against Ben's arm as I walk by. Probably not on purpose. I need to get it together. His breakup with Linda doesn't mean he's interested in me.

"Bye," I say over my shoulder, and power walk out of the room, through the hallways of the rehab center, and to the parking lot with Mike's bike. The feel of the engine roaring beneath me focuses me on what I'm doing, and I speed out of the parking lot, blood rushing through my veins faster than the bike moves along the road. I squeeze the handlebars and push it above the speed limit. The bike now matches the racing of my heart.

***

The last apartment I visit is on the first floor of a duplex. A bubbly girl with a high ponytail in a scrunchy and a fluorescent pink workout outfit that reminds me of Jane Fonda from Nonna's workout tapes opens the door.

"Come on in." She gestures me into the hallway where a bicycle hangs on a rack on one wall, and a mostly empty coat rack with a bench takes up space on the other.

"Lesley, she's here," she shouts.

I put my helmet on the bench and follow her into the bright and uncluttered living room with a large screen TV, an assortment of workout gear between it, and a plush sectional where a dog—half the size of Mom's furry babies Fufu and Tatin—sleeps curled up in the corner.

"I'm Shelly, and this is Bo." She points at the dog and lowers herself next to it.

"I'm Amelie, but go by Am." There are no chairs in the room, so I sit down on the opposite corner of the couch from them.

"Am, cool."

A man wearing the collar of his polo shirt turned up, walks over and plants himself between Shelly and me. He's in his thirties but gives off a vibe of a pretty college fraternity member.

He looks at a piece of paper in his hand.

"The application says you're Amelie D'Amico, a professor at UChicago? Don't they pay you enough to rent something better than a room?" His tone suggests something is wrong with me or the educational system.

"Assistant professor—not a high-paying job. Not until I get tenure." And I still have the credit card debts to pay.

"Just proves how broken our education system is," he says. So it was the system he disapproved of, not me.

"Are you ok with a dog?" asks Shelly.

"Yes, I lived with two for the last five years."

"We're no party central here, so as long as you respect that and clean-up after yourself, we should co-exist just fine. You'll be sharing a bathroom with Shel here, and you'll have to do chores on a rotating basis to keep the common spaces up. You get a shelf in the fridge. We split all the utilities, including wifi and no loud noises after ten. You can have people sleepover if they follow the rules, but we are not ok with long-term guests. Questions?" Lesley puts one foot on his knee, and I notice that he's barefoot.

"Is the apartment a no-shoe zone?"

"Yeah, shoes are left at the door. I'm half Korean, and Mom never let anyone wear outdoor shoes around the house. So that's non-negotiable."

"Should I take mine off?" I look down at my sneakers.

"You're fine for today, but in the future, you know..."

"Got it. Can I see my room?"

"Yeah, let's go." Lesley leads me down the hallway, and Shelly trails behind.

The room has a double bed, one bedside table. The window is large and lets in plenty of light. A small closet is full of clothes, a couple of half-full boxes are near it, and the beige carpet looks clean. It's not the ultramodern, recently renovated feel of the on-bedroom I've seen today, but it's leaps and bounds better than the dinky basement studio with a kitchenette and the foldout bed two feet from each other that I just came from.

"It's nice. When can I move in?"

"Two weeks. Aparna's getting married and should move out the weekend after next. Does that work for you?"

"I think so. I have three more places I'm looking at next week, but this is two blocks from the university. By the way, where would I park?"

"Oh, it's street parking only, sorry. The bicycle in the hallway is mine," says Shelly. "It's not terrible, you might need to park by another building, but it's fine otherwise."

"We have more people coming next week to look at it as well, and we will let you know by the end of the week, and let us know if you go with another place in the meantime, deal?" Lesley gives me his hand to shake, which I do.

***

"Come on in, stranger," Angie whispers and points at the head with light fuzz sticking out of a baby wrap on her chest.

Instrumental jazz murmurs in the empty living room. Apart from the music, the apartment is as quiet as Tall's. The couch no longer serves as a bed. I move the nursing pillow to one side and stretch my legs.

"Where's everyone?" I look over the back of the couch at Angie.

"Funny story." With a slight bounce to her step, she's walking in circles around the table that divides the open-concept living room from the tiny kitchen. "Mike was here this morning. Instead of going to the dojang, he came to talk to my parents and apologize."

"Did they rip each other's throats out?" After what I heard last time, I didn't expect anything less.

"That's the weird part. It was almost too peaceful. Mom and Dad decided to rent a place and help from the comfort of a separate dwelling. I suspect a night of restful sleep at the hotel without listening to Kora's screams helped as well."

"So, Mike's finagled his way back here?" I raise my eyebrows and shape my mouth into on 'o' in mock surprise. Whatever common sense Angie possesses disappears whenever her husband is concerned.

"Both Mike and my parents will be here tonight."

"Come again? Why the hell did they agree to that?"

"Cause tonight Mommy is sleeping by herself in a hotel room." Angie shakes her fists in the air in triumph. "Grandma, Grandpa, and Daddy are on baby duty tonight." She kisses Kora's head. "I haven't been so excited about sleeping alone in...I don't know how long. And then, yes, Mike's moving back in. It's hard to say no to him, and he did what he did with good intentions at heart."

"You know what they say: the road to hell is paved with those."

"Hush. You're the last person to give out relationship advice. Unless there's something I don't know about." She pauses her rounds, switches to bouncing in place, tilts her head, and narrows her eyes.

I can't hold her gaze and look away.

"What's going on? What are you hiding?"

"You were right," I say.

"Of course, I was right. I'm right about most things. But just for the sake of clarity—what was I right about this time?"

"Ben and Linda broke up."

"Finally." Angie forgets to moderate her voice, and the little one on her chest squawks.

"Sh-sh-sh. That's excellent news. Congratulations." Angie walks over to me and gives me a kiss on the head as she did with Kora. Being two years younger than me never prevented Angie from behaving like my older sister at least, or something more like my mother. "What's your plan about Ben?"

"I have no such plan." I cross my arms on my chest and prepare for her attack.

"Don't wait for the right moment too long. Being spontaneous is romantic, but you might be better off telling Ben straight up. He'd appreciate that." Kora continues to fuss, and Angie extracts the squirming bundle. "Is someone hungry? Let me warm up some milk for you, little miss."

"And embarrass myself?" I stretch my hands out to take Kora and place her on my knees. Her curious eyes land on me, her bud mouth opens, stays still for a bit before opening wider and resuming the cries. I begin jostling her gently from side to side, but the cries don't stop. "We can't assume that because Ben broke up with Linda, he's immediately interested in me or anyone, for that matter. Not everyone needs to be coupled up all the time. Preparing for the lectures that start in a week, securing a place to live in before Tall is discharged—those things alone give me plenty to do."

"How're you settling in at Tall's?

"You tell me. He has no internet, TV, and my low-rate cell service has no reception in his apartment. I don't see myself staying there longer than absolutely necessary."

Angie pushes my feet off the couch, puts the pursing pillow on her knees, and steals back the baby. Kora latches on to the bottle, and I can hear the music in the background again.

"Show me what you've seen today."

I get my phone out and scroll through the pictures, 3D tours, and virtual maps. Angie pours over the images and is more invested in the process than I am. Ben and Linda broke up. The thought is back. 'You better tell him straight up'—Angie's advice comes up next.



January 24th 2021

I'm back to posting Love Graduate Chapters. The plan is to do one chapter a week from now on and Sunday will be the day I'll be publishing them. It's weird to get back into this story again, but I missed the older Ben and Am.